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Agent641

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Agent641 ,

If you dont finish your jegetables you won’t get any jessert.

Agent641 ,

Denim socks are actually really snug and I wear them every day.

Agent641 ,

Its all fun and games until she whips out the jondom.

Agent641 ,

Strategic missile command is an FN P90 confirmed.

Agent641 ,

If I were a mod I’d just mod it poorly. Accept bribes from users to gaslight and ban their enemies. Disable posting restrictions, wait for the spam to come, and just ban a shipload of people in response, then make posting restrictions unreasonably high. Make any mention of the name Goldstein an automatically bannable offence. Change the font to white on white for a day. When users complain, change it to yellow on pink. Shit like that

Agent641 ,

What are they gonna do, fire me from my volunteer job?

Agent641 ,

Do curved monitors work i portrait mode? I mean, from a practical perspective.

Agent641 ,

Just motorise the whole monitor so it slides to the left as you type. When you press enter, it snaps back to the right and makes a loud ‘ding’.

Make the monitor adjust to your eye position, not the vice versa.

Agent641 ,

So she can bring the turkey baster and try for a little brother.

Agent641 ,

Keep getting them at the shops, just stop buying them.

Agent641 ,

Always has been 🌏👨‍🚀🔫🧑‍🚀

Agent641 ,

This is why we proles need to stick together

Agent641 ,

Spices are expensive, but very easy to shoplift because they are so small.

Agent641 ,

New Guinea men often wore hollowed out gourds tied on with string over their knobs.

Agent641 , (edited )

What the fuck that sounds amazing and horrible!

Agent641 ,

Peachussy

Agent641 ,

If you ever do such a thing, use a boating flare to ignite and tape it to your hand so you cant drop it.

Fire extinguishers can put out a gas fire fairly easily and it wont reignite, but a burning flare won’t be easily extinguished so you should keep reigniting from the residual gas once the fire extinguishers run out.

Agent641 ,

Never say never!

Agent641 ,

Brain: No its still good.

Me: But I hate it. I never use it. Im going to throw it away.

Brain: No dont!

Agent641 ,

I have one fork with extra long tines. Dunno where it came from. But every time I grab it, I’m like “Yo, long boi! Youre not going to stab me this time are you?”

And the long fork does not assure me that its not going to stab me this time, because it does not like to lie.

Reddit Is Letting Power Users In on Its IPO. Not Everyone’s Buying (www.wired.com)

Reddit Is Letting Power Users In on Its IPO. Not Everyone’s Buying::Reddit says it wants to reward users by letting them buy into the company’s public listing. Some say it’s too risky—others say they won’t pay a company they’ve already given hours of free labor to.

Agent641 ,

The users generate the content. The users control ad viewership and thus revenue. Inviting power users to invest as retail investors is insider trading.

Agent641 ,

I got one, and though I’ve accumulated a bunch of karma, I haven’t been regularly active for months.

Agent641 ,

Breaking up with your girlfriend is now a capital crime in Alabammy because it kills your potential future children

Agent641 OP ,

Goo-gol? Stupid name. Ill just ask Jeeves.

Agent641 OP ,

Oompa-loompas are extinct. He needs enough money to clone them from mosquitos trapped in amber.

Agent641 ,

Dissolve the board of directors.

Sandy hook parents can choose what kind of acid to use.

Agent641 ,

Manner of death is important.

Murder? Statistically its safer than any other house.

Asbestosis? Run.

Agent641 ,

Internet person: “Army does nothing!”

Army corps of engineers building half of all critical infrastructure in the US: “Am I a joke to you?”

Agent641 ,

Read about General Smedey Butler. Vet of multiple wars, the most highly decorated man in Marines history, two medals of honour, he had the opportunity to be the US’s first dictator, but was ultimately an anti-war, anti-facist, anti-capitalist pacifist. He perfectly encapsulates how the army andvtge wars they have are just an extension of capitalist interests and act to further the capitalists desires.

Agent641 ,

Becoming a millionaire is surprisingly easy if you follow these steps:

  1. Make coffee at home
  2. Cut back on Avo toast
  3. Be born a millionaire
Agent641 ,

The jet is so large it actually has its own smaller jets inside to travel from the mansion to the wave pool.

Agent641 ,

And despite targeting a handcuffed person confined in the back seat of a car, they missed every shot.

Agent641 ,

The trick is to have a living soil. Without bacteria, mycelium, wild yeasts, and other microbes, you may as well be planting plants in moon dust.

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