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ironhydroxide ,

I wonder how easily one could “discover” search and sext history for those backing this bill… and accidently leaving it where their constituents could see how black that pot actually is.

Good_morning ,

But after it’s passed of course. That’d be the quickest a law was ever annulled.

medicsofanarchy ,
@medicsofanarchy@lemmy.world avatar

Sen. Dusty Deevers just can’t stop thinking about breasts, and yummy penises, and… won’t someone help him? Won’t the legislature pass a law keeping his hands in the open and off his crotch? Anyone, pass a law!

sylver_dragon ,

And for repeat offenders, we can give them life sentences. We’ll call it the “three strokes law”.

ramble81 ,

What happens when they get off?

Lifecoach5000 ,

They put you in front of the bukkake firing squad. No last meal requests because you should be pretty full by the end.

eltimablo ,

Oklahoma is not the entire US, thank you very much.

520 ,

It is a state of the US, and this is just the latest radical conservative measure to get onto legislative debate floors.

MindSkipperBro12 ,

One of 50. Trust me, no one cares about us in Okieland and I don’t blame them.

520 ,

And there are many more states also going down the radical conservative route. This is just the latest thing.

eltimablo ,

And there are just as many, if not more, that are going the other direction in response. Being this reductive is incredibly frustrating.

eltimablo , (edited )

Ok, but the decisions made in Oklahoma don't apply anywhere besides Oklahoma. Suggesting that the whole country is as braindead as the Midwest is, itself, also quite braindead.

Should we shit on the entire EU because gay marriage is illegal in Croatia?

520 ,

Ok, but the decisions made in Oklahoma don't apply anywhere besides Oklahoma.

They care about it in the context of everything else happening, like the abortion bans and the don't say gay laws. Sure, they only apply to their respective states too but that ends up being a big chunk of the US.

Germany is a part of the EU, but you don't hear anyone blaming them for the fact that Croatia still doesn't allow gay marriage.

The EU doesn't run like the US. It is an alliance of countries, not states within a country. The EU cannot pass regulations unless literally all members agree to them

eltimablo ,

Abortion bans

Several US states are actually more lenient than most EU member states when it comes to how late you can terminate a pregnancy. Pennsylvania, for example, allows abortions up to the 23rd week. Ohio allows it up to 21 weeks. Germany, on the other hand, only allows them up to 12 weeks. The fact that Texas only allows them up to six weeks highlights just how significant the differences between states really are.

The EU cannot pass regulations unless literally all members agree to them

But they can still pass legislation that affects only their country, much in the same way US states can pass legislation that only affects one state.

Oklahoma is not the entire US and it's idiotic to insist that one of the least populous states represents the entire country.

kent_eh ,

As has happened many times over the last few decades, the rightwingnuts will throw around a bunch of similar bills with slightly different wording in a bunch of atates to find out which version can survive the inevitable challenges.

jordanlund ,
@jordanlund@lemmy.world avatar

🤔

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/40566369-c240-46e4-bc39-faeef59455da.jpeg

TransplantedSconie , (edited )

Lmao.

Sex dick.

Also, damn Arkansas. You nasty.

ButtCheekOnAStick ,

I’m proud to represent Illinois instead!

dezmd ,
@dezmd@lemmy.world avatar

Florida finally gets a break. Unless the fantasy is involving both Oaklahoma and Arkansas.

vaultdweller013 ,

Arkansas can get a pass given what Tennessee is doing.

gibmiser ,

Sex dick? Really Oklahoma? Are you guys OK?

ChicoSuave ,

They want to ban porn because it might tempt those who desperately want to be one of the straights.

But seriously, that congressman is so scared of being gay that they want everyone else to give up porn so they won’t be challenged by easy dick.

Rivalarrival ,

I’m switching my VPN server to Oklahoma before my next wank.

goferking0 ,

Idk I’m more concerned about Minnesota with tickling

Fosheze ,

It’s the most polite form of sadism dontchaknow.

gibmiser ,

It’s… demented

tigeruppercut ,

Really living up to the shape of the state borders

18_24_61_b_17_17_4 ,
@18_24_61_b_17_17_4@lemmy.world avatar

Hawaii: Hawaiian.

So they’re just walking around with their kink/preference in their faces all day? Sweeeeeeet.

halcyoncmdr ,
@halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world avatar

Only about 21% of the Hawaiian population is actually native Hawaiians.

PopMyCop ,

Wasn’t it recently that we hit the mark where more native Hawaiians were living outside of Hawaii than were on the islands? It’s sad how the way their economy and obviously real estate is set up makes it difficult to live on the islands.

quirzle ,
@quirzle@kbin.social avatar

Those poor, lonely Alaskans.

jordanlund ,
@jordanlund@lemmy.world avatar

I like that of all the states, Hawaii and Utah remain on-brand.

Good_morning ,

It’s almost wholesome in a pornhub sort of way

lookorex ,

Nevada too

captain_aggravated ,
@captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works avatar

The Dakotas sure are a pair.

JoMiran ,
@JoMiran@lemmy.ml avatar

It’s so dry there. They crave moisture.

Catoblepas ,

So lonely they can’t even imagine porn with two human beings in it 😭

Hegar ,
@Hegar@kbin.social avatar

Nudist for Oregon and Sensual Sex for Washington make the PNW seem so wholesome and well adjusted. I wonder what BC is.

VindictiveJudge ,
@VindictiveJudge@lemmy.world avatar

I live in Oregon. You get neo-hippies or neo-Nazis, no in-between.

Buddahriffic ,

Portland sounds both awesome and awful at the same time. Like there was a rebellion during the BLM protests where they took over some city blocks, which is cool. But things were bad enough that they caused a rebellion during the BLM protests where they took over some city blocks, which isn’t very cool.

BarrelAgedBoredom ,

Sex dick. Jk it’s apparently Asian, here’s the link for canada (NSFW obviously)

jordanlund ,
@jordanlund@lemmy.world avatar

“Nova Scotia likes “facesitting”.”

Welp, I won’t be watching Oak Island the same way again…

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Sees people in Indiana search for ‘chubby.’

Looks around.

Yep, that tracks.

JoMiran ,
@JoMiran@lemmy.ml avatar

I’m in Wyoming. There’s only ten of us here. The goth search was mine. The rest didn’t bother with PornHub after I explained that “bear sex” wasn’t going to give them the result they were expecting.

Idaho’s “dildo ride” absolutely tracks. I have been wearing a Bad Dragon cap for weeks (it’s an amazing hat) and it was a ~50 year old woman on the Idaho side of the mountain who recognized the logo.

EDIT: I am not joking. The caps are sick.

bad-dragon.com/products/caps

Laticauda ,

I mean it can get them the result they’re expecting if they use the furry tag.

skulblaka ,
@skulblaka@startrek.website avatar

Damn, that IS a killer hat. Almost tempted to get one myself. But having no other actual affiliation with BD, it would make things super, super awkward once someone actually recognizes the logo.

JoMiran ,
@JoMiran@lemmy.ml avatar

Just smile, wink and walk away. I don’t own any of their proper products but I wasn’t going to pass up on a hat that nice, at that price.

Cracks_InTheWalls ,
@Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works avatar

I am a guy whose proclivities are such that I’m probably never using a Bad Dragon. Still, I need this hat.

JoMiran ,
@JoMiran@lemmy.ml avatar

Same. Got the all black hat though.

Fixbeat ,

Creamy…ew

Zombiepirate ,
@Zombiepirate@lemmy.world avatar

Texans like sausage gravy all over some biscuits.

Assman ,
@Assman@sh.itjust.works avatar

Classic Ohio

Socsa ,

…Smoking?

VaultBoyNewVegas ,

It’s a fetish. Some people enjoy seeing someone smoke while fucking and some people actually enjoy smoke being blown on them.

jordanlund ,
@jordanlund@lemmy.world avatar

Virginia is also a giant tobacco producer.

encyclopediavirginia.org/…/tobacco-in-colonial-vi…

GladiusB ,
@GladiusB@lemmy.world avatar

What the fuck is going on in Tennessee and Ohio?

zero_spelled_with_an_ecks ,

Is the car sex in Arizona because it’s taboo to touch anything on the inside of a car in the summer? Like instead of the thrill of maybe getting caught that exhibitionists get, it’s the danger of accidentally burning yourself on the metal clasp of a seat belt?

agent_flounder ,
@agent_flounder@lemmy.world avatar

Having lived there I will call that “plausible”

Buddahriffic ,

The inside of a car in Arizona is so hot!

BarrelAgedBoredom ,

Lmao @ big ass cop in DC

jballs ,
@jballs@sh.itjust.works avatar

Wtf North Dakota. I refuse to believe there are multiple people up there typing “loud wet sex” into their search bars.

Laticauda ,

Shout out to Colorado. I’m wondering why Ohio’s is “small dick” lol.

frickineh ,

I live in CO and a guy once (well, several times for months) told me I should be a dominatrix, not realizing my disdain was mostly exclusive to him, not men in general, but now I’m thinking I missed out on a lucrative career option. Well dang.

agent_flounder ,
@agent_flounder@lemmy.world avatar

Is it ever too late to cash in on being a dominatrix?

No, I’m asking for real; I have no idea.

EricKHoward ,
@EricKHoward@mastodon.social avatar

@agent_flounder @frickineh I knew someone who made real good money running a dungeon. It was legal because there was no sex involved. Just guys willing to fork over money so they could be abused.

frickineh ,

I’m not actually sure, but I’ll be 40 this year and I’m tired. I think I’d just end up being like, “yeah you were super bad, disobeying me and shit, your punishment is to fold the 4 loads of laundry I haven’t dealt with this week.” Also, there are a lot of things that can be dangerous in the hands of an amateur, and while I’m not opposed to hurting someone who wants it, I wouldn’t feel comfortable until I’d done a lot of training and practice, and ehhhh. I’d rather do other things these days.

Laticauda ,

Considering the popularity of “dommy mommies” I imagine older women are accepted in those circles.

bmsok ,

I respect you, North Dakota

captainlezbian ,

You know what, New Mexico, not gonna tease you, you’ve got a high native population and it probably does suck rarely seeing folks that look like you in porn. Same for you Hawaii.

Actually I feel like in a less sympathetic way Indiana gets the same treatment.

Buddahriffic ,

What about Ohio?

captainlezbian ,

I can’t speak on Ohio. Most of the women I’ve slept with here that had one had a big one.

captainlezbian ,

Actually looking at their other stats are shocking. Like I’m actually really surprised with how much lesbian content blows other searches out of the water women are significantly more likely to search it than men. Same for trans porn.

Also props to milfs for being the number 2 search term. Mom bods really are having their day

Artyom ,

Relevant xkcd

JoMomma ,

Oklahoma is a garbage pot

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Cool. Let’s see the legislature’s browser histories.

kryptonianCodeMonkey , (edited )

Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson, loves talking about his creepy spy app he and his son have on their phone that alerts the other if they visit naughty sites. So the writers of this proposal and all that vote for it would be happy to put the same program on their devices and computers, right? And tie that straight to a public feed we can all see? Great Great.

Lmaydev ,

See when I read this story it isn’t really that bad.

They believe porn is bad and use the app to keep each other accountable. I don’t really have an issue with that. You do you.

But when they start trying to enforce that view through the government it’s obviously not okay.

kryptonianCodeMonkey , (edited )

I don’t have a problem with their abstaining from porn, having personal feelings about its value or morality, or even using each other to remain accountable. I do think it’s a little dumb to put spyware on your device intentionally and to share with your child when you accidentally fall to temptation exactly what sort of smut you enjoyed. But that’s all them. Not my problem.

As you said the problem is when you’re legislating to restrict others from something you have a personal issue with, particularly when that thing is completely personal. So if they’re going to butt their way into the personal habits or desires of the general public, surely they have no problem sharing their own habits and desires with the public in return. And, in real time. I want to see what senators are jerking it to on their potty break during session.

AlternatePersonMan ,

Aside from it being creepy as hell to do that with your son (who probably didn’t have a say in the matter) this is a massive national security risk. Spyware on a Congress member’s phone? Not a great idea.

meco03211 ,

I’m imagining they have government issued phones and private phones. The government issued one for sure wouldn’t be allowed to have that shit on it.

GTKashi ,

That sounds reasonable and so it’s probably not even remotely close to what actually happens.

TheDoozer ,

The craziest thing about the Hillary Clinton private email server was not that she had it, but that her predecessors also used private email for government stuff as Secretary of State. Not a one-off, but the norm. Absolutely nuts.

Lmaydev ,

I severely doubt they can install it on government equipment.

meco03211 ,

Can you imagine that IT request?

“In having trouble installing this app on my phone. It’s so my phone can be remotely monitored to make sure I’m not looking at porn.”

“Could you just not try to look at porn on that phone?”

captainlezbian ,

“Sir, you have a federal government IT department. Which federal agency do you want to tell your family if you watch porn? Don’t worry they already monitor your personal devices too.”

Serinus ,

Do you think Congress has the digital literacy and self discipline to keep separate phones and actually keep business separate between them?

Wasn’t it just recently that a congressman was found hoarding gold bars? What phone do you think he negotiated those from?

jaybone ,

“Putin needs to make sure I’m not watching gay porn.”

Socsa ,

Sure, you do you, but it’s still fucking weird.

Lmaydev ,

Most people are weird.

hitmyspot ,

Yes but there are varying degrees. This is way out there.

hitmyspot ,

I don’t have a problem between 2 consenting adults but monitoring a parent is creepy and weird. It’s likely a case of him trying to set an example and prove he too is compliant, to his son, but it’s just weird.

meco03211 ,

Just watched the Duggar documentary. This is shit they “voluntarily” do. If you don’t, you’ll likely suffer the ire of the elders and people in power.

frickineh ,

And, as we learned from that same documentary, it’s pretty easy to get around it. If that homeschooled sicko Josh can figure out how to partition his devices, I’m guessing plenty of others have figured it out, too.

surewhynotlem ,

It’s creepy because it’s his son, and he clearly is only doing it to control his kid.

You think the dad doesn’t have a second device that’s dedicated to wanking?

deadbeef79000 ,

How dare you demand him by suggesting he has a masturbation phone.

It’s a Grindr phone…

Which only feeds his toxicity as no one on Grindr wants anything to do with this PoS.

KISSmyOS ,

pubic feed

hehe

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

Oops, a Freudian Giant Cock In My Ass. Slip.

_dev_null ,
@_dev_null@lemmy.zxcvn.xyz avatar

creepy spy app

The only thing that spy app is making them do, is hiding a second phone from everyone. Guarantee it.

xhieron ,
@xhieron@lemmy.world avatar

My money says this guy can’t even close his closet door anymore for all the skeletons.

KISSmyOS ,

He’s in there with them.

RIPandTERROR ,
@RIPandTERROR@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Getting boned

homesweethomeMrL ,

Hi-oooooooo

JustZ , (edited )

Mr. Skelington? What are you doing to my dad?

fine_sandy_bottom ,

That’s why this will never pass.

It’s just virtue signalling from whoever is introducing it.

Custoslibera ,

They’ll be exempt, obviously.

ryan213 ,
@ryan213@lemmy.ca avatar

Let’s take bets on who’s getting caught first! Drag queens or some god-fearing dude??

Alto ,
@Alto@kbin.social avatar

Don't pretend for a second itll actually be enforced against the in group

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