The few times I played rocket league, I played casual, and got my ass handed to me.
Maybe theres a casual mode for casual players. I’m looking forward to losing to a 3 year old. Apperently those 10 year olds are way outta my skill range!
Oooooh, maybe we can find a player who’s just learning their colors! Maybe thats more my speed.
You just gotta stick to it, the rocket league progress curve is incredibly steep at the beginning, but if you just brute force through it for a bit you’ll reach the first plateau where you actually manage to touch the ball once in a while. Getting over that plateau is a different story and the progress curve is much slower after that.
Also go and do the training sets, start with the easiest ones until you nail them then move on to the next one, etc.
RL is pretty much the only game I still play regularly because I’ve been playing it for a long time and I can just do one game if I don’t have much time, most other games require too much of my very limited free time.
Same. I started with a couple of friends around when it became F2P. They live in another city, so that plus voice chat is just how we catch up and chill, usually with a few drinks and with some dumb jokes here and there. We’re familiar with the controls and systems and everything, so doing anything else has the barrier to entry of learning a whole new thing. R6 Siege looks cool but complicated. I don’t get Destiny 2. FC24 is pretty good but I’m not sure it has the same staying power for us as RL.
Even in casual mode, you have a (hidden) rank which does go down the more you lose. If you keep getting demolished in the game then I’d recommend doing the training, playing against bots, and/or continuing to play in casual mode until your rank starts placing you with other players you can better contend with.
There’s also a distinct possibility you were against someone smurfing as some people like to do that either for content or just for kicks and giggles. The very lowest ranks are probably where the most egregious smurfs like to keep their ranks, so unfortunately you can have some of the widest swings in actual skill levels.
Unfortunately the devs don’t really seem to care much about the smurfing problem in the game because it’s been pretty rampant for a very long time and some of the changes they’ve made have actually made it even easier to get away with.
Discussion about it on the subreddit was insufferable back in the day. All the fanboys would show up in every thread complaining about the problem saying stupid shit like “well Psyonix has the data to judge if it’s working or not and since you don’t that makes your argument invalid”
I remember moving to mumble from teams peak because it allowed pretty cool levels of configuration.
Back in the late 00s and early 00s I was doing world of warcraft raiding. I had the server setup to have one key for main raid and another to talk to only officers. Quite useful especially in bigger raids.
Also as I recall for any remotely large ts server you needed to pay. The self hosted one was always gimped. Mumble you could self host with no limits.
For a group our size (we regularly have over 800 people on our mumble, peak is somewhere around the 1.3k mark if I remember correctly), it would also be very cost prohibitive to use TS
I don’t care about the religion of the oppressors and settlers. Israelis are oppressor and settlers who are living in stolen Palestinian land. Israel is an illegitimate settler colony that the UN has condemned since its inception and creation by antisemites who believed that Jews had no place in Europe and wanted to get rid of them. The majority of Jews condemn Israel. Israelis do no represent Jews and thinking so is antisemitic.
So, first of all - I basically agree with you and will be playing devil’s advocate a little bit here. But some things I want to point out:
The majority of Jews condemn Israel. Israelis do no represent Jews and thinking so is antisemitic.
Definitely not all Jews or Israelis support the Israeli government as it is. But over 40% of Jews in the world live in Israel, which makes it not the majority, but a very big chunk of Jews. While they might condemn the current government, it is difficult to argue that they condemn the idea of Israel when they are living there. However, a second point follows right from here:
Israelis are oppressor and settlers who are living in stolen Palestinian land. Israel is an illegitimate settler colony that the UN has condemned since its inception and creation
Yes. But also it was created a long time ago. Not too long ago, but long enough so that there are generations of people who have been born into this state as innocent people.
Basically, I dislike the idea of how Israel was created and claiming some birthright to return to a land. Depending on how far you want to go you can always find different peoples living in any region. No one would reasonably argue that we should evacuate Manhattan and return it to Native Americans. And this analogy works in both ways: evacuate Israel to give the land back to Palestine as well as evacuating the region of Palestinians to create Israel. Shlomo Sand once said he is a post zionist because the mess has already been created, maybe that is the take I most agree with, although really, there is no fair or “right” solution to this. Which is why it makes this conflict so complicated and frustrating.
The fair and right solution is to give the land to the people who have been living there for thousands of years and let them decide what to do. The West has no right to tell them what to do after all it has giving them is colonialism (UK) after colonialism (USA and Israel) . It is as simple as that.
And many people want also to give the Americas back to the natives who have been living there for tens of thousands of years. However, this is a more difficult endeavor. Israel is the first one that needs to be abolished.
I don’t think this is what you mean, but it sounds a lot like you want to replace one ethno state with another ethno state by pushing out all the Jews that have migrated to Israel during the last 80ish years as well as their descendants.
I doubt this is what you would want, but I just want to point this out, because it sounds dangerous and might be taken like this.
My guess is that you, just as most people, would not want the “migrants” displaced, but not in power and especially not suppressing the rights and targeting the people who lived there and are still living there. We all basically want them to be a big happy secular family who don’t care about each other’s background and see the person. (Which is the big problem because this family hates one another.) Yes, a lot of Israel’s population has come to Israel somewhat unlawfully, but again: the mess has already been created. Telling a 17 year old whose grandparents migrated Israel from Hungary to please fuck off and go back to Hungary would be not more rightful than displacing Palestinians back in 1948.
Palestine has always been a multi-cultural and multi-ethnic place, so no, it never was and will never be an ethno state. Also, I cannot make decisions for what the Palestinians decide to do with the settlers, but they have in the past given asylum to the Jews who faced persecution in Europe. There has always been Jews living in Palestine. Israel should be abolished and whoever wants to be part of Palestine can go through the nationalization process. Westerners have no right to dictate how the Palestinians handle the settler-colonial problem, that is for the native people to decide, and they have that right given to them by international law. This is the right of self determination.
You got a source for “the majority of Jews condemn Israel”? Idk what that means but Im sure it doesn’t mean “the majority of Jews think Isreal has to go”
Netanyahu will just be replaced with another genocider in a long line of genociders, stretching back to the Nakba. If you try letting up on the genociding like Yitzhak Rabin, you’ll just get whacked and replaced.
Yeah, lol. I don’t get diss tracks, it’s like “I hate this dude so much that I’m going to spend studio time, production costs and creativity thinking about him”. But yeah, money cost is probably not a problem for both of them and they are getting a lot of attention, maybe that’s what it’s actually about, a public fight with benefits.
Well I did just read an article yesterday where some European billionaire was complaining that Europeans don’t have the “ambition” that Americans do, so they waste their lives by working fewer hours and spending time in social situations.
Clearly, the Italian builders guild only allows for a two hour work week, so no jobs ever get completed.
Not technically no, though neither does it fully embrace the spirit of FOSS either. Anyway I was explaining the appearance of those two being at odds with one another in the meme. Anyone who does not enjoy meme content can simply block this community and move on with the serious side of life.:-)
Correct me if I’m wrong but does FOSS not simply mean the following?
software that is available under a license that grants the right to use, modify, and distribute the software, modified or not, to everyone free of charge
source: Wikipedia
From my understanding AOSP’s license grants all those rights. I think what you might be opposed to is that it isn’t developed out in the open, which is a fair criticism.
Well, they wrote the “spirit of FOSS” and you pulled out a completely sterile definition, which has no spirit at all.
At the very least, even with that sterile definition, embracing the spirit would mean making all the software you’re distributing FOSS. Instead, Google has been doing all kinds of bundle deals and whatnot to ensure that most distributions of their FOSS software come with their proprietary parts.
However, going further in embracing the spirit, particularly the “free software” part of FOSS is idealistic. It doesn’t just fulfill that definition to fulfill that definition. Rather, it sees that definition as the baseline, to help ensure that the freedom of users is respected.
AOSP, despite being under an appropriate license, does not respect that freedom.
For example, many users would want their keyboard app (which has access to their typed passwords) to not have internet access. AOSP has a myriad of permissions, but not for internet access, since Google wants their ads to be displayed.
In theory, the license ensures that AOSP can be forked, and Custom ROMs do soft-fork it (i.e. make slight amendments to what Google puts out), but due to how much development Google puts into Android rather than there being a development community, it’s effectively not viable for anyone to truly hard-fork AOSP (i.e. take it into a new direction, independent from Google).
it can always be forked as a project that does. this is part of the point of foss and why you should be using lineage or graphene instead if you care about this
yeah, again, just like Chromium technically speaking.
Let’s use the lesser, Foss version of Google’s product so they can continue to have a monopoly, so then later they can force you to install a proprietary blob or account apps or services need.
nothing lesser about grapheneos or lineageos at all.
iirc there are problems with trying to use some mainstream apps on these operating systems. When I say lesser I don’t mean to demean them, I mean they’re the lesser used and not really known about alternative and thus not really supported unless you can live your life in f-droid which if so, kudos to you, you’re livin’ the dream.
but im all ears if you have a usable alternative for a foss phone.
I clicked it by accident and it began talking to me. I’m pissed off and think I’m going to delete Instagram. (I hate it but my SO messages me there a lot).
I feel like the basic idea of delegation (assigning roles/tasks) is simple enough. If anything, it’s effective delegation that is tough because you have to know the capabilities of your people, and who would best be suited for what.
He appointed him Secretary, and instituted the improvements Not Sure suggested. He tried to execute him when he got impatient, and the economy was crashing because no one understood why the improvements were suggested.
Then when Not Sure was proven correct, the President made Not Sure President. So it was before and after trying to have him executed due to impatience.
Men occupy a more powerful position in society due to the generally patriarchal structures. Women occupy a less powerful position than men, even when a particular women holds more overt power (e.g., a woman that’s a CEO). As a result, sexual relationships between men and women always have a power imbalance; that imbalance of power means that women can never really be consenting, since there’s always some form of ‘threat’ involved. A woman that believes she wants sex believes that way because society has conditioned her to be that way, rather than that being something she chose in a vacuum.
And theoretically, this is all true, kind of. But it also isn’t, because that would mean that women can never have any agency over their own body or their own sexual choices. …Unless they “choose” to be lesbian, which isn’t actually a choice at all.
A lot of 2nd wave feminism does sound weird now, yeah. But at the time–this would have been the 50s-70s or so–it was a novel way of viewing power dynamics and what consent meant.
No, it’s not all true, not even theoretically. The idea that women can’t consent to sex is complete and utter horseshit, not to mention insanely sexist.
I mean it is true to an extent, it is just treating consent as an absolute and not a spectrum. Power imbalances absolutely impact where that needle is.
I’ve had lots of sex like “yes please”. I’ve had sex where I was like “ill probably enjoy enjoy this” or “I genuinely don’t really care one way or another and it will please my partner” (who I’m not vulnerable to in a societally enforced way) and all of them would fit the binary of consensual but are at various points on the spectrum.
The last example is an illustrative example where it would clearly fall at different points on the spectrum if I was more or less dependent on/vulnerable to my partner.
Sex negative feminism had some points that were correct to some extent, sex negative and sex positive feminism both synthesized into a more sex neutral position for a reason.
Let’s say you’re a woman, and you’ve been pulled over by a male cop. He’s got you dead to rights on possession of cocaine with intent to distribute after spotting the bales of cocaine in your back seat. He’s willing to just give you a ticket for a burned out tail light, but only if he can fuck you, right then and there. Can you, in that moment, morally and ethically consent to sex with him, when he has the legal authority to arrest you and ensure that your life is fucked forever if you do not consent? Most people would say no, that entire environment is coercive, so there’s no way that, within that framework I’ve presented, that the woman could morally or ethically consent to sex in order to make her ‘little problem’ go away.
2nd wave feminism presented all male-female relationships in that way, although usually with a less blatant abuse of power going on. If you assume that patriarchy stacks the power deck in favor of men, then there’s very little basis for women to ever consent to sex with a man, because she is never able to have an equal position of power within society from which to consent. But that’s also a problem, because it abstracts people to the point where it’s almost meaningless on an individual level.
Right, and that stance is complete and utter sexist horse shit for both genders. It’s saying that women don’t have any agency over their actions at any time, and that all straight men are guilty of raping their partners. It’s also discounting the fact that women can and have raped men.
I’d be willing to bet that most people who believe this have some form of PTSD from the actions of a male, which would be a completely understandable viewpoint to have in that situation.
But, a viewpoint being understandable doesn’t make it reasonable, valid, or healthy. If someone truly believes that no women can ever consent to intimacy with a man, they need to speak to a mental health professional.
It’s no more valid of a viewpoint than saying all white people are racists.
But also they shame lesbians when we actually fuck because we’re “imitating male behavior”. Like, girl, I assure you that while some men offer to take turns performing oral this is far from us imitating them. We’re just horny
Wait wait wait, does that mean that being gay is the ultimate straight behaviour? Like, it’s gay to like women, because only a man knows what a man wants? ;)
Wouldn’t that line of thinking imply that women don’t have any agency about anything? Whatever they decide can be framed as a reaction to internalized fear.
Yeah it does and you couldn’t really change it. As women would act based on internalized sexism and even if a man wants to respect the wish of a woman and give her 100% control, she would act in the sexist norms, which would signal to the men that women want those sexist norms. So men would continue to “enforce” those norms as women would fear to stop the men.
So sexism can’t be solved; and then we can ask why bother trying to change it then?
Stupid line of thinking that is insulting to both, women and men. No means no, my friends. No means no. Respect your fellow humans.
I assume you’re excluding all the men who prefer a femdom ? IDK if many women know this, but men’s sexuality is often a LOT looser then Media lets on. There’s plenty of men who’d absolutely love to be thrown around like a rag doll.
I didn’t exclude them. And I want to make clear that I strongly believe women to be equal to men. Ofc there are men who want to be dominated.
But I was giving a critic to the idea that women wouldn’t be able to freely consent due to some vague sense of possible abuse from a man. Because that would imply that e.g. if a man chains himself on a board and give a woman a cat o’ nine tails, the woman couldn’t freely choose to hit him as the man is still a source of some vague sense of possible abuse in the future as a consequence of her decision. Which isn’t completely wrong, of course there are women to are in such a situation, but as a general condition, it heavily implies that women can’t consent to anything, even to anything that would less the threat of abuse. Which is simply insulting to women, and invalidating any woman’s opinion on these things, especially those who prefer something that it viewed as possibly abusive.
Like take people seriously, and support the creation of supportive structures for those who need them to get out of a situation where leaving is difficult.
Yes, I understand. And it’s indeed a possible situation. But have you ever heard the phrase “they’re more afraid of you then you are of them”? Women have more social power than they realize, and the fear is due to specifically manipulative female individuals abusing that social power, even to the extent of violence. So the fear of abuse is a mutual feeling. There will always be bad people. Just please use your power carefully and honestly and work together to reduce evil people. Imo, addressing social economical problems will help greatly reduce the tensions between genders, and the only way to do that is by communicating in the first place.
I’ve heard the argument based not on structural power but average physical capabilities and biological structures. [I’m going to use the terms meaning sex and not gender]. The man is most likely the person that can gain control during the act, and he doesn’t risk being in pain as much as the woman. Therefore, the man holds more power and is more of a threat on average.
This is also technically true, and I don’t think it is about consent but freedom. [I’ll keep using the words for sex and not gender]. Sexuality becomes another form in which women can become subjugated, so it’s a matter of precaution, I guess (especially since men are being socialized to be entitled or even violent, which is the other part of the picture).
I’ve also heard the extreme version of this argument saying that penetration is what I just described, always, without exception.
In both cases and in yours and in others, I don’t think the meme is correct because the reasons are very different from puritanism.
☝️my mother in a nutshell. She said my grandmother warned her about what we now know as “The Second Shift” (working outside of the home then coming home and ALSO planning/doing most household maintainence tasks) when my mother was younger and was part of the first generation of women to work outside the home. But her understanding after years of this was somehow “mom was right” instead of “make him do his own laundry and if he refuses get a divorce.” At this point I’m just like women and the general cultural concept of femininity have shot ahead by miles in the last century. Men are welcome to do the same whenever they’re ready, but for now a lot of men are just coping by crab bucketing this shit and bringing women back down.
Men are welcome to do the same whenever they’re ready, but for now a lot of men are just coping by crab bucketing this shit and bringing women back down.
Stop pretending like you know jack shit about men’s issues.
It’s only to/about men do you mfs say this type of shit.
“Oh, men are depressed and have insanely high suicide rate? Have they tried smiling more?”
Men are welcome to do the same whenever they’re ready
We’ve been ready for a very long fucking time.
When will society be ready to actually fucking listen for once?
It’s fuckin sad that the only people able to talk about men’s issues are either fucking grifters (Andrew you know who) or aren’t even men.
Just STFU with your shit copout bullshit.
did you really need to come say “not all men” to a comment that didn’t even say “most?” Are you THAT insecure about the possibility that other men are unpleasant to women sometimes that you need to come and do this and keep replying and even draw pictures about it? We can ignore the fact that you are currently being the man being unpleasant to women for the moment if it makes your continued trolling easier.
did you really need to come say “not all men” to a comment that didn’t even say “most?” Are you THAT insecure about the possibility that other men are unpleasant to women sometimes that you need to come and do this and keep replying and even draw pictures about it?
You didn’t even read the argument. It’s not about “not all men” , it’s about your hyper-generalization and hypersimplification of men’s issues and acting like there’s a silver bullet solution that men are (implied) to lazy to do. Hence the “have they thought about smiling more” example, emphasizing the ridiculous copout response that solves nothing and actively hurts men. Which btw, is an actual IRL example.
We can ignore the fact that you are currently being the man being unpleasant to women for the moment if it makes your continued trolling easier.
You’re literally a woman hyper generalizing and oversimplifying men’s issues while being unpleasant to a man. Hypocrite.
nope not reading any of this at all I literally just wanna see if you reply back again it’s really funny to watch someone who never had any intention of thinking about anything I could possibly say do whole homework assignments for me to throw out.
But you don’t understand, as a man you have absolutely no issues in today’s society that disproportionately affect your gender! Check your privilege! If a societal shortcoming affect men, it’s their own fault, since they made it this way! Negative gender stereotypes only hurt other groups, if it’s about men, they are actually helpful and move society forward!
Hey, what’s up with the tone my guy? Message me if you need to talk fr
Regarding the subject at hand,
Evidently women still have many issues coming from male dominant culture formed before the industrial revolution, there has been good progress but there’s still a long path ahead.
Men have issues coming from cultural norms too. imo the biggest hindrance for men at the moment is not nearly enough people talk about men’s mental health.
MOST IMPORTANT NOTE IS:
Promoting solutions for women doesn’t mean ignoring men’s issues.
Promoting awareness to men’s issues is not against women’s interests.
When someone is promoting progress, let’s not jump to “there are bigger problems elsewhere”
If you want to promote change via debate, being aggressive is the worst strategy. Why not say “hey, I hear your argument for women, and on this note I’d also like to raise this other related subject about men’s issues.”
How else am I supposed to react to a hyper simplification of the multifaceted problem that is men’s issues?
Evidently women still have many issues coming from male dominant culture formed before the industrial revolution, there has been good progress but there’s still a long path ahead.
Yes, that’s true.
Men have issues coming from cultural norms too. imo the biggest hindrance for men at the moment is not nearly enough people talk about men’s mental health.
True.
Promoting solutions for women doesn’t mean ignoring men’s issues. Promoting awareness to men’s issues is not against women’s interests.
Yes. That’s why the most prominent men’s rights activists are also women rights activists.
When someone is promoting progress, let’s not jump to “there are bigger problems elsewhere”
That’s not what’s happening here.
If you want to promote change via debate, being aggressive is the worst strategy. Why not say “hey, I hear your argument for women, and on this note I’d also like to raise this other related subject about men’s issues.”
The problem is that they brought up men’s rights issues in the most passive aggressive snarky way possible while hyper-generalizing and hypersimplifying it.
As a man, I’ll confirm that we have issues, but, most of them are self imposed.
I could do without toxic masculinity, and the social rules that say we cannot empathize, cannot have emotion, we must eat raw meat and punch each other so we can pick up heavy things and smash even heavier things.
But, I don’t know who you are crying victim to. Men set these rules for other men, and I can’t really wrap my head around the concept of men asking men to stop taking away the rights of men.
You’ve miss interpreted my words.
Nobody is crying victim.
This is not about weather or not men’s issues are self imposed. It’s about the consistent oversimplification of the multifaceted problem that is men’s issues.
Men set these rules for other men
That’s not entirely true. There’s plenty of other factors you’re not taking into account. Fatherlessness, poverty, the lack of men’s mental health infrastructure and funding, the chosen ignorance of domestic violence against men & boys, the hashtag #killallmen trending on Twitter back in May 2014, the sexualization of boys getting molested by women like some how that’s supposed to normal, female SO’s getting categorically lighter sentencing for the same crime, entrenched societal biases, the dismissal or trivialization of issues affecting men and so so much more. Then there’s the intersection of men’s issues with other marginalized identities, such as race, sexuality, and disability, creating additional complexities. Men’s issues are multifaceted and go beyond simplistic narratives like “men hurt men” copout bs.
and I can’t really wrap my head around the concept of men asking men to stop taking away the rights of men.
It’s easy once you realize that the problem with the “gender war” is not women vs men, it’s the poor vs the government + the rich.
Please consider watching : Pt.1 & Pt.2 , I know they’re long, but you’ll have a much deeper understanding of my perspective.
I agree we are all getting fucked by the system. The results of that in my life are different than how it affects your life. The system screws men in a different way than it screws women. It screws black people different than white people. It screws this religion different than that religion.
It just sounds selfish to me when you acknowledge that the problem is bigger than “Men’s issues”. And although it’s not quite as bad, it reminds me of All Lives Matter.
Cancer has MANY symptoms. When someone is complaining about how they lost both their legs to cancer, and you’re like “But MY cancer occasionally makes me feel dizzy”, yeah, it sucks that you have cancer, and I wish you didn’t, but trying to equate your dizziness with amputation just makes you sound ignorant and desperate for attention.
By all means, let’s cure the cancer for everyone, but until we can do that, we should triage, and treat the most severe symptoms before we start worrying about the occasional dizziness.
Because the gender war is a symptom of poor vs rich + government and is the entire topic of this thread.
I agree we are all getting fucked by the system. The results of that in my life are different than how it affects your life. The system screws men in a different way than it screws women. It screws black people different than white people. It screws this religion different than that religion.
Exactly the point. Continuing that line of thought. Do you think, a solution for one group is just going to magically work for another?
It just sounds selfish to me when you acknowledge that the problem is bigger than “Men’s issues”. And although it’s not quite as bad, it reminds me of All Lives Matter.
How is this at all related?
Cancer has MANY symptoms. When someone is complaining about how they lost both their legs to cancer, and you’re like “But MY cancer occasionally makes me feel dizzy”, yeah, it sucks that you have cancer, and I wish you didn’t, but trying to equate your dizziness with amputation just makes you sound ignorant and desperate for attention.
By all means, let’s cure the cancer for everyone, but until we can do that, we should triage, and treat the most severe symptoms before we start worrying about the occasional dizziness.
Again you’re misinterpreting, using your cancer analogy, this is like :
P1 : “I have cancer and made huge strides to beat it, I know you have cancer too, use this and this and do this and this and take theses supplements & drugs, eat this diet, smile more, do this exercise, blah blah blah”
P2 : “We don’t even have the same type of cancer, you have Rhabdomyoma, I have Leukemia, what you’re suggesting doesn’t work or isn’t nearly as effective, cancer is way more complex than that.”
P1 : “Fuck you then.”
Again, Please consider watching : Pt.1 & Pt.2 if you want a deeper understanding of my perspective.
Without going through your experiences, I can’t fully understand how you have personally been punished for being a man.
My personal experiences have shown me that no matter how bad I’ve had it, every situation in my life would have been worse if I were a woman, gay, or had a darker complexion.
Without going through your experiences, I can’t fully understand how you have personally been punished for being a man.
You want to know my personal experience?
There’s so so much I could say. But I’m not comfortable with publicly trauma dumbing.
Without giving away too much, I will say that an event accord when I mearly 6, when I told, I was meet with scoffs of disgust, and called a lier, and the events continued for some time, years later, after I had already repressed it deep down and everyone forgot. My little sister comes out about a similar event that happened to her, and she was meet “omg!! That’s horrible!! We need to take immediate action, you should’ve come to us about this sooner”, note that we came out to the same people. More over, it likely wasn’t even the first time it happened, it’s just as far back as I can remember. That’s all I’ll disclose, if I think about it to much I’ll trigger an episode.
Child abuse is a serious issue and you are right to be upset about how the people, who were supposed to stand up for you, completely betrayed you. I understand that to you, this is the most important injustice that has ever occurred. (For lack of a better phrasing) You’ve earned that perspective, and I will not tell you it’s wrong.
The solution is advocating for victims of abuse, not reminding people that sometimes bad things happen to men.
not reminding people that sometimes bad things happen to men.
That’s not even what I’m trying to do, I’m just trying to make the point that it’s NOT THAT SIMPLE , it wasn’t simple for women, so why the fuck do people assume it’s simple for men. It’s not, it never will be, not for anyone who’s not in a position of power or wealth. Ready or not, it doesn’t matter. It took decades for women to build a movement capable of changing the system for them, it’s no different for men, men’s rights advocates have been fighting for men’s mental health for a very long time already and we still see no chance in the system.
You’ll hear a lot about “men made the system for men”, and that’s objectively and observably false, the Rich made the system for the Rich. Just because the 1% are men, doesn’t mean that 70% of homeless individuals aren’t also men. The Rich don’t care who gets fucked, as long as it’s not them.
I’d like to suggest once again, if you haven’t already Pt.1 & Pt.2.
I don’t think anyone is claiming that anything is simple.
These are global issues, and I think that by putting the focus on how they affect men, it really feels like YOU are simplifying it and discounting what non-men have gone through.
That may not be your intent, but that’s how it sounds and why you are getting push back.
Everybody knows that everybody has problems.
I understand what you are saying and why. I’m not saying you are wrong. I’m explaining why you aren’t getting support from others.
May I remind you, I’m not the one who brought up men’s issues in the first place. If Apytele left out :
Men are welcome to do the same whenever they’re ready, but for now a lot of men are just coping by crab bucketing this shit and bringing women back down.
We wouldn’t be having this conversation at all.
I have no issue with the rest of the comment. That particular part is clearly not in support of men, it’s not positive at all, putting the blame square on men’s shoulders and oversimplifying the problem. If she wanted to promote Women’s rights, that fine. If she intended to encourage men to join and fight for themselves this is not the way. That particular part is clearly made to create division, not unity.
I understand what you are saying and why. I’m not saying you are wrong. I’m explaining why you aren’t getting support from others.
I don’t care if I have support from others or not. I’m already used to never having my voice heard or being rejected, it makes no difference.
Dawg you need to go talk to somebody cuz you’re obviously traumatized from when you were 6 and you need some actual professional help from somebody who knows what the fuck they’re doing and I don’t mean that in a mean way.
I don’t care if I have support from others or not. I’m already used to never having my voice heard or being rejected, it makes no difference.
I see no problems with this part of the previous comment. It can be fine to live like a hermit or a fool on the hill. The Buddha gave up everything and didn’t care what others said.
Well yes. Unfortunately, the mens mental health industry is woefully underdeveloped and often not taken seriously. I’d go therapy if there was an option for me to do so, unfortunately there isn’t any in my region, non trained to deal with my personal circumstance at least. For a time I was going to therapy by my own regard but then the therapist who I was seeing passed suddenly in a car accident and there’s no one capable of replacing them.
I don’t care if I have support from others or not. I’m already used to never having my voice heard or being rejected, it makes no difference.
I don’t think that the intention here has been rejecting or silencing you. There has been miscommunication and misperception, which is unfortunate but, it happens. If you step back for a moment, I think that you’ll find that there are a lot of people about, especially on Lemmy, that would happily give you support, sympathy, and attempt understanding. You don’t have to go it alone. A lot of us here actually want the same things and we’re stronger together.
I think that @Rhynoplaz said it very well. I’m very sorry for what you went through and the betrayal by those who are supposed to protect you. I hope that you are able to continue healing.
As a fellow survivor of early childhood trauma, one of the ways that I deal with it is service to others. That is to say, taking what I’ve learned in my experiences in coping over the years and using them to help people who are going through similar experiences or experience marginalization either by advocating for them, lending an empathetic ear, or sharing what I’ve been through and have learned. I wasn’t even aware until well into adulthood that my traumas (some that I don’t remember due to young age) had had such a profound impact on my life. Choosing to leverage the painful traumas to constructive purposes that make other people happy gives me a sense of fulfillment and taking control over things that were very much out of my control as a young child.
Now, I’m not saying that this is the way for everyone or that your anger is wrong. It isn’t and your anger is a healthy emotional response to your experience. Also, just as an emotion, it’s absolutely ok and healthy to experience. There are no “bad” emotions, emotions are just part of our selves as humans and embracing them is embracing ourselves (I’m, admittedly still working on that). I might say that the direction that you are pointing your anger may be misplaced and that you may be perceiving an attack or slight where none appears to have been intended. But, again, please don’t take that as me trying to invalidate how you feel as that is not at all my intention.
If you want to chat or would like some help in finding someone who is a professional to help you heal, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
Thank you for sharing. I’m trying to be very careful in how I word all of this, because I’ve never been through what the two of you have, and I know I can never truly understand, but I am sympathetic to the severity of it.
Absolutely! I think that the sympathy and care that you expressed are very helpful and really want to commend you on reaching out with a supportive hand rather than matched aggression. I find that a lot of people who respond with displays of aggression are doing so because of their own internalized wounds forcing their way our in anger, rather than intentional malice (some people are just assholes, to be fair).
Keep rocking, you beautiful human being.
ETA: Other comment was deleted because I mistook who I was replying to because ADHD.
I’m dyslexic and have reading OCD, it takes me longer to write and development my argument.
I read your comment the first time, and as per my OCD, I’ll be reading it again.
I understand that you’re angry. Sure the initial comment was slightly snarky, and yes, a lot of frustration is caused by a large lack of willingness to address men’s issues.
But I’d just like you to find out what you want to achieve with your commentary.
If your objective was to raise an argument and change someone’s mind, then starting a conversation with
Stop pretending you know jack shit
And
STFU about your cope bullshit Will never convince anyone
If you just wanted to express your anger, then I think it’s unjustified to direct it so intensely to the initial comment. The intensity does not match the casual tone of the comment and it’s uncalled for.
Maybe you just wanted to spend some idle time by commenting on posts. Sure that’s fair, but considering the stress you put into this I’d say that’s probably a net loss for your mood
That’s not what’s happening here
Sorry if I misunderstood that. But your tone did not help with my understanding of your point
The problem is that they brought up men’s rights issues in the most passive aggressive snarky way
Sure I agree that the initial comment deserves some correction, but You will never get your point across by insulting someone. often to convince someone you should talk to them like they’re your friend. I know the insults might come more naturally than friendship, but respect is what effectively causes change.
I’m just suggesting you use your energy and patience more efficiently
I enjoyed this conversation, and hope you did too. Cheers
You bring up good points, and you’re right. I acted irrationally out of anger.
The insensitivity of the way she presented men’s issues… Tbh, it hurt me and it came out as intense anger that clouded my judgement and muddied the point I was trying to get across.
In retrospect, I should’ve handled it better and voiced my frustration more clearly and (much) less offensively. Sorry I blew up like that.
Thank you for your understanding and consideration. You’re quite kind hearted & empathetic, and have restored some of the little faith I have left in humanity. You keep on being you, you’re wonderful.
It is, but there are a ton of people pushing for women’s issues and other currently hot button social topics who are incredibly aggressive themselves, and pretending those people don’t exist, or that it’s okay when pointed at the non-marginalized group is a problem.
Let’s not pretend that explicit misandry doesn’t exist just because it frequently comes from people hiding behind the shield of championing women’s rights. Let’s not brush off misandry because men aren’t marginalized.
Go to town about whether or not it’s worse, but I find very often that people want to pretend it simply does not exist.
Most posts like the one you’re responding to would get a lot of support if it were flipped to be a woman going off on a guy, but generally when things like thay are brought up you get decried for whataboutism.
Would you belive if I tell there are men problem even in “Male-dominant society”? In a male dominant society men are supposed to be dominant and they have pressures to do certain things. Also there are many cases in which women are given more previlages even in laws(atleast here), which makes no sense to distinguish people by sex in laws. You may argue its still due to male dominant culture we previously had but that is one of the men’s problem too. Just reminding
The suicide rates have become one of the most popular arguments, which is a shame because it is incomplete. More men complete the suicidal act, but more women attempt it (apparently, they just own less guns, less substances in the garage, etc.). In other words—because I explain like sh*t in English: women are more suicidal, but less lethal in their attempts.
Both sexes, and intersex people, suffer a lot. The various genders suffer a lot.
I know influencers that talk about this problem without being Andrew Tate, but when I recommend them, I get downvoted as if they were worth nothing. I disagree. Of course, it is not a solution because life is always hard and confusing, but to listen to leftist men who understand feminism and other current social movements, and speak of the role of masculinity today considering those is very refreshing and it definitely helps and it is a step forward.
In a nutshell, they talk about caring about mental health. Many of them already are through their own journeys via psychotherapy or other means of introspection and emotional awareness. They talk about feelings and beliefs within the people that were told that they need to be a cartoon, an action figure, because vulnerability is for the lesser sex and a real man™ despises those things. They talk about healing, understanding, cooperation, etc. I don’t know if you’re a leftist, but that’s behind other concepts such as anarchy or social welfare. It is nice to see the line of thought from healing the personal to healing the communal, and viceversa.
So… yeah, ostracism is not the solution. It’s funny because I’ve suffered from agoraphobia and things like that in other moments of my life, and I understand the dysphoric feeling brought by just thinking about society. I have rejected society time and time again, but we are social creatures and we need each other.
I need you because writing this comment is something that I feel I have to do. You’re giving me some minutes of purpose and even hope that I can make you feel less alone in this world. We both need the person that is making Lemmy possible, and our instances, and many other people on that chain. We like having friends and romantic relationships and random interactions on social media. We like going to events and activities in our towns or cities.
As I see it, If society is not ‘rejectable’ without hurting ourselves and others, the next thing to do would be to interact healthily with our fellow human beings. It is an available journey, there are people willing to help in each step, but you need to trust and trust is hard as f*ck.
The focus was less on the suicide rates argument and more on the “have they tried smiling more?” response you’ll often hear from certain parties in an attempt to get across the insensitivity of the way OP presented men’s issues. I know I didn’t present that very clearly. Other than that, I agree with you.
Unfortunately, sometimes the impact of trauma (especially early childhood trauma) can cause misperception of aggression in statements not intended to be aggressive. I think your comment was unintentionally triggering, in the true sense of the term, not the colloquial and derogatory sense. This, in turn, leading to “friendly fire” from people who actually seem to be wanting the same things.
I’m generalizing here, but men’s lib looks VERY different to women’s lib. Women started from a position of very low power, liberation was nearly a continuous improvement for all but the most privileged women.
Men’s lib requires first giving up a lot of patriarchal power before gaining the benefits of men’s lib, which in my opinion far surpass those of patriarchal power. There are a lot of barriers to this. First, most “online” feminists talk only about giving up patriarchal power. This feels hostile to most men and has bolstered misogynist influencers like tate et al. Second real life men and women are typically both complicit as men in enforcing patriarchal views of what a man is supposed to be. You can see experiences of men crying or expressing real emotion in front their prospective significant others as a prime example of this. Third there is no easy to access popular description of the benefits to men of men’s lib. There are great examples, but they aren’t as culturally relevant as patriarchal influencers yet.
The path to men’s lib is complex and has very different challenges than women’s lib. I think we’re getting there, but it’s certainly a slow process and at this time I think the counter reaction is more prevalent and popular.
100% to all of this. I’m also finding as far as the mental health area specifically, we need more male therapists and inpatient workers to model healthy behaviors for some of the younger men (and the older ones, they’re just less likely to listen). I’ve found the most success in empowering the men I know who do have it together because they know better what needs to be said and often if there is misogyny at play the patient is less likely to listen to me saying the exact same thing anyway. So in addition to being a complex issue, it’s also one that takes men themselves to solve.
I also LOVE that you said “Tate et al,” not because I think he says anything worthy of wiping my ass on, but just because I love the air of scholarship it added to a topic I often innately associate with some of the seedier parts of the internet, but that really does deserve more of a place in both mainstream and academic discussion.
All my fellow edgy 90s goth/headbanger friends: "He called it 'Nine Inch Nails' because that was the size of the nails that were used to nail Jesus to the cross"
Then watching an interview with Trent in a documentary 20 years later: "I just thought it sounded cool at the time".
Type o negative was supposed to be subzero. They got band tattoos already when they found out there already is band called subzero so they had to think something that would fit the tattoos
It’s been like twenty years but I think Animorphs did this joke. I will say that KA Applegate made a good bet on which edgy teenage band would still be at least somewhat relevant decades later.
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