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neuracnu , in "Hey Google, Turn my balls off"
@neuracnu@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Hang on one second babe…

(clap-clap)

peopleproblems ,

Things you don’t want tied to a clapper may include this device.

ArcaneSlime ,

Go to a play

“Fuck was that even or odd?! I’ve been workin’ on this date since dinner!”

helpImTrappedOnline , in Loyalty

Some board room somewhere

Bossman "Alright team, what should we change to ensure our company is not seen as racist according to white people on twitter?

Person 1 “Increase represtation of different races and cultures across our brands?” ejector seat activated

Person 2 “Hire someone qualified to have this conversion?” ejector seat activated

Person 3 "Get rid of Aunt Jemima so people don’t accosiate our brand with black people anymore?

Bossman “brilliant! Someone get me a raise for coming up with that.”

the_crotch ,

It’s not about associating the brand with black people. Aunt Jemima was a mammy, straight out of a ministrel show. She was a racist stereotype of the loving and attentive house slave

helpImTrappedOnline ,

They could have come up with a new character…instead they got rid of it all together. Just say its Jemima’s niece who carries on the recipe.

borari ,

Bro my syrup doesn’t need lore.

helpImTrappedOnline ,

Why not? my cereal does.

elephantium ,
@elephantium@lemmy.world avatar

You’re a monster if you’re putting syrup on cereal!

helpImTrappedOnline ,

Darrn…I guess that means I’m not a monster.

HawlSera ,

Fuck that shit, I’m all about the Breakfast Canon

Cryophilia ,

No, she was an accurate depiction of actual Black Southern grandmas, both pre and post slavery. The whole “this represents slavery” thing was bullshit cooked up by white people. My 3rd grade teacher looked EXACTLY like Aunt Jemima and she made some bomb-ass cookies.

SnokenKeekaGuard OP , in Sitting and shitting on my high horse
@SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Ask no questions regarding the floor mirror

MHanak ,

Why is there a mirror on the floor???

mojofrododojo ,

and why doesn’t it reflect the objects above it?

huh.

RizzRustbolt , in Eat it
Axiochus ,
RazzleDazzle , in Real

Survivorship bias

PmMeFrogMemes , in What a treat

I agree with the sentiment but that is aggravatingly fake

Track_Shovel OP ,

Boss makes a grand
I make a buck
That’s why I steal
The converter of the company truck

lolrightythen ,

You’ll go platinum with that beat

Track_Shovel OP ,

True, but there is platinum in the converter

AlligatorBlizzard ,

Yeah, how did management get approval to requisition that off the sales floor? The big box retail store would never be allowed to do something like this. I mean, they were giving out ten cent raises a few months ago.

Timecircleline ,

Maybe the lower management who barely make anything more than minimum wage bought it out of their own pocket

stebo02 ,
@stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

that is aggravatingly fake

based off?

stoicmaverick , in The longer you look, the worse it gets

I think it would break something irreparable in my brain if a really attractive 30-something year old woman in a sharp business suit stepped out of that car.

Num10ck ,

what if a wasted justin timberlake did?

stoicmaverick ,

I’d call the cops. Nobody is above the law.

spujb ,

it would ruin the tour

joshoff ,

Give him the ol’ “woop woop” and a wink

atmur , in It's okay, Buddy

I want to give ogre a hug

flicker ,

I’m so sympathetic to this ogre.

demizerone , in Stay Mad, Tankies

I’m voting for the man with one foot in the coffin that is not trump, but it doesn’t matter because I don’t live in a swing state.

GiddyGap ,

it doesn’t matter because I don’t live in a swing state.

Not true. It absolutely does matter.

Zink ,

+1 TO BIDEN POPULAR VOTES = +1 TO TRUMP TEARS 💦

Share if you believe! 🙏

Corkyskog ,

I don’t, I firmly disbelieve. Trump will only care if you’re in a purple state that he tracks the metrics on. He is too dumb to see or care about other stats.

Zink ,

Yeah you’re right, unfortunately.

PythagreousTitties ,

This is embarrassing

Zink ,

It is if you take it seriously rather than as a parody of the modern version of FWD:FWD:Re:FWD:.

UraniumBlazer , in Stay Mad, Tankies

But NOOOOO both sides both sides lalalaa can’t hear you both sides lalalaa /s

blazera ,
@blazera@lemmy.world avatar

goes onto a post about not listening to anyone and still voting biden

accuses any opposition of not listening to anyone

Hypocrite

UraniumBlazer ,

Biden = old, senile liberal alright with a little bit of genocide.

Trump = Hitler


I wonder what the right choice is here… /s

ShitOnABrick , (edited )
@ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world avatar

I’m sure the tragic mass genocide of the polish people, the Jewish people, the mentally handicapped, the mentally ill, The romani and much much more (it’s genuinely depressing). Is very much comparable to the deportation of illegal immigrants. To an semi well off 2nd world country.

And to answer your question. no I’m not a republican (conservative) nor am I a democrat (labour ).I wouldn’t vote for dementia man nor would I vote for orange man in a billion years.

Let me lay brass tax here’s what I believe in. I would like for better civil liberties , Human rights that applies to everyone equally regardless of your politics gender race country or creed (natural rights) , first admendment rights, Castle doctrine. A free market, and property rights. I could go on but I’ll be here all day.

lemm.ee/comment/12909412

roguetrick ,

One thing I have no doubt about is you could go on and on without having a relevant point.

zarkanian ,
@zarkanian@sh.itjust.works avatar

Let me lay brass tax here’s what I believe in.

A brass tax? I don’t think that would help.

blazera ,
@blazera@lemmy.world avatar

Biden = old, senile liberal alright with a little bit of genocide.

Are…are you agreeing Biden is awful?

UraniumBlazer ,

Correct. Although I’m saying that Biden is less awful than his alternative.

blazera ,
@blazera@lemmy.world avatar

No, you cant have typed out that obvious sarcasm and seriously meant it. A little bit of genocide? Thats how you’re describing someone you’re voting for?

frightful_hobgoblin , in Just... a little...... farther

what a good little bit of art

davidagain ,

Exactly. Very well done indeed. It has a simple beauty.

sxan , in Life pro tip: Maybe give her some pointers if it's her first blow job.
@sxan@midwest.social avatar

I have never, ever, understood the appeal of virginity. Who prefers someone who is uncomfortable, awkward, and doesn’t have any experience?

This has always baffled me. This is one reason why I think sex workers should hold a high status in society: they provide an valuable service in training the uninitiated and unskilled. It’s like taking tennis lessons, and all your future partners should be grateful for their lessons.

gibmiser ,

Virgins don’t know that you suck at sex. It’s an insecurity thing. Most people don’t realize it.

peopleproblems ,

And then there’s me. Who has been with one woman, who was actually appalled by the whole attachment thing, but controlled so much of my life that I became permanently awkward, uncomfortable AND stuck with super low self esteem.

I don’t know if I suck at sex, or just suck in general. If I survive this divorce I’ll take that win right now.

Croquette ,

For whatever reason, we make sex weird. Communicate with your future partners and it will be a lot more enjoyable for both of you.

You got this.

GBU_28 ,

Disclaimer: I am not holding or promoting the following.

But the meme is “if you’re gonna eat a sandwich, you’d like it better if someone hadn’t fucked it first”

I think the core of the meme revolves around possession. Seeing the “sandwich” as something to attain, and possess, and consume. Indeed, I would not like someone to fuck my lunch. But a person has an independent life where their value is certainly not graded in such a way. ( Or any way, in this context)

If you are obsessed with taking something pure, and only having your influence on it, for all time, then the virgin thing matters.

menemen ,
@menemen@lemmy.world avatar

You are obviously not a germophobe.

Duke_Nukem_1990 ,

What do the germans have to do with it?

MindTraveller ,

I want to stay a virgin because I don’t like sex. If I wasn’t a virgin, it would mean something very bad had happened to me.

sxan ,
@sxan@midwest.social avatar

That’s not how I meant it.

There’s a cultural value in virginity in girls. It’s pretty common across cultures: for marriage, virgin women are more desirable than non-virgins. It’s biased; the virginity only increases value for girls, and it probably stems from men wanting to be sure than any prodigy are actually theirs. Women can be nearly 100% sure a kid they have is theirs (not quite 100%, as there’s a brief period when a channeling swap could conceivably be made), but the men can never be certain. The best odds you have is to get yourself a virgin. So female virginity has been valued through history (by men), and I think this is where the fetish of having sex with virgins comes from.

That’s what I’m taking about. I’ve never understood the appeal of “being a girl’s/boy’s first.”

Skyrkazm ,

Worst case scenario, you lose your chance at wizardry at the age of 30. Keep it at all costs friend.

The magic missile and fireballs are well worth it. Especially the spell “mend buttcrack”.

match ,
@match@pawb.social avatar

Mend Buttcrack is amazing if you’re going for a no-poop run

WarmSoda , in Looks like paradise

Delivery note:

Just leave it by the tree.

CatZoomies , in Simpler times rule
@CatZoomies@lemmy.world avatar

The simpler times for sure. Who are these handsome young men? I love the smiles on their faces. It looks like they’re up to no good, the little rascals! 😇

ace_garp ,
@ace_garp@lemmy.world avatar

Not a cell phone in sight…

citrusface , in better part of valor

What is this Facebook malarkey

UnderpantsWeevil ,
@UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world avatar

You’d think this guy would have an easier time lifting his girlfriend with all those extra fingers

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