There have been multiple accounts created with the sole purpose of posting advertisement posts or replies containing unsolicited advertising.

Accounts which solely post advertisements, or persistently post them may be terminated.

lemmyshitpost

This magazine is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

BedSharkPal , in no it do not

The IRS? Did he like, not pay taxes on his suicide vest or something?

Iheartcheese ,
@Iheartcheese@lemmy.world avatar

Who among us has not done that.

Illegalmexicant ,

It’s a work experience. Well I’m about to have it as my uniform for a day

psmgx ,

If it’s a work uniform then it can be deducted

moosetwin ,
@moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Who among us

I had this entire sequence play through my head when I read your comment

SpaceCowboy ,
@SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca avatar

He threw out the receipt after declaring it as a business expense.

fayoh , in Which one of you?

That looks like a timeline

Sam_Bass , in American healthcare be like

Miracle whip makes better chicken salad

thesporkeffect ,

Booo! Chicken salad isn’t a dessert, you heathen 😛

greenhorn , in no it do not

The banality of evil. A roku remote, Christmas themed tea towel, a Christmas snowman countdown calendar, and a suicide vest to and paying taxes

Chronographs ,

Suicide vest is in christmas colors too

eezeebee ,
@eezeebee@lemmy.ca avatar

Merry Christmas ya filthy animal

JoeBigelow ,
@JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca avatar

We’re the Wet Bandits

4am ,

I feel like Roku customers are just the right amount of intelligent to post their suicide vest jokes on Twitter and think it’s not a big deal

tar ,

jokes are protected speech. any amount of actual investigation would have found that they don’t own anything like that. fuck government intimidators

4am ,

This was the investigation and they apparently let him go if he’s posting about it. Right or wrong I’m not surprised they postured strongly at a guy making threat jokes.

son_named_bort , in Which one of you?

I was assassinated by the CIA.

johncritzman ,
@johncritzman@lemmy.world avatar

AMA when?

stoicmaverick ,

Did you report it?

kelargo , in Are they just typecasting him???

Nick Fury wasn’t always a black character.

TachyonTele , (edited )

That is true. They changed him to look like Sam Jackson. And then they started making Marvel movies afterwards, and were able to cast him as Nick Fury.

Plus you’re just repeating what multiple other people have already said a day ago.

kelargo ,

Jim Steranko art style was unique.

Semi_Hemi_Demigod , in Honey what’s wrong, you barely touched your Philly Cheesesteak Cheesecake
@Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world avatar

I try very hard every day to avoid making a savory salmon and dill cheesecake. When my resolve fails, I like to top it with some capers or pickled red onions.

MacNCheezus OP ,
@MacNCheezus@lemmy.today avatar
PsyDoctah9Jah , in Honey what’s wrong, you barely touched your Philly Cheesesteak Cheesecake
@PsyDoctah9Jah@lemmy.world avatar

Looks really cool! You could even recreate say: Crust( seasoned) Cheese layer Mashed potatoes/Sweet corn A1 steak sauce

Though, I’m vegan, gluten free, & non-GMO.

Cheers

MacNCheezus OP ,
@MacNCheezus@lemmy.today avatar
PsyDoctah9Jah ,
@PsyDoctah9Jah@lemmy.world avatar

Oh cool!! Was this AI or is this real

MacNCheezus OP ,
@MacNCheezus@lemmy.today avatar

It’s AI

Rainb0wSkeppy , in This will be YouTube in 2025

laughs in newpipe

NutWrench , in American healthcare be like
@NutWrench@lemmy.world avatar

Isn’t it amazing how often the Miracle Whip people end up in the hospital emergency room whenever they have a serious medical problem.

Not being able to breath has a way of reorganizing your beliefs in a big damn hurry.

Holzkohlen ,

Don’t worry, they are back to their beliefs right after. Same with the anti abortion crowd.

sirico , in Would buy it though
@sirico@feddit.uk avatar

50 years time this turns up on antiques roadshow

bigkahuna1986 , in Protect your PC

Good to know VGA and parallel port devices are safe.

maynarkh ,

Nah, they’ll just sue you if you’re using VGA instead of HDMI since it obviously means you are trying to crack DRM and thus running afoul of DMCA.

hemmes ,
@hemmes@lemmy.world avatar

Everyone loves listening to their favorite purchased movie while watching a black screen

maynarkh ,

Nuh-uh, sound has to go over HDMI as well. You may only partake in your own culture through DRM-approved channels.

This got me thinking, could you still get an abortion in the bad parts of the US if you trademarked your DNA, and claimed that the condom breaking violated DMCA?

You know, show up at the doctors with a ton of papers headlined

CEASE AND DESIST

Or at least get child support out of Durex?

MindTraveller ,

More worryingly, I wonder if a male can force a pregnant woman to have an abortion using that logic.

maynarkh ,

ESL person question here - isn’t “male” used as an adjective more than a noun? If you used “pregnant female” as a counterpart, it would sound weird to me, like we were talking about rabbits, not people.

MindTraveller ,

As an enby who was assigned male at birth, there’s a decent chance my penis could get somebody pregnant. I’d rather be referred to as a male than a man or a father. They’re all quite unappealing and untrue terms, but male is the most true out of them. I could have used the word seeder, but that’s less well known.

maynarkh ,

I understand, then male would mean “people with a penis”?

Irelephant ,
@Irelephant@lemm.ee avatar

by some definitions male refers to the sex, rather than the gender.

MindTraveller ,

Maleness is a complex many-faceted social construct unifying a set of correlated patterns in genetics, endocrinology, musculoskelature, reproductive biology, and possibly neurology. I’m mostly not male, but I do have the parts of maleness that relate to producing and delivering semen, and it might even be fertile.

ouRKaoS ,

I think you’ve taken the long way around to becoming a sovereign citizen

maynarkh ,

I sometimes do drink myself to sovereign citizen. Unlike most of those people, I do get sober the next morning.

teamevil ,

Do really want to get an abortion from the last qualified person left to give it in one of the dumbass states‽ Plus they’re probably out of practice.

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

What about my Hercules graphics card?

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot ,

Sorry, it put on a poisoned shirt and had to jump into a fire.

PhlubbaDubba , in no it do not

People like this deeply confuse me

The IRS ain’t sending an agent to you specifically unless you’ve done something well beyond the pale of what can just be excused as a mix-up or simple misunderstanding

You gotta be in a whole different kinda space for the tax man to be someone you gotta personally interact with.

Sorgan71 ,

anyone who actually pays taxes is a moron

PhlubbaDubba ,

Get off the road freeloader.

MindTraveller ,

I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.

“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”

“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”

“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”

The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”

“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”

“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”

He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”

I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.

“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.

“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.

“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”

It didn’t seem like they did.

“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”

Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.

I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.

“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.

Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.

“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.

I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”

He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.

“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”

“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.

“Because I was afraid.”

“Afraid?”

“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”

I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.

“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”

He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.

blackluster117 ,
@blackluster117@possumpat.io avatar

Now this is a masterpiece. How have I not seen this al dente copypasta before?

GBU_28 ,

It’s a classic, but is cream of the crop

lemming741 ,

Can chatgpt write copypasta?!?

Skullgrid ,
@Skullgrid@lemmy.world avatar

Nice, I used this to get the Ancap community to get shut down

PsychedSy ,

What? Ancaps love this copypasta more than anyone else.

Skullgrid ,
@Skullgrid@lemmy.world avatar

/u/Masterpain created an ancap community

he also left it devoid of content

the only 3 posts there were me saying ancap was a fake, paradoxical political idea, his intro to ancap post and me posting this copypasta

other people were also laughing at him and his community

he shut it down in shame and deleted his account.

Kolanaki ,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

Oh good. I don’t have to copy and paste it myself. 🤘 lol

ICastFist ,
@ICastFist@programming.dev avatar

Fun fact, every capitalist dreams of taxing others for no reason, only they call it rent or subscription and won’t always deliver their end of the bargain.

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

There are so many times a libertarian has told me their libertarian way of doing things and I say to them that it sounds to me like they’re talking about taxation with extra steps and bigger threats and it’s always “no no no, but see you don’t have to pay for the fire department to come to your house, but no one will insure your house and it will be worthless…”

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

As noted non-moron Wesley Snipes can tell you.

skulblaka ,
@skulblaka@startrek.website avatar

Well, sure hope you haven’t done a lot of existing in public lately, because damn near everything out there has my tax dollars in it, and I’d appreciate you not abusing them. Get off my roads, get out of my schools, get out of my parks, unless you’re paying into them.

Also, keep an eye out for the nice men knocking at the door. They’ll be there soon with some questions, I’m sure.

Pacmanlives ,
actual_pillow ,

So red pilled

LodeMike ,

IRS agents generally don’t like making their job harder. Don’t piss them off and you’ll probably be fine.

MeaanBeaan , in Would buy it though

Right next to the crosses. Perfect. Right where it belongs.

Lucidlethargy , in Thanks, Copilot

It’s funny how in all examples AI did it on accident.

In reality, it’s just humans destroying the planet in a relentless pursuit of over abundance. AI itself (which may some day become indistinguishable from a person) is actually blameless at this stage.

simplymath OP ,

yeah. I tried “accelerate” and “exaggerate” before “cause”, but it got confused and repeated the prompt as a caption meme on random images of forests

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • [email protected]
  • random
  • lifeLocal
  • goranko
  • All magazines