There have been multiple accounts created with the sole purpose of posting advertisement posts or replies containing unsolicited advertising.

Accounts which solely post advertisements, or persistently post them may be terminated.

lemmyshitpost

This magazine is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Evil_Shrubbery , (edited ) in Moon caves.

Im feeling a sci-fi prompt, maybe SCP with sexy Event (w)Horizon vibes.

[Book and movie SPOILERS!!]

When the first settler party lands in a dry yet well fertilised hole all is seemingly well, but after a while strange slippery secretions start to emerge all over the hole, unusually sulphuric pockets of moon gas erupt from time to time, small veiny red colourations appear at the edge of the hole, but everyone is just exited at all the new wonders and discoveries they are the first humans to witness.
Until all goes to shit - the hole closes like an … let’s say brown iris of sorts, they lose all coms & mass hysteria with delusions of thiccnes affects the entire base. Soon settlers start attacking each other with violent and uncontrolled outbursts of aggressive twerking or deadly farting. Not long after settlers physiology starts to change radically and distinctly; the fast “farters” develop a sort of ass-guns, while the slower “twerkers” atrophy all other body parts except of massive, juicy, and impossibly strong gluteus maximi.

[ - - - - - ]

Patients log, 1620 hours, day 69, Dr Semen, lead scientists of the spelunker team, unscheduled appointment:

  • “I keep having this visions, doctor. They keep repeating, now even when Im wide awake. Its always a visage of two moons, about equal in size, one slightly overlapping another. They look like our Moon, but there are two of them!!”
  • “And how does that make you feel?”
  • “Idk Copilot_D0c_v0.245, I feel nothing really, completely empty perhaps. But I do remember them being oddly erotic.”
  • “Erotic? The succulent soft globes of the seductive Lu… I mean moons?”
  • “What? Yes, I guess.
    But Im here today because I fear by condition may be rapidly accelerating. I have no explanation for it. The medic gave me a full scan and found nothing - all STDs within normal parameters.”
  • “You have said your “condition” is accelerating? Are you unfit to perform your work duti-”
  • “No, no! I can perform normally, don’t dock my daily oxygen ratings rations!”
  • “Proceed with your report please.”
  • “My “report”? This is a confidential and encrypted session, right?”
  • “Yes, naturally, we at Devil’s Taint Inc™ respect your privacy and your wellbeing is of our outmost importance.”
  • " . . .
    So my vision, I have to tell someone, maybe it’s a warning, a premonition? …
    I keep seeing the two moons, they are ever so slowly getting closer and they keep moving up and down, in a steady rhythmic motion … They also move somewhat apart when on the downward curve only to violently slam together at their topmost point, seemingly cancelling each other whorizontal momentum but resulting in catastrophic shockwaves!! Nothing in the vicinity could survive that kind of power! It’s a warning, I know it is!!"

    [Dr Semen can be heard sobbing]
  • " Unscheduled health check complete.
    Your were found to be fit for work and shall resume with your shifts as scheduled.
    And try to remember, there is only one Moon, The great Clappening isn’t prophesied to happen for another millennia or so.
    This session is now terminated, have a pleasant rest of the day"

End Log

Hugh_Jeggs , in poni

Good TV show when wasted? Anything with Diane Morgan

Obviously the “Cunk on…” series but she also did one called “Mandy” which is a bizarre masterpiece

LemmyKnowsBest , in What is this from

It’s from here

LodeMike OP ,

Thank you!

pipows ,
@pipows@lemmy.today avatar

Took me a while to figure out what’s happening, I thought your link was broken

LemmyKnowsBest ,

LOL yes I’m here to keep you monkeys entertained

assassinatedbyCIA , in poni

What’s bojack up to

Evil_Shrubbery ,

Just the very usual Bojack activities.

umbrella , (edited )
@umbrella@lemmy.ml avatar

you know, just puking some sand

FooBarrington , (edited )

Ate too much cotton candy

Evil_Shrubbery , in Moon caves.

Well now I’m interested.

One ticket to Lunussy please!

grue , in To bad we never did give electoral reform a try before The Fall

We didn’t try it because nobody in power wants it. In the neoliberal Democrats’ case, they hate the idea so much they’re willing to let the country descend into fascist dictatorship instead.

riodoro1 ,

Probably because personally they’ll be comfortable as ever. There literally isn’t any consequence to them

thedudeabides , in Ive bought two

Will buy it if it’s made of galvanized square steel

AtomfriedMegaforce OP , in Lets hit them with their own weapons

The best thing about the comments on my post: I have no idea who’s serious and who’s just acting

No_Money_Just_Change , in poni

ruhig jacqueline sonst kotzt du wieder

Ilovethebomb , in It's EVERYWHERE!

There’s only so many ways to tell a very simple story.

RickAstleyfounddead , in 24/7 earbud gang unite

Silence to 4hr sleep too

TurboHarbinger , in Moon caves.

Can’t unsee

Annoyed_Crabby , in I'm generous like that

Madly in love, eh?

robocall , in poni
@robocall@lemmy.world avatar

I’ll have what she’s having!

LordWiggle , in Hey isnt that the horse from Horsin’ around?
@LordWiggle@lemmy.world avatar

I don’t get the reference but I do love ketamine

Sigh_Bafanada ,
  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • [email protected]
  • random
  • lifeLocal
  • goranko
  • All magazines