eupraxia

eupraxia , 10 days ago

ooh I fell in love with Taking Water by Billy Strings a day or two ago and it’s been in my head since

eupraxia , 12 days ago

I will say, these days it’s more or less impossible to release a game that’ll run perfectly on every system and it’s a good thing we’re able to fix crashes and patch issues as they come up. This has naturally had its downsides as publishers squeeze devs for tighter releases, but outside of that it’s a very good thing for devs and players.

eupraxia , 17 days ago

Two pickup trucks

Making love

American made

Built Ford tough

Two beautiful murder machines

American angels in the sky

Grown men cry

eupraxia , 18 days ago (edited 18 days ago)

Generally, using their current preferred name/pronouns (or neutral pronouns) is best. She’s still the same person, so it’s true to say Caitlyn Jenner won the 1976 Olympic Decathlon. If any other facts about the event itself were directly relevant to the conversation, that’d be ok - e.g. it would be accurate and inoffensive imo to say she won the men’s division.

But name/pronouns change all the time otherwise so it’s more normal to use the current ones. If Ms. Jones gets married and is now Mrs. Smith, it wouldn’t be inaccurate to talk about Mrs. Smith’s car breaking down last summer.

eupraxia , 16 days ago

That’s a good question! It’s definitely very rare that a birth name is entirely necessary to use in conversation, but an occasional situation comes up where I’m talking to an old friend about someone who’s since transitioned and I need to use a deadname to let them know who I’m talking about. Generally I say something like “so I ran into Denise, you knew her as Brett back in the day, etc etc etc” and just use Denise from there on. If the person I’m talking to isn’t caught too off guard by that, it’s a very smooth and natural way to handle that as a matter of circumstance and move on to using the preferred name quickly.

eupraxia , 16 days ago

Np, thank you for asking!

eupraxia , 24 days ago (edited 24 days ago)

While this is true to an extent, from experience this line of thinking has its limits and is very easy to misapply. On the one hand, yes you can tell people their ideas do not gel with the vision of the project, and sometimes that’s the right call. And sometimes doing this a lot is best for the project.

On the other hand, even if a majority of the work is coming from one person, not only does your community learn your project, they also spend time contributing to it, fixing bugs, and helping other people. I feel it’s only to a project’s benefit to honor them and take difficult suggestions seriously, and get to the root of why those suggestions are coming up. Otherwise you risk pissing off your contributors, who I feel have the right to be annoyed at you and maybe post evangelion themed vent blog posts if you consistently shut down contributors’ needs and fail to adapt to what your users actually want out of your software. And forking, while freeing and playing to the idea of freedom of choice, also splits your userbase and contributors and makes both parties worse off. It really depends on the project, but it pays to maintain buy-in and trust from people who care enough to meaningfully contribute to your project.

eupraxia , 1 month ago

bark-to-speech, of course!

eupraxia , 2 months ago

I’ve attempted to do public-facing technical support for a game and dear Christ you’re spot on. I love people for wanting to engage with something I’ve spent a substantial part of my life putting together and trying to make it run okay, and am sympathetic to people feeling frustrated when technical issues prevent them from fully enjoying an early access game. Early on when the community was small I had a great time shitposting with the players, but once we hit release the environment turned toxic pretty much overnight as the community suddenly grew.

But like, none of them know how hard we crunched to get even a playable version of the game out, nevermind one that’s playable on the lowest of netbook specs. None of em know how complicated the system is that’s breaking preventing them from logging in, that that’s not actually my area of expertise and that I’m just feeding them information from the matchmaking team who are all freaking the fuck out because this is the first time we’ve tested this shit at scale. None of them know that we were getting squeezed by our publisher, who wanted us to do a progression wipe that we didn’t want ourselves, but like they control if the game gets shipped at all so… not really a choice there. And we can’t admit any of this because accusations of incompetence come out pretty early, tend to stick around, and leave devs very little room to make bad decisions (which happens a lot!)

And like, being trans now on top of that? Hell no, I’m never touching a public server again if I can help it. Slurs and mistrust were already flying before, I can’t throw myself in front of that bus again. I’m gonna miss it because I cared a lot about connecting with people playing the game and for a while found a lot of joy in responding to bugs and fixing individual system issues and integrating into the community. And there were some amazing people who were great to talk to that I really missed when I left. But the inherent abuse that comes with that gets so overwhelming and it drained my desire to even work on games at all for quite a while.

eupraxia , 3 months ago

To be fair, Bluesky does have “blocklists” maintained by other users that you can opt into, and quite a few popular ones exist with active maintainers who take and act on reports pretty quickly. So you still can delegate moderation responsibilities. One advantage to this is that you can opt into a few blocklists based on what you personally want to block - separate lists exist for hateful bigots, crypto pushers, and so on. I gave it a shot out of curiosity and haven’t run into any issues yet, but that’s just me.

I still prefer Mastodon for broader AP integration, and I think blocklists aren’t discoverable enough outside of word of mouth, but I am curious to see how that turns out for Bluesky. Certainly an improvement over Xitter imo.

eupraxia , 3 months ago

I forgor 💀

eupraxia , 3 months ago

wait wait wait, but I’m on the internet! :o

eupraxia , 3 months ago

that an offer, or…?

eupraxia , 3 months ago (edited 3 months ago)

+1 to this for sure. Applies for gender identity too. Speaking just for myself, the longer it’s been since I transitioned the less my actual labeled identity has mattered, to the point that these days I just say “nonbinary” and move on. It’s what makes a lot of the “what is a woman” rhetoric baffling, given the label and definition matters so little in day to day life.

My bf comes off pretty much straight, but he describes himself as pansexual and attracted to feminine people. It’s cool to see him engage with the queer community despite being more or less able to “pass” as cishet if he wanted to, and his nebulous labeling was really helpful in settling my nerves as a newly-out trans woman. Less worrying about whether or not I was woman enough, more just hearing him say he likes me and that’s that.

eupraxia , 3 months ago (edited 3 months ago)

It always depends but tbh I hope you feel free to use whatever terminology you find useful to describe yourself! and I think there’s no valor that can be stolen, identity is what you make for yourself. It’s always a joy to learn someone I know is queer in any form. Lots of us have had times where we’ve doubted how we describe ourselves too and gatekeeping labels doesn’t tend to help anyone. You will come across people who do here and there, I did myself, but in my super objective opinion they’re annoying, smell bad, and stifle people just trying to figure themselves out. Labels are just tools for further conversation and more people using queer labels is a good thing.

eupraxia , 3 months ago

Was just about to post IDLES here myself. It goes and it goes and it goes

eupraxia , 3 months ago

This is what I came to the comments for! Thanks for the explanation, that’s cool as hell.

eupraxia , 3 months ago

Yep absolutely!

For me, it felt like my life was quickly progressing away from a youth I was not ready to leave for inexplicable reasons. In the end I ended up taking a nuclear option once I realized how uncomfortable I was with my future, and while it’s not been easy it’s been absolutely worth it.

Even though you may be stuck in the same habits and mistakes, they can be rewritten and you’ll be surprised how quickly life changes once you find what makes you authentically happy. A lot can happen in 3 years and I guarantee you’ll still be young at 24. You can still be young at twice that. There’s a lot of life ahead of you, especially once you take calculated risks to improve your future and make the most of the youth you still have. You may not know what exactly will make you happy, but trust in yourself and your judgement to find it as you go.

eupraxia , 3 months ago

SPD has “limited value” to the small biased sample of locals I know. They’re very unpopular in some communities, especially queer/minority communities around where these inspections took place. But as always, many others aren’t directly impacted and so they tend to be quietly neutral or supportive of the police.

eupraxia , 3 months ago (edited 3 months ago)

Talking in broad strokes all about balancing “freedom of identity/attraction” and “religious freedom” makes for a decent-sounding empathetic viewpoint prioritizing individual liberty. I understand where this is coming from, I don’t disagree myself, but then again who would?

And that’s why we have to get into the specifics of “forcefully spreading their belief system and values to others” because that’s what happens to queer people as status quo. We’re legally and socially discriminated out of a lot of aspects of public life and often carry deep trauma from wrath and abuse incurred on the way. Conversion therapy is still legal in many places for fucks sake! The hell is that if not forcefully spreading a belief system?

Often times, the term this is justified under is “freedom of religion” - but really it’s freedom to control and abuse others due to religious justification. The two freedoms are not equatable, therefore the balanced center between is not a neutral position.

Corporate pride advertising is super forced and very few queer people are actually on board with it. The term is “rainbow capitalism” and it’s pretty derisive. Unfortunately that’s all of what some people know of us - they don’t know us as people, as communities, just like them; they know us as a rainbow flag on a TV screen and as a Tucker/LWT/[whoever’s got opinions about us today] talk show segment, and so that’s all they think we are. Nobody likes this, queer people least of all.

eupraxia , 3 months ago (edited 3 months ago)

A lot more people identify with LGBT+ than there used to be, because it’s a very open label and people are more able to identify with it in accepting environments.

There’s a hell of a lot more people now who are… pretty much cishet, but maybe have some 5% attraction to the same sex, or they’re attracted to trans/nonbinary people, and so they consider themselves bisexual or pansexual, etc. when 5-10 years ago they probably wouldn’t have.

The specific number starts to mean a lot less when we remember the attitude of those people answering “do you identify with LGBT” has quickly shifted from “oh, well I’m definitely not gay!!” to “uhh sure, why not?” in a very short amount of time. I’m of the opinion this doesn’t reflect a change in our baseline behavior and is… not even consistently measurable given the diverging, shifting cultural context.

eupraxia , 3 months ago

I point conversion therapy out as an egregious example of persecution, but there’s plenty more, through a variety of avenues. Many fly under the radar as things that sound less intense - schools notifying parents if kids go by a nickname or change how they present is one that’s come up a lot lately.

From experience - lots of people thankfully have a “live our lives in peace” attitude - but unfortunately even a minority of bigots can make our lives pretty difficult and divisive. Especially if they’re allowed to do so by other people who don’t agree themselves, but also don’t fight it when they see it.

And so sure, the message has been coopted for mainstream audiences by corporations running ads like “[sterile uplifting music] at CitiBank, we think you’re people! [stock rainbow flags waving]” If you know anyone who’s queer, you know there’s real difficulty that comes with it, but also a resilient community takes care of each other the best they can. Pride ads are how most people know of us, but they’re not even close to representing us or the stakes we face. They’re pretty much entirely irrelevant to us - we never asked for them, and they certainly don’t help.

eupraxia , 3 months ago

I went just once in Capitol Hill, Seattle. If I was more of an extroverted type it probably could have been cool - it was a concert venue featuring a bunch of queer artists, and a lot of tents for queer community organizations - mutual aid, healthcare, counseling, etc. There’s definitely a way to make Pride useful for the community. But it’s really just bringing together a community that always existed regardless - and imo no reason to wait til June to start getting involved and organized 😁

eupraxia , 4 months ago

While I do broadly agree, I feel it’s important to note generational trauma is a real and separate concept. It just refers to the idea that trauma can be passed down from parents to children by repeating the same behavior or perpetuating the same ideas that traumatized them. This can be especially apparent in children of immigrants, religious extremists, or survivors of abuse, all for completely different reasons. It’s very common and worth talking about.

eupraxia , 4 months ago (edited 4 months ago)

semi-related tangent, I think some people misunderstand this kind of thing as “well if he was trans it would be fine.”

when really, no, a trans comedian would just write different and much better jokes about this subject matter because they’re immersed in it and have a deeper understanding of the community and the experience.

eupraxia , 4 months ago

Wasn’t really allowed to harbor or express anger as a kid. Now I can’t summon an ounce of rage, even when it’s appropriate and helpful. It’s not ideal, so I spend a lot of time meditating, dropping away other emotions in hopes of finding a spark of something in there. Nothing yet, but I’ve found a number of other useful things in the process.

Mindfulness is a great skill to build to debug issues like this. It’s slow, painful sometimes, and doesn’t always feel worthwhile, but it’s definitely worth taking the time to try meditating to get closer to your base emotions and how they appear.

Worth remembering too that what you’re looking for probably isn’t a huge shift in thinking, at least in the short term. Incremental progress over time is all it takes. Some people are shades of tightly wound and that’s okay. You’re who you are for a reason and it’s worth being kind to yourself when unhelpful thoughts appear. Not to excuse yourself of behavior you don’t want to maintain, but to care for and guide yourself toward a simple step in the right direction.

eupraxia , 4 months ago

It feels like a sequel honestly. Kind of incredible how many of the core mechanics from the base game they threw out in service of telling a new story differently.

eupraxia , 4 months ago

Outer Wilds, to my estranged family. I think they could use a new religion and that game’s probably a better place to start.

eupraxia , 6 months ago

It really depends on the sport imo. Trans women may retain some more muscle and some parts of the skeleton are largely unaffected, but muscle elasticity, hip rotation, flexibility, and endurance all end up being more dependent on hormones than birth sex in the long term. How much these things matter varies a lot from sport to sport, and the current system is not sufficient to balance these traits even among people of the same sex. Multiple leagues based on broad body types sounds reasonable, but I have no idea how complicated the rules would have to be to make it completely fair, given we already accept a great deal of unfairness currently.

eupraxia , 6 months ago

Escapism is a valid reason to enjoy music, but catharsis is a thing for some too. Sometimes it’s helpful to hear someone artfully articulate something I feel but haven’t put words to. When I’m frustrated with the world I put on some Against Me, rage about things for a bit, and then feel better.

eupraxia , 6 months ago

god, what a cool game. Never got around to playing the dlc though

eupraxia , 6 months ago (edited 6 months ago)

You’ve got it backwards. Lots of people who face addiction, homelessness, etc turn to sex work. It pays and sometimes that’s what ya gotta do to survive. I’d argue that consent is dodgy for anyone forced to do sex work to pay rent, but barring that, whatever gets struggling folks paid is good in my book.

An acquaintance of mine who’s been living out of her car for some time just got a refurbished laptop that she’s now using to polish up her resume and portfolio and get a stable job doing vfx. She paid for it using money she earned via sex work - which she’s not ashamed of at all, it’s just another skill she has that opened some other doors for her. She met a fantastic partner who she’s now living with. And now that she’s got a leg under her she’s getting sober too. I’m genuinely really proud of her.

eupraxia , 6 months ago

Not on OF, but I’ve got nudes out there. I really don’t give a shit who sees em. I’m not ashamed of them. Where do you get the idea that irreparably damages women?

eupraxia , 6 months ago (edited 6 months ago)

What a gross comment. I happen to think that’s bad.

Yes, which is why I brought up consent. Obviously nobody should be forced into it. But I’m not gonna worry about it on behalf of people who clearly don’t hate it. I feel it’s better they have something yaknow?

You can get enough money to buy a laptop in a couple weeks working at mcdonalds and you didn’t have to let creepy guys jack off to you in the process.

She already had a cashier job during the day, whenever they’d give her hours. But it wasn’t enough to have much left over. Dunno why you’d assume guys jacking off to you is inherently more traumatic than any shitty food service job.

eupraxia , 6 months ago

Seems to me like a bearded axe does many of the same things while being easier to control and being more effective as a striking weapon, no?

eupraxia , 8 months ago

Yeah, I think that’s pretty much all that is generally needed. I’ve had people assume but ask me first, just asking “she/her?” as a question, I respond yes, we go about our business. If you don’t want to assume, you can also pretty much universally use they/them in passing, or if it’s someone you interact with more frequently, people really don’t tend to mind if you ask.

I mean I’m trans, I get around quite a bit in queer spaces, I haven’t met anyone who would get super mad about initially assuming pronouns rather than just saying “hey I prefer XYZ” and moving on. Generally when people react strongly to being misgendered, it’s due to ongoing conflict over their identities, having to deal with people who use pronouns to casually disregard your Identity, familial abandonment, etc. It is often a response to complex trauma from elsewhere. That’s not really your responsibility, but I’ve been there and if you can offer them any grace in those moments, it’s extremely helpful.

eupraxia , 8 months ago

It’s not meaningless, but not meaningful enough for a legislative definition of sex. The law must be consistently applicable to people who aren’t “average”.

eupraxia , 8 months ago

For the person being executed, firing squads are among the most “humane” methods. It’s fast, reliable, and simple. It’s not common because the brutality of painting someone’s brains on the wall is too clear for onlookers.

eupraxia , 8 months ago

RedLetterMedia on YouTube. They’re great! I recommend starting with one of their Wheel of the Worst episodes, those are always fun

eupraxia , 9 months ago

My GF loves One Piece, she started me at just one episode quite a ways in - the one with Bink’s Sake - basically just to say “hey look, this story is actually going somewhere”. Then we started at like episode 60 or so and kept watching from there - it’s definitely a lot rougher, but I’m hooked enough now to watch it with her!

eupraxia , 9 months ago

Borderlands?

eupraxia , 9 months ago (edited 9 months ago)

Sticks and stones may break my bones, and single words here and there won’t hurt me, but en masse they normalize an attitude of supremacy and derision toward folks that super don’t need any more. No snowflake thinks they caused the avalanche, but lots of us have to live with the consequences of this in daily life regardless. Shock value slurs are also just… tired and played out at this point. Whatever humor they had at one point doesn’t really land in the same way anymore.

eupraxia , 9 months ago (edited 9 months ago)

No True Scotsman doesn’t really make sense without an effort to define what a Scotsman is in the first place. What feminism are we talking about? Are we so caught up on labeling people as feminists and misandrists that we’ve stopped talking about underlying ideas or caring about the internal conflicts within that camp?

As someone who’s queer as hell, I’ve seen this play out time and time again - someone who’s queer does something terrible, (because we’re just people, a mix of good and bad) the media plays up that incident and re-stokes the debate over whether or not we get to exist, then people in my life suddenly look to me as somehow responsible or associated with or benefiting from that person’s actions, simply due to the labeled association. Truth is, I only have direct insight into people I’m close to, queer or no. And so when I express my lack of political or personal connection with that person, it’s perceived as No True Scotsman, even though the original perceived connection was shaky at best.

As with all groups of people, take feminists as a mixed bag of people with varying ideas, who aren’t all responsible for what everyone else thinks. We’re all better off expressing ideas one-on-one rather than playing to these tribal labels. I think you are absolutely correct in that some rhetoric employed in service of feminism has alienated a sector of young men, but we can’t forget how media paints persecution narratives out of single tweets and snappy hot takes and holds everyone who labels themselves a feminist responsible.

eupraxia , 9 months ago

I heard there’s a holy yellow sky / Just make sure you close your eyes

eupraxia , 10 months ago

It’s pretty damn great where I am, where I have access to medical and mental care. Just sucks that some think they know what to do with us better than we do.