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6k9rfrs2ee , in Keep honking!

Is your wife 120kg?

thesporkeffect , in "Hey Google, Turn my balls off"

Id do this if you could get LED ground effects attached to the bait&tackle, good for the dramatic reveal

Sabata11792 ,

The RGB just makes you nut faster.

Lycist ,

Go full RGB, acquire “Gamer Balls”.

thesporkeffect ,
Nikls94 , in "Hey Google, Turn my balls off"

Actually you’ll need to cum 3-5 times with the switch off to eliminate the chances of impregnating someone!

It’s that way when having a vasectomy

Haaveilija , in Heathens!

The conversation is heating up

SlothMama ,

*heathing up

owenfromcanada , in Some of y'all need this
@owenfromcanada@lemmy.world avatar

They gonna kis

saigot , in "Hey Google, Turn my balls off"

Hook it up to a clapper and live life dangerously.

owenfromcanada ,
@owenfromcanada@lemmy.world avatar
MonkderDritte , in Space Alert

Did it go roaming in the inner system again?

niktemadur , in shitpost

“Back when dishwashers made a lot of noise.”

“WHAT?”

“I SAID BACK WHEN DISHWASHERS MADE A LOT OF NOISE!”

“I CAN’T HEAR YOU MY DISHWASHER MAKES A LOT OF NOISE!”

NatakuNox , in "Hey Google, Turn my balls off"
@NatakuNox@lemmy.world avatar

Ya but can I have my switch installed near my taint?

SpruceBringsteen ,

Careful what you wish for

NatakuNox ,
@NatakuNox@lemmy.world avatar

(👁 ͜ʖ👁)

2xsaiko , in He's aware he's AI generated
@2xsaiko@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

God it reminds me of that one painter who got dementia and you could see his drawing ability deteriorate as it got worse. Disturbing

activ8r , in Heathens!

Something about that guy’s eyes makes me uncomfortable. Like they don’t match his expression in a way I can’t describe.

Squorlple , (edited )
@Squorlple@lemmy.world avatar

He’s got resting Oppenheimer (2023) face

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/bce5a2bf-6b60-4514-ba36-2716f3935f4c.jpeg

“Now I am become Heath, destroyer of worlds”

aeronmelon ,

“Resting Oppenheimer” sounds serious.

Viking_Hippie ,

If your Oppenheimer is in resting position for more than 12 hours, seek medical care.

andrew_bidlaw ,
@andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works avatar

Their color in a close-up made me think he’s a shapeshifter, probably a werewolf or a were-tiger.

HonoraryMancunian ,

Eugene Tooms vibes

pigup , in Get sticked
stoi ,
rockerface , in "Hey Google, Turn my balls off"

Imagine opening a phishing link and suddenly your balls are taken hostage by a hacker

ImplyingImplications ,

WannaCry? No, WannaCum.

cuttlebughug ,

Can still cum, just no sperm 🥲

MeatPilot ,
@MeatPilot@lemmy.world avatar

Future kink

cooopsspace ,

“Pay me 5 Bitcoin or I’ll give you an errection in front of the HR manager.”

rockerface ,

Even worse

“You are now on a per-boner subscription plan”

cooopsspace ,

They could just straight up drain your balls and leave them drier than the Sahara desert.

Theme ,

Don’t kinkshame me

kokesh ,
@kokesh@lemmy.world avatar

Or someone triggers this remotely after it has been off for like 2 years. You sit on Monday morning meeting. You get up to the screen to present your new project and boom.

SeekPie ,

Csnnot pee anymore :(

Tolookah , in "Hey Google, Turn my balls off"

After you get snipped, it’s potentially weeks/months before you are shooting blanks, a switch like this is less of babies/no babies and more like babies/accidental babies.

Edit: sorry for facts on shit post

GroundedGator ,

This was my first thought. I could see this being a medical procedure in place of a vasectomy. Get switch (or something less likely to get bumped) installed and set to off. Then when you want to have kids, another procedure to turn the switch on.

People keep looking for a quick fix for male sperm control, I didn’t think it is possible. At least not as a off and on solution that keeps coming up.

iiGxC ,

Maybe this plus a urethral spermicide enema?

Tangent5280 ,

I think you’ll need to go deeper than just the urethra.

iiGxC ,

Yeah, but you still gotta go through it

Viking_Hippie ,

I was in a band called Urethral Spermicide Enema. We were the least successful string quartet in the Florida panhandle.

iiGxC ,

Did you have to get a USE to join the band?

BarrelAgedBoredom ,

Should’ve gone to Gainesville

ReputedlyDeplorable ,

Yes here is an article about it. Article

The relevant part. “The binary nature of the Bimek SLV might make it seem that you can switch off your potency at will, but the body will need time to flush existing sperm out of the system, as it were. The ever-helpful FAQ says that it may take up to three months, or “until about your 30th ejaculation.” Whichever comes first is a question only you can answer.”

Tangent5280 ,

30th ejaculation? pfft, hold my beer and watch this.

CosmicTurtle0 ,

That’s like half a day. What am I supposed to do with the other half?

GoodEye8 ,

Beat your meat in the missus?

bobs_monkey ,

Gotta wait for the clear bill of health

robotica ,

You’re lying. 42 a day is the limit.

billiam0202 ,

Yep. For anyone who’s that serious about not having children, that’s more like an incentive.

Source: got snipped.

clif ,

When I got mine, the doc said I should wait about two weeks then “ejaculate as frequently as possible” before returning for the scheduled checkup/semen test.

Doctor’s orders! 🫡

TexMexBazooka ,

Lol I was given the same advice.

“Go home, rest up for two weeks, the bust as much as you can before you come back and get tested”

surewhynotlem ,

I’ll hold your beer, but I’m not providing an audience.

fossphi ,

Screw this guy. I’ll cheer you and bring you water when you’re done

CosmicTurtle0 ,

Yeah…you need to be hydrating if you’re fapping several times a day.

That’s just good science.

tacosanonymous ,

Weirdest gdq speedrun ever?

FiniteBanjo ,

To clarify why, it’s because sperm travels through those tubes for at least 5 days before reaching maturity and then once in position can be ejaculated by a pressure differential caused by the prostate (that bulb thing between the balls and urethra). So an effective switch with an instant effect would need to be placed before but directly adjacent to the prostate which could have potential complications when the prostate attempts to dry fire with the feed shuttered.

The solution is clearly to add a synthetic pressure bladder. (Don’t, I’m joking).

Volume , in be on the lookout for the giant rake from the sky
@Volume@lemmy.world avatar

An oldie but goodie from Mad TV youtu.be/UjAZnGeBcgg?si=LZBLTrqa-XE1FQ3o

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