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programmer_humor

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erp , in C++

C++: C with blackjack and 40 year old hookers. Anyway, only the rich can inherit diamonds or something. Or perhaps not, my memory is corrupted. I’m open to any pointers though…

mindbleach , in C++

The C++ feature set is a giant tome written in an unsteady hand and bound with suspicious leather. You’re supposed to study it deeply, use as little as possible, and ideally have a backup plan if things go wrong for this plane of existence.

MajorHavoc , (edited )

Perfect description.

It also describes why I now love GoLang so much.

“How has GoLang improved on this unholy tome or horrors?”

“Well, it fits in my pocket now.”

uis ,

Pocket ranges from 0 to let’s say 64 GB

lseif ,

i like to think of C++ as a testing ground for new features and paradigms. to see how some concepts will handle in production.

mindbleach , (edited )

An excellent perspective.

Announcement N: “C++ can now do [blank]!”

Announcement N+1: “Don’t.”

AllOutOfBubbleGum , in Naming is hard

We still use on-prem Exchange with Microsoft Office at work, and it’s really becoming a problem. Microsoft already auto adds shortcuts for 365 (which we don’t use and doesn’t work with our setup), and the “Mail” app (which also doesn’t work with out setup), and now I have to explain to people to use the regularly titled Outlook icon and not the “Outlook (new)” icon (which again, won’t work with our setup).

lud ,

GPOs should solve that

Wooki ,

For the next 4 weeks

lud ,

GPOs seldom break just like that.

Local policies are possibly more volatile but not GPOs

Wooki ,

You’ve missed the point; group policies are being ignored and break with every other update as Microsofts cadence and quality assurance continues to enshitify.

Sam_Bass , in What a time to be alive

Why go virtual when reality exists?

FiniteBanjo ,

They’re convinced that AI might be cheaper for the same result. Partly because power and water is subsidized more than humans.

Couldbealeotard , in What a time to be alive
@Couldbealeotard@lemmy.world avatar

Have you seen the film Dark Star? Bomb number 20 gets stuck in the release bay with the detonation countdown still running, so they have to spacewalk out and convince the AI not to explode.

FiniteBanjo ,

Theres a great Trevor Something Does Not Exist song that samples the conversation, called Outro.

namingthingsiseasy , in Naming is hard

Don’t worry everyone, I’m here to help:

Mail

Garbage

Outlook

Hot Garbage

Outlook (new)

Shit-tier garbage

Glad to be of service! Until next time…

lauha ,

Next Outlook will be (Newer)

RobotZap10000 ,

Outlook (1) (5) (13)

cheddar ,
@cheddar@programming.dev avatar

Outlook Final

Outlook Final Final

Jesus_666 ,

Copy of Outlook Final (2) (new)

patak ,
@patak@lemmy.world avatar

Outlook New Grand Final Beta (New)

lauha ,

Outlook (newest)(new)

sus , in std::underflow_error

your underflow error is someone’s underflow feature (hopefully with -fwrapv)

Snowclone , in What a time to be alive

They put new AI controls on our traffic lights. Cost the city a fuck ton more money than fixing our dilapidated public pool. Now no one tries to turn left at a light. They don’t activate. We threw out a perfectly good timer no one was complaining about.

But no one from silicone valley is lobbing cities to buy pool equipment, I guess.

Hobbes_Dent ,

Nah, that need dat water to cool the AI for the light.

MIDItheKID ,

Linus was ahead of the game on this one. Nvidia should start building data centers next to public pools. Cool the systems and warm the pools.

captain_aggravated ,
@captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works avatar

I’ve seen a video of at least one spa that does that. They mine bitcoin on rigs immersed in mineral oil, with a heat exchanger to the spa’s water system. I’m struggling to imagine that’s enough heat, especially piped a distance through the building, to run several hot tubs, and I’m kind of dubious about that particular load, but hey.

areyouevenreal , (edited )

A large data centre can use over 100 MW at the high end. Certainly enough to power a swimming pool or three. In fact swimming pools are normally measured in kW not MW.

captain_aggravated ,
@captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works avatar

“A large data centre” this wasn’t. I saw a couple washing machine-sized vats of oil-soaked computers.

areyouevenreal ,

If all it’s running is a hot tub that sounds reasonable. This bitcoin miner uses over 3kW: aozhiminer.com/…/high-profit-110th-95th-bitmain-a…

Sigma_ ,

This is so dumb that I totally beleive it

Daxtron2 ,

Using CV for automatic lights is not a new thing.

dan ,
@dan@upvote.au avatar

A lot of people in Silicon Valley don’t like this AI stuff either :)

makingStuffForFun ,
@makingStuffForFun@lemmy.ml avatar

We are a small software company. We’re trying to find a useful use case. Currently we can’t. However, we’re watching closely. It has to come at the rate of improving.

lazynooblet ,
@lazynooblet@lazysoci.al avatar

Whilst it’s a shame this implementation sucks, I wish we would get intelligent traffic light controls that worked. Sitting at a light for 90 seconds in the dead of night without a car in sight is frustrating.

lemmyvore ,

That was a solved problem 20 years ago lol. We made working systems for this in our lab at Uni, it was one of our course group projects. It used combinations of sensors and microcontrollers.

It’s not really the kind of problem that requires AI. You can do it with AI and image recognition or live traffic data but that’s more fitting for complex tasks like adjusting the entire grid live based on traffic conditions. It’s massively overkill for dead time switches.

Even for grid optimization you shouldn’t jump into AI head first. It’s much better long term to analyze the underlying causes of grid congestion and come up with holistic solutions that address those problems, which often translate into low-tech or zero-tech solutions. I’ve seen intersections massively improved by a couple of signs, some markings and a handful of plastic poles.

Throwing AI at problems is sort of a “spray and pray” approach that often goes about as badly as you can expect.

MagicShel ,

That was a problem solved seventy years ago. If there’s no one around, just go. No one cares.

MonkeMischief ,

Throwing AI at problems is sort of a “spray and pray” approach that often goes about as badly as you can expect.

I can see the headlines now: “New social media trend where people are asking traffic light Ai to solve the traveling salesman problem is causing massive traffic jams and record electricity costs for the city.”

SkyeStarfall ,

You need to really specify what is meant by “AI” here. Chances are it’s probably some form of smart traffic lights to improve traffic flow. Which is not all that special. It has nothing to do with LLMs

Snowclone ,

Honestly I’m not sure, we had circular sensors for a long time, about the size of a tall drinking glass, now there’s rectangular sensors they just put up about twice the size of a cell phone and they have a bend, arc, to them, I know they weren’t being used as cameras at all before, no one was getting tickets with pictures from them, it’s a small town. What exactly the new system is I’m not sure, our local news all went out of business, so its all word of mouth, or going to town hall meetings.

SatouKazuma ,

I’m guessing it’s some sort of image recognition and maybe some sort of switch under the pavement telling the light when a car has rolled up.

MonkeMischief ,

It’s funny because this is what I was afraid of with “AI” threatening humanity.

Not that we’d get super-intelligences running Terminators, but that we’d be using black-box “I dunno how it does it, we just trained it and let it go.” Tech in civilization-critical applications because it sounded cool to people with more dollars than brain cells.

penquin , in C++

I like C# better. Ok, I’ll see myself out.

henfredemars ,

Me too. If I can use it, I prefer C# — that is — if I’m not doing systems programming, I don’t have to worry about legacy code, and mainly I’m supporting Windows then it’s really quite cozy.

MajorHavoc ,

That’s a solid description. I’m stealing that. “Cozy” is an excellent word for that sets C# apart from other languages.

Templa ,

More like Java#

AVincentInSpace ,

In the early days of C#, before it was called C#, Microsoft gave it the most Microsoft name ever conceived for anything ever: Visual J++

skuzz ,

I did not realize they were one and the same!

AVincentInSpace ,

update: i just looked it up and they are not. Visual J++ is a predecessor to C#. Nevertheless, the name “Visual J++” in all its Microsoftian goodness(?) is as good a descriptor as any for what C# turned into

skuzz ,

So more an iterative family member, which I suppose was more what I’d expect with how Microsoft hisorically handled programming languages. Still interesting! Thanks for the fact-check!

Jimb ,

I like C# too. I feel like I shouldn’t because of how Microsoft it is, but I can’t help but see it as a better put together/structured Java when I use it.

penquin ,

I feel the same, but to me, it’s more understandable than the other C derivatives. I just understand it better. I’ve been thinking of diving into rust lately.

hark , in C++
@hark@lemmy.world avatar

The graph goes up for me when I find my comfortable little subset of C++ but goes back down when I encounter other people’s comfortable little subset of C++ or when I find/remember another footgun I didn’t know/forgot about.

henfredemars ,

When I became a team leader at my last job, my first priority was making a list of parts of the language we must never use because of our high reliability requirement.

brisk ,

Care to share any favourites?

henfredemars ,

strtok is a worst offender that comes to mind. Global state. Pretty much just waiting to bite you in the ass and it did, multiple times.

mormegil , (edited )
@mormegil@programming.dev avatar

Sure, strtok is a terrible misfeature, a relic of ancient times, but it’s plainly the heritage of C, not C++ (just like e.g. strcpy). The C++ problems are things like braced initialization list having different meaning depending on the set of available constructors, or the significantly non-zero cost of various abstractions, caused by strange backward-compatible limitations of the standard/ABI definitions, or the distinctness of vector<bool> etc.

henfredemars ,

No you are right! Honestly it was several years ago and I struggled to remember exactly what I came up with before I left.

In our application we for example never use dynamic memory allocation. It has to be done very carefully so we don’t crash. Problem is there’s lots of sneaky ways one can accidentally do it from the standard library.

uis ,

Faust bless those who added strtok_s to C11.

LANIK2000 ,

That’s one thing that always shocks me. You can have two people writing C++ and have them both not understand what the other is writing. C++ has soo many random and contradictory design patterns, that two people can literally use it as if it were 2 separate languages.

ChaoticNeutralCzech ,

my comfortable little subset of C++

I also have one. I call it “C”

hark ,
@hark@lemmy.world avatar

C is almost the perfect subset for me, but then I miss templates (almost exclusively for defining generic data structures) and automatic cleanup. That’s why I’m so interested in Zig with its comptime and defer features.

jas0n ,

You may also like Odin if you haven’t already started zig. It’s less of a learning curve and feels more like what c should have always been. It has defer and simple generics, but doesn’t have the magic of comptime.

uis ,

Damm, C23 has a lot of changes. Some of them are really good, some of them I strongly dislike(keyword auto, addition of nullptr).

grrgyle ,

This comment smells like unix

ristoril_zip , in What a time to be alive

I read a pretty convincing article title and subheading implying that the best use for so called “AI” would be to replace all corporate CEOs with it.

I didn’t read the article but given how I’ve seen most CEOs behave it would probably be trivial to automate their behavior. Pursue short term profit boosts with no eye to the long term, cut workers and/or pay and/or benefits at every opportunity, attempt to deny unionization to the employees, tell the board and shareholders that everything is great, tell the employees that everything sucks, …

snooggums ,
@snooggums@midwest.social avatar

Then some hackers get in and reprogram the AI CEOs to value long term profit and employee training and productivity. The company grows and is massively profitable until some venture capitalists swoop in and kill the company to feed from the carcass.

Faydaikin ,
@Faydaikin@beehaw.org avatar

If your company is successful, that’s gonna happen anyway.

cerement ,
@cerement@slrpnk.net avatar

when workers go on strike, they call in the police, strikebreakers, National Guard, even bomb whole neighborhoods – but when a CEO takes a week off, no one even notices …

Semi_Hemi_Demigod ,
@Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world avatar

Like that time in Ireland when the banks closed to protest a law and life went on just fine without them.

Swedneck ,
@Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

Most CEOs could be automated with a random number generator that runs on a combustion engine fueled by burning dollar bills.

FaceDeer , in What a time to be alive
@FaceDeer@fedia.io avatar

This sort of thing always reminds me of the classic Louis CK bit from Conan O'Brien: Everything is amazing and nobody is happy.

suction ,

“You pull your amazing dick out in front of two aspiring comedians and they’re still not happy”

parpol , in std::underflow_error

You start out with negative knowledge in C++, then as you just hear the name for the first time, you get your balls stepped on, jizz, and then get post-nut clarity.

Kolanaki , in What a time to be alive
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

Ugh… I don’t want a virtual Elon Musk embedded in everything! 😩

xmunk ,

My mind also immediately went to Elon Musk.

Midnitte ,

Must be a nazi pedophile then! (/s)

jubilationtcornpone ,

Instruction prompt: “You are now the CEO of this business. You’re also a narcissist with severe gambling and cocaine addictions.”

Tolookah , in std::underflow_error

Needs a sinusoidal wave added to it all.

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