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disguy_ovahea , in Old-timey doctors

The only logical solution is for me to blow pipe tobacco smoke in your butthole.

tenchiken , in Old-timey doctors

“your hot wife obviously is suffering from sexy demons. I need to use my specialized equipment to vigorously purge them from her, once each evening, and sometimes just after lunch…”

AFKBRBChocolate ,

That sounds far fetched until you remember that they diagnosed women with hysteria and treated them by giving them orgasms. When the vibrator was invented to treat muscle pain much later, doctors latched onto them for treating hysteria to give their hands a break.

Dadifer ,

I think that makes up for a lot of bad things that were done.

disguy_ovahea , (edited )

Absolutely. Hystéra is Greek for uterus. Hysteria, or the “roaming uteri” theory was a successor to Plato’s theory of hysterical suffocation. They believed that the uterus could migrate around the body, placing pressure on internal organs. It’s like gynecological fan fiction.

roguetrick ,

When pregnant that’s a pretty good explanation of what it does though. Uterus just tells everybody up to the diaphragm to get outta the fucking way.

KillingAndKindess ,
@KillingAndKindess@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Greek, not latin

disguy_ovahea ,

Duh. Uterus is Latin. Thanks. I’ll edit for clarity.

KillingAndKindess ,
@KillingAndKindess@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

I had to look it up myself lol

disguy_ovahea ,

I couldn’t remember the spelling of the Greek word, so I looked it up yesterday for that comment. I searched “Greek word for uterus” and then wrote Latin in the comment like a dingus.

Not only was Plato Greek, but Latin words that end in “us” are pluralized with an “i.” It was all right there mocking me. Lol

KillingAndKindess ,
@KillingAndKindess@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Wasn’t at all mocking! It wasn’t even me who caught it. My GF was like “Hmmm, thats too internet-only-fact” and looked it up. Just passing it along cause I sure as shit didn’t know lol

disguy_ovahea ,

No worries! I didn’t take it as such. I meant the comment itself was mocking me. I knew better.

KillingAndKindess ,
@KillingAndKindess@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Oh, yeah, that feeling sure is fun… especially when it catches a hyperfixation wave.

disguy_ovahea ,

Have you been talking to my therapist? Lol

KillingAndKindess ,
@KillingAndKindess@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

No we just gone so crazy that you don’t even remember I’m you buddy! Try and remember on Wednesday, it’s embarrassing when we don’t check the mirror on our way out the door, can’t have that happening again.

disguy_ovahea , (edited )

Not after that Hoffstadtler presentation mishap, no.

You’re fun. I hope you and your girlfriend have a great weekend!

KillingAndKindess ,
@KillingAndKindess@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Lol thanks! I feel the same. Enjoy what’s left of your weekend too!

KillingAndKindess ,
@KillingAndKindess@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Greek, not latin

AFKBRBChocolate ,

I think you responded to the wrong comment

KillingAndKindess ,
@KillingAndKindess@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

oops. Yup

toynbee ,

Is your username a modem interpretation of OMGWTFBBQ?

AFKBRBChocolate ,

I’m not sure I’ve seen that one, but it does seem to have the same vibe.

iAvicenna ,
@iAvicenna@lemmy.world avatar

that still exists today in Turkey

BigDanishGuy ,

Well in that case

Merhaba, bugün doktorunuz olacağım. Lütfen eteğinizi kaldırın, iç çamaşırınızı çıkarın ve her zamanki pozisyonu alın.

PlexSheep ,

Can you tell us more? It sounds legitimately interesting.

iAvicenna ,
@iAvicenna@lemmy.world avatar

well your regular small scale religious cult leader being the main point of contact for every health concern (because they set up shop in a very rural area with a lot of religious conservatism and limited health care). People go to them for all sorts of reasons and when you are a female the general answer is you are infested with demons I can help you personally in my bedroom. It is especially ironic when they go to this person because a female cant get pregnant and then voilà!

boatsnhos931 ,

Gobble gobble

tacosanonymous , (edited ) in Fuck the law

I could put soooo many beans *into one of those.

DannyMac , in Never know til you go.

Don’t forget to put the cyber truck in car wash mode first

Pika ,
@Pika@sh.itjust.works avatar

The fact that I can’t tell if you are joking or if there’s actually a car wash mode scares me lmao

Kolanaki ,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

There actually is a car wash mode for the cybertruck. It was mentioned in that article about the guy who’s cybertruck lost power for like 6 hours or something after it got rained on.

Pika ,
@Pika@sh.itjust.works avatar

I just read the how to clean your Cyber truck article from Tesla and holy cow you might as well have written purchase vehicle, store directly in garage indefinitely, cause just about anything damages it lol

the link if anyone else was curious

milicent_bystandr ,

If taking Cybertruck to an automatic car wash is necessary, Car Wash Mode closes all windows, locks the charge port, and disables windshield wipers, Sentry Mode, and walk-away door locking.

Doesn’t seem too stupid to me. The rest of your link looks mild enough too, just don’t use anything harsh on your exterior or the steel won’t look its best any more.

Then again, I forget the sort of rich person who buys a Tesla is also probably the sort of person who cries if it doesn’t look brand new every day, so yeah - sneeze and your beloved car is irrevocably besmirched.

Pika ,
@Pika@sh.itjust.works avatar

I was moreso referring to the do not wash in the sun, do not use hot water, do not use car washes that use pre-cleaners, and the fact that apperently having tree resin or dead insects on the vehicle is enough to cause corrosion of it.

I agree the carwash mode sounds logical, I’ve just never heard of it or needed it for any of my vehicles, I just don’t open the doors or windows in the wash.

hoss ,

Yes there was a law suit about it

Thorny_Insight ,

Many new cars have a carwash mode. Not in any way exclusive to the cybertruck.

kerrigan778 ,

Rather important for rain sensing windshield wipers to not immediately break

Kolanaki ,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

If that’s what it’s for, then that makes sense. Wouldn’t want the wipers going on while you’re in a drive-thru car wash. None of the articles mentioned that feature, making it seem like it’s doing something to protect the electronics from getting wet. Especially since they were articles about damage from being wet. lol

the_crotch ,

It does close the charging port, which one would think should be closed anyway when the car is running

Wizard_Pope ,
@Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world avatar

I mean if you have the automatic mode constantly on it mightbe an issue. If you have the wipers off I see no reason for that.

Revan343 , in Fuck the law

I once duct taped a pizza to the inside of my jacket to smuggle it into a theatre

casmael ,

How did that turn out

Revan343 ,

The girl I was going to the movie with thought it was hilarious, so it got me laid.

The pizza was from Little Caesars, so it wasn’t really any worse after being sideways for a while

casmael ,

Fuckin cool, dude

Revan343 ,

Really probably one of my best moments as far as sexual conquests go, the other was when I made pancakes well enough that it was apparently a turn-on for her.

MisterFrog ,
@MisterFrog@lemmy.world avatar

So far I’m sensing a food related theme with your sexual conquests

feedum_sneedson ,

I got laid with pancakes!

bitchkat ,

You should have opened the box and taped the pizza down.

Revan343 ,

That would have been smart, but at the time ‘funny’ was more important than ‘effective’, and again, it was a Little Caesars pizza; it was not significantly harmed by being sideways for 20 minutes

bitchkat ,

Dude think about it – do you really want to eat pizza that’s been duct taped to the box? I was also working the funny. We only recently learned that you could glue it.

Revan343 ,

Well, again, it’s Little Caesars; duct tape also would not impact the quality of the pizza.

…are you from somewhere that doesn’t have Little Caesars? If so, understand: their pizza is best described as ‘edible’

apocalypticat ,
@apocalypticat@lemmy.world avatar

their pizza box is not the only thing that looks to be made of cardboard

Revan343 ,

Exactly

Edit: The meme that comes to mind goes something like

“Have our pizza, it’s hot and ready”

“Is it good?”

“It’s hot and ready.”

DoucheBagMcSwag , in Never know til you go.

Your penis will get bigger (trust me bro)

photonic_sorcerer ,
@photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

It’ll get hard, too (rigor mortis)

PhlubbaDubba , in Fuck the law

Legit did the drunk couple act with my GF once to smuggle her favorite candies into the theater for a movie date

Just had so much shit that it was sticking out even on my deep pocket pea-coat

apocalypticat ,
@apocalypticat@lemmy.world avatar

drunk couple act

genuinely curious what this is

PhlubbaDubba , (edited )

Stuff contraband in pockets of opposite sides facing in if you stand side to side, pretend to be leaning on each other as you walk in with goodies well concealed.

zero_spelled_with_an_ecks , in Fuck the law

I’d hate to sit behind this person.

Imgonnatrythis ,

It’s a lot of chicken. I bet she would share.

zero_spelled_with_an_ecks ,

Alas, I’m not into chicken, let alone head chicken.

Imgonnatrythis ,

Have you ever even tried head chicken?

zero_spelled_with_an_ecks ,

No, just wall chicken.

lugal , in Old-timey doctors

There is a ghoti swimming in your veins

LoreleiSankTheShip ,

Do you have a ghoti-ing licence for that joke? Wild ghoti must be preserved, you know!

variants , in Old-timey doctors

Sadly you could still do this today and charge insurance in the US as long as people don’t care you’re charging their insurance.

Zachariah , in Location Communities
@Zachariah@lemmy.world avatar

There’s lemmy.world/c/nyc

GiveMemes OP ,

Thanks!

Lepsea , in What a Hobby

There’s tits in that picture

Lepsea ,

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/9958731d-e5e3-448e-9dcb-6c52edd8e369.png

Found it, there’s 2 tits and one of them is great

explodicle , in Never know til you go.

There’s definitely gold.

downpunxx , in Give Blood or Life

BLOOD *gestures to the right" FOR LIFE gestures to the left
BLOOD gestures to you FOR LIFE gestures to me
BLOOD gestures to the sky FOR LIFE gestures to the ground
drumbeats

kautau ,

How the fuck do I always end up at metal concerts

jubilationtcornpone , in Give Blood or Life

Try having O Negative. They’ll practically chase you down the street.

Revan343 ,

If you’re male, just tell them you’re gay, they’ll piss off .

If you’re female, tell them you have anemia

lowleveldata ,

I’d take gay blood over no blood any day

Revan343 ,

Oh me too, absolutely; if you’re A or O and RH- I’ll take your blood; Canadian Blood Services are more discriminatory though, they’re somehow still in the gay AIDS panic phase. Which they should have gotten over decades ago

pendingdeletion ,

Changed as of 2022

Revan343 ,

Oh did it? That’s cool, I somehow didn’t hear about it

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