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Rentlar , in This wasn't meant to happen!

I can live with hold music even for an hour because I can keep it in the background.

The absolute WORST is when they play some music for 30 seconds, then the music stops, cutting to some voice recording peddling some bullshit like “try out [Product]!” or “Use our new mobile app!”. I can’t focus on anything else with it in the background because I think each time it cuts the CSR might have picked up the line.

Tagger ,

Your call is important to us …

SpaceNoodle ,

We’re experiencing longer than usual wait times

Tagger ,

Shudder

LucidNightmare ,

Due to COVID. Three years later.

afraid_of_zombies ,

I admit I don’t stand for that anymore. Every time I am told the person I need to speak to is working remotely or something I just remind them that they should have that sorted out by March 2020.

uis ,
@uis@lemmy.world avatar

The elevator doesn’t to the top over there

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

What I especially hate about those is that the VO is always on the “I’m super happy to tell you this” level, which just makes it ten times worse since it’s a fucking ad.

johnnybravo , in They work!

Does that mean he prefers vaccinated men?

nightwatch_admin ,

I sure hope any person, regardless of gender/identity, stays the fuck away from taters

Intralexical ,

Tater tots are great, though.

gnuplusmatt ,

What’s taters, precious?

Blyfh ,

Boil him, smash him, stick him in a prison!

Nacktmull , in Xitter Tanks
@Nacktmull@lemmy.world avatar

The seat is way too small for that bowl and I find that mildly infuriating

XEAL ,

hold up

JesusTheCarpenter ,

That’s because they had to put the Elon’s Twitter sign. Which is why I am not big fan of this kind of old school satire. It’s a little on the nose Everything has to have signs, subtitles and arrows so even the dumbest people can understand them. While I understand the need for that, it makes the jokes fall flat for me.

ininewcrow ,
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

Makes sense to me … a seat small enough for a little asshole and a bowl big enough for someone who produces a lot of shit

Kolanaki ,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

I’ve actually seen that kinda shit IRL in public restrooms pretty frequently.

Asafum , in Don't Make Me Tap The Sign

I’m pretty sure the intent when upvotes and downvotes were created was to use them in regards to relevance. Is the topic about ducks and someone is going off about jeeps? Downvote. Is the community about posting DIY peanut butter but someone keeps posting Skippy™? Downvote.

It shouldn’t have anything to do with agreeing, effort, or anything like that. Just a way to keep the topic/community on track.

sabreW4K3 OP ,
@sabreW4K3@lemmy.tf avatar

I wholeheartedly agree with that. Also earlier when the dude was posting racist memes and everyone downvoted, I liked that usage.

Blank ,

This is due to the fact that racist memes are never relevant, automatic downvote!

sgtlighttree ,

Isn’t that what was specified in the original reddiquette? Downvote to maintain quality, but not to disagree?

Asafum ,

Yes, that’s more than likely where I first learned about it.

tacosplease ,

I’m kinda glad we downvote the things we disagree with. Whether on topic or not, shit opinions don’t deserve to be displayed with the same prominence as reasonable opinions.

StinkyRedMan ,

And that’s how a community become an echo chamber. Also assuming any opinion you agree with is reasonable and those you disagree with is shitty is silly…

Stoneykins ,

This is silly though, isn’t it? Most people think most things that they disagree with are low quality by nature of being something they disagree with.

Whatever was intended for them, IMO upvotes and downvotes work because everyone just uses them however they want, and the sum total of everyone doing that averages out to a somewhat passable quality sorting system. Trying to tell people how to use their upvotes and downvotes is just yelling into the wind.

cheesemonk ,

Think before you downvote and take a moment to ensure you’re downvoting someone because they are not contributing to the community dialogue or discussion.

From reddiquette. You are not supposed to downvote people you disagree with so long as they are contributing to the discussion. I’m not sure if I ever saw this guide line followed in my ten years of Reddit though.

Cinnamon3431 ,

disagree. downvote.

explodicle ,

I use it as a “you should read this” button. Even if it’s offtopic, I’ll upvote if it’s funny or useful.

tacosplease ,

I like this explanation the best. Net vote count is a decent proxy for whether something is worth reading.

hypelightfly ,

Intent is irrelevant. Humans don’t work that way and will continue to downvote what they don’t like/agree with and upvote what they do like/agree with. Creating a system that ignores how people work and asking them to please use it how you want will never work.

Everyone should just embrace how it’s actually used and move on.

saucyloggins , in Could we have had Beast Wars in the 60s?

That’s because the government has had tech way beyond even what we have today. They just peace-meal it out to us bro. They’ve been coordinating mass propaganda against us 1984 style since like. Before 1984.

Also. The government is so incompetent they can’t provide health care better than private insurance companies. Obviously.

Entropywins ,
@Entropywins@kbin.social avatar

Sounds reasonable... you've got my vote

Alvinum , (edited )

They won’t provide or create the framework for proper health care in the US because private health care is a very effective extortion scheme that can pay for the laws they want.

And the pharma companies like it like that.

"Oh, you like living? Too bad you live in the US, where we will charge you 10x what everyone else in the world pays for the insulin you need to survive. Pay up or die.

fortune.com/2023/01/13/…/amp/

There is a reason the US has the most expensive health care system in the world, while the health care system quality using objective criteria,l is usually around rank 40-60, below practically all western countries, below cuba and comparable to Armenia or Morocco.

statista.com/…/health-index-of-countries-worldwid…

…wikipedia.org/…/World_Health_Organization_rankin…

The US is also basically the only industrialized country where medical bankruptcy is a thing.

CodingSquirrel ,

You're not wrong, but I think the above poster was sarcastically pointing out that people who believe that the government is highly coordinated and competent don't trust the government to run healthcare because it's too uncoordinated and incompetent. Both incredibly strong and also laughably weak.

Danatronic , in Organic, huh?

I mean, I wouldn’t want to eat inorganic food. What would that even be, pure salt?

burntbutterbiscuits ,

McDonald’s?

UltraMagnus0001 ,

Chick FIL A

Ertebolle ,

I thought that was made from ground-up plundered religious artifacts or something

Rusticus ,

Spam

ignotum ,

You can actually eat spammers, and I think doing so counts as community service

AlecStewart1st ,

Hey now, spam is made of pork! What cuts of pork we’re talking about, well, that’s a different question.

Hextic ,

It’s “mystery” “meat”.

Also “organic”

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA ,
@HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world avatar

"organ"ic

Aux ,

Many different salts, not just NaCl. As well as many metals and some acids. But they all are micronutrients, you won’t get any calories out of them.

Fosheze ,

So it’s a diet then.

WarmSoda ,

I ate lead paint chips when I was a kid.
Delicious. But deadly.

HeckGazer ,

won’t get any calories out of them

Me, an intellectual: eats a chunk of uranium

WindInTrees ,

ITT: Non-Americans and people being facetious

Pixelemme , in loss

I didn’t get it. What is he trying to show there? Can anyone explain pls?

Vlyn ,
shrodes ,
Pixelemme ,

Oh. Wow.

RootBeerGuy ,
@RootBeerGuy@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

Appropriate response to exposure of loss lore.

NevermindNoMind ,

Congratulations on being one of today’s lucky ten thousand! xkcd.com/1053

jdeath ,

thanks! I’m lucky today!!

Zyansheep ,

Eyy, me too!

A_Chilean_Cyborg ,
@A_Chilean_Cyborg@feddit.cl avatar

You’re a nice kind of person!

Blastoid5000 ,
@Blastoid5000@lemmy.world avatar

I’ve seen this referenced a good dozen times and I never recognize it’s the meme until the Eli5

lowleveldata , in Got caught

Just be a normal human being and act like you didn’t see my animal sex toys

Death_Equity ,

It isn’t outrageous that you have them, the problem is you keep them in an illuminated bookcase in your living room and keep wanting to feature them as part of the tour.

JordanZ ,

You joke…but yeah(Obviously nsfw).

ByteOnBikes , in Oof ouch owie

My favorite part was when Trump said nobody died on Jan 6..

Her death was so useless not even the guy she was supporting gave a shit about her.

Furbag , in America's Smartest Man Finds Something Interesting

Alpha males ain’t shit. I’m a Neutrino male. Highest penetration power 😤

SaharaMaleikuhm ,

Can’t even feel anything though. Can you penetrate any harder my guy?

KellysNokia ,

As a beta, I can only penetrate a few millimeters but I can do a lot of damage if swallowed.

sparky ,
@sparky@lemmy.federate.cc avatar

10/10 physics joke right here folks

Pickle_Jr , in People warn about culture shock, but nothing prepared ne for this solid toilet paper roll in Vietnam

It’s so hard to use toilet paper after getting a bidet.

I mean sure, I use TP to double check the bidet did it’s job and to dry. But wiping twice as opposed to dealing with a marker butthole has spoiled me.

Dkarma ,

Twice? Try a dozen.

Pickle_Jr ,

I meant wiping twice as in I’d bidet, wipe once to dry, wipe twice to confirm clean, and then done. As opposed to marker butthole 😅

RememberTheApollo_ ,

That’s a grease pen, not a marker.

Surp ,
@Surp@lemmy.world avatar

Only reason you have a marker butthole is because you ain’t eating enough fiber motha fucka. Get some fiber powder and drink that shit bro wtf don’t spread misinformation like you spread your ass to shoot water up there to enema douche the bit of poop you left pinched off up your buttholy hole because you ain’t eating some God damn fiber my man!! EAT FIBER YO POO BE ONE BIG OL UNBREAKABLE LINK ITS WONDERFUL 👍

BallsandBayonets ,

My butthole is a marker unless I get a whiff of fiber, at which point it turns into a firehose. The only time I get a decent poop is when my diet is mostly sugar, cheese, and meat.

SatansMaggotyCumFart ,

That’s a true American asshole.

manuallybreathing ,

^ this user does not wash their asshole

Surp ,
@Surp@lemmy.world avatar

Confirmed!

WeirdGoesPro , in rizztastic
@WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

I’m Chris Hansen, take a seat. What exactly did you mean when you told a 14 year old to have a “Big Chungus weekend?”

blanketswithsmallpox ,

Look it’s just kid slang. Just because I have a cotton candy flavored condom in my pocket, three packets of cherry lube, a six pack of wine coolers and 12 pack of birthday cake vodka shots doesn’t mean it’s any different from when I use a piece of rabbit skin I rub on my dick every night to fall asleep.

Admittedly, you look and sound much older than I remember but you’re still 14 right?

Leate_Wonceslace , in Could an American please prove me wrong?
@Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Okay so geography is my second worst subject, but I’m about 60% sure that’s not real.

Vuraniute ,
@Vuraniute@thelemmy.club avatar

EUROPEAN EYES ONLY - TOP SECRETit isnt

Zachariah ,
@Zachariah@lemmy.world avatar

So New Zealand then? Got it!

EleventhHour , in gottem
@EleventhHour@lemmy.world avatar
rockSlayer ,

During the occupation, Kiara told dad jokes as a survival mechanism

downpunxx OP ,

perf

EleventhHour ,
@EleventhHour@lemmy.world avatar

Legend has it that she slaughtered an entire Cardassian Order with one well-told dad joke.

tigeruppercut ,

Gotta be better than the furher’s “my dog’s got no nose” one

youtu.be/Ed_oVrBmVRo

ahal , in Check the facts

Aww, lay off Jonathan. He’s a pioneer for gay rights, which is much more than can be said for any of you lot.

Due to his advanced age, Jonathan spends his days doing almost everything with his mate, including eating, sleeping and mating… The sex of Frederica, … his companion since 1991, was cast into doubt in 2017 when island veterinarian Catherine Man indicated that due to a deformity of its plastron its sex could not be verified,[4] and is now known to be male, being renamed Frederik.

Viking_Hippie ,

renamed Frederik.

So they didn’t just reassess the gender, but also repatriated him by naming him after the king (then crown prince) of Denmark

ivanafterall ,
@ivanafterall@lemmy.world avatar

Typical colonialist Jonathan bullshit.

jaybone ,

My Plastron also got deformed when I had a GI Joe guy use a hair spray bottle as a blowtorch.

hungryphrog ,

queer icon tortoise hell yeah

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