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lemmyshitpost

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hDGGgrLpg8nEucjxWnJz , in You were dumb too

Is this loss?

arin , in Incident in nature

Passed the sniff test

wreckedcarzz ,
@wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world avatar

lemmyshitpost

Uhhh not sure that is the usual check…

tacosanonymous , in Party with the sea queen

When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a magikarp on her face you get sprung.

Dasnap , in These body standards are out of hand
@Dasnap@lemmy.world avatar

“My arms are too long.”

forrgott ,

“I don’t know why, bit the arms are always hard.”

MermaidsGarden ,
@MermaidsGarden@lemmy.world avatar

Then I have a problem with the jawwwwwwww

MyFairJulia ,
@MyFairJulia@lemmy.world avatar

How many knees?

Krauerking ,

How many knees am I supposed to have?

qooqie , in keep going lads!

It’s a fucking horror movie trying to run from something like that

RockAndGnome OP ,
@RockAndGnome@lemmy.world avatar

*Halloween music gets more intense

JoMiran ,
@JoMiran@lemmy.ml avatar

It Follows

Good movie.

GBU_28 ,

The snail is terrifying.

You get lots of wealth, but a magic snail is trying to find you. If it touches you, you die.

You cannot track or kill or permanently trap it, it is constant moving towards you.

Something like that

JoeBigelow ,
@JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca avatar

Decoy snails too

funkless_eck ,

Snail takes a 1.3 days to crawl a mile, 280 miles a year. With a huge amount of wealth you can just move to the otherside of the country or ocean every 6 or 7 years.

GBU_28 ,

The snail is intelligent and understands transportation.

Still take the deal?

Rolder ,

Launch that sumbitch into space.

GBU_28 ,

He jumps out of the rocket, is now floating in orbit. Still aware of your location.

You now have a killer snail traveling at ~20000mph over your head.

pinkdrunkenelephants ,

How? It’s a snail. It can’t actually do anything because its body is not suited for doing anything.

🤔 Perhaps it knows this, and the only way it can die and be free of its flesh prison is by touching you. In which case, that’s sad.

can ,

Can it buy a plane ticket though?

GBU_28 ,

It can crawl up into the plane

Khrux ,

It can just stay where it is for 7 years and then get you when you travel back, or at least to that part of the world.

Zehzin ,
@Zehzin@lemmy.world avatar

I can’t permanently trap it, so I can put it in a safe that opens after like 1000 years?

GBU_28 ,

It has magic slime, when trapped it starts melting through whatever material. You are not aware of how long this takes.

Zehzin ,
@Zehzin@lemmy.world avatar

I can hire people to tell me when the safe has melted 🤔

GBU_28 ,

Yep. You have to trust them too.

PM_Your_Nudes_Please ,

Sort of. It’s just “it is also as intelligent as you are, immortal, and does everything in its power to reach you. If it touches you, you die.”

Ironically, letting it out of your sight is the worst thing you can do. Because once you lose sight of it, you’ll think you’re safe… Until some random Tuesday night at 3AM, it crawls into your bed and kills you in your sleep. You don’t want to just turn tail and run. You want to keep an eye on it, so you know where it is at all times. Pay a friend (or even two friends) to collect it in a secure container like a fireproof (airtight) safe, and watch it while you sleep.

Next, you want to start working on a more secure container. After all, you’re in it for the long haul. You want something that won’t corrode over time, has no easy openings, and will be difficult for someone to (either accidentally or intentionally) crack open. Concrete is a decent choice for a core, just for its massive compressive strength. It won’t easily crush. But it WILL degrade over time, so you’ll need something else to protect it. Tungsten would be a good choice, but it’s expensive. So maybe keep the snail encased in concrete, (checking it every few days to ensure it’s still structurally sound) while you wait a few centuries for your wealth to grow. After all, you have time.

Once you have enough money, encase that shit in tungsten. You want this shit to be impermeable and permanent, so don’t skimp. At that point, you can probably let your guard down a little bit. Only check on it every year or two, at most. Maybe keep it in an empty room with quadruple motion sensor alarms, to detect if the snail manages to escape. After all, this is the future and I’m sure the tech exists (if the rest of the humans haven’t bombed themselves into oblivion yet.)

We could go farther, and assume humans are spacefaring at this point. Do you consider trying to launch it into the sun? Into a black hole? You could simply yeet it as far away from yourself as possible. But then you’re getting rid of the only thing that can actually kill you, which you may end up regretting eventually. After all, if you’re the only thing left after the heat death of the universe, you’ll probably be wishing you had kept that snail a little closer to home.

GBU_28 ,

I had heard it said that it can’t actually be destroyed, and if trapped would WOULD get out eventually. Like via its magic means, not the millennias of deterioration for the concrete to crumble

pinkdrunkenelephants ,

I don’t know; in a scenario like that, it might just be better to keep it in a tank made of bulletproof glass so you can keep it as a pet. It’s still just a goddamn snail. It can’t actually do anything to break anything.

Maybe yeet that bitch out into deep space if it’s that much of an issue. Not too far away; just between stars. You might not be able to track the snail, but you could track the ship it’s in, so you’d always know where to find it.

That way when you do want to die, you can just go retrieve it.

Or just like, freeze it. Liquid nitrogen is pretty cheap.

Jeanschyso ,

Enough wealth to send a snail to space?

GBU_28 ,

All you did is accelerate the snail to orbital speed. It’s gonna find a way to return to earth

Jeanschyso ,

The plan is to send it into the sun

GBU_28 ,

You just made a flaming hot Cheeto seeking vengeance

Notyou ,

youtu.be/9VDvgL58h_Y?si=HPxgbBOFF0Subzti

Something like this? I remember this one from a longtime ago. He just never stops coming after the victim.

Sheeple , in Angry bald man
@Sheeple@lemmy.world avatar

I’ll never understand Tate fans

ExLisper ,

They are 13 and/or stupid. How about now?

sour ,
@sour@kbin.social avatar

am never understand entire tate category

nul , in The truth some of y'all need to hear

I wish this was true. I forgot my wallet while buying dinner the other day and now I owe my newborn baby 20 bucks.

photonic_sorcerer ,
@photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Take advatage of their inability to form long-term memories and never pay it back.

valkyre09 ,
KISSmyOS , in Microchips
ZeroCool OP ,
KISSmyOS ,

I think he’s more of a “Kraft Singles” kinda guy.

pufferfischerpulver ,

Er sieht auf jeden Fall wie ein “kräftiger” Single aus…

Iron_Lynx ,

Ik ga er niet om liegen, ik had niet gerekend op een Duitse reactie op de vorige opmerking xD

KISSmyOS ,

Ich bin nicht überrascht von einem niederländischen Kommentar in einem Faden über Käse.

Dkarma ,

Yeah but the ones u get from a dollar store

KISSmyOS ,

Fun fact: Kraft used to label the product as “Pasteurized Processed Cheese Food” until the FDA slapped them with a warning cause they didn’t meat the quality requirements for that label.

gareppa ,
@gareppa@programming.dev avatar

deleted_by_author

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  • HerbalGamer ,
    @HerbalGamer@sh.itjust.works avatar

    Big PARMA

    banneryear1868 , in Anon does a little trolling

    It’s funnier how this didn’t happen but is funny to them to imagine it did

    hahattpro , in hypocrite.

    If a fish die of plastic, you probably eat plastic while eating fish

    BirdyBoogleBop ,

    Don’t think there is any probably anymore. You are eating plastic no matter what.

    Kolanaki ,
    @Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

    Might as well leave the cheese singles wrapped 🤷🏻‍♂️

    Kase ,

    Wait, you guys have been unwrapping them?

    altima_neo ,
    @altima_neo@lemmy.zip avatar

    Then we die of plastic

    TootSweet , in Could we not bring that to Lemmy, please?

    Stay with me here.

    /c/pornporn, but it’s SFW.

    thorbot ,

    You lost me

    Poem_for_your_sprog , in We're going in the wrong direction

    Especially with no volume knob on desktop. What in the actual fuck?

    Patches ,

    If you have access to a Desktop. Why would you ever be on TikTok?

    kd45 ,

    deleted_by_author

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  • Poem_for_your_sprog ,

    Referring more to YouTube shorts before I disabled them.

    fmstrat ,

    If you have access to a Desktop. Why would you ever be on TikTok?

    257m ,

    If you have access to a Desktop. Why would you eve be on TikTok?

    creditCrazy ,
    @creditCrazy@lemmy.world avatar

    As someone with a physical volume nob on all my speakers … what

    cyborganism , in Very few people realise how environmentally devastating this game is.

    Not just that, but I found a few golf courses in my city where natural habitats used to be. These place could have easily been changed into nature parks for the local residents to go wind down a bit, but noooOOOooo. Some rich assholes had to buy the land and destroy the ecosystem so they could whack a ball around some fucking grass into a little hole.

    Tangent5280 ,

    Would there be a difference to the sport if a part of the land was just left natural? I expect it would make the sport more interesting, atleast to the spectators.

    cyborganism ,

    It was invented in Scotland. Where there’s grass everywhere and almost no trees. Why not just play in natural landscapes that are suited for the game?

    InfiniWheel , in If you look closely, you'll notice he doesn't treat people well.

    I know the most likely answer is just that they’ve never seen the movie at full, but I truly don’t get what people see in Bateman. Man’s pathetic. He has a mental breakdown because of presentation cards, kills a random man and his dog because he was made to look bad in front of his circle and couldn’t retort back, his monologues read like an edgy 13 year old trying to sound cool and badass, he solely puts sex and violence on TV and barely looks at it even, spends all day playing around in his office instead of working and constantly speaks in an incredibly obvious fake pretentious voice.

    Even in his killer side, he constantly trips over himself and panics every time the detective questions him, he craves approval even from his victims and much much more.

    He’s so lame its funny how so many people see him as this weird superior sigma chad when he’s anything but.

    SkyeStarfall ,

    I feel like many people simply struggle with media literacy. As in, reading between the lines. They see the surface level cool guy and leave it at that, no further analysis.

    Khrux ,

    Yeah the answer is basically in the comment, his monologues read like an edgy 13 year old trying to sound cool and badass. It’s probably 90% edgy 13 year olds who made content that adores him, and the remaining 10% are older people who haven’t developed the skills to see further than that.

    I do think a huge overlooked part are the people who use the memes ironically too. When they first started popping up, even when they weren’t self aware, I was happy to see memes made from outside the current zeitgeist and from a film I liked so I generally showed them my support. Now a meme of it can be made that’s totally without irony and I recognise it as part of the format more than someone who is oblivious about the film.

    pinkdrunkenelephants ,

    IIRC he’s supposed to be a satire of stockbrokers from the 80’s.

    InfiniWheel ,

    Oh yeah, I get its on purpose and I enjoyed the movie a lot. Its just so perplexing to see so many people consider him to be this cool smooth dude when he’s meant to be so lame. He can’t even talk back to his coworkers insulting him in his face, come on.

    pinkdrunkenelephants ,

    It’s because the people who support him are the dumb, ignorant, selfish bullies who wish they had the guts to be a serial killer like him.

    They try to absorb power from wherever they go and in him they see power because he kills with few repercussions. It’s sad to see, really.

    Amir ,
    @Amir@lemmy.ml avatar

    People either identify with the irritations Bateman has, or like the movie for its commentary on society and therefore choose Bateman as a symbol of the entire movie.

    For the first group, some really want to be able to say “fuck off” more often but aren’t able to because of society. They feel like they’re close to snapping and seeing someone else act out their shameful desires brings them a lot of enjoyment.

    For the second group, they are mostly ironically (sometimes post-ironically) fanboying Bateman. They might think that by drawing attention to the ridiculousness of him getting away with his actions, they are providing commentary on the state of society. In a sense, they’d be calling Christian Bale’s acting “based” because of how realistic it is.

    Pregnenolone ,

    A lot of them are 13 year olds that idolize Bateman. It’s relatable to them.

    steeznson ,

    Bateman is also an extremely metrosexual character.

    I heard a radio interview from the author Ellis where he said he’d written American Psycho after getting an unexpected windfall from his first book at a young age. Part of the book is based on his experiences as a closeted gay man in that era of Manhatten.

    byroon ,

    Rich and good looking

    MindSkipperBro12 ,

    Perhaps people love a man that they can relate to🤷

    afraid_of_zombies ,

    He really does capture what it is like being one of those Wall Street types. Everything from Daddy getting him the job, his total lack of technical and soft skills, his lack of distinct self, and not even the basic virtue of hard work. An entire civilization resources going to maintaining the image of a small select group who statistically would perform better if they didn’t show up tomorrow.

    They are the royality without the nobility.

    FlihpFlorp , in The pick-up artist

    Guys it’s called efficiency

    FleetingTit ,

    No, it’s called stupidity. WhatsApp allows for Broadcast lists, which do what he was trying to do.

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