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olena

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Too ND to actually go get diagnosed

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Gender/sexuality - whatever
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olena , to actuallyautistic
@olena@genomic.social avatar

How to spot a at work



@actuallyautistic

olena , to actuallyautistic
@olena@genomic.social avatar

Can we please have some consumer EU legislation that will prohibit making clothes with labels that can’t be easily removed? I don’t even want to know what goes in heads of those designers who slap a piece with metallic thread right at that spot below your neck that is always touching and sews it there in a way that it can’t be removed without damaging the clothes. It’s just nightmare, and it’s so completely useless!!!
Or am I the only one struggling?
@actuallyautistic

olena OP ,
@olena@genomic.social avatar

@LVN2DRM @actuallyautistic and I swear, those labels are better sewn to the garment that its buttons and even seams are!

olena OP ,
@olena@genomic.social avatar

@LVN2DRM @actuallyautistic yeah, there are sometimes the ones that don’t have tags and have the sizing info printed on the inside, some have tags specifically sewn with one distinctly colored thread which you can pull for the tag to easily come off - there are solutions available. But at the same time some would just sew the tag in the seam so there’s no way to remove it at all. Or have a sign to cut it off, but it will stab and irritate you if you do. Just why?

olena , to actuallyautistic
@olena@genomic.social avatar

I hate working in openspaces with no option to go to a quiet place. Right now there are two phone calls and three conversations around me in a mix of four languages(I know all, and my brain choses randomly on which sounds to focus), and the task documentation I’m writing right now has to have very careful and precise wording, and I keep re-reading the same paragraph over and over again and don’t even get what I’m saying.

@actuallyautistic

olena OP ,
@olena@genomic.social avatar

@actuallyautistic and no, I can’t solve the issue of noisy workspace with noise-canceling earphones. Because of sensory issues, I can’t stand earphones for a long time(well-fitting in-ear get uncomfortable in like half an hour and over-ear ones I need to take off in just a few minutes), my ears hurt and burn, and I feel so uncomfortable that I can’t think of anything else
people with sensory issues with headphones, what do you do with the work noise?

olena OP ,
@olena@genomic.social avatar

@humanhorseshoes @actuallyautistic I wish I could, but they make my ears burn in just a few minutes

olena OP ,
@olena@genomic.social avatar

@squipo @actuallyautistic as someone prone to migraines, I am kinda hesitant about anything putting pressure on my scull) I even avoid wearing hats (and in freezing temperatures use loose hoods and scarfs instead)

olena OP ,
@olena@genomic.social avatar

@johne @actuallyautistic I have a twisted ear channel, found that when I went to an audiology center to check my hearing because suspected APD, only to be told that my hearing is technically good for my age and if I have issues with understanding words in noisy environments - I just have to relax and stress less. Apparently, the main audiology center of my native country is not aware of APD) but at least I know that I have the twisted channel and some minor loss at 6kHz

olena , to actuallyautistic
@olena@genomic.social avatar

Not sure why, but I realized that recently my side kinda outweighs my side. I get overwhelmed much easier, I got more intense shutdowns, but I keep up with certain routines better. Maybe it has something to do with aging, maybe with living alone, or with learning to better recognize my needs and letting myself be instead of masking 24/7. I wonder if other people notice the balance changed with age or lifestyle changes
@actuallyautistic

olena , to random
@olena@genomic.social avatar

What being is like.
I decided to make miso-glazed eggplants for dinner. I usually make them with some sesame seeds. This time when I was almost done, I couldn’t find the sesame. I know I have at least two different packs somewhere. I found none on my seeds shelf, I wasn’t able to find any from the first try in my a bit too well-stocked pantry cabinets. So I got upset, finished making them as is, and don’t want them for dinner anymore, and am now cooking eggplants with za’atar

olena OP ,
@olena@genomic.social avatar

It’s usually said that and traits tend to compensate for each other, and yeah, at times they do (like I may partially compensate absence of habits by routines and rituals etc), but sometimes they’re making it worse, like today, when my ADHD part misplaced the sesame and forgot where - and autistic part was so overwhelmed by inability to do things as already expected that totally rejected the resulted dish and almost cried at some point
@actuallyautistic

olena , to actuallyautistic
@olena@genomic.social avatar

I’ve heard today that people don’t form habits, they create routines.
I thought of my ‘useful habits’ - and yeah, right, they are routines.
But then I thought: well, what’s the difference then? What is a habit if NOT a routine?
Can anyone help me with examples of what may be a habit, but not a routine?

@actuallyautistic

olena OP ,
@olena@genomic.social avatar

@VoxofGod @actuallyautistic aren’t addictions something totally different?

olena OP ,
@olena@genomic.social avatar

@RolloTreadway @actuallyautistic interesting. With such view, it seems like eating or drinking(not alcohol) is a routine in a traditional society, and to me it’s a habit) I mean, traditionally the meals are supposed to be scheduled, and you’re supposed to drink tea or whatever either during the meals or in specific circumstances. Meanwhile, for me that doesn’t work, and I prefer to eat and drink whenever I feel thirsty or hungry - eating/drinking routinely makes me feel sick

olena OP ,
@olena@genomic.social avatar

@arcana @actuallyautistic btw, speaking of lights. In all my previous homes there was no big choice: only one switch in a room usually. Entering a dark room, I tried to turn the lights on, but pretty often in a wrong place(the switches were placed differently in different rooms). My current home has several light switches near the door. I live here almost two years. Every time I come home I need to actively decide which switch to use.

olena OP ,
@olena@genomic.social avatar

@arcana @actuallyautistic for me it’s 50/50 trying to turn off what wasn’t turned on or forgetting about the lights at all. The fact that I can’t tell if a switch is in ‘on’ or ‘off’ position doesn’t help either

olena OP ,
@olena@genomic.social avatar

@jared @actuallyautistic my cat is very sensitive to routines. She’s used to the things going a certain way: if I do a - b,c and d must follow and in that very order. And if it’s disrupted, she’s going very, very vocal about her disappointment. On one hand, it’s kinda useful, and very soothing for us both, on another - disrupting often isn’t ok for me either, so her adding on top of that may be worsening the situation for me)

olena OP ,
@olena@genomic.social avatar

@anomaluridae @Sci_Fi_FanGirl @arcana @actuallyautistic I never was able to form a habit of making/covering a bed/folding blankets etc. But after my cat destroyed a few bed sheets and duvet covers I loved, I started covering it consciously, though failed to do that regularly until incorporated that into my morning routine. Still, if someone/something distracts me in the middle - not done)

EmilyMoranBarwick , to actuallyadhd
@EmilyMoranBarwick@mastodon.social avatar

Hung out with a friend yesterday and he was able—ON THE SPOT—to ACCURATELY estimate how much time it would take us to go to thrift stores and eat lunch.

My brain: WHAT MAGIC IS THIS?!?


@actuallyautistic
@actuallyadhd

olena ,
@olena@genomic.social avatar

@EmilyMoranBarwick @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd experience. Me, AuDHD, PM-ing:
December, bosses speak of a new project:
-When can it be done?
Me, without thinking:
-September
Bosses: What? Why? It’s tiny, we need to launch it in June, let’s ask devs
Devs: We’ll be ready in March
Bosses: See?
Me: you forgot other depts
Bosses: we’ll add people, it’ll be ready in June
Me: tries to not say a joke about 9 women and 1 month
…
September, 3: the launch

olena ,
@olena@genomic.social avatar

@EmilyMoranBarwick @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd I mean, I only come in time because I overcompensate a lot, going out 1 hour before to the place at 20 minutes walk distance. Being able to estimate doesn’t mean being able to actually follow the plan later. Maybe that’s why if I try to think logically and rationally, I can never guess correctly. But just intuition with no thinking says right normally for me, idk why

olena , to actuallyautistic
@olena@genomic.social avatar

I totally can’t play any games where I have to control character movements(especially first-person) by WASD, arrows, gamepads, joysticks etc. Point and click is my everything. Is it something people often struggle with, or is it my personal problem? If - is it something more typical for or ? Or should I check some other flavor?
@actuallyautistic

olena , to actuallyautistic
@olena@genomic.social avatar

I find it extremely hard to ask for accommodations (much harder than even asking first help). Like, I don’t want to be perceived as arrogant and entitled, I don’t want to bother other people, I think other people don’t owe me anything, so I kinda don’t feel like I have a right to ask. Like, it’s my problem, I shouldn’t turn it into theirs.
I wonder how other folks feel about that. Do you think it’s something we’ve been taught?
@actuallyautistic

rebekka_m , to actuallyautistic
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

Okay, my outing of the day concerning - I can relate to much of the content on gender identification in this post written by Bianca Toeps: https://www.toeps.nl/blog-en/personal-en/identification.

She also wrote a book "But you don't look autistic at all" which I have started but not finished yet @thestorygraph account, thanks to ...], seems OK or even better than OK. Personal journey, sprinkled with facts.

@actuallyautistic

olena ,
@olena@genomic.social avatar

@rebekka_m @thestorygraph @actuallyautistic it’s nice to see someone saying out loud the same that I feel. Love that ‘I don’t identify, others do’. Just mentioned recently that maybe it has something to do with our neurodivergent (autistic? ADHD?) inability to feel belonging to any group: https://genomic.social/@olena/111671517576955141

olena , to random
@olena@genomic.social avatar

Which flavor of is inability to feel belonging to any group? I think, I finally got why I don’t get that thing. Basically, a gender is just another cohort, with some assumed properties. A group one feels belonging to. And I have never felt as a part of any group. I never fit in. Each cohort is supposed to have certain properties, and I just never have all. I just feel like impostor in any, including any gender/sexuality groups, including

olena OP ,
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@btaroli @actuallyautistic to me, it feels like the world would be so much easier if the very concept of gender and gender roles didn’t exist, and to ask/assume other people’s biological sex would only be appropriate when you want to procreate with them (or in some medical cases)

olena OP ,
@olena@genomic.social avatar

@GinevraCat @btaroli @actuallyautistic actually, yes! When I got to the parts with them, I was like ‘why is it even supposed to be funny? They are the ones reasonable here’

Susan60 , to actuallyautistic
@Susan60@aus.social avatar

Thought. I have always run warm. I do feel the cold, but not as much as most people. I hate (detest?) overheated department stores. This got worse with the onset of perimenopause, & I was unable to wear jumpers for years, because I couldn’t get them off quickly enough during hot flushes, which threatened spontaneous combustion. This settled somewhat after finally going on HRT.

I’ve noticed a change since going on ADHD meds. I now wear winter pjs on a “cool” summers night, & a nightie on warmer ones & am more likely to don a jacket of an evening.

I’m wondering whether this is a consequence of the meds, & overheating is related to ADHD. @actuallyautistic

olena ,
@olena@genomic.social avatar

@Susan60 @actuallyautistic both me and my kid have AuDHD and are overheating especially easy when moving. I usually wear one layer less than people around. I always take off a layer or two in a mall. At +5C, I leave a house wearing a thick cardigan over silky office shirt. After walking for about a kilometer, I undo the buttons. In a km more, I take it off. But not the thin gloves. My hands and feet are almost always cold. My normal body temperature is below 36C.

olena ,
@olena@genomic.social avatar

@Susan60 @actuallyautistic I know that for most people it’s about the hormones, but I don’t think it’s limiting to them: I’ve been taking the pill for most of my life, but I’ve been overheating since childhood, as well as my kid (oh those terrified glances and comments from grandparents and strangers!). We’re joking that we’re just Pratchett’s trolls

olena ,
@olena@genomic.social avatar

@LordCaramac @Susan60 @actuallyautistic btw, as for ‘natural’ heat: I used to live in a cold humid climate, and for me tolerate temperatures above +25 was already hard. Now I live in a dry hot sunny place, and for some reason I not just tolerate local 35+ three months a year, but actually enjoy it. Just not indoors. Indoors should be cool.

olena ,
@olena@genomic.social avatar

@LordCaramac @Susan60 @actuallyautistic I actually have a hypothesis that probably ADHD temperature regulation troubles may be the direct result of issues with hypothalamus: some studies have shown the link between that brain part and ADHD, and this is precisely the zone responsible for temperature regulation among other things

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