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teamevil ,

I’m beginning to think Pizza guys are the heroes we need

Track_Shovel ,
@Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net avatar

They give us what we all crave: stuffed crust

half_built_pyramids ,

More pizza deliveries die on job than blue guys. Where thin bread line

Comment105 ,

Italian crust, front lines drenched in the marinara of the fallen

MeDuViNoX ,
@MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works avatar

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/d1d539fa-7c59-4f53-bf44-1eea2bbd3b79.jpeg

Glytch ,

Those blue guys don’t even make the top 20 deadliest jobs

Glytch ,

Pizza guy here, the best way to show gratitude is with a large gratuity.

GBU_28 ,

Gratitude all over me don’t worry about my hair

TheFrogThatFlies ,

…wikipedia.org/…/The_Adventures_of_Dog_Mendonça_%…

teamevil ,

And to Amazon I go

Cheradenine ,

Hiro Protagonist would agree

loaExMachina , (edited )

That evening, someone didn’t get the pizza they ordered. They must’ve been pretty bummed about it. But Anon was certainly happier to eat it than they were upset to not get it, so total happiness increases!

OsrsNeedsF2P ,

Anon told his boss, so maybe boss ordered another pizza?

shneancy ,

yea most likely someone just had to wait double the time for their pizza, which can be as little as 20minutes

cactusupyourbutt ,

and no matter how miffed I‘d be about the longer wait, I would be very happy about it if they explained it

psycho_driver ,

I heard someone jumped off of that bridge that night due to being so bummed about not getting their pizza.

sugar_in_your_tea ,

I heard it was the entire family.

loaExMachina , (edited )

The way I heard it was different. I heard the whole family was part of a death cult had planned to kill themselves by ordering an anthrax pizza at a shady pizzaria. Anon shared that pizza with the delivery guy, but as the later started experiencing strange symptoms, anon was unscathed. He called an ambulance in time for them to save him, and while running tests on Anon, they found a so far unknown antibody that made him immune to anthrax and some other pathogens and that could be used to save others. This night, Anon probably saved thousands, both by helping uncover a death cult conspiracy and helping medicine improve. The family that had ordered the suicide pizza went to therapy and came out alright. A raccoon safely gave birth that night. She would’ve been ran over by the pizza guy had he not seen Anon and stopped. One of the little raccoons would later forage a garbage container, throwing out a pipebomb that was on it’s way. This allowed the bomb to be found and disarmed in time, saving dozens of lives, including Anon’s.

samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

https://64.media.tumblr.com/81577bccf2d51b738d3eda9b4afe646a/tumblr_inline_ozq2konT5e1rsxmgq_500.png

Olhonestjim ,

Probably the boss explained something happened and sent them another pizze for free or gave them a refund.

subignition ,
@subignition@fedia.io avatar

That pizza guy's name? Albert Einstein

bamboo ,

Directed by Christopher Nolan

Thassodar ,

Produced by Harvey Weinstein

match ,
@match@pawb.social avatar

/r/nothingeverhappens

kandoh ,

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem

Paranomaly ,
@Paranomaly@sh.itjust.works avatar

This is a good saying and sometimes true, but mental illness is usually a forever problem. I don’t say that to disparage it either; depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, and internalized abuse fucking suck and it takes a while to tear down the self preservation instinct to the point where an ending can seem appealing, even if just for a moment.

sugar_in_your_tea ,

This is why we need to legalize psychedelics. When paired with counseling, they can create moments where you can see alternatives, which gives therapy a solid shot at success even for advanced cases.

Lemminary ,

I’m 100% with you. I’m my case it’s not just seeing alternatives but feeling them that motivates me. I’ve felt them before, that things could be different from within me, and I want to feel them again.

GaMEChld ,

Eventually I realized that life itself is a temporary problem in the grand scheme of infinities. That realization kept me alive long enough to develop more positive coping tools.

pixeltree ,
@pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

A permanent solution sounds pretty nice

Hikermick ,

One person’s problem is over but everyone who cared about them has problems that are just beginning

boatsnhos615 ,

Works 100% of the time when completed. You can’t argue with results

Grass ,

the temporary problem of always being a corporate slave until I die anyways, and failing every attempt at running a business or getting a better paying job, etc. Health continually tanking, bloody poop, constant migraines, cognitive decline, way behind on taxes again, feeling stressed out by any and all social stuff, no motovation to do anything yet trudging on for no idea why, nothing is fun, earth is being killed by the ultra rich and nothing is working, the masses are becoming more stupid and only helping worsen everything. dunno probably more. it comes and goes for me. my animals still need me but if I didn’t have them I wouldn’t have the energy for more of this shit. Maybe if it didn’t cost so much to merely be alive, let alone do or have enjoyable things.

kandoh ,

All those issues are solvable, as long as you’re still alive

ArmokGoB ,

If you think this you’re incredibly privileged.

kandoh ,

I’m also incredibly handsome, too

HottieAutie ,

Good for you! 😄

Jolteon ,

I mean, to be fair he was literally out with a friend. A new friend, yes, but a friend.

Zagorath ,
@Zagorath@aussie.zone avatar

That is, indeed, the point of that line.

dwindling7373 ,

No, the point of that line is that he did not, in fact, told his parents about his suicide attempt.

Zagorath ,
@Zagorath@aussie.zone avatar

Sorry, but this is just very poor media literacy. There are several paragraphs detailing friendly activities, concluding with “he gives me his phone number and tells me i can come back whenever i want”, followed by the “i was out with friends” line. It’s very, very obviously implying that anon recognises they have made a friend.

And yes, also, anon did not tell their parents about their suicide attempt.

dwindling7373 ,

I guess it can be read both ways. Also, no need to be sorry, your media literacy is not as bad as you think.

ChexMax ,

I also think it’s about avoiding telling his parents about the suicide attempt

Empricorn ,

Yeah, that’s just objectively wrong.

CascadianGiraffe ,

Got stopped by a rando while trying to build up the courage to jump. Told him that my car was broken down and that’s why I was stopped in the middle of the bridge in pouring down rain.

He got out and offered to help me, despite the fact that it was 3AM and the rain was coming down hard.

Awkward.

The car of course started just fine and I thanked him and continued my drive home.

I doubt he had any idea the difference he made.

Empricorn , (edited )

was actually going to an hero

This is the most awkward fragment I’ve ever seen. Was it a typo? Autocorrect? Pasted in the wrong spot? All 3??

I can’t seem to fix it. Not what this post is about but it annoyed me, so now you have to be annoyed as well.

EDIT: Got it, it’s celebrating suicide. I never got into 4chan or their specific culture, and right now, that’s my sole source of comfort.

tweeks ,

A few comments below taught me that it apparently originates from this meme where it was a mix of a typo and a loving description of a suicidal person.

itslilith ,
@itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

wow, just when you think 4chan can’t sink any lower

Revan343 ,

Lol ‘sink lower’.

4chan is the bottom, there is no lower to sink.

Revan343 , (edited )

‘An hero’ is an old 4chanism that means committing suicide

psud ,

‘an hero’ means to suicide

SendMePhotos ,

Fuckin hell I’m old lmao. Anyone else with me? This was the standard speak of 4chan back in like… '07…'08?

Revan343 ,

Like '05, it’s old. Fuck. I’m old.

AdolfSchmitler ,

iirc it comes from a someone posting about thier son who killed themselves and made a typo saying “he was an hero” so naturally 4chan turned the phrase “an hero” into a way to say “to commit suicide”.

Empricorn ,

Thank you. That’s… awful.

Agent641 ,

Thats 4chan

ArcaneSlime ,

It isn’t exactly celebrating suicide, it’s kinda making fun of it in a way.

It started from some myspace post long long ago, in which some kid named Mitchell had killed himself and one of their friends or family members made a memorial myspace page about it including the typo “He was such an hero, to take it all away.” The post continues to use “an hero” multiple times, (h/o I bet I can find it, brb.)

/b/tards latched onto it pretty quick, and the meme became that people who killed themselves are “an hero” just like Mitchell.

Edit: Yup, found it. Thanks knowyourmeme.

“He was such an hero, to take it all away. We miss him so, That you should know, And we honor him this day. He was an hero, to take that shot, to leave us all behind. God do we wish we could take it back, And now he’s on our minds. Mitchell was an hero, to leave us feeling like this, Our minds are rubber, our joints don’t work, Our tears fall into abyss. He was an hero, to take that shot, In life it wasn’t his task, He shouldn’t have had to go that way, before an decade’d past. Now he sits there in my heart, this hero of mine, Always there to make me smile, Make me feel just fine. He had courage,that boy did, courage in his heart. To take that shot, To end his pain, To tear us all apart. But in the end, he died in courage. Lacking, nevermore, He died a hero, Mitchell did, And we’ll love him forevermore. We love you like an brother. We miss you so much. We will always love you, kid. Rest In Peace Mitch. ~Lila”

Reddfugee42 ,

Don’t let your worst day be your last. A large portion of people who survive true suicide attempts tell you they changed their mind as they jumped.

If you’re feeling suicidal, the solution isn’t to remove yourself from the situation. The solution is to get out of the situation that makes you feel that way. There are people who want to help you do that. Make the call ❤️

sugar_in_your_tea ,

remove yourself from the situation

Well, that’s literally the same thing, at least in my area. But point taken. :)

Reddfugee42 ,

Ha, I didn’t make it very clear, but yes, the solution is not to remove yourself from “them” but to get “them” away from you, whoever or whatever those aggravating conditions may be

bionicjoey ,

A large portion of people who survive true suicide attempts tell you they changed their mind as they jumped.

I’ve never been personally suicidal, but if there’s ever been anything that made me fear the idea of ever doing it, it would be “The View From Halfway Down” in Bojack Horseman (both the episode and the titular poem)

Restaldt ,

Bojack Horseman would have gone down in history as legendary if they had let that be the last episode. I didn’t particularly like the final episode. Maybe i just didn’t get what it was going for but the build up to what seemed like bojack dying alone through every fault of his own would have been an extremely fitting end for the series. Just my opinion tho.

I can’t rewatch the series because of that episode punching far too close to home and because i didn’t like the actual ending. Epic episode instant existential spiral.

bionicjoey ,

They were following the pattern of every other season where the penultimate episode is the one that goes for maximum dread and then the final episode pulls you back from the edge a bit. Personally I love the final episode. It wraps up a lot of the stories while still leaving the question of Bojack’s mental health open-ended.

captainlezbian ,

Yeah I think the show is better for its final episode

tweeks ,

Well to be fair, to get out of the situation that makes you feel that way is pretty similar as to remove yourself from it.

But I’m being pedantic, I do get what you mean of course. Personally I’m not really against ending ones own life per se, only the dramatic options that usually lead to all kinds of trauma should be looked at. We can handle this as a society with a gentle support for those who’d like to pass away.

It can be an acceptable solution to ones pain; but for the sake of your surroundings it should perhaps not be the first.

ArmokGoB ,

The solution is to get out of the situation that makes you feel that way.

Cool, I’ll just send you an invoice for my rent then.

Reddfugee42 ,

I’m not a charity, but there are many, when you decide to be strong and change instead of weak and taking it lying down.

ArmokGoB ,

I’m on an island. I’ve called every charity in my city. None of them can help. You have no idea what you’re talking about if you tell people they can just leave the situations that cause them distress.

Reddfugee42 ,

I said it’s what’s needed. I stand by that.

I didn’t say it was always easy. The fact is it’s often hard.

Akasazh ,
@Akasazh@feddit.nl avatar

I don’t understand the ‘an hero’ sentence, can someone enlighten me?

Switchblade ,

An hero means suicide.

Akasazh , (edited )
@Akasazh@feddit.nl avatar

I kind of figured, but not really how.

But through the power of internet search I found out:

knowyourmeme.com/memes/an-hero

JoeBigelow ,
@JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca avatar

He was an hero!

Sweetpeaches69 ,

Wow. The Internet is really and truly fucked.

Akasazh ,
@Akasazh@feddit.nl avatar

Oh sweeypeaches69 you’re just skimming the surface…

Baku ,

Someone hacked Henderson’s MySpace page and gave him the face of a zombie. Someone placed an iPod on Henderson’s grave, took a picture and posted it to /b/. Henderson’s face was appended to dancing iPods, spinning iPods, hardcore porn scenes. A dramatic re-enactment of Henderson’s demise appeared on YouTube, complete with shattered iPod. The phone began ringing at Mitchell’s parents’ home. “It sounded like kids,” remembers Mitchell’s father, Mark Henderson, a 44-year-old I.T. executive. “They’d say, ‘Hi, this is Mitchell, I’m at the cemetery.’ ‘Hi, I’ve got Mitchell’s iPod.’ ‘Hi, I’m Mitchell’s ghost, the front door is locked. Can you come down and let me in?’ ” He sighed. “It really got to my wife.” The calls continued for a year and a half.

Fuckin yikes. All that because of a typo.

kandoh ,

Reference to a 4chan bullying campaign against a family whose son killed themselves and they made a grammar mistake on the Facebook post.

Akasazh ,
@Akasazh@feddit.nl avatar

Yeah I found the reference and posted a follow up. But thnx for explaining.

psycho_driver ,

Anon left out the sweaty buttsex.

mriormro ,
@mriormro@lemmy.world avatar

Not everything is about sex.

bionicjoey ,

But also not everything isn’t.

boatsnhos615 ,

Uh…yes it is

son_named_bort ,

Are there any pizza places that deliver at 1 AM?

OldWoodFrame ,

There was a place near my college that delivered until 4am. Horrible pizza. Got it all the time.

AngryCommieKender ,

Mad Mushroom Pizza. I only know of locations in Lexington, KY, and Lafayette, IN. They may have opened a few more locations.

captainlezbian ,

Oh damn I forgot about them. Real good from what I remember

AngryCommieKender ,

The pizza is decent. The cheese stick are the bomb.

Crashumbc ,

Any reasonably sized city will have a couple joints.

Back when I was drinking heavily I ordered after the bars closed more than once.

Kolanaki ,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

There are 24/7 pizza places in sufficiently big cities. I think there are 2 or 3 here; I know there’s at least 1. As well as a Chinese place and a Mexican place that are bomb as fuck, especially at 2 in the morning.

Corkyskog ,

The rural mind cannot comprehend, to be honest.

Kolanaki ,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

Fr. I could definitely get food that late living in a small rural town; but I’d have to drive to the nearest freeway exchange where the places were 24/7 for travellers. We even had a Taco Bell and it closed at 11. Like wtf?

wieson ,

Borrow some apples from the orchard, even at night.

Corkyskog ,

Doesn’t quite help satiate the hunger and prevent the hangover like a 1lb burrito would.

RabbitMix ,

i worked at a Dominos that would regularly be delivering that late

Revan343 ,

Of course, that’s not even late

Revan343 ,

Most decent pizza places stay open at least as late as the bars, most great pizza places stay open an hour or two later than the bars, or are open 24/7

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