You know, of all the things of this post, it’s the Roku remote that really confuses me. Was he holding it when he answered the door? Was it in his pocket and he took it out when was looking for phone to make the Tweet?
I think those are two entirely different days, and the second day the friendly neighborhood FBI field office agents brought the printout of the first day with them to confront CoreyPilat over his vague threat towards federal officers.
So the remote being on his kitchen countertop is just random coincidence and does not figure into the continuity between the two posts.
this is pretty regular. It happens a lot with people who order large amounts of “suspicious chemicals” Styropyro got a visit from, i believe the ATF, might be wrong it’s been a minute since i’ve watched that video, for procuring chemicals that can be used for nefarious purposes in mass quantities.
Similar things have happened with farmers, (fertilizer can often be used in improvised bombs) You will almost certainly see something similar if you directly threaten the government, though it’s usually "hey uh, don’t do this, this is bad, also we’re going to make sure you aren’t a terrorist real quick.
Well on the bright side I am sure this person has a bunch of new followers on X. Granted most of them are trying to build a criminal case against him for further profoundly dumb posts but still. All publicity is good publicity
As Behind the Bastards pointed out recently in their Kent Hovind episode, the IRS doesn’t give a shit about what illegal or immoral activity you commit, they literally just want you to pay taxes on it.
They do deep dives are random shitty people throughout history, and occasionally contemporary people like Andrew Tate. Usually it is people like 1940s gangsters, 1990s drug kingpins, King Leopold the 2nd, and fittest gurus from the 1800s.
It used to be tax deductable to bribe government officials of foreign governments.
Unrelated, if you get bribed in time with a hooker do you report it based on what she charges or fair market rate or is there a set amount? I feel like someone at the IRS sat down and came up with an answer to this.
It’s a separate form complete with nine pages of instructions outlining how to calculate market values based on region and services rendered. The formula isn’t helpful, so in the end you just put in half of what you paid and hope you don’t get audited.
IRS agent: so you put down that you received a “Cincinnati Steamer” as part of your compensation for employing this vendor.
Dude: that’s right
IRS agent: please describe what goes into a Cincinnati Steamer so I can assign it to a category or categories. Also do you happen to have her W2s and social security number?
Dude: sure, and no I don’t have her paperwork. Surprisingly she didn’t share it with me.
The IRS ain’t sending an agent to you specifically unless you’ve done something well beyond the pale of what can just be excused as a mix-up or simple misunderstanding
You gotta be in a whole different kinda space for the tax man to be someone you gotta personally interact with.
I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.
“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”
“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”
“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”
The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”
“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”
“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”
He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”
I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.
“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.
“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.
“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”
It didn’t seem like they did.
“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”
Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.
I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.
“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.
Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.
“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.
I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”
He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.
“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”
“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.
“Because I was afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”
I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.
“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”
He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.
Fun fact, every capitalist dreams of taxing others for no reason, only they call it rent or subscription and won’t always deliver their end of the bargain.
There are so many times a libertarian has told me their libertarian way of doing things and I say to them that it sounds to me like they’re talking about taxation with extra steps and bigger threats and it’s always “no no no, but see you don’t have to pay for the fire department to come to your house, but no one will insure your house and it will be worthless…”
Well, sure hope you haven’t done a lot of existing in public lately, because damn near everything out there has my tax dollars in it, and I’d appreciate you not abusing them. Get off my roads, get out of my schools, get out of my parks, unless you’re paying into them.
Also, keep an eye out for the nice men knocking at the door. They’ll be there soon with some questions, I’m sure.
This was the investigation and they apparently let him go if he’s posting about it. Right or wrong I’m not surprised they postured strongly at a guy making threat jokes.
