Off topic, but related to unwanted noise. Why do white waitstaff/restaurants interupt you when you are talking to someone to ask you “How is everything? Everyone doing ok?”. removed look at the plate. I haven’t touched it since you gave it to me 30 seconds ago. Take a note from Asians. Silently fill the water, observe the vibe, and go if no one says anything. Or some Latino restaurants where they won’t do anything unless you explicitly call them over and ask. I’d take loud music you have to shout over if Cindi with a ‘i’ doesn’t interupt conversations.
That shit annoys me too. I was just at a restaurant today where the waitress would not only interrupt but then linger to babble on and on. Like bitch I’m on a date, fill my drink and fuck off.
I agree, asian places have the best service. Super respectful and I do appreciate that.
It’s to ensure your food is up to expectations. Mistakes happen, and a busy dining room dictates a server will help you when they can, not necessarily when you try to flag them down.
Definitely an american thing. I always find it annoying when I travel there. Also, bringing the bill with desert. Let me finish my meal first before giving me hints to get the fuck out
I can understand where you are coming from, from the other perspective, I have gone into places gotten my food, got my dessert, they don’t bring the bill. 40 minutes later I’m asking a different waiter to get me my check because my waiter never came back.
I’d rather they bring the check right away so I can pay them leave when I want.
“Fast casual” has ruined dinning. The concept is a volume play of moving as many customers as quick as possible while still giving “personalized service” with the least number of servers possible. Naturally this becomes a race to the bottom with “service” taking the biggest hit since it is the most subjective experience and thus the hardest to measure. The worst part is that most American diners we are slowly lowering expectations in which allows for further reductions in service and makes the experience even worse, but “with prices like these, what can you expect?”
I found the most effective way is not to explain it all at one time, but to make off the cuff remarks that clearly show you disagree with what they said without making it sound like you’re attacking them because they’ll stop internalizing anything you say instantly that way.
I knew someone that often made homophobic comments, and I always made a point to casually reply “nah, it never really bothered me”, or “sure, but it doesn’t affect your life at all” and shrug.
For a long time they said something like “yuck, It’s just gross” or " I don’t like it", but I never pursued the topic any more than my disagreeing comments until months later they asked me “okay, seriously how does it not bother you that gay people…”
That’s the point where you can bring up logic or expand on what you think.
And again, don’t go overboard, but you can expand on the points that it doesn’t affect your life how other people choose to love or who other people choose to love, and isn’t the world a better place with more love in it?
Simple, concise, irrefutable statements that are easy to digest once someone is asking questions and willing to listen to your answer.
Then you just let them digest that.
Apparently the comment that eventually clicked in their head in my situation was “isn’t the world a better place with more love in it?” because we interacted almost daily and they didn’t make homophobic comments for a while after the one time we had a longer conversation about gay people(they had been making less homophobic comments around me since I began replying with those casual comments during this whole process, which took months probably), and then one day we went to dinner again and he explicitly told me that that comment had been rattling around in his head and while he still thought it was weird for two dudes to kiss each other, he had come to the conclusion that it was crazy for him to react so strongly because obviously the world is a better place with more love in it and besides it doesn’t actually affect his life at all.
And I just said " that’s great" or something and left it at that.
So now anytime I hear someone say something -ist, I casually but directly disagree and then let it go until the next time or unless they ask what I mean.
Anyone I’ve tried to talk to in any extended manner without them expressing curiosity first pulls their limbs and head into a shell and works on developing whatever prejudice they have to make it more foolproof and less prone to examination.
2nd:
It doesn’t always take months, I mett one guy walking his dog sitting at a park bench once who had similar prejudices and I did the exact same thing, a casual comment and he wanted to enter into a deeper conversation right away that it later became clear, had led him to critically examining his ideas.
Yeah for someone to change their whole viewpoint takes time.
Imagine if someone was gonna try to argue that your opinion on a recent conflict is wrong. Obv if it’s that confronting you’re gone disregard that. But if he says something about it every once in a while you start to think more about and then you learn and grow. Because either you come to the conclusion your standpoint is really short sighted, or you at least appreciate their perspective.
And let me be clear: whatever you learn, it will be a good thing, because the more perspective, the more experience.
I have a friend who votes for trump and we clash heads a lot about politics, but I know I will learn so much about his viewpoint it is worth it to a certain degree, and I’m not gonna try to “convince” him, because I want him to critically think about his opinions and learn what he needs to from my perspective.
If you wanna fight racism for example, be a living example about how stupid it is and how nice it feels to know you can judge people by what they do and not what they look like. Don’t talk about, just be clear whenever the topic comes up.
It’s an incremental effort that does not always pay off, but anything bigger, more sudden and especially anything hostile, always fails.
I feel like on some level the bigot knows that all they’re doing is being a bully, but it’s so much easier and comforting to be a bully than to be honest with themselves or examine themselves that they’ve never exercised that muscle.
So anything more than incremental support for a bully to be more tolerant is interpreted as an attack and then they’re like okay so I have to change this so my perspective/sense-of-self can never be contradicted again.
I guess that’s it, that the goal is not to encourage them to be a different person, but rather to encourage them to be part of something new or unfamiliar: tolerance.
Pointing out hypocrisy rarely changes the person’s mind. They consider it a personal attack and categorize you as an opponent. I’m not saying what you should or shouldn’t say, but rather to help you predict likely responses.
Also, people learn discrimination growing up. It takes time to unlearn, and many people never do. You won’t always succeed, but at the same time, often your words and actions are felt my multiple people simultaneously.
Thanks for posting this, it’s truly helpful. I’m trying similar methods with a few friends who have lots of wonderful qualities but also some weird bigotries. The hardest thing is controlling my anger - their views have real, damaging consequences for people who have done them no harm, whom they have never even met. But you’re right, an angry reproach feels like an attack and can have the opposite effect.
i tried a lot of things for a lot of years and the only thing I’ve ever seen actually change someone’s mind or behavior is a concise, unambiguous statement of one’s own conflicting positive perspective and then leaving it alone until the bigot grows curious enough that you’re not tacitly agreeing with their prejudice that they feel compelled to examine the issue.
after several instances, I’ll get a pause and then: “but really, women are…, right?” or “but black culture is…, right” and then its “no, i dont think so”, “not any more than…” or the like.
Not tacitly agreeing with prejudice makes it a lot harder to make and keep friends with literally everyone these days, but at least I don’t have to say “yeah, i guess so…” and feel kind of shitty to be agreeing with something I don’t believe just to stay in a friend circle.
Anything I’ve tried to talk to in any extended manner without them expressing curiosity for first pulls their limbs and head into a shell and works on developing whatever prejudice they have to make it more foolproof and less prone to examination.
All of what you said was insightful, but that takes all the cake.
I’m glad this exists, but as viewers go up, the bandwidth requirements for the streamer are just too large for one person to deal with unless they’re a corporation with ad profits to pay for it.
I suspect for this to be usable at large scale it will need to be bittorrent based.
I don’t personally agree. Again, I’ve had 70+ connections open at one time and when I estimated the cost of bandwidth, I wouldn’t even hit my monthly budget that Hetzner gives me for “free”. But Owncast has S3 and CDN support built in if you really need to handle something like that.
On that $8/month VPS I think at the time I had 2 qualities. 1080 5kbps was the 70+ open streams. I don’t expect “big streamers” to join Owncast soon if ever. But if they do, I imagine they have MORE than enough money to be able to afford a CDN or S3. We’re not talking MILLIONS per months. I don’t think even think we’re even talking thousands, hundreds probably. But yes. You make a good point. And sadly it’s the point that everyone instantly comes up with WHY folks shouldn’t use Owncast. I personally just try to create a welcoming community for anyone interested in trying Owncast. As time goes on those costs of tech continue to go down. If you’re running a server from your house, unless you have a datacap, then you don’t even need to worry about cost of bandwidth, obviously infrastructure does matter though.
As far as CDNs go, streams are just bunches of files. Your player goes out, grabs some files, and you watch it. So a CDN works for vidoe streams like anything else and I almost guarantee that Twitch leverages CDNs as well.
You could do the same with a S3 bucket as well. So if the CDN is too expensive (I honestly don’t know the prices), you could do a S3 bucket.
I have about 12 folks watching me on average at this point. Still better than I had on Twitch. :-) But also, this is MY page. I’ve tweaked the CSS to make it look more like mine. I can show what I want, I don’t have to jump through hoops to keep up with Twitch’s algorithm, I don’t have to show ads, my page doesn’t take 20 seconds to load because it’s loading all kinds of junk in the background. I love it personally. It’s mine. :-)
if they do, I imagine they have MORE than enough money to be able to afford a CDN or S3
As long as they’re continuing to run ads or getting enough “subscriptions” to maintain it. I don’t think any twitch streamer, no matter how big an audience they have or how much money they have, would go live just to burn through their cash.
sadly it’s the point that everyone instantly comes up with WHY folks shouldn’t use Owncast.
Yeah, that’s not the argument I’m making. Again, I love the idea of owncast, for all the reasons you gave in your last paragraph, but mostly just to give people the option to not be dependent on a for-profit corporation. But like with youtube, tiktok, and other video-based social platforms, they’re costly to run and moderate, and thus difficult to federate. I’m just trying to understand where its practical limits are right now.
streams are just bunches of files
Are they? Very short lived files I guess? Because the delay on a twitch stream can be as low as a couple of seconds. Not sure about owncast.
Streaming is the continuous transmission of audio or video files from a server to a client. In simpler terms, streaming is what happens when consumers watch TV or listen to podcasts on Internet-connected devices. With streaming, the media file being played on the client device is stored remotely, and is transmitted a few seconds at a time over the Internet.
I reserve the right to be wrong about EVERYTHING! :-D
Honestly it’s probably the easiest install I’ve ever done. :-D Don’t hesitate to ping me on Lemmy or on Matrix or where ever if you have any issues, questions, etc. :-)
If you’re interested, just go check out the directory. Go watch someone. See if anything strikes your fancy. :-) directory.owncast.online
I’m not trying to sway your opinion in the least. It’s not for everyone in the least. I’m just trying to help folks realize there is a REAL alternative to the big platforms. We ARE talking on an open platform Reddit. ;-)
The only time I ever did was with Microsoft years ago on the Xbox 360.
I bought a game online then a couple days later it kept telling me I didn’t own the game but they still took my money. So I called customer service and after being transferred for the 6th time I finally lost my shit. I explained multiple times that I’m not angry with the rep but that this whole situation was completely unacceptable and it either needs fixed immediately or I’m trashing my Xbox and buying a Playstation.
They gave me a full refund and let me keep the game.
Slipped in the shower, grabbed the soap bar holder, it ripped off the wall, and flew right to the outside of the corner of my eye. Left me with a small cut and a broken blood vessel. Surprised it wasn’t a full blown black eye.
Yeah that’s kind of where I’m at with Ubuntu now. I personally got tired of using it because I find Canonical tends to fixate on whatever shiny thing they currently think is cool (Unity, that hybrid phone/desktop OS thing, Mir, now Snaps), then they let a lot of other stuff stagnate, get the thing they’re fixated on to the point where it’s almost really good, then they get bored and ditch it and go chasing something else.
But none of that’s a killer technical issue necessarily, if you don’t care about that you can still install it and have a good working/stable computer that’ll still do probably 99% of what you need it to.
Used to work at a restaurant in the south. And cute was like saying oh you sweet boy. Or while your doing something a person saying oh aren’t you cute. Kind of has to do with context but majority of the time when someone calls me cute I just look at them in a confused look because I wear scrubs most of the time and no make up or perfume. So most of the time I think what does this person want?
When I’m dealing with ISP or phone customer service, I always ask for the cancelation department. They are motivated to keep customers so sometimes they’ll throw in a coupon, especially if you treat them like a human.
Value is going to depend a lot on your preferences, but it does seem like a nice system for the price. I don’t personally own one at this point, but I have had the chance to play some games on the EXP, and in my opinion it’s a pretty good experience. Keep in mind that you’ll probably never see Nintendo and Sega specific titles on it, but there are a lot of good games outside of that. It’s probably going to come down to if it has games that you like.
Also, here’s a video that gives you an idea of what the menus and customization options look like, although this is the older version of the home console. Not sure if they changed anything on the new ones. I would most likely buy one if I didn’t already own a lot of my favorite games, and I may still buy one anyway just to have something nice and simple to hook up and play.
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