We're both getting on in years. She's older than me and she's worried that if she goes before me (not imminently.. 20 to 30 years at least I hope) I'll be on my own without friends.
I keep telling there's a difference between being lonely or being alone.
I don't really have a social life outside of my wife and her friends (and I consider them HER friends rather than mine) but that's fine for me #autistic#ActuallyAutistic
The whole conversation was triggered by me saying I had planned a cycle route up around our old stomping ground of Dulwich.. and my wife suggested I call in to visit a "friend of ours"
I told her I really wouldn't feel comfortable calling on them without her present as I considered them more her friend than mine and that I was only "friends by association" which triggered the whole "who do you consider friends?" Conversation which led to the "im worried about you being lonely" chat #Autistic
I don’t have nostalgia. I don’t miss places. I may remember them vividly, and love something about them, and hold it dear in my heart, but when I leave - I don’t want to come back.
Actually, I feel rather bad if for some reason I have to. Because the place has already changed. Because I have already changed. Because we’re out of sync now(if we ever were). Because I don’t belong. And seeing that hurts actually way more than just not returning.
Maybe it has something to do with the lack of object permanence. Maybe it is more about that autistic refusal to accept the reality which differs from expectations. Inside, I feel like a kid having a meltdown in the middle of the shopping mall because the toy they got was not 100% what they imagined it was going to be. No place is what you remember when you return after leaving. Maybe that’s the reason.
Is it something other #neurodivergent people also experience often? Do you feel nostalgic often or refuse to get back?
UPDATE: NY Governor Kathy Hochul said on CNN last night that she is considering a ban on masks.
This is absolutely shameful! New York has suffered so much from COVID, and COVID is not over. We should be normalizing and depoliticizing masks, not banning them.
Last month I surveyed 2,750 people on their language preferences surrounding autism. The first set of results has been published, and compares Autistic and non-Autistic preferences
Everytime I stand in front of the door and frantically search for the keys in my bag, all that #anxiety makes me panic, pushes me to the verge of tears - even though it is not such a big deal because I’m not in a hurry and if anything, the concierge has a spare pair.
So, naturally, my #autistic brain tries to compensate for a possible #ADHD fail - and every time I walk home, I feel almost unbeatable urge to get my keys out of my bag to my hand when I am still like 200 meters from home.
I suppose, it’s the same overcompensation mechanism that makes me come to airport at least two hours before the departure and to a train station at least an hour before, buy spares of essentials each time a bottle starts feeling not full, or always have a stocked pantry(though there may be multiple of ones and none of others as I always forget to check what I have before going to the store)
Is this exaggerated(to the point of creating problems) ‘better safe than sorry’ something #AuDHD people are more prone to? Do you guys also do that? @actuallyautistic
Two different psychs now told me I have "autistic traits" significant enough to have fucked my life.
I'm functional enough that I don't qualify for state help, and won't be able to afford private care for a while, so I have to DIY.
Could anyone recommend resources on how autistic adults can learn to deal with the condition, especially when it comes to socialization?
Thank you <3
What are your thoughts on self-diagnosis being belittled by many in the autistic community?
For clarity, I’m not asking to start a debate, just a genuine discussion. I currently don’t have the option to get a diagnosis, but feel fairly confident that the research I’ve done over the past year and a half has been legitimate and credible.
I don’t feel comfortable saying that I am definitively autistic, but I am ok with saying I’m “self-suspecting.” #actuallyautistic@actuallyautistic
@chevalier26@actuallyautistic I don't think everybody needs a formal diagnosis to 'be' #autistic, but it can be empowering to know, like I know I have a legitimate reason to refuse jello, for example (sensory processing disorder; mostly textures and colors, but also volume/brightness).
Please stop with the euphemisms. We know what we are, we don't need it explained to us. It is patronising when people try and define our identity for us.
We've been sent a huge questionnaire from our daughter's psychologist about her childhood and we are meeting with them in a few weeks time for an in depth interview.
There's some suggestion that she may be #autistic and this has played a major role in her troubles over recent years.
I'm suspending judgement because I don't know enough about the subject and Internet research on #autism in adult females isn't particularly helpful. I'm leaving this one to the professionals
This account of a teenager & his family is heartbreaking 💔.
Families raising kids who have violent meltdowns struggle to find support. Kids like this are acutely vulnerable to the influence of anyone who is kind to them & any group in which they find acceptance. For those of us who experience meltdowns, learning to understand & manage our overwhelm & the eruptions it leads to is a lifelong journey. For most of us it’s full of failure & shame. Where & how can we find acceptance & love? How can we learn to be gentle with ourselves?
I think many #autistic folk, especially those of us who grew up undiagnosed & unsupported then raised similarly undx, distressed, overwhelmed & volatile autistic kids while unable to find help, would shudder with recognition at elements of this tragic story.
You’re not walking around consciously choosing what to pick up. You don’t choose. You don’t decide. It sticks like a crumb you accidentally stepped onto. Like cat’s hair. Good luck trying to get rid of it: while cleaning one, you get three more. Sometimes some dry out and fall off. You don’t choose which either.
Phrase here, intonation there, a bit of smile from that one, a funny move from another…
I wonder, if someone who has known you some time ago, meets you again in some years, and then meets some people from the same circles - how long does it take to tell those you’ve been interacting with most during those years by how they’ve grown into you, by spotting in them all those new things you’ve become.
When a mimic is put into a safe environment where it doesn’t have to mimic anymore to survive - what shape does it have?
For some reason, it seems to me, it won’t be neither any established form nor an amorphous blob, but rather some chaotic combination, multidimensional exquisite corpse, of various elements flickering between each and every form it has ever taken or observed
And to demand it to show its true form is to take it out of the safe environment
Tweet shared to the FB group Feral Neurodivergent Raging Meme Posting and now here with you. I’ve been down and this was the first thing that made me laugh today. I hope it makes you laugh too. #actuallyautistic#autism#autistic
Do allistic people really need constant interaction with others? In person? It sounds horrific. I lived with other people for years. Often they want interaction. That's just brutal for the autistic mind isn't it? #Autism#autistic#neurodiverse#lgbtqi#ActuallyAutistic
@autism101@actuallyautistic
Everyday life of a #gifted and #autistic
🙄
My gifted brain: Hey, look, something new, exciting, challenging!! Yay!!!🥳🥳🥳
My autistic brain: Now, wait a sec.... hey, what you're doing??? You know, we can't deal with that?!?!
My gifted brain: Oh, shut up, this is sooo cool!!!💃🎵🎶🎵
My autistic brain: *sigh
Me: thanks guys... *overwhelmed *shutdown
😒😔🤯