CuriousMagpie

pathfinder , 2 days ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic

Burnout is a bitch. I think all of us who have experienced it, or are experiencing it, will agree with that. But, how it presents and how long it maintains its hold over us, seems to be as variable as so much else about us.

I can now recognise the many times I have experienced burnout in my life. Each one marked by my constant refrain of, "I'm just tired" and with me doggedly plodding on with my life as best I could. Even now, in the deepest and longest burnout of my life, I am still doing the same.

Of course, I at least know to try and pace myself now. To let the unimportant things slide until their time comes and to spread out what has to be done, to the best of my ability. I know to dedicate time to self-care, to rest and recreation and to acknowledging my needs as an autistic person. This much, realising you are autistic can teach you. It can also help you to spot the signs of burning out sooner and hopefully mitigate its effects that way.

When that's possible, of course. For what caused my current burnout was unfortunately a series of overlapping events that I could not avoid, or do anything about. It was almost as if life chose to keep throwing things at me, each more intense and impossible to avoid, until I broke. But then life can be like that sometimes.

Autistic burnout is, of course, different from normal burnout, in what causes it and how it presents. It is, more often than not, a breakdown of our ability to cope with the demands being placed on us and not with how much we can carry. We are used to carrying insane loads and with having to work so much harder than most other people, just to keep putting one foot in front of the other through life. In fact, I know that I never really rest, not even now. My life is one long and continuous assessment and checking on whether the routines I have in place are being maintained. Whether I have done everything, on what needs to be done and finding new ways to blames myself for why it hasn't been done yet. There is no such thing as not working as far as my brain is concerned. And because I never stop, I don't know how to stop. How to heed the signals of tiredness and exhaustion and how to not knuckle down and continue anyway. It has been the story of my life. In work and everywhere else, always push, push, push.

And perhaps this is why autistic burnout is so common and possibly even inevitable. The sheer effort that life already is. The constant raggedy edge we walk just to get through a day and how in doing this day after day, all we end up doing is teaching ourselves to ignore the warning signs and that our needs are even important. And end up learning instead, that all that really matters is the next plodding step, no matter the load we are already carrying.

#Autism
#ActuallyAutistic

shawnwildermuth , 12 days ago to random

A weird request, but here I am. I am looking for software developers who identify as Autistic. I'm trying to do some research for an upcoming film.

My DMs are open if you're interested.

#autism #SoftwareDevelopment

pathfinder , 15 days ago to actuallyadhd

@actuallyautistic
@actuallyadhd

After joining a post by Niamh Garvey (hopefully a successful link to it below) about whether she had adhd as well as autism, I have spent the last couple of days contemplating this idea for myself as well.

I am still not entirely convinced, but I am beginning to suspect that I might well be in this situation as well. After watching a number of YouTube videos from those with both autism and adhd and reading up on adhd, I can see a number of things that point on that direction certainly, although I'm not entirely convinced.

I have always been aware of the near overwhelming urge to either interrupt people, because there is something I want to say and if I don't then, then I know there is a more than a reasonable chance that I will forget what it was. I also have a tendency to want to finish people's sentences. Both of these things though I have taught myself to resist. Even though I feel a great deal of discomfort doing so. I am also more than aware that I can forget what I was saying, or thinking, halfway through a sentence. That digging through the trash to find the package with the instructions on, that I only just threw away after reading, is not uncommon. As is failing completely to understand or remember the instructions someone just gave me.

But then, my short term (working) memory is basically non-existent. But, I'm also aware that this is a fairly common problem for autistics and even before I realised I was autistic, I built up systems to help myself deal with this. As well as with my general forgetfulness. Lists, memory aids, even making the route out of my flat a trip hazard to make sure I don't forget to take something with me. Also, I live alone and essentially there is a place for everything and everything has its place. Not foolproof and I have lost things in a very small flat that I still haven't found. But generally speaking effective.

I struggle to start tasks, especially tasks that I have no real interest, or desire to do. Being interested in something has always been my main motivator. But eventually, I can normally force myself and work my way through things, especially if I know they are necessary. Knowing I have this problem is also why I hate leaving things to the last moment. I know that I am more than capable of doing that if I allow myself, but also that the stress from doing so is nearly overwhelming, even if it can be motivational. As is the stress of clutter. Not the organised clutter that is my flat, where I know where everything is, as in somewhere in that pile over there, but the clutter that builds up eventually and begins to feel as if it is out of control.

Novelty is a factor in my life. Or, boredom, rather. Because sooner, although far more likely later, I will grow bored with routines, or things like safe foods, and need to change them. Many of my interests also seem to suffer from a similar threshold. A certain point where I lose interest and no longer feel any need to maintain them, even though this might make me feel guilty about giving up on them. In fact, I hate boredom and I have always needed a certain amount of new things to watch, or discover and to be actively doing stuff, if only in my head. And whilst I have never thought of myself as being particularly spontaneous or impulsive. I am, within certain limits of self-control. There is a rationality that often has to be appeased that gives me a sense of control. I have also taken stupid risks and great risks. But rarely beyond what I knew was necessary, or to my mind, at least, controlled to a point.

I can be easily distracted, by random thoughts or by, (well obviously not squirrels, I mean who would be? but, oh, oh, there's a butterfly) things. But not always to the point that I'm not at least marginally still aware of what I should be paying attention to. Letting myself wander whilst maintaining at least a marginal awareness is an old trick of mine. I have always been a fidgeter, but that's also how I maintained concentration. Feeling the overwhelming need to move, has always seemed to me to be anxiety driven, or is the way I focus and think. In fact, movement for me has always been as much about settling and regulating myself, as it has been compulsive.

As I said, there are certain things that seem to fit, even if they also seem to have been effected and possibly modified by my autism. I would love to hear your thoughts.

https://beige.party/@[email protected]/112390279791932822#

CuriousMagpie , 19 days ago to bookstodon

I #amreading Arboreality by Rebecca Campbell and my heart is breaking at the beauty of her words describing an untenable reality of climate change. This is a book I will read read slowly to savor. @bookstodon

CuriousMagpie , 27 days ago to bookstodon

Ooo - this looks like a great book! @bookstodon

The Big Idea: Samantha Mills | Whatever
https://whatever.scalzi.com/2024/04/25/the-big-idea-samantha-mills/

CuriousMagpie , 1 month ago to actuallyautistic

This is so delightful!
#wordnerd #languagelearning #TeVaka #Tokelau #SpecialInterest @actuallyautistic https://invidious.drgns.space/watch?v=t-mgheGe0t8

BernieDoesIt , 1 month ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic I'm in the process of switching one of my meds to another one because my #ADHD inattention was starting to get bad. I was really apprehensive because it's switching from one selective reuptake inhibitor to another, and withdrawal symptoms for that can be pretty intense. But within a few hours of the first dose I could pay attention to things again and my thoughts started to seem more related to each other. No withdrawal symptoms yet (knock on wood). I'm just so happy about it!

CuriousMagpie , 1 month ago to actuallyautistic

Migraine: day 11
I am so exhausted

(migraine meds make it worse - 😡 for sensitive system)

#disability @actuallyautistic

Susan60 , 1 month ago to actuallyautistic

The attacks on aid workers in Gaza should not surprise us. And I wonder why some people are more outraged by the deaths of these workers than the deaths of innocent civilians including babies. Am I being particularly autistic here? @actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic

CuriousMagpie , 1 month ago to actuallyautistic

I’m learning about brain zaps - they feel like electric shocks in your brain. They are a lovely side effect [yes, that is sarcasm] of stopping venlafaxine (effexor) before trying a different antidepressant for preventing chronic migraine.

I also feel like I just got hit by a truck and every inch of my body hurts.

tbh - I am now afraid of trying the new antidepressant (nortriptyline).

Suggestions via your personal experience welcome (no mansplaining)

#disability @actuallyautistic

JeremyMallin , 2 months ago to actuallyautistic

Apparently, rewatching television shows and movies a million times is an autism thing.

That's me. 🙋‍♂️
#ActuallyAutistic
@actuallyautistic

Mux , 2 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic
I often hear about temperature dysregulation, but I don't think I experience that myself. Rather, I experience sensory sensitivity to heat.

I was wondering how this manifests in the community. Are you sensitive to cold? To heat? To dryness? Humidity? Or are you generally dysregulated? And what does that mean for you?

CuriousMagpie , 2 months ago to actuallyautistic

Me: Yumm that smells good, I wonder what my neighbor is cooking?
Also me: Dammit, I’m cooking! I hope I didn’t burn it again.
Me as well: I didn’t burn it again. 😮‍💨
#AuDHD @actuallyautistic

Susan60 , 2 months ago to actuallyautistic

I just had my 2nd session since realising my autism, the 1st since 5 weeks with my partner with his family. So mainly a catch-up & info dump. Will clarify goals next time.

In the past therapy has been about me info dumping & them validating, helping me to clarify & a few strategies, but I struggled with clear goals.

I feel so much clearer now.

Previous therapy focussed on the impact of external traumas, the loss of loved ones, sexual assault, divorce etc, but ignored my internal pan that wasn’t explained by those traumas. I learned a lot that was useful, but so much was left unexplained. I was still in survival mode.

She reflects back & asks questions to confirm, clarify & express her understanding, & her very expressive face helps with that. I used to feel that I must look the therapist in the eye for the whole session, but I now allow myself to look out the window.

The waiting room is dim lights, soft music…

I used to feel that I had to work hard to convince the therapist, to get them on board with me, to understand, & maybe to like me so they’d be motivated to really work with me.

I think that having a somewhat better understanding of myself means I’m much clearer about boundaries, & that helps soooo much.

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic #ADHD

olena , 2 months ago to actuallyautistic

I hate working in openspaces with no option to go to a quiet place. Right now there are two phone calls and three conversations around me in a mix of four languages(I know all, and my brain choses randomly on which sounds to focus), and the task documentation I’m writing right now has to have very careful and precise wording, and I keep re-reading the same paragraph over and over again and don’t even get what I’m saying.
#AuDHD #autism #neurodivergent
@actuallyautistic

autism101 , 2 months ago to actuallyautistic

Some autistic people experience meltdowns or shutdowns.

When I get overstimulated I tend to shutdown.

If you experience either of these, or both, which is more prevalent for you?

#AskingAutistics #ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

image: @introvertdoodles
info: Kate Gaster

CuriousMagpie , 2 months ago to actuallyautistic

Now that I have my new noise canceling headphones 🎧 and my Loop earplugs … my stress level has dropped significantly!!!!!!! So grateful 😃
@actuallyautistic

autism101 , 3 months ago to actuallyautistic

There are common triggers that can lead some autistic people to experience a meltdown or a shutdown.

Do you have any?

#AskingAutistics #ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

image: @littlepuddins.ie

kcarruthers , 3 months ago to random

Alert #autism folks. A friend is mentoring a founder going through a startup accelerator program. It’s for idea stage founders. He’s wanting to do customer discovery interviews to validate his idea, which is a mental health app to support adults with autism.

If you know anyone would be open to having a chat with him, please check out more info:
https://embodify.my.canva.site/lets-chat

shom , 3 months ago to random

Does anyone have sci-fi book suggestions that are more sci-fi utopia and world building?

I have grown up on sci-fi dystopia and I love it but since we're currently living in one I want to read something uplifting. Collection of short stories would be awesome too!

Please and thank you!

#bookstodon #books #scifi

alexisbushnell , 3 months ago to actuallyautistic

Is there any point me contacting my GP about my #burnout? Can they actually do anything at all?

Asking cos I just went to make dinner. Found stuff I had to do first and had as meltdown in the kitchen, after which I had to retreat upstairs again to recover, without the food or drink I went down for. And now I'm stressed because I put stir fry in my app and I can't go make stir fry now so that's wrong, and I know I can change it but it's not that simple.

@actuallyautistic

dyani , 3 months ago to actuallyautistic

An interesting question for my @actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic neurokin.

What was your first special interest?

The very first one you can remember as a kid.

Mine is/was cats, starting at like age 3 I think. Absolutely enamored with them (and still am) and wanted to know everything about them (and still do). 😻

autism101 , 3 months ago to actuallyautistic

Watching the same show over-and-over again is one way I regulate the autistic side of my brain. But the ADHD side sure gets bored sometimes.

Do you watch any shows on repeat?

#AskingAutistics #AskADHD #ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

image: @NoNonsenseND

autism101 , 3 months ago to actuallyautistic

Anxiety is my constant companion. I’m always anxious and it only varies in degrees. It’s been this way my entire life. Nothing really changes that fact.

Do you deal with anxiety?

#AskingAutistics #ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

image: @worrywellbeing

callunavulgaris , 3 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic Does anyone else feel that they're always the problem, in any given situation where a misunderstanding or disagreement has arisen? Whether it's something you've done/missed/forgotten or your reaction to something or to people's reactions to your mis-step? At the moment I feel like nothing but a problem and I've been conscious of the issue as long as I can remember. It could get quite depressing.

Susan60 , 3 months ago to actuallyautistic

Such a long day’s travel yesterday, winding up with a family dinner, when all I wanted was to unpack, shower & go to bed. Managed to excuse myself from the conversation to do just that. Yay me! @actuallyautistic

A cow peeking through trees and underbrush at the edge of a field.
A lush garden with blooming flowers in raised beds, a green watering can, and a small blue shed with a heart-shaped cutout in the door. Trees and shrubbery in the background under a cloudy sky.

CuriousMagpie , 3 months ago to actuallyautistic

A completely free cookbook for the zero spoons crowd.
@actuallyautistic #disability #actuallyautistic https://traumbooks.itch.io/the-sad-bastard-cookbook

rebekka_m , 3 months ago to actuallyautistic

Revenge Bedtime Procrastination:

For most people it's a great Meme source, for some others it's just an unhealthy coping mechanism.

Please discuss.

@actuallyautistic

JeremyMallin , 4 months ago to actuallyautistic

Are there any Autistics who do not have internalized #ableism about themselves? 🙋‍♂️

How do you overcome a lifetime of that?

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

dramypsyd , 4 months ago to actuallyautistic

I've been asked to create a training on mental health care for autistic adults in burnout.

If you're comfortable, I'd love to share quotes from #ActuallyAutistic adults and their experience with burnout, and what support actually helped you.

If you want to give a quote, please comment below or submit here: https://resiliencymentalhealth.com/contact/

Please include how I should cite you in the presentation.

@actuallyautistic
💜

coffe , 4 months ago to random

Jag vill börja logga mina böcker och läsning. Har väldigt svårt för Goodreads. Vad använder ni för att hålla koll och "dela med er" av er läslogg? Självklart går det att ha nån sida på min hemsida eller bara en .txt nånstans. Men hur kul är det. Jag vill ju se vad andra läser och dela med mig av min enormt dåliga smak!

📕 ☕ 😆 🧙‍♂️

#askfedi #askfedivers

theautisticcoach , 5 months ago to actuallyautistic

How did my #ActuallyAutistic comrades self-regulate before they knew that they were #autistic or before they learned healthy ways to do so?

#AskingAutistics

@actuallyautistic

JeremyMallin , 5 months ago to actuallyautistic

A thing I don't get about #SmallTalk (one of many things)

Why does everyone talk about the weather shortly after greeting each other?

"Um? Yes, I too went outside. That's how we both got here."

Did they think you didn't notice on the way over? 🤔

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic