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AllNewTypeFace ,
@AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space avatar

Apparently this design was popular in Germany a hundred years or so ago. Its key advantage was allowing the user to examine their stools for signs of digestive health problems.

squid_slime ,

its so annoying having to use tongs :/

altima_neo ,
@altima_neo@lemmy.zip avatar

You don’t have a knife?

cdf12345 ,

Not “a” knife. “The” knife.

bstix ,

I know the joke and all, but recently the local theme park has replaced their toilet brushes with toilet rubber shovels. They work surprisingly well. They can both hack’n’slash a log, but also the back side is also ripped so you can use it to brush out the regular shit from the sides, while avoiding the dreaded paper clutter and other issues with a toilet brush being used by thousands of people daily.

It’s like toilet brushes evolving into poop knives. Looks like this: pin.it/OKHBRlxjI

slothrop ,

This guy cleans commodes.

SGforce ,

Culture shock #2. A public American toilet may require “thousands” of toilet brushings daily.

Tell me you were exaggerating… Right?

bstix ,

Yeah well, I’m not counting. On busy days, the toilets have queue lines all day long. Depending on the length of the visit and the willingness to use the brush, it’s probably in the hundreds, or at least a lot more than anywhere else.

TwoBeeSan ,

Explains shit fetish or vice versa?

alvvayson ,

Yep, but nowadays they are losing popularity. I don’t even know if you can still find them.

Diplomjodler3 ,

We Germans like to take pride in our workmanship.

Slovene ,

*workmanshit

MasterNerd ,
@MasterNerd@lemm.ee avatar

I thought it would just be for less splashing

dubyakay ,

It’s definitely for less splashing. I hate the North American bowls that spray your ass when your turd dunks.

Agent641 ,

I dont need to examine my stools to know my digestive heath is horrific.

Nikls94 ,

It’s so you can examine your stool, you might have some blood or a consistency you don’t like, that way you see it

wreckedcarzz ,
@wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world avatar

Wake up, coffee, breakfast, shit, see how much of last nights meal was really digested, shower, shave, work

Typical morning, idk what the big fuss is

GBU_28 ,

I’ve never not been able to detect something like that with a water-under toilet

floofloof ,

It also helps you gauge the poop’s internal temperature using the back of your scrote, if you are endowed with fairly loose balls.

ape_arms ,

Long balls!

unexposedhazard ,

I know the meme is that people use it to look at their poop, but honestly the main advantage is the 0% chance of water splashing up. I will take this design over the “standard” ones any day.

FriedRice ,

But what about just poop on some toilet paper, make no splash, and the smell is still not so hard, as with the dutch/German toilet

supergrizzlybear ,
@supergrizzlybear@pawb.social avatar

You haven’t thought of the smell!

altima_neo ,
@altima_neo@lemmy.zip avatar

What kind of rock hard dookes are you laying?

woelkchen ,
@woelkchen@lemmy.world avatar

Probably standard European fibre rich turds.

shadowedcross ,

Have found that putting a little bit of TP in the water before commencing the act helps a lot to avoid Poseidon’s kiss.

somewhiteguy ,

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XNDM4eAn1U

floofloof ,

I once stopped in urgent need of a toilet at the dirtiest little gas station in the middle of nowhere, where the one guy on duty directed me out back to a foul, stunningly filthy toilet. After doing my business I arose and, turning to face the toilet, flushed. It was an old flush mechanism where the water just kind of fell in from all sides, causing a kind of trapped tsunami to eject a single drop of fresh poop water 7 feet up in the air and down straight into my mouth.

If my many decades of life have taught me anything, it’s to close my mouth when flushing or scrubbing the toilet.

SonicBlue03 ,

This is how you go Dutch.

walter_wiggles ,

Yeah but where’s your poop knife?

hoch ,

ah, je mean de poop clogs?

jedibob5 ,

It sure does.

Cuzscience ,

That’s what the three shells are for.

Transporter_Room_3 ,
@Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website avatar

Pfffffffff he doesn’t know how the three shells work!

Snowpix ,
@Snowpix@lemmy.ca avatar

Wait, so I’m not supposed to throw them at other cars in traffic?

Transporter_Room_3 ,
@Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website avatar

Well, I’d never want to rain on someone’s parade.

Lob away!

Pantsofmagic ,

I’m still trying to understand which of the three shells is the correct one to use as a poop knife

Cuzscience ,

We all are. It’s one of the bonds that keeps civilization alive. Keep searching !

AuntieFreeze ,

The mashitty?

I_Miss_Daniel ,

Just use a shit stirrer.

aquinteros ,

aaah I get this reference

PenisDuckCuck9001 ,

What if I don’t want to observe my turd on an elevated toilet bowl pedestal every time I take a shit?

i_stole_ur_taco ,

You have to do the ‘ol’ push ‘n flush and hope you got the timing down.

Turns out your shit sitting exposed on a dry shelf smells exponentially worse than when it drops into water. Anyone still using these toilets in the 21st century is a psychopath.

Slovene ,

You seat on it reverse.

lud ,

The fact that it’s called “reverse” makes it clear that it’s not intended to be used that way and is thus stupid.

SirQuackTheDuck ,

You’d be shit out of luck

Diplomjodler3 ,

Story time: I once briefly lived in a place that had an old toilet bowl like this. You can still find them in older houses. One day I took a massive shit and then found out that the flush wasn’t strong enough to get it down from there. And there wasn’t a brush. Yikes. Just wanted to share that with you guys.

valkyre09 ,

Origami toilet brush made from toilet paper. Yikes

Spezi ,

The trick is to put 3 pieces of toilet paper in beforehand, that way the whole shitboat can float away.

pineapplelover ,

Actually? Or are you joking?

Spezi ,

Actually. Source: We has this style of toilet at my parents house.

evergreen ,

I like to imagine the shitboat floating away in flames like an epic Viking burial.

Linnce ,

So what did you do next? I’m thoroughly invested in the story

someguy3 ,

Did you use the poop knife?

absGeekNZ ,
@absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz avatar

I came here to reference this, great work.

set_secret ,

Usa drops kids off at pool, the dutch stack shelves.

Nuke_the_whales ,

So your shit just piles up on the upper part till it kisses your asshole?

TheRisingApe ,

We referred to it as the poop shelf on our last visit.

apfelwoiSchoppen ,
@apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world avatar

Decades ago we called this the poop shelf as well.

sxan ,
@sxan@midwest.social avatar

Um… if you’re holding on to that much shit, you may want you see a doctor.

Frozengyro ,

You’ve clearly never seen an American eat. 3 triple burgers, a large fry, and a milkshake is the standard dinner while dieting.

SynopsisTantilize ,

People who downvoted you are weak stomached non Americans

Frozengyro ,

I’m sure those who down voted shame their ancestors by leaving food on their plate.

user224 ,
@user224@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

I have some experience with these. The only problem is that as the vertically standing excrement begins to collapse forwards, there is a chace for it to keep contact and drag its top portion across, from your anus towards the front. You can avoid this with a maneuver, pulling yourself up and slightly forward, right after the singular vertical log begins losing contact with the excretion area.

This is not a joke

AnomalousBit ,

Give this person an honorary degree in Turd Dynamics. Have you considered publishing your findings in the journal Nature?

jaemo ,

Turdonomy AND Turdology, a double threat!

ivanafterall ,
@ivanafterall@lemmy.world avatar

A.k.a. “Logology.”

AnomalousBit ,

The Real Deuce of studies.

SynopsisTantilize ,

It’s trying to touch your balls isn’t it…?

bhamlin ,

The Great Mighty Poo’s Knight

doingthestuff ,

I haven’t had a nice log come out in decades. Enjoy them while you can.

ALoafOfBread ,

Males need 37g of fiber daily for optimum health. That’s the equivalent of 568g of raspberries or 657g of green peas or 1,154g of broccoli. Might wanna start taking some psyllium husk so you don’t get ass cancer.

random_character_a ,
@random_character_a@lemmy.world avatar

Calcium carbonate anti-acids tend to make good logs.

Siegfried ,

Haven’t you thought of shitting in a backwards sitting position?

I prefer the kiss of poseidon over the casualities of deforestation

Simulation6 ,

It gives you the opportunity to examine it. I think that is the reason for the design.

floofloof ,

And to savour the undiluted aroma.

zero_spelled_with_an_ecks ,

Since it’s already coming out, is it a French/Australian kiss?

kia ,

Just sit facing the wall.

Pilon23 ,

That way you can use the shelf for your chocolate milk and comic book

baggachipz ,

You should see the Dutch Oven….

Socsa ,

For an extra 5€ I’ll show you a Dutch Trombone

ReallyActuallyFrankenstein ,

I’m confused, isn’t this a better spot for the drain hole? When you sit facing the wall? So you have a shelf for your comic books and chocolate milk?

flambonkscious ,

Ah, touché

Sabre363 ,

How else are you supposed to flush your nuts

Jumpingspiderman ,

German toilets are like that too.

Phoenix3875 ,

Comments on toilets of France, England, and Germany by Slavoj Zizek: youtube.com/watch?v=8mtZmBvat4k

Another good bit (not in the video) is that Zizek thinks that’s why Germans can endure great pain and sacrifices for an ideal…if you are strong enough to observe your shit for health reasons, there’s nothing you can’t do!

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