I’m okay with people not liking tea, but the audacity of a goddamn coffee drinker to imply that tea taste worse than their brown bean shit-water is ludicrous
To be fair I think it’s easier to make bad coffee than bad tea. But a proper good coffee is god tier, not sure about tea, I don’t think I’ve ever had a proper good tea. (I am open to recommendations)
Imo, recommending a good tea to a stranger is kind of like recommending a good song to a stranger. Without knowing more, it’s just a shot in the dark. Maybe I’ll recommend the greatest rap song of all time but you’re strictly a country guy, you know what I mean? And I’m just an enthusiastic tea enjoyer, nothing close to an expert. But sure, I’ll do my best.
First and foremost, if you have a tea shop in your area or a grocery store with a really robust loose tea section, ignore everything else I’m about to say after this paragraph and just go ask to smell some teas. Trust your nose and buy small quantities of 3 or 4 that smell appealing or like they might taste nice to you. Although I would recommend trying to steer clear of falling for sweet or “novelty” smells at this stage such as anything that smells super fruity. These might be great teas, but personally I’d start trying to form more concrete opinions on kind of “baseline teas” before muddying up the experience too much, although don’t be afraid of herbal teas or ones with singular and more subtle accent flavors. If the loose tea containers don’t have tea preparation instructions on them, ask a staff member. I’ll mention a bit more about prep at the end here.
If you don’t have that kind of access or just want to walk in and buy a box of tea bags, here are some basic beginner-friendly recommendations:
Lady Grey - You’ve probably at least heard of earl grey, but in my opinion it can be a little intimidating to start and bit fussier to prepare than some other varieties, but lady grey is a delightful more gentle take on the classic.
Bigelow Constant Comment - Look, this tea isn’t going to blow your socks off, but it’s not meant to. But what it is is a very solid, middle-of-the-road, classic baseline tea that’s easy to prepare well and hard to mess up. A very solid standard choice.
Orange & Cinnamon - Any brand, doesn’t have to be Twinings, they’re just consistent and regularly available. Getting a bit more into the fruit and spice flavor here, but this is always excellent and taste like autumn memories.
Jamine Pearls - Doesn’t matter the brand here at all. You’ll probably be able to find them in pyramid tea bags, but these don’t actually require tea bags. These are an excellent starter green tea as they tend to be mild, and watching the pearls unravel is a famously pleasant tea-drinker experience. Not everyone’s vibe, but definitely worth trying.
Mighty Leaf African Nectar - This one is a little bit harder to find, and is technically an herbal tea (a tea made of non-tea plant leaves and materials), but is absolutely wonderful, and super beginner-friendly. If you can’t find this, look for any “rooibos” teas that contain the words “honey” and/or “red” without too many superfluous flavors.
As for making the tea, look, I know this will sound obvious, but read the package and follow the directions. For some reason when it comes to both tea and pasta, people constantly think they know better than industry experts, do their own thing, and then complain about the results. Every tea is going to have its own preparation preferences, so it really is best to trust the experts, at least at first. After you’ve had a cup or two as recommended, then you can adjust to your own preference; I personally know I like to steep my teas a bit longer to make them a bit stronger and more bitter, but you gotta get that baseline first to know how to adjust. And then for serving, I’m a sugar guy myself. Not a ton, but even just a tiny amount can significantly enhance the flavor. Honey is a good option too, but doesn’t pair great with every tea in my opinion. And for some reason a lot of Americans get weird and pissing contest-y about taking their tea black, but don’t be afraid to try a splash of milk or half & half, just start small and increase in small increments until you find what you like. Personally I go no dairy about 90% of the time, but the times I do feels like a nice treat. If you’ve got Brunost on hand, drop a square of that in your cup, trust me, and a stroopwafel is never a bad addition either.
And sweet tea is an entirely different beast which I am extremely passionate about and of which none of the above applies, fyi.
I love your comment and just need to make some suggestions if you havent tried:
You say orange and cinnamon but if you can get it, orange, cinnamon, vanilla and blue cornflower tea is heaven of the combinations. Hornimans makes one if you can get it or otherwise I get a blue cornflower earl grey and add the cinnamon (ceylon is better) and orange myself.
Also I think for people that like coffee suggesting a nice Darjeeling is good advice too. It’s just such a warm vibe with a nice bit of fruity sweetness and I find that Darjeeling seems to be taken more serious that even the bagged versions are nicer than standard black tea even from the same brand.
Coffee that tastes like burnt cellulose (not as you imply cellulite lol) has been left on the warming plate too long. It’s like complaining that tea tastes metallic and bitter: sure, it does if you do it completely wrong.
If you want to make good coffee, you need to use beans that haven’t been roasted too dark, then make it with the right parameters for good extraction, then put into a cup immediately and drink. Just like you shouldn’t warm up tea for hours before drinking it.
Great coffee can be drunk without milk and gone cold and it will still taste like some kind of strange and intense and delicious cherry tea.
I’m open to trying well-prepared not over-roasted coffee, but I have tried coffee (in general, undefined) many times and have yet to find it pleasant.
Funny enough, so far the only thing I’ve found close to enjoyable was espresso, but it’s never been the bitterness of coffee that bothers me (I tend to like more bitter things than average). I can almost enjoy espresso.
Indeed. Also, there are so many options when it comes to tea as opposed to coffee. That bitter bean sweat always tastes terrible. If you need to abuse your palate long enough in order to distinguish differences in the abuse, I’m out.
You’re not far off, there’s a kind of coffee called Kopi Luwak which is literally a shit coffee that’s been eaten by civet cat and then pooped out. There’s a similar kind of that coffee that’s been eaten and shit out by elephants.
Kopi is considered gourmet among coffee drinkers, but in my opinion it’s just cope considering someone sold them literal shit they juice into a cup using steaming water. Personally I cannot imagine the mental gymnastics to make the poopy brown bean shit-water a part of my morning routine.
That’s a huge grift on idiotic westerners with more money than sense. Coffee connoisseurs have deduced that Kopi Luwak is both literal and figuratively shit.
You might have been drinking burnt coffee. Truly well roasted beans should have notes of cocoa, only slightly bitter, and be welcoming, not a turn off.
Could a hacksaw cut through carbide steel or some other super strong alloy? Maybe the chain was made of some such material and it’s not that the saw sucked but that the chain was special.
Like, I have tools made to cut metal, but they don’t work on every metal.
I bought one of these saws. The guy at the store said “that’s a metal saw”. I said “yeh duh what else would saws be made out of.” I took it home and struggled immensely with sawing the wood trim I was using it on. It took me a solid SIX MONTHS to click in to what he meant when he said “it’s a metal saw.”
If you made a custom alloy blade that was harder than calcium carbonate but softer than steel, it would work.
Same idea with those dental tools you can get in the drug store, hard enough to chip plaque but soft enough to deform against enamel. Hypothetically can’t damage your teeth unless you get stupid and use it as a lever or something.
My dad saw a picture of that scene and immediately said “He could cut that pipe he’s chained to.” “But what if the blade is dull?” I said. “That pipe is cast iron. All he’d have to do is score it really good and then crack it with handle of the saw, or kick it lose.”
Dad knowledge. It must be something we get when we become a dad.
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