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@rebekka_m@fnordon.de cover
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

rebekka_m

@[email protected]

[she/her/dontcare]

Born at 340 ppm, living in #Hannover, Demokratin, secretly hopes to be a research witch. Natur, Struktur, Bücher, Psychologie and everything else, too. Lieblingsfarbe bunt, Lieblingssymbol unendlich [haha, The Irony], #AuDHD und auf dem langen Weg zur Imago. Hobbies Lesen-Lesen-Lesen.

"Nicht jeder Tag ist gleich!1"

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suearcher , to random
@suearcher@toot.wales avatar

@Maker_of_Things and any other bookworms, you might like this...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRN0FwjBJiI&ab_channel=TheStitchery

rebekka_m ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

Paging @Kuchenschwarte and @bookstodon and @onezero and @kaltmamsell and ... everyone who loves books, sewing, pockets OR ALL OF THOSE!!

Great Video and account, thanks to
@suearcher and @Maker_of_Things for sharing!

rebekka_m , to random
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

The Rincewind stuff by does not get me, I am sorry. Managed my way through the series including/up to "Eric" and no, this one was the worst, I am done with Rincewind. Much too stereotypical, whimsy, uncapable and yet involuntarily funny Male of the 80ies.

Now will dive into the industrial revolution series, starting latest Friday with "Moving Pictures" :)!

Any Opinions?

rebekka_m OP ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

Oh, and on paper I started to read The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret [again, already read it in 2017] since there is The Testaments, its sequel that came out almost parallel to Trumps installment as POTUS, in 2017. The Testaments is requested by another library user and I have to give it back on the 22nd of June so I am in a bit of a hurry with those two, as I like it. 🥳 @bookstodon

rebekka_m , to bookstodon
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

In parallel I do read A Tall History of Sugar [2019] by Curdella Forbes that takes place in rural and starts in the late 1950ies. Seems very promising, being already on page 47! @bookstodon

rebekka_m OP ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@bookstodon Very strange reading a book with two main characters that both are so heavily coded as , but I don't think this was done on purpose...

rebekka_m , to bookstodon German
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

Hab heute mittag in der Bibliothek mit Aller Liebe Anfang [2014] von Judith Hermann gestartet - und es gerade beendet. Hat mir sehr, sehr gut gefallen, große Leichtigkeit und Schwere in einem. @bookstodon

rebekka_m , to bookstodon German
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

Gestern hab ich The Sudden Appearance of Hope [2016] von Claire North beendet [gut, aber nicht revolutionär], heute starte ich mit einem im voraus faszinierenden, hoffentlich nicht zu viel versprechenden Buch:

Mütter Europas - Die letzten 43000 Jahre [2022] von Karin Bojs

@bookstodon

rebekka_m OP ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

Eins kann ich, obwohl erst auf S. 20, schon sagen:

Leider gefällt mir die deutsche Übersetzung von Erik Gloßmann überhaupt nicht und die Ausgabe von C. H. Beck ist schlurig [oder gar nicht?] korrigiert/lektoriert. Wer kann, sollte das schwedische Original [oder eine andere Übersetzung] lesen.

@bookstodon

dyani , to actuallyautistic
@dyani@social.coop avatar

I can tell when I need to lower the volume of something I'm listening to when I feel a kind of tightening in my ear muscles, and/or ringing in my ears, or a slight feeling of stress coming in from my environment.

I also just try to remember to always proactively lower the volume a couple ticks from what i first set it at, to prevent all those sensations.

What are the signs for you that things are a little too loud?

@actuallyautistic

rebekka_m ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@dyani @actuallyautistic the "kind of tightening of my ear muscles" also does it for me. Also I feel a strong physical need to reproach from the sound origin so am shifting my upper half backwards if it's a person and inwards if it's coming through my own headphones. Worst: My earbuds sometimes get really loud mid-hearing bc the phone's volume buttons get cramped in the car mug holder burrow 🫨

LehtoriTuomo , to actuallyautistic

I've been trying to understand what it means that an autistic brain is bombarded with so much information. We spent some time at our summer cottage and I think I got some insight in this.

Instead of seeing the lake in front of my eyes, everywhere I looked I saw a detail. Its size would vary but it would still be a detail. A swan there, its partner there, no leaves on that tree yet, what a cool pattern on the small waves, what does it look like when I move my eyes this way, or that way, a car on the opposite shore, the shadow of the tree, I wonder what seagulls those are etc. A new detail with every single glance.

At the same time my attention tried to keep track of the dog and listened to birds singing and bumblebees flying around.

Now I wonder what it feels like just to see the lake.

@actuallyautistic

rebekka_m ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@LehtoriTuomo @actuallyautistic y'all know the "how a scientist sees the world" meme, with written formulas all over the nature trees etc? I've ALWAYS thought that that's not a scientist'a view but an ND person's, but what do I know [very good scientists = have to be very creative and, you know what I'm implying here]...

rebekka_m , to actuallyautistic
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

Just in case you'd like to watch a very motivating video and person talking about thinking, words, and linking, you MUST have a look at @nickmilo rambling about one of his special interests here - really got me elevated:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byLXCTVXSpE

Seems to me as if this could be of interest to many of you @actuallyautistic :)?!

kkffoo , to actuallyautistic
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic I have managed to get involved in a community for a particular game and not been asked to be a moderator in the social space, this is quite an achievement for my developing unmasked genuine grumpiness :)

rebekka_m ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@kkffoo 😅 adulting goals for me [especially at work] @actuallyautistic

olena , to actuallyautistic
@olena@mementomori.social avatar

What some people don’t seem to be able to understand is that for the ones with executive disfunction number of steps matters a lot.

I just put away all my dried laundry aside of duvet cover.

Why? Because for all the other things it’s easy one-step task: grab all the knickers and shove them into the drawer, get the home clothes and put it into home clothes cube box(that cubed Ikea shelf is such a helper for people like me, I just have a cube for every thing).

But the linen shelf is at the top of the bathroom closet, and it’s almost full. So I need a stepladder to be able to put the duvet cover there(I can try to shove it there without, I kinda reach the shelf itself, but in its current state the cover is likely to fall from there, and probably with some other things, so that would upset me which I am not ready to deal with now).

But the stepladder is now occupied by my winter shoes which were drying there before I put them away for summer.
But to put them away I need to get two big boxes from under my bed, empty one by putting everything that is there into the other one, put all the shoes there, put the boxes back under the bad, ensure all the boxes there are arranged in a way that is allowing my cat to play in that labyrinth, and probably clean up after that as I suppose there’s going to be a few dust bunnies.

Gosh, I got tired by just typing all that.

Going through all those steps may bot take too much time(if I don’t get distracted by something, including the urge to sort everything perfectly), but the very thought of going through all those steps just discourages me so much that I can’t find energy to start. “It’s just one duvet cover!” - they say. “It’s a shitton of steps!” - I answer.

Well, the cover is drying in a way that obscures a view from my bed which irritates me enough to maybe develop enough anger to put it away in the weekend.





@actuallyautistic

rebekka_m ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@olena @actuallyautistic completely and exactly this. 🧡🧡🧡 Can relate lots, got exhausted while reading the steps ;)!! That's also one of the reasons why I often leave something undone/unfinished when cleaning something or an area, so to cheer me up about the fact that I don't have to do EVERYTHING of it, because it's just too much. That's better than doing everything - but in a shitty way.

theaardvark , to actuallyadhd
@theaardvark@mastodon.me.uk avatar


How does everyone know how, when and how much they're masking?
As a late-diagnosed , I struggle to differentiate between "me but masking" and "me but in a diff situation".
Now that I know I'm autistic, I even miss the person I used to be in some situations before I knew.
I used to call myself a "social chameleon" - I just changed automatically to suit the circumstances.
But who actually am I and what is just a mask?
@actuallyautistic
@actuallyadhd

rebekka_m ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@lifewithtrees @theaardvark @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd for me it's SO difficult to really perceive and feel those good feelings inside me, I tend to believe this is due to bad interoception and maybe also alexithymia [frequent in NDs]... but yeah, that's the way to go. ❣️I wish both/all of us success! [Late dxed only a year ago, then being 42yo.]

rebekka_m ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@lifewithtrees @theaardvark @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd totally relate to the outsourcing of decisions/stored archives of my own likes and dislikes!!

rebekka_m , to actuallyadhd
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

A very interesting concept which explains a lot for me [and about members of more distant family members].

Creating Autistic Suffering: The AuDHD Burnout to Psychosis Cycle - A deeper look

https://emergentdivergence.com/2023/06/05/creating-autistic-suffering-the-audhd-burnout-to-psychosis-cycle-a-deeper-look/
@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

rebekka_m , to actuallyautistic
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

Thanks to the universe I'm such a high masking autistic that I can sprinkle the world with info about The 'Tism and am still being looked at suspiciously, even if it's friendly suspicion. That's ableism, I shall say.

I'm exhausted after such conversations with almost strangers [e.g. very recently the hearing aid acoustician [almost surely ADHDer] I got my tailored noise filter from] but will continue to do so - cause unicorns need exposure to be able to recognize each other. @actuallyautistic

rebekka_m , to actuallyautistic
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

I don't remember who in the @actuallyautistic recommended the comedienne Fern Brady @pathfinder?] but I've watched some vids on YT with her since and just discovered she has a complete NETFLIX SPECIAL out! <3 Autistic Bikini Queen [2024], I just watched it and it is great.

lifewithtrees , to actuallyadhd
@lifewithtrees@mstdn.social avatar

Learned a new word for a thing I do.

What do you think of it @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd ?

AGNOSTHESIA

n. the state of not knowing how you really feel about something, which forces you to sift through clues hidden in your own behavior, as if you were some other person — noticing a twist of acid in your voice, an obscene amount of effort you put into something trifling, or an inexplicable weight on your shoulders that makes it difficult to get out of bed.

rebekka_m ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@lifewithtrees @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd for me Agnosthesia covers my own indecisive feelings and behaviors better than Alexithymia... So thanks for digging this one out!

pathfinder , to actuallyautistic
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@actuallyautistic

I once wrote about how it was not unrealistic, to think that there was no such thing as an un-traumatised autistic. About how so many of us have known bullying and persecution simply for being different. Not even always for what we may have said or done, but often for simply standing out; in all the ways that we didn't even know we were. How just simply being, was so often an excuse to be attacked or punished. That our very existence, even as hard as we tried to mask, whether we knew that was what we were doing or not, was the cause of so much pain.

All the scars we carry from misreading situations. Or from believing in something, or someone, and being burnt as a consequence. All the times we've tried to stand up for ourselves, or as often as not for others, and been dismissed and ridiculed. All the misjudgements and disbelieve and times when our intent and purpose have been seen in the ways that were never, ever, meant. The sheer inability for others to see us as we are, or to judge us accordingly. But, always to seem to want to see the worst and to base everything else on that.

But the more I learn and understand about being autistic. The more I realise that so much of my trauma and the scars that were left, came not just from this overt pain, but from the covert well-meaning of others as well. From my parents and relatives, from friends and teachers. From all the advice and instruction I have received over the years that was meant to shape me in the right way. As a child, to teach me how to grow up, how to behave and act. What was expected and what wasn't. And then, as an adult, how I was supposed to be and how a successful life, with me in it, was supposed to look. All the rules I was supposed to learn, all the codes I was supposed to follow. How to act, how to speak, what to feel, when to feel it. What I was supposed to do and how I was supposed to be.

Not in any unusual way. Not in any way that you weren't supposed to raise a child, well a normal child anyway. That's what makes this so covert. If you were trying to do this to a child knowing that they were autistic, then it's overt abuse. It is ABA, it is infantilising and punishing a child for always failing to become something, that they had no more chance of becoming than a cat has of becoming a dog. But for those of us who didn't know we were autistic. It was simply the constant hammering of the world trying, without even realising it, to fit a round peg into a square hole and all the pain and disappointment that came from their failure to come even close.

For me, what made this worse, was that it wasn't as if I didn't know that I was different, not in my heart, but that I thought that I shouldn't be. That I should be able to learn what I was being taught, that I should be able to follow the guidance. That I wasn't any different really from anyone else and so if I failed to act in the right way, or react the way I should, for that matter, then it was my fault. All the patient sighs and familiar looks, simply became just another reinforcement of my failure. Even being told off for the simplest things, became a reminder that something that I should have been able to do, was beyond me and always for the only reason that ever made any sense; that I was broken, that it was my fault somehow.

Is it any wonder that so much of my life has been about trying to justify myself in the light of this, of trying to become that "good dog". Of judging myself against an impossible standard. A constant lurching from one bad to choice to another, and always because I thought they were the right ones. And for each new failure and inability to even come close, another scar, another reminder of what I wasn't. Further proof that my self-esteem was right to be so low. Of how I was such a failure and a bad person. That I was never going to be a proper son or brother or friend. Because I couldn't even be what I was supposed to be, let alone what I should become.

Looking back, I can't help thinking about how much of my life I spent living this way; of trying not to repeat the sins of my past. Of not repeating the actions or behaviour that led to those past failures and trauma. Of, in fact, all the effort I put in to not being myself. Because that, I realise now, was what I was trying to do. I was that round peg and trying to hammer myself into the square hole. Because everything I had learnt had taught me to think that this was how I had to be. That this was how you grew. And in so many ways, I can't help feeling angry about this. About the wasted years, about the scars I carry that were never my fault. About the way I was brought up, even though none of it was ever meant, but only ever well-meant.


rebekka_m ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@filmfreak75 @BernieDoesIt @glen @pathfinder @Tooden @actuallyautistic I had a hearing disorder/slowly became completely deaf on my right ear so that's where all my sound sensitivities [which are overwhelming if I let myself to admit it] were attributed to until I got my diagnosis with 42. Can relate.

rebekka_m ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@BernieDoesIt, I am laughing too hard about this toot. 🫠😅 @glen @pathfinder @Tooden @actuallyautistic

mraharrison , to actuallyautistic
@mraharrison@mstdn.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Hi all adults over 40, who were late diagnosed like me to share experiences. What's the best thing you did once you knew?

rebekka_m ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@miffyhelen that's exactly me in Leer [very small German city near my home base in Hanover] this last week 💪👋🥳 recharges all of those inner batteries... @mraharrison @actuallyautistic

rebekka_m , to actuallyautistic
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

Written by Zack Budryk:
"[...] fictional representations of autistic women remain rare. Three recent examples in the mystery genre are helping to make up this gender gap and illustrating the range of the spectrum with very different but equally unforgettable female protagonists. In these stories, crucially, autism isn’t a superpower but a part of the protagonist’s personality that can frustrate her efforts as often as it can help point her to the truth."
@actuallyautistic
https://www.washingtonpost.com/books/2024/04/01/autistic-women-mystery-fiction

rebekka_m , to actuallyadhd
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

Review paper on shared heritage of and from 2009. Since we recently discussed this I think you @actuallyautistic and @actuallyadhd might be interested too - haven't read it yet, got it via @sensorystoriesbynicole, a very great account on and other ND stuff on Instagram btw

Edit: Now with LINK in it, DUH!

https://pure.uva.nl/ws/files/1233857/95183_345238.pdf

hosford42 , to actuallyautistic
@hosford42@techhub.social avatar

Requirements to put in a job description to discourage or filter out autistic people:

  • Comfortable with ambiguity
  • Strong people skills
  • Good culture fit
  • Multitasking
  • A fast-paced dynamic environment
  • Bachelor's degree or better

I see these things and think you don't want my >30 years of programming and machine learning experience, or my problem-solving skills and comprehensive knowledge that had people mistaking me for one of the team's PhDs, or my solutions that have proven patent-worthy. Your loss.


@actuallyautistic
@neurodivergence

rebekka_m ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@Dr_Obvious @crashglasshouses @hosford42 @jon_valdes @actuallyautistic @neurodivergence more advanced companies [advanced in what I would call "organizational management"] tend to split career pathways in two strands, managing and capability/technical understanding wise. And they choose early in one's "company life", or even better: hire accordingly. You need a good organizational dev team/HR dep for that + most companies are not willing to pay for it because the benefits will show [too] late...

rebekka_m ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@Dr_Obvious @crashglasshouses @hosford42 @jon_valdes @actuallyautistic @neurodivergence was thinking a lot and another reason for this [at least in German Mittelstand] is that "we"/they haven't understood yet that "managing" is a profession, and yes, you can show "talent" or own certain personality traits that help but also one can learn to manage better! And instead of looking for those and training them, e.g. done by managing experts, they take the ones who are experts in the domain...

Averixus , to actuallyautistic
@Averixus@toot.wales avatar

I've never related to the analogy of having no filter. It only works if communication is like a torrent of innermost thoughts that are constantly being stopped lest they spurt out.

I don't have to work to not communicate, I have to work to communicate. everything i ever say is painstakingly assembled and forced out, the idea of being able to do that so easily that I could actually say something by accident is completely alien.

Is it just me?

@actuallyautistic

rebekka_m ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@hosford42 @Averixus @actuallyautistic slightly off topic but thanks for this interpretation [or perspective on] hyperfocus!

rebekka_m , to actuallyautistic
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

Hypothesis to be discussed with the @actuallyautistic:

The high prevalence of in Autistics might be just the symptoms of an overstimulated life, misunderstood communications and lots of trauma that led to cPTSD.

Would also explain why ADHD meds very often don't work for Autistics - but certain antidepressants do.

What do you think?

rebekka_m OP ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@Dr_Obvious @actuallyautistic concerning ADHD I didn't have had any of the symptoms until my late teens or earliest 20ies, but the diagnosing physician nevertheless dx'd me with medium/severe ADHD... I won't conclude from me to many or all - but the med thing as well as an article that I've read that suggests there are environments that even don't enforce the typical autism symptoms brought this hypothesis to my mind...

rebekka_m OP ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@hauchvonstaub @actuallyautistic I agree. And at the same time more precisely the hypothesis is meant as to imply that the ADHD symptoms at least [genetic overlap exists, right, I forgot] would be non existent if it wasn't for the NT environmental pressure... But this is driving into some corner, will think more about it.

rebekka_m OP ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@hauchvonstaub @actuallyautistic good comparison with the lactose intolerance, brings me to the somewhat more specific argumentation that in comparison with non autistic ADHDers the autistics show ADHD symptoms VERY early if NOT adhering to a "vegan diet", and that would mean they have even more ADHD than... Grrrrrrrrrrroar. Can't pinpoint it, this stupid unscientific feeling of mine -.-, sorry.

rebekka_m OP ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@hauchvonstaub @actuallyautistic ok, but what do you think about the antidepressants that actually help autistics with the ADHD, and the fact that usual ADHD meds very often do not have any effect? Maybe we can't argue about the overlap in genes as if the "outer" parts were adjunct...

rebekka_m OP ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@RavenLuni @actuallyautistic my "non vegan" reference was just a metaphor, so in my toot it stands for a non autistic-friendly environment, because @hauchvonstaub referenced that somewhere above ... Did not mean to claim anything regarding any diet in relation to autism!

Thanks for the hint that this can be misunderstood, @nellie_m !

Sci_Fi_FanGirl , to actuallyautistic German
@Sci_Fi_FanGirl@hessen.social avatar

Dear fellow @actuallyautistic people,

Can you relate? Sometimes there are upcoming events and I know they'll overwhelm me completely. I'd like to avoid them, but sometimes I don't dare to ask because I don't want to be the person that always asks for a special treatment (German: Extrawurst). I'll complain all the way, but I don't opt out.

I know I have to work on this. It's not about a solution.

Is it internalized ableism? Camouflaging? People pleasing? Insufficient coping at the event?

rebekka_m ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@actuallyautistic

That one struck a chord! 🤯 Finally I am ready to call it by its name:

I myself am an autistic autism NIMBY, sad but true.

Thanks for the insight due to your own unacceptance, @aevole, wish you the best though.

Uair , to actuallyautistic
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@actuallyautistic

A question for non americans:

Does your society admit there's anything wrong with plastic?

Let me count the plactic i dispose of every day. One around each granola bar, up to 4. One around the plastic knife, fork, spoon +napkin at dinner. Styrofoam(!!) cup of milk. One bag for every three cookies. I have a mug, but just saw a man using 2x styrofoam cups to get enough coffee.

I have negative money and live in a homeless shelter. I do a lot better when on my own.

rebekka_m ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@Uair @actuallyautistic Germany, I can buy most vegetables in many supermarkets without any packaging or can use very small free paper bags. There is the plastic wrapped stuff, too - and most of the time that's cheaper. I am not sure but believe that plastic straws are forbidden at all. Many Coffee Shops offer to fill your ToGo in your own thermos mugs. We do sort our waste on a household basis like crazy - but the plastics mostly get burned anyway...

So mixed feelings here.

rebekka_m , to actuallyadhd
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

For people that are not @actuallyadhd the common medication feels different that for those who are - non ADHDers feel like on Coke, very energetic and highly vibrant, similar to using Speed, while ADHDers tend to get calm and focused, able to concentrate at all.

Question [I haven't googled yet]: What is it with antidepressants - if people without a depression take those, do they feel LOTS happier than ever or something different?

Or do you know sth. about this, @actuallyautistic?

rebekka_m OP ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@sal just to be sure, with "speedier" you mean "effects similar to using speed"? - The 1st sentence of your 2nd paragraph is interesting, do you have/know sources/any backup? @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

rebekka_m OP ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@peterainbow @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic thanks, will watch this in some days! And concerning your first response toot I found this very interesting paper from 2022 [unfortunately German]: "It is important to emphasize that it became clear early on that this mechanism is not specific in two ways." and so on and so on [deepl translation]. Thanks! https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00739-023-00898-w

rebekka_m OP ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@hauchvonstaub @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic yeah, quick look at the wiki article, it says that the withdrawal symptoms of paroxetin are more/often than with other SSRIs. - Interesting effect with the reverse, until now I'd only heard of the "well known fact" that "all anti Ds do flatten your affects".

rebekka_m OP ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@hauchvonstaub @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic very interesting and new for me, I'd not heard of Tricyclic ADs until now, thanks!

And yeah, brain and neuro topics all are very diverse and individualistic - but I just wondered, and it already is paying off for me/my curiosity since all the different takes here :).

rebekka_m , to actuallyautistic
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

Yay, @niamhgarvey|s book for people has arrived in my Packstation [kind of a central locker for post fetchable anytime you want]! :))) And when I added the book as "to read" on @thestorygraph I found a review by @miffyhelen :) so hi there 👋
@actuallyautistic

Dr_Obvious , to actuallyautistic German
@Dr_Obvious@chaos.social avatar

@actuallyautistic
I want to try out some kind of meditation to better deal with things that go into direction of anxiety/phobia.

Many people here mentioned that they are doing it and my therapist mentioned that there is good evidence for some methods which are not esoterical and are proven to help with that like MBSR.

Someone here recently highlighted waking up. But before I try that out I am curious whether you have recommendations for self paced tutorials.

rebekka_m ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@holyramenempire @Dr_Obvious @actuallyautistic yes, comparable to what @Zumbador said.

An advanced practice of yoga or meditation doesn't mean doing 100 hours of it each week but just to start anew if you somehow fell out of your routine [and that might be 5 minutes a day!] without self loathing. <3

rebekka_m , to actuallyadhd
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

Here all @actuallyautistic and @actuallyadhd folks can find a great series of articles on neurodivergent life in academia: https://elifesciences.org/inside-elife/44d04224/being-neurodivergent-in-academia-why-sparks-of-change-is-publishing-stories-from-neurodivergent-researchers

Found that via @marews - thanks, lots and lots!!

On this page I also got to a list [it's a spread sheet! <3] of hacks/tipps/insights from ND scientists for mutuals that is so damn rich I HAVE to share it with y'all here in addition: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/10Q8AgTAK3FPRxpF6Uta-Ye9Op-pYz7aENxPP_7MXT2o/edit#gid=0

rebekka_m , to random
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

https://www.alfiekohn.org/blogs/autism - Alfie Kohn, 2020, on ABA, Applied behavior analysis, basically Skinner's operant conditioning, that STILL is in use for/with people, especially children:

"Suppose you participated in implementing a widely used strategy for dealing with homelessness, only to learn that the most outspoken critics of that intervention were homeless people. Would that not stop you in your tracks?"

Got the blog post via @rabbit_fighter, thanks.

rebekka_m OP ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

And just now it dawns on me that the "mask learning process" could be seen as some kind of "unsupervised ABA" - and therefore masking coult be similarly harmful, EVEN IF it was applied consciously - because the autistic masking behaviour is not comparable to emotional labor [we had this a few days ago] due to the lack of "natural" NT emotions and mimics etc. in ND people.

@actuallyautistic

rebekka_m OP ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@eric @actuallyautistic yes, that also puts it well for me. Since I am somewhat near programming and tech, I really do like the AI metaphor with unsupervised = not forced by one mind or guided by regal rules learning.

Especially since I fir some time now tend to think that humanic intelligence also "only" is the result of "learning with SUPER computing power, supervised by MULTIPLE super AIs [microbiome, parents, other adults, mutuals etc]"...

rebekka_m OP ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@samid @actuallyautistic I believe the thing is, the mere act of smiling when you dont feel like it means the same in masking [M] and emotional labor [EL], youre right. But ALL scientific research that is referring to the concept of or containing the term EL has the proposition of an NT person that due to its NT wiring WOULD smile in this interaction with a friend, and just dont feel like to do it job-related [if not in the mood/sympathy]; and that just isnt the case for folk.

rebekka_m OP ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@samid @actuallyautistic By drawing that line I just would like everyone to have in mind that the knowledge concerning EL + the precautions that one might be able to do to NOT feel the burden of EL - doesnt apply to autistics, because masking is a different psychological concept. While writing I just had the thought that masking for ND people maybe could be compared to an NT that always forces themselves to make a "disgusted" face when greeting a friend, instead of a smile.

FractalEcho , to random
@FractalEcho@kolektiva.social avatar

The Mad Scholars Anthology Project is finally happening.

Mad Scholars: Reclaiming and Reimagining the Nuerodiverse Academy

Edited by Melanie Jones and Shayda Kafai, this book contains chapters by numerous Mad Academics, including myself.

Published by Syracuse University Press

"...one of the most timely, conscious, and robust contributions to the field of Mad Studies that I have yet to encounter. The world needs this book, and it needs it right now." - Syracuse Reviewer

My chapter is called "The Subject is Mad" and flits about through various vignettes of madness from Academia to childhood, and explores how madness informs practices of reading, writing, speaking, and percieving.

Of my own chapter, a reviewer wrote, "It’s beautiful; it also gestures toward a variety of Mad epistemological interventions while leaning heavily into Mad stylistics. I appreciate the way they emphasize Mad community and ancestry."

Contributors:
SAV SCHLAUDERAFF
SHAWNA GUENTHER
REBECCA ELI LONG
JESS L. WILCOX COWING
SYDNEY F. LEWIS
LEAH LAKSHMI PIEPZNA-SAMARSINHA
MELANIE JONES
CACHÉ OWENS
SARAH CAVAR
RUA WILLIAMS
KELAN KONING
LIZ MILLER
SAMUEL Z. SHELTON
PAU ABUSTAN
A-M MCMANAMAN
JESSE RICE-EVANS AND ANDRÉA STELLA
SARAH SMITH AND GRACE WEDLAKE
SARAH ARVEY TOV
KIMBERLY FERNANDES
DIANE R. WIENER
HOLLY PEARSON
SHAYDA KAFAI

rebekka_m ,
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

@FractalEcho wow - the above future publication about neurodiversity in academia will be of interest to the @actuallyautistic and also the @actuallyadhd and other ND folks, I believe!

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