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lemmy.today

bjoern_tantau , to greentext in Anon goes on a cruise, an illustrated classic
@bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de avatar

The joke works better with other countries. Swedes usually speak English exceptionally well.

PepeLivesMatter OP ,
@PepeLivesMatter@lemmy.today avatar

At the risk of overexplaining the joke, I think the word “titta” being used in this context plays a significant role in making this as funny as it is. It just wouldn’t be as funny if it was, say, Spanish (“mira”) or French (“regarde”).

Gork , to lemmyshitpost in its ok

wait girls can fart?!

Scubus ,

No, it’s a shitpost

Hobbes_Dent ,

No, the atmosphere gets out of her way.

FoxyGrandpa ,

Lol I bet you think they poop too. Hey bud, gullible is written on the ceiling

pipows ,
@pipows@lemmy.today avatar

I heard in a cartoon that girls do poop but it smells like roses

GluWu ,

No, girls aren’t real

Zoidsberg ,
@Zoidsberg@lemmy.ca avatar

Girls were invented by plumbers to sell more bathrooms

bulwark , to programmer_humor in Absolute legend

Reminds me of when my breaks started failing on my 1990 Chrysler LeBaron so I got a job at a break repair place long enough to fix them then I quit.

slouching_employer ,

brakes

Dagwood222 ,
normalexit ,

I think “breaks” is appropriate if you own a Chrysler.

Ironfacebuster ,

My dad has a TC Maserati (Chrysler labaron) and it’s “breaks” just recently stopped working for no reason, so very accurate

caseyweederman ,

braycks

boatsnhos931 ,

Bhrakes

bitchkat ,

And its pronounced “Brad”

bulwark ,

Lol, ya it was the breaks that I was too broke to afford brakes.

caseyweederman ,

Thems the brakes

kelargo ,

What needed repaired?

bulwark ,

Pads, calibers and new discs. That seemed like a lot of money for 17 year old kid. I worked there for a couple of months. I learned a few things, like working on brakes is not for me.

thejoker954 ,

I hate working on brakes. Even just replacing pads can be a pain in the ass nevermind when you have to do real work to 'em.

I try to do all the basic work/maintenance myself, but fuck brakes.

OopsOverbombing ,

Sheeeeit I’ll do your brakes for you. Brakes is easy and satisfying.

ASeriesOfPoorChoices ,

those bits on a car are called “brakes”. When a brake breaks, it’s a broken brake and needs to be fixed.

zcoyle ,

“if it ain’t brakes, we don’t fix it”

OopsOverbombing ,

Thank you. That’s one of my little pet peeves I see online; that and when people are trying to say lose but type loose.

AnarchoSnowPlow ,

They’re they’re, it’ll be all right.

SidewaysHighways ,

Don’t forget to breath

MDKAOD ,

But then all the sudden everything went wrong on accident.

qyron , to lemmyshitpost in Parfait au pork

Burn this abomination.

random_character_a ,
@random_character_a@lemmy.world avatar

Consumption is a kind of burning.

AmosBurton_ThatGuy ,
@AmosBurton_ThatGuy@lemmy.ca avatar

It’ll burn my asshole on the way out, does that count?

qyron ,

Burn it by fire.

AngryCommieKender , (edited )

Technically that happened before it was assembled. Though they were skilled enough to not actually burn it, and just trigger a Maillard reaction.

MeDuViNoX ,
@MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works avatar

Maillard*

AngryCommieKender ,

Thanks, we certainly aren’t going for roast duck all the time

JCreazy , to programmer_humor in Absolute legend

It seems like I’m constantly finding bugs in businesses’ apps. Do they not have people test them?

example ,

sure they do, you’re one of them

vithigar ,

As someone in the dev team for a “business app”, we probably know about most or all of them, but they’re just not important enough for anyone in management to prioritize them as part of a sprint. It’s also possible no one has given us reproducible steps to make them happen, so we just straight up don’t know what to fix. Usually the former though.

jol ,

They do, and they have a backlog of hundreds of issues to fix and they must prioritise then. If fixing a bug doesn’t make money, it’s not priority.

MashedTech ,

I deal with this every day. It hurts me to my core.

Lost_My_Mind ,

I hate how they’ll spend 4 years squashing all the bugs…and then they cancel the software, and release a new buggy version.

RGB3x3 ,

cough Sonos

KillingTimeItself ,

i will never forgive the emby team for creating the single most idiotic (although rather funny) transcoding system.

It has a resolution selection, along with a bitrate selection, so you would think it forces transcoding.

It turns out the resolution is actually just a suggestion, and the bitrate is what it targets, if it doesn’t meet the bitrate, it will transcode, and if you get lucky, it might transcode to the specified resolution.

bitchkat ,

I am steadfast that I will occasionally take some time and kill off some low hanging fruit. For me, its kind of like a break and lets me clear my head on the bigger issues.

jol ,

Even then, there are bugs that need multiple people (design, engineering, content, QA, etc) and are not something that can be fixed on a whim.

bitchkat ,

Those would not be considered low hanging fruit.

jol ,

The problem is that what users consider low hanging fruit is often not, and what is low hanging fruit for devs, is invisible stuff that users don’t notice. The intersection is the tastiest low hanging fruit, but as such it’s also rare and easily picked by anyone.

bitchkat ,

I never said that users were involved in this. This is just grabbing some bugs off the queue that are simple to fix but have been deprioritized by project manager.

But they do make the customer happy because they are the one that submitted the bug.

mrkite ,
@mrkite@programming.dev avatar

I would fix that bug but the complete rewrite that management has had me working on for the past two years will make it obsolete anyway.

douglasg14b ,
@douglasg14b@lemmy.world avatar

Ah, the circle of life

NigelFrobisher ,

Sometimes no.

Blackmist ,

Yes, they’re called “customers”.

KillingTimeItself ,

they test them…

Whether they do anything with that testing is another story,.

chocoladisco ,

We are supposed to be testing them? /s

KillingTimeItself ,

you already are smh, you just don’t know it!

Andrenikous ,

Sometimes. Other times they layoff the QAs and anyone else whose job is about quality.

douglasg14b ,
@douglasg14b@lemmy.world avatar

They usually do yes however it’s all about prioritization.

You may have hundreds or thousands or open requests and issues.

With tens of thousands of closed issues that were either not reproducible, not actually problems, or largely indecipherable.

There’s usually a feature roadmap which is where most of the development money and time is spent. If it’s an older business application then certain bugs might easily take weeks to find, fix, test, validate, go through user acceptance, A/B test, and then deploy. But fixing is expensive work, so if the bug isn’t severe it’s usually deprioritized next to higher priority work.

hsdkfr734r , to programmer_humor in Absolute legend

Let the patch be part of the code for one or two minor releases. Then revert the changes of the patch.

victorz ,

Why would they do that? Talk about generating mistrust.

henfredemars ,

It may not be malice. Incompetence.

jaybone ,

They are going to “accidentally” remove a fix?

henfredemars ,

By not understanding how version control works. I’ve worked at places that had a surprising number of developers who would just merge things in ways that drop code from other developers.

siipale ,

Can you give an example how that would happen?

henfredemars ,

It’s pretty straightforward. Merge conflicts? No such thing! Just make my version the next version.

dejected_warp_core ,

Also that’s likely a team that doesn’t use a branching workflow, has poor review on merges, and/or using Git like it’s SVN.

henfredemars ,

How optimistic. At my last workplace I got us to finally stop using zip files for version control. This was at a fortune 500 company.

The utility of software is so great that even terrible processes are still functional to some degree.

dejected_warp_core ,

A times B times C equals X. If X is more than the cost of a failure or security breach, we don’t fix the software.

Are there a lot of these kinds of problems?

You wouldn’t believe.

Which Fortune 500 company do you work for?

A major one.

henfredemars ,

I now work for a small business but in the interest of not getting bitten in the ass I don’t wish to give the name of my previous employer. It was a large defense contractor, but our values didn’t align so I moved on when I found another opportunity to put food on the table. I know that’s not a satisfying answer but I’m here for entertainment value and the opportunity cost might not be worth it. My main point was that even though they have the money they didn’t see the value in good software process.

All the time! We would leave bugs unfixed even if the fix was trivially easy because management felt productive listing it as a cost savings. Software maintenance was seen as a necessary evil.

dejected_warp_core ,

Software maintenance was seen as a necessary evil.

The most important lesson I learned about the economics of software is that sourcecode is always accounted as a liability and not an asset. Accountants will never let you code your way into more value. Everything else you see stems from that truth.

entropicdrift ,
@entropicdrift@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

Force push to the master branch or release branch, for one

Sidhean ,

I dunno, but it’d be funny

mryessir ,

Rehire obv.

victorz ,

Good luck with that lol. Who would fall for that.

mryessir ,

Corporate rated this strategy viable

Dampyr ,

Calm down, Satan

Hootz , to programmer_humor in Absolute legend

Always love this one, I’d do the same but there’s to many fucking things to fix.

petersr ,

Sounds like you should find a new product to use.

Hootz ,

I would but due to capitalism there’s not much of a choice in products.

I hate when companies just eat an entire industry.

laughterlaughter ,

What’s the product and what’s the field?

Fenrisulfir ,

Windows

areyouevenreal ,

Plenty of alternatives to Windows lol. Try a different industry.

laughterlaughter ,

I didn’t downvote you; but I’m sure the OP was joking.

areyouevenreal ,

Man I hope so but you really never know these days

Hootz ,

Soda and soda accessories.

I’m a Bev tech, there’s two companies that make bar guns, tapright and multiplex aka wunderbar. There’s more options for fountain dispensing but most of my work is bars and restaurants.

Also AMA about soda dispensing at bars.

laughterlaughter ,

Thanks!

Heh, well, here’s a question: what type of software is missing in this industry that would make a killing in profits, if developed?

Hootz ,

I’d say an app or service that allows restaurants and bars to connect with local independent bar and soda techs to request services. Has the ability to track calls, submit invoices and collect payment along with maybe being able to order from suppliers

There’s alot of places that have no idea who to call for issues relating to that stuff especially with how often staff turns over.

laughterlaughter ,

We should talk :)

dejected_warp_core ,

Also AMA about soda dispensing at bars.

It’s been ages since I worked in a restaurant. IIRC, I never saw that place purge or clean the soda lines. And there was a LOT of plumbing between the fountains and the back where the syrup was kept.

At the risk of making everyone re-think ever eating out again: how often do establishments do that kind of maintenance? And is that within the recommended manufacturer interval?

Hootz ,

Oh my the scary question.

Most places legit never do unless there’s a problem. When I do service I’ll usually flush what is needed but I don’t have time for a full cleaning since the customer is supposed to do that.

Corporate chains tend to have actual SOP so they tend to be cleaner in general and will have their lines cleaned more often.

I generally suggest every 4 weeks, and to do it when a box needs to be changed since you are only gonna be flushing the last bit of an old box out of the lines. Luke warm water in a 5 gallon pail and you dunk your qcds with the caps off, run the gun or fountain till it’s clear then start mashing the buttons to get any bits stuck in the line. Pull the qcd from bucket then put cap back on, reattach to box and run gun/fountain till product is running properly.

Tbh, it’s not the lines you gotta worry with soda it’s the gun itself, some places never clean the nozzles and they get gross. Also most of the time any bad tastes are related to water or a bad syrup ratio. I had someone call me saying their lemon lime tasted “dirty” it was a bad ratio, took me not even 5 min to fix.

I’d worry more about the beer though that’s a whole different beast. Lines should be done every two weeks, once a month at the very least. That shit will make you sick if it’s dirty enough, I’ve seen so horrid things related to beer.

Kedly ,

What’s a good alternative to reddit that isnt Lemmy?

RampantParanoia2365 ,

Have you heard of Digg?

Kedly ,

Fuck man, If I switch to Dig I feel like I’ve done the internet out of order xD I’ll have to check Digg out I guess

cumskin_genocide , to programmer_humor in Absolute legend

Bro that reminds me when I was in university and I used to tutor fellow students with the goal of getting laid. As soon as I got laid I stopped tutoring. Now unfortunately I’m married and have kids because of that.

PoopingCough ,

wat

cumskin_genocide ,

You read what you read

bamfic ,

pooping cough was confused by cumskin genocide.

Princeali311 ,

He tutored girls with the hopes of getting laid, but then when he did, it turns out he liked her and settled down with her and is now married to her.

PoopingCough ,

Ohhhh for some reason my mind went to him trying to tutor other dudes to help them with women. Was very confused.

Microw ,

You guys ooze heteronormativism

RustyShackleford ,
@RustyShackleford@programming.dev avatar

You ooze self-righteousness.

Microw ,

The original commenter @cumskin_genocide did neither specify their own sex nor the gender of the people they tutored.

Multiple people under that comment simply assumed that OP is male and was tutoring girls. That is heteronormative. Yes, I formulated that with a bit of snark. But come on.

RustyShackleford ,
@RustyShackleford@programming.dev avatar

But come on.

Unironically, no u.

dejected_warp_core ,

Same.

Wow, what a bro. Where was this guy when I was in school?

::re-reads comment and thread::

Oh. Yeah, that one’s on me. That makes a little more sense.

feedum_sneedson ,

It’s an excellent tactic.

Kolanaki , to lemmyshitpost in Finally
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

Boston Baked Bean Boston Creme Pie

stringere , to lemmyshitpost in Bottoms up!

Hoser bomb:

  • half pint Labatt’s
  • shot of Canada Dry
  • shot of maple syrup

Hoosier bomb:

  • half pint Bush beer
  • shot of Jack Daniels
  • shot of ranch dressing
buzz86us , to programmer_humor in Absolute legend

Maybe the guy is content where he was, asks just wanted to fix that bug

c0ber , to programmer_humor in Absolute legend

this is why open source?

KillingTimeItself , to programmer_humor in Absolute legend

this is the first real 100x developer.

Haus , to programmer_humor in Absolute legend
@Haus@kbin.social avatar

ESR: "Every good work of software starts by scratching a developer's personal itch."

bitchkat ,

I thought that buffoon was out of my memory Everybody Loves Eric Raymond

Thcdenton , to programmer_humor in Absolute legend
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