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Waluigi , in Dark universe King Of The Hill

He has his HAND on the GRILL. This really is the dark universe

Catoblepas ,

Meats in deranged shapes, onions that may or may not be on a stick, a nonsensical belt buckle, inconsistent finger numbers, charcoal phasing through the grill grates, lady in the background missing a hand… oh yeah baby, that’s AI!

NoIWontPickaName ,

Everyone knows you’re supposed to tie the onion to your belt

deadbeef79000 ,

It was the fashion at the time.

Bonehead ,

You forgot the biggest give away. Everyone is thin and fit.

9point6 ,

That boy ain’t right

Dudewitbow ,

probably hot and cold side grilling. albeit still shouldnt have hand there, the side of the grill should be colder than the other side.

Kyrgizion , in Disgustang

Ladpoles? Oh my.

HowManyNimons ,

How to unrealise?

Wizard_Pope ,
@Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world avatar

Was just about to comment that I don’t get it when it dawned on me. Yeeesh

archonet ,

that’s a new one for the dictionary

GombeenSysadmin , in Brought to you by the vertical mouse gang

As an IT support person, the problem I have with these mice is that the left mouse button is also on the vertical. So when heavy-handed users click on a file in explorer, they also slightly drag down, so the file “disappears” into a folder, and now it’s a support ticket to get the file restored.

Sigh.

reagansrottencorpse ,

I feel sick to my stomach thinking back to my IT help desk days.

Smoogs ,

I was remembering just now I used to have one but I gave up on it almost immediately after using irl Thanks for reminding me why I quickly moved on from vertical mouse.

turbowafflz , in $5 is a steal

This could actually be very useful. For example if your controller is completely covered in some sort of industrial lubricant that tape won’t stick to, then you can pay this guy and he’ll have to clean it so he can tape it. Now you have a clean controllet

tubaruco ,

what did you do to the controllers

turbowafflz ,

Industry

Viking_Hippie ,

You can’t stand in the way of progress!

ares35 ,
@ares35@kbin.social avatar

he uses dollar store electrical tape that leaves even more gunk behind than what you started with.

Peekystar ,
@Peekystar@kbin.social avatar

Could also be useful because he claims to tape all your controllers. So if you've lost some, call up this guy and he'll locate every controller in your house to bring them all together in a taped mass.

thanks_shakey_snake ,

Or if they’re distributed around the continent and you want them all together. Cheap multi-origin shipping, hell yeah.

degen ,

We’ll bring down Amazon! The hero we all need

betterdeadthanreddit ,

Glue a controller to each dragonball and call this guy when you need a new wish.

Windex007 , in Open your eyes, people.

You’re only scratching the surface, it goes so much deeper than that

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/a042c95d-e21c-45b1-b28a-e4d042683536.jpeg

Fermion ,

Wouldn’t you swap the cat and mouse toy positions? You manipulate the mouse toy to in turn manipulate your cat.

Windex007 ,

No my cat dominates that toy regardless of what I’m doing

variants ,

Cat should really be above you

OpenStars ,
@OpenStars@startrek.website avatar

Bold of you to think that it is you that is manipulating your cat, instead of the other way around:-D.

Fermion ,

So would it go Media -> cat -> toy -> you?

OpenStars ,
@OpenStars@startrek.website avatar

Hrm, that is how I pictured it, but now that we are examining the situation more deeply, perhaps it might go Cat -> Media -> Toy -> You? :-P

variants ,

I think we’ll give you some credit and move toy to the bottom

OpenStars ,
@OpenStars@startrek.website avatar

Oh, whoops - but I’m not going to edit that, just leave that little gem in there to find, when aliens discover the earth millennia from now and ask themselves “what were ancient humans like, on this in-ter-net thingie?”:-P.

dalekcaan ,

I hate how the libruhl media keeps trying to brainwash my cat >:(

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA ,
@HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world avatar

Media -> cat -> you -> that one pesky bird -> comrade worm

kewwwi OP , in play stupid games

I’ll be the first to mention “yeast infection” too. now you don’t have to.

bruhduh , in For context, texas is a state roughly the size of texas
@bruhduh@lemmy.world avatar

Anything but metric

SlopppyEngineer ,

But metric can still be applied. Hear me out.

So a yard is roughly one meter. It means a kilo-yard is about one kilometer and a centi-yard is one centimeter. How many miles or inches that is, is a conversion problem within the imperial system.

In the same way, a quart is about one liter. Milli-quart is about one milliliters. Easy. How many gills those are is not our problem.

There is no immediate equivalent for weight, although a double-pound would be roughly one kilogram.

YoorWeb ,
rockerface ,

It’s almost like Imperial system units have all been borrowed from different measurement systems that should have nothing to do with each other. Tho I could get behind 12 inches in a foot, that seems nice to divide

Phil_in_here ,

An asteroid the size of 5000 9mm rounds weighing as much as 4000 kilos of seized cocaine

aksdb ,

Finally a measurement I can relate to.

CertifiedBlackGuy ,

I can’t. I need it in 7.62 NATO

Kolanaki , in idk how to title this
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

I don’t think any of those girls have the lack of self respect that would lead them to sleeping with Andrew Tate.

JackRiddle ,

They can fix him tho…

IndiBrony ,
@IndiBrony@lemmy.world avatar

If “fix him” means tearing out his scrotum then I’m all for it!

kindenough , in Americans will measure with anything but the metric system.
@kindenough@kbin.social avatar

Americans

"I will put a foot up your ass!"

Europeans

"???"

Ephera ,

“I will put 12 inch up your ass!”

willis936 ,

304.8 mm

ShaggySnacks ,

That comment can mean something completely different…

Ephera ,

Yep. 🙃

niktemadur , in life hacks

Ok, somebody’s gotta say it and it’s gonna be me:

Yo dawg, we put a shower in your shower so you can shower while you shower.

OpenStars ,
@OpenStars@startrek.website avatar
usualsuspect191 ,

How’d you solve the last 25%?

Rubanski ,

Sounds like a “Achilles and the tortoise” problem

kender242 ,
@kender242@lemmy.world avatar

Zeno’s pair-a-books!

yetAnotherUser ,

If you have finitely many problems, after purchasing finitely many copies, there should only be one problem left. If this problem isn’t solved with another copy, you’re out of luck and have to come up with the solution yourself.

If you have infinitely many problems then you shouldn’t complain, for you’ll solve infinitely many problems per copy.

OpenStars ,
@OpenStars@startrek.website avatar

You missed an opportunity to phrase that as how you may have 99 problems, but the last one is still there :-).

Template for future use: [insert popular phrase] (best if improperly applied, claiming it is for “ironic” purposes), then [follow up with cat picture].

niktemadur ,

So it’s like Bitcoin mining, then, halving each time.

OpenStars ,
@OpenStars@startrek.website avatar

Recursion.

I uh… might have forgotten the terminal condition, so feel free to report me for violating Rule 2 of this community - breaking the law! (of good sense):-P

Ross_audio ,

I bought n books and I only have 100/2^^n problems left.

Empricorn ,

Thank you for your service. I wasn’t going to leave that un-posted, believe!

rockSlayer , in Call me an idiot, but I would die laughing even if something like this happened to me

Just a tip, if you’re ever caught in a situation like this, don’t chase after or cling to your car, and get the fuck out of the street.

Mamertine ,

Ugh, in the news here a few years ago, they showed a video of a lady jumping out of her car so she wouldn’t be in it when it slid into another car. The news anchor advised people to stay inside of your car. It’s a cage. You’re safer inside that cage than lying in the road.

rockSlayer ,

I feel like people forget that the conditions are like that for everyone and not just themselves, so they think it’s ok to mill around the scene while waiting for emergency services. It’s a terrible idea to do so, and it’s absolutely safer in the car. If for one reason or another you have to exit the vehicle, get far away from the scene; like at least across the ditch or far into someone’s lawn

RegalPotoo ,
@RegalPotoo@lemmy.world avatar

Being in the car for a low speed collision wouldn’t be fun, but it’s better than being a bonus target in the middle of a game of car billiards

Seraph , in Shitty railing
@Seraph@kbin.social avatar

This is the sort of thing he noticed but ignored, the poorly connected railing, and after this fall is recalling how yesterday's lack of proactiveness is biting him in the ass today.

Or maybe I'm projecting as that's definitely something I'd do.

whostosay ,

I think we all do it in different places of our lives.

Rocketpoweredgorilla ,
@Rocketpoweredgorilla@lemmy.ca avatar

That was me this morning. I knew my house has an issue with pipes freezing, I knew it was going down to -30c (-22f) with a -40 windchill last night here, yet for some boneheaded reason I never bothered to put a space heater in the area where the pipes freeze.

So I got to swear at myself this morning for a half hour while I was running around with a propane torch in my basement to thaw the lines out so I could flush the toilet and make coffee.

One good thing with being an idiot is you get to learn how to fix things at least, so there’s that…

MedicPigBabySaver ,

So, you didn’t even have the faucet doing a drip?

Rocketpoweredgorilla ,
@Rocketpoweredgorilla@lemmy.ca avatar

Nope. It was business as usual, until it wasn’t.

MedicPigBabySaver ,

Silly donkey.

Rocketpoweredgorilla ,
@Rocketpoweredgorilla@lemmy.ca avatar

Worst part is it’s easy to toss a heater in that spot the pipes like to freeze, there’s a plug 2 feet away.

I just like to tempt the gods I guess…

key , in Shitty railing

Looks like icy conditions, he needs to switch over to his winter feet.

BeMoreCareful ,

Got shorts on and barefoot. Probably left the damn door open.

Neil ,
@Neil@lemmy.ml avatar

Us bigger fellas take a while to feel the effects of cold weather.

chiliedogg ,

Dude, I’m massive, but my skin is still on the outside.

It’s less-dangerous for me to be in the cold, but I definitely feel it.

Everythingispenguins ,

Well Dude that is the problem. Just take that skin and put it on the inside. It will take a lot longer to get cold

OttoVonNoob , (edited ) in IT support work be like

Fun story, I worked IT for an American Telecom company. One day I recieved a phone call from a guy who was setting up his router. We were maybe five minutes into troubleshooting. He asks if he can eat his dinner while we troubleshoot and I say “no worries”. Within thirty seconds, I hear a bang and panicd screaming. He informs me he dumped soy sauce and rice all over his router and work space. I sent a field tech to replace the router and set it up.

Edit: This comic is the norm not the unusual…

Twelve20two ,

Were you talking to Frank Reynolds?

SocialMediaRefugee ,

I hope they installed the waterproof version

promitheas , in NASA has some explaining to do
@promitheas@iusearchlinux.fyi avatar

God: All knowing and all powerful But wait, satellites, oh no!

Bulletproof logic

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