Not necessarily. If she was an anxious attached style she’d be more likely to fall for avoidant men. She could either:
Now recognize the red flags of avoidants and not subject herself to that.
Be unaware of the red flags of avoidants and keep making the same mistake
Recently left a long term relationship as an secure individual and discover how many avoidants really exist.
Of course you are right, she could be avoidant to, in which case hopefully she’ll learn sooner rather than later that fearing intimacy and vulnerability is detrimental, and that healthy codependency is actually a thing. But it’s not easy for them to do so.
I don’t like to think that everyone is incapable of finding someone, people just need to figure out why. Pointing out “single for a reason” seems counterproductive and a bit disrespectful.
I think “single for a reason” is what all that attachment theory shit is trying to help contextualize. It specifically sets the context as “single for a fixable reason” if you have the courage and humility to do the work.
I suppose I didn’t consider the act of an anxious attached falling for the avoidant attached as that “reason” I sort of chalked that up to luck.
But your right, anxious attachment tends to end up with avoidant and the anxious attachment needs to learn how to desensitize to intense passion often given by avoidants.
The anxious attached individual has a lot of work to do in regards to understanding their personal value rather than their value to others, where the avoidant has immense work to do on the value of others and the value of themselves.
Ok, I’m confused - can you quote the lines that werr dating advice? In no case was I advising anyone do anything, I was sharing the information I have learned on attachment theory. Providing possible insight. That’s not advice, that’s processing thought.
Not necessarily. If she was an anxious gemini she’d be more likely to fall for leo men. She could either:
Now recognize the red flags of scorpio and not subject herself to that.
Be unaware of the red flags of cancer and keep making the same mistake
Recently left a long term relationship as an secure individual and discover how many gemini really exist.
Of course you are right, she could be gemni, in which case hopefully she’ll learn sooner rather than later that fearing intimacy and vulnerability is detrimental, and that healthy codependency is actually a thing. But it’s not easy for them to do so.
I don’t like to think that everyone is incapable of finding someone, people just need to figure out why. Pointing out “single for a reason” seems counterproductive and a bit disrespectful.
I mean there’s plenty of reasons to be single at 35 that aren’t necessarily a knock against you as a potential partner. Long term partner cheated on you, long term partner died, long term partner grew apart, active duty in the military for 18 years, maybe the person threw themselves into work and was too focused on work to date or maybe they were caring for a declining family member and too busy to date, or maybe they were going through shit and they’re finally ready to date again after a lot of time healing and climbing out. You get the picture
While you're at it, switch over to DD/MM/YYYY for the date format. The only 2 configurations that make sense is that or YYYY/MM/DD. Either go general to specific or specific to general, MM/DD/YYYY makes no sense.
For purposes of this post though, RFC 3339 and ISO8601 are identical. Dates in the format YYYY-MM-DD, so 2024-08-29 is both RFC3339 and ISO8601 compliant.
It makes sense because of the way we say the date - eg today is November 21st, 1999. We don’t usually say it’s the 21st of November in conversation.
Eta: I wasn’t giving any value statement for the date order lol. Just explaining the rationale for why the date is written in that order - that’s how people talk. If linguistics as a concept bothers you, well… that’s on you.
Sure, other countries do and that’s fine too. I’m not saying it’s good or bad or placing any value on it because it’s not that big of a deal to me. And I used to regularly deal with this because I’d write dates for official international paperwork pretty often.
I’m simply saying the reason we order our dates the way we do, and are resistant en masse to changing it, has to do with the way we say the date and so it makes the most sense to the general public to write as we speak. I literally don’t care how the date is written because I can and have done both. I’m not prescribing action here either.
Here in the UK we would say “I will visit you on the 19th of September” for example. I have never heard anyone say the month first. It’s just different custom. We also drive on the other side of the road…! At the beginning it would have been helpful if the world would have agreed on a standard either way. Then it would stop confusion. (And less car accidents from people on holiday/vacation on the wrong side of the road! 😅
Right, we’d automatically just say September 19th here.
It’s also why we say September 11th, and why “4th of July” is said the way it is - it’s a special day so it gets ordered differently to draw attention to it and to make it appear like a more formal holiday, since saying Day of Month is considered a more formal way of speaking here. Juneteenth also follows the Month/Day naming scheme.
No one says that in the US like that lol. Like say that sentence out loud, that’s so long and exhausting and stilted for no reason. If my friend said the date to me like that, i would think they were upset about something or being weird. We’d automatically switch it over and say “August 31st, 2024,” or even “8/31/24” because when people ask for the date while writing a check, for instance, they are going to write it numerically anyway.
Idk what’s the point of your argument. To gaslight me in how everyday Americans talk?
“31st of what?”
You had to invite the other speaker in this scenario to mirror your format before they’d actually imitate the stilted way of saying “31st of August.” Not even in your fantasies do Americans talk like that naturally.
I’m not even saying we SHOULD keep it that way - it makes things confusing at times. Just that common use has kept it ordered this way.
I wouldn’t even notice it as unusual, even though it isn’t my usual order. It could vary by region or profession, or maybe it’s just you that notices it this acutely. In plain English emails and other narrative text, I always use “Sat Aug 31” (adding the year only when ambiguous), which is short but complete, and includes the day of the week, which is much more important to humans than the month anyway.
Months are the craziest, weirdest, stupidest measure humanity has used for this long. ISO8601 week dates make more sense, or even the French Revolutionary Calendar. Humans organize all of society by weeks, not by months. Compare last January to next January, or last February to next February for metrics. Do they have the same number of weekdays vs weekend days? Even if they do, do they happen at the same point in the month so you can compare the flow of the month? Now compare two weeks, and that’s apples to apples. Group by weeks instead of months and your irregular, bumpy graph smooths right out. We only hang on to Gregorian months out of inertia.
Months are one of the best ways for a low-tech/pre-tech culture to keep track of dates (using the Zodiac for something it can actually do—act as a calendar you can see no matter where you are in the world).
Keeping them around is a sensible fail-safe in case some nuclear power sets us back into the dark ages.
Mate, you can’t use basically anything today then. Your car probably collects data on you. I’m not saying I love it, but life’s too short for me to cut everything trying to collect my data out of my life. Gotta pick and choose my battles.
If you block ads everywhere else then it doesn’t really matter. Pi.hole, AdGuard, proton vpn, Firefox will all block ads for you on pretty much every other site on the planet.
Yeah until it gets shot by A/B testing again lol. I poverty newpipe, but foe somebody with a family it’s hard to justify, especially bc the non-techies of the fam are gonna want something that ‘just works’.
Same. I watch more YouTube than probably any other streaming service. Plus I got the family plan and I sell the extra seats to my extended family and friends. Works out to be pretty cheap in the end.
I do the same for Spotify, Disney plus. Formally Netflix but they cut down on password sharing
I don’t pay for either but I use both and the youtube music desktop ui is really really bad. Plus the annoying thing of it often playing music videos instead of the normal song. I definitely like it better on mobile though
You can toggle video or song. I actually like yt music way more because it can play pretty much anything on YT, including hours and hours of mixes you won’t find on Spotify.
I’ve had a different experience. When I have it on video, it’ll play the music video version, and when I have it on song, it’ll play the studio version. Maybe that doesn’t work for every song, but it definitely has worked that way for me.
Honestly it’s the social aspect. Everyone I know uses Spotify, so sharing playlists and tracks are super easy. I know there’s converters out there but I can’t be arsed to do that every time I want to send or receive a link. I’ve also got some shared playlists between friends we all contribute to. At social gathering I can turn on the party mode or whatever it’s called and let people add stuff to the queue. The big one though is I’ve got a few friends with really good taste. I can check in on them from time to time to see what they’re listening to right now. Found a lot of great stuff this way.
It definitely is better, but it sill has some stupid quirks that in some cases could probably be fixed by few lines of code, like not locking the screen when you are on the lyrics screen. It also is very slow to start-up in offline mode, which drives me nuts. But otherwise it is much better performant than Spotify and has better ways to listen to new music, instead of the dumb intelligent randomize feature on Spotify.
Like it or not the platform is full of people trying to make a living independently producing content. Most of them are not making very much money. Watching with an adblocker means they aren’t earning any revenue, which is unsustainable. Watching with a Premium subscription means I don’t see ads and they get more revenue (even more so than ad-supported views).
Those people aren’t massive corporations. They’re independent creators. And generally speaking the content I watch on YouTube is content I want to support.
I’m not trying to say it’s like, inherently ethically wrong to watch YouTube without ads or Premium. But it certainly isn’t ethically superior.
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