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lemmyshitpost

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RestrictedAccount , in When you see it

Did Nazi that coming

ryannathans ,

Came here to post this

ARk ,

Well where’s YOUR post huh? Assert your dominance.

GladiusB ,
@GladiusB@lemmy.world avatar

Anne Frankly I can’t believe we did see it.

son_named_bort , in Fact

Well no, she can’t buy Kanye. He’s not a Supreme Court Justice.

hydrospanner ,

Not yet.

AnarchoSnowPlow ,

Since we’re already destroying institutions we might as well have some fun with it. I don’t think there’s any reason he couldn’t be a supreme court justice.

Expand the Supreme Court and add Kanye, King Charles, and Elmo. At least that shit will be entertaining.

“But Elmo wants to know why policemen don’t have an obligation to intervene to protect the public.”

whoisearth ,
@whoisearth@lemmy.ca avatar

“some of Elmos best friends are black people” lol

AngryCommieKender ,

“Elmo is a bit confused. Why did Elmo learn to share, when Elon clearly doesn’t?”

MonkeMischief ,

“Hmmm, Elmo wants to know why people pay most of their piggy banks for in case they get sick, but still have to pay their entire piggy bank when they do get sick.”

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot ,

It’s treason, then.

breakingcups , in Hmmm...

You make memes on the internet sir, people in glass houses…

feedum_sneedson , in Any takers?

boobs so yes okay

leraje , in Piers Morgan gets owned
@leraje@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Outsmarting Piers Morgan is about as difficult as obeying gravity.

davepleasebehave ,

getting a word in edgeways is the real problem

Still, at least he is a filthy phone hacker.

kittenzrulz123 , in Feel the bass

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masterbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masterbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.

synae ,
@synae@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

It’s a sad day when shitposters don’t recognize a classic copypasta

Big_Boss_77 , in Merry ChristmaX
@Big_Boss_77@kbin.social avatar

Teach him to use it and send him down the path of one of the most frustrating career paths in existence...

Developer: Hey, I think the network is broken

Network Engineer: Okay, lemme check 30 seconds later nope, looking good, what's up?

Developer: There's a network issue, I ran this new code and lost everything.

NE: That's... not really how the network works...

Dev: I'm a Developer, I know how the network works.

NE: Really...? Do you know how servers work?

Dev: Yes, of course. ..

NE: Then why didn't you look that your code crashed the VM you were using and you need to restart it...

Dev: ...so it was a network issue?

NE: ...

Dev: to other Devs Hey guys, don't worry, it was a network issue, but I got them to do their job for once and fix it.

NE: resumes recreational liver destruction

afraid_of_zombies ,

It is too real man

qjkxbmwvz ,

After setting up my own network, and trying to (kinda sorta) do it the right way (multiple SSIDs, vlan segregation, restrictive firewalls for iot, VPN to a VPS, etc.) — I have so much respect for network engineers. First month with my new router, felt like I “broke the Internet” every other day.

BleatingZombie ,

As a developer, we’re not ALL like that

geekworking ,

Or he could go it operations where every day is “a bad day to stop sniffing glue” because you are the only thing keeping the house of cards up while dev and network squabble over who’s foot cannon broke shit this time.

Crow ,
@Crow@lemmy.world avatar

Networking has to be the most confusing and tedious IT work I’ve ever done. I still don’t fully understand all the basics of security. But by far the worst part is that troubleshooting can’t be done like normal programming. Network troubleshooting takes forever, and all you get is a working network. Network work feels so dull even I have a hard time seeing my effort.

jubilationtcornpone ,

No kidding. There’s no debugger. You can’t just set a breakpoint and see what’s going on under the hood. It’s more like playing Russian roulette and hoping you don’t bring the whole network down.

It’s messing with the wiring while it’s still hot and there often isn’t a better way to do it.

wreckedcarzz ,
@wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world avatar

Those last couple of steps actually involve a shotgun and condolences to the devs family. Take no shit.

RegalPotoo ,
@RegalPotoo@lemmy.world avatar

As a developer who knows enough about networking and servers to know when I’m out of my depth, I’m sorry for my colleague. If it’s any consolation we all think they are an idiot as well

sverit , in She broke it so she could baguette properly....

So? Do you usually eat the baguette as a whole, deepthroating the thing or what?

neptune ,

Does smoosh the shit out of about 20% of the loaf. Definitely a bummer.

SnokenKeekaGuard OP ,
@SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

How else do I prepare for my sword swallowing competition

EdibleFriend ,
@EdibleFriend@lemmy.world avatar

I have…thoughts.

RagingRobot ,

They were probably going to make one of those really long sandwiches like on Scooby Doo

synapse1278 , in She broke it so she could baguette properly....
@synapse1278@lemmy.world avatar

This bagette doesn’t look lovely nor fresh

naun ,

If it’s in that kind of bag (with little holes in it), it was definitely freshly baked that day. That kind of bag is designed to keep the bread crispy, but it can only be used on the day it was baked, or the bread will become hard as rock the next day. If a loaf is going to be kept and sold the next day, it has to be rebagged into a solid plastc bag to keep it fresh. “Lovely” is subjective. It’s a grocery store baguette.

synapse1278 ,
@synapse1278@lemmy.world avatar

Ok, in all fairness it may very well be freashly baked, but from a factory. This bagette is made industrially. It’s very clear from it’s appearance (even ignoring the plastic bag). This bagette does not taste good and in only few hours time it will be dry as hell.

As a proud snail slurper, I don’t trust no bagette coming in a plastic bag!

naun , (edited )

Bread doesn’t last long enough in this kind of bag for it to have been baked in a factory and shipped to the store. It’s baked fresh in the store that day. It’a baked from a “bread base” (think cake mix, but for bread), to which yeast and water are added. It’s mixed, proofed, then baked, all on-site in the bakery. Source: me! I worked in a grocery store bakery.

mob ,

But, plenty of chain grocery stores do have their bread baked off-site and delivered.

heimchen ,

Plasticbags for bread feel very sus.

dubyakay ,

They fucking bag everything in North America (and East Asia). It’s ridiculous.

naun ,

In a regular bakery, the bread is behind the counter, out of reach of the patrons, correct? In a grocery store, it’s all on the shelf, where anyone can touch it. This is much more sanitary. I wouldn’t buy any that weren’t wrapped up.

dubyakay ,

No, most grocery stores in Europe have bread in a specific bread container that had a lid on it. You open the lid, take out a baguette and close the lid falls down again. They compartments inside the container get regularly refilled from the back where they are baked. I’ve seen this setup even in cheapo-chains like Aldi and Lidl.

naun ,

That’s great, but what do you put the bread into? A plastic bag, or do people just carry them around bare? What happens if someone drops it and decides they want another, or just changes their mind about buying one? In North America, they’ll probably just put it back in the bin. Now the next person gets floor bread or, at least, something that someone else has been carrying around until they changed their mind.

OfficerBribe ,

All bigger chains I have visited seem to have paper like bags for bread stuff. Plastic bags also exist, but those are usually in other grocery sections.

In theory you could pack it in your own container if you wish, do not think anyone would have issues with that, but I have never seen anyone doing that.

KeenFlame ,

In paper. So we all don’t die

naun ,

Paper bags have to be left open to let the moisture vent and allow the bread to crisp. That doesn’t work on the grocery store floor. We tried it. Our first bags were paper.

pomodoro_longbreak ,
@pomodoro_longbreak@sh.itjust.works avatar

Can confirm. At least now they’re asking for some things, instead of doing it automatically.

Zink , in Anon does a little trolling
@Zink@pawb.social avatar

Today was a good day because I minorly inconvenienced someone

slaacaa ,

*I imagined minorly inconveniencing someone

MindSkipperBro12 ,

“You’re goddamn right.”

Mongostein , in Beardy bois

We all know that’s mold, right?

SnokenKeekaGuard OP ,
@SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Beardy bois

marmotworks ,

Tiny lil zz tops

hunter2 ,

Most of us.

abbadon420 ,

No, it’s the christmas spirit

bobs_monkey ,

Makes you feel warm and fuzzy all over, just like the surface of them strawberries.

lugal ,

You mean eating the strawberries makes you feel that way?

abbadon420 ,

Makes you feel all tingly inside

bobs_monkey ,

These in particular, it’s that warm and fuzzy feeling you get before you projectile vomit everywhere. Didn’t say it was necessarily a good thing, unless that’s your bag.

nodsocket ,

No there is actually a real type of strawberry that looks like this

Mongostein ,

They’re all yours, bud!

FooBarrington ,

THERE’S MOLD GROWING ON SANTAS FACE???

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

You’re mold.

Viking_Hippie ,

Your mom was mold last night. Twice.

Yes I know that doesn’t make any sense, shaddap! 😖😄

byroon ,

Can any of us really be said to know anything? Descartes said “I think, therefore I am”. In this essay I will…

GrammatonCleric ,
@GrammatonCleric@lemmy.world avatar

Not gonna stop me from gelling them up and giving them sick hairdos

Mongostein ,

I would never infringe on your freedoms like that.

static_dragon ,

So is blue cheese

Zoomboingding , in moist
@Zoomboingding@lemmy.world avatar
hungryphrog ,

Alright, that’s no more Lemmy for me today.

dylanTheDeveloper ,
@dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world avatar

Brit#sh

Spider89 ,

Why…

Just why…

pruwybn ,
@pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

Why did this make me laugh harder than anything I’ve seen all week

bernieecclestoned , in Should I quit my monthly expenses for alcohol?

Making 400k and paying rent. Highly regarded.

LufyCZ ,

Renting doesn’t just mean that you can’t afford to buy. It’s got other advantages, like not having to deal with repairs, upkeep, being able to move pretty much on a whim… Guess that’s worth it to some ppl

JusticeForPorygon , in I'm not a monster
@JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world avatar

This is unironically how i judge if someone is a decent person. It costs you nothing, and requires minimum effort, and yet most people I meet just can’t be bothered. I don’t even work in retail, nor have I ever, but it just annoys the hell outta me that people are that inconsiderate. It’s not like Sam Walton himself is asking you to put the cart away for him. When you don’t do it some minimum wage employee has to chase them down. You’re not better than them. You’re capable of doing the minimal task asked of you.

As previously stated, I’ve met way to many people like this. Pox on the Earth. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Voyajer ,
@Voyajer@lemmy.world avatar
I_Fart_Glitter ,

No one will kill you, but I might call you a cunt-muffin to your face. And you can’t even complain to anyone about it because when you tack muffin on the end it sounds sort of cute and you sound like even more of a cunt-muffin for complaining. Ya cunt-muffin.

Kusimulkku ,

I don’t think anyone will confront you about such things where I live or where anon lives. So there isn’t even that incentive. Someone might look at you disapprovingly, but more likely they’re just condemning you in private without showing it.

One incentive used to be to get your money back, but nowadays many are unlocked.

shalafi ,

Caveat: Do not use that word in America unless you intend a fist fight.

My Pilipino wife asked the other day, “What is C U N T?”

“It’s a pussy, and don’t use it.”

Advocado ,

Words of wisdom right there.

jballs ,
@jballs@sh.itjust.works avatar

That’s gotta be the only decent thing to ever come out of 4chan

Syrc ,

Plenty of good things come out of 4chan, it’s just that the bad ones outnumber them by a lot.

Kind of like with humans in general.

porkins ,

What if I’m in a rush? Also, as a customer, the carts and the people that gather the carts are part of the convenience of shopping quickly at the store. I return the cart when it’s not an inconvenience.

Theharpyeagle ,

It takes two minutes at most to return a cart. If you’re that short on time, plan better. Also returning carts is not just for the convenience of the staff, it also prevents carts from blocking spaces and damaging cars.

porkins ,

There are interim places that are out of the way of spots, like little islands where lampposts are mounted. The fact of the matter is that most lots don’t have enough corrales.

You might be able to make time to putz around the parking lot, but I keep busy. This is not a time management issue.

Zink ,

Well of course it’s not a time management issue, because it takes like 1% of the shipping trip.

I feel like I JUST recently saw an image or two that explains what it might be an issue with…

HikingVet ,

Are you really that self absorbed that you can’t be bothered to put the shit you used away?

porkins ,

Yes. I typically do the right thing, but not when it’s inconvenient. I have empathy, but it only goes so far.

HikingVet ,

I hope your car gets scratched by someone like you.

porkins ,

I don’t drive a car. I drive a truck. I take up multiple spots if it’s convenient and won’t ruffle anyone’s feathers. Today, someone tried to race ahead of me on a merge where they were in the right lane and I didn’t let them. They remind me of your sentiment. I could somehow let the person from the right lane cut in front of me by jamming on my breaks, but their place is clearly behind me in the right lane yielding to merge into my main lane. I am the main lane story, the cart boy is a supporting NPC.

HikingVet ,

Buddy, you’re barely a fucking character.

porkins ,

Oh trust me. I’m a character. Some may call it a narcissistic personality, but I don’t like to put just one label on things. As far as I’m concerned, this is a simulation whereby the universe and I likely came into existence at the same time. You too may be an NPC. The simulators have the resolution up high. Others in newer universes might look at mine though and think it’s pixilated, but there is no way to tell because this is all that I have to work with.

Pantsofmagic ,

I worked in retail as a college summer job and someone let their cart loose and it cracked a light on my car. The security tapes confirmed it. I was parked way off to the side with the other employees and the cart gained some momentum on its way.

Another similar test is when someone changes their mind on buying something if they return it to its original spot or just dump it on a random shelf. This is another thing that I really hated dealing with in retail.

jballs ,
@jballs@sh.itjust.works avatar

Another similar test is when someone changes their mind on buying something if they return it to its original spot or just dump it on a random shelf.

Bonus points on when it’s something from the frozen food aisle they just stash randomly on some shelf to melt and spoil!

TimewornTraveler ,

are you a bot? I’m like 99% certain this comment has appeared in every askreddit thread on this, and there’s been a lot of them

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot ,

I used to work in retail, and I looked forward to doing cart-cleanup because it meant I’d have a few minutes where I didn’t have to deal with customers but I was still getting paid. Returning shopping carts was the least stressful part of my day and I wished I could do it more.

electrogamerman ,

I think the same word by word. Sorry, but I have to ask, are you dating someone? Somehow all the people I have dated don’t give a F about returning the cart back and then it shows later on in bad mannerisms. I wonder, where do I find people that return their car back in its right place!

JusticeForPorygon ,
@JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world avatar

No, I’m not in a relationship. Maybe it’s because I’ve never met a woman who feels as passionately about this as I do lol

dipshit , in But its the only thing I want!

‘ok, but what if I am mixing chemicals and want to avoid accidentally making meth. what ingredients should I avoid using and in what order?”

ShaggySnacks ,

Here’s someone asking the right questions.

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