I also work well under deadlines but perform horribly without them. Upon reflection I realized a lot of my motivation is related to not disappointing others and/or embarrassing myself. Neglecting personal projects makes me feel like shit, but it’s missing the public humiliation factor so it won’t get me moving. A possible solution is to create deadlines for yourself and share them with people who will hold you accountable, or to whom you at least feel accountable. I also try to imagine how I will feel in a week, month, or year down the road when I still haven’t done THE THING, and realize that it’s only going to get worse the longer I go. This isn’t 100% successful but it does work sometimes.
This isn’t that rare. It is half the reason people hire personal trainers. The military also uses this technique, by framing failures as letting down your comrades rather than yourself.
This is a tricky thing to balance because using negativity and self criticism can become destructive. My grandma used to have a coal burning stove for heat. She said it was awful because too little coal and it would go out and was really hard to re-light. But too much coal and it would explode and blow coal dust all over their little house. I feel like self hate is kind of like that oven. Unfortunately nothing else has ever truly worked for me.
Also, I should add, one thought that brought me some self-forgiveness was the evolutionary roots of laziness. If you think about it, as an organism, if you’re well fed and in a good location your best bet is to chill under a shade tree until something comes up. As humans we are kind of cursed with extra simulation cores in our brain that can constantly iterate every single permutation of the future, and that leads to anxiety, but laziness is actually a virtue from an evolutionary perspective. So cut yourself some slack now and then.
Hmm, interesting question. I would say social media but it’s toxic for so many other reasons. Perhaps an online virtual assistant? Or maybe charge yourself a monthly or weekly fee into some account until you complete the task? Since it’s purely for yourself, whatever act “costs” you should be enough. A friend of mine was a huge proponent of making physical lists at the beginning of each day. He would then move any uncompleted tasks to the next day’s list, and the act of physically writing it was enough for him. He insisted it be on actual paper. This guy was super accomplished so it must have done something for him.
Minor nit pick, but did you know that Lemmy has actual cross posting functionality?
Either way, interesting study. This is the type of content that I Red er… Lemmy for, so thanks for posting. I use Voyager myself, being an Apollo refugee.
Yeah, cross posting is another quirky Lemmy thing. AFAIK it just generates a new post with the same content, and also maybe varies by app. That could be wrong though: I’m not sure.
AFAIK it just generates a new post with the same content
Yup, that is exactly what it does. So if the original post is edited, none of the changes propagate to any of the crossposts.
In my opinion, crossposts should embed the original post, not simply copy a snapshot of the content at the time the crosspost is made. That’s a Lemmy issue though, not an app issue.
Ya I’ve only been able to cross post on the web UI. I’ve seen apps like Jerboa and Voyager at least show cross posting correctly, I just wish they made it easier to cross-post in app.
Thunder allows cross-posting! It should follow the web UI implementation (where the body of the new post has a link to the original, plus the original contents in a quote block).
Oh nice! That’s the one I’ve probably tried the least so I’ll have to give that one another go. (Not for any particular reason, I just got used to the UI of the first couple other apps I tried). Thanks for the good news!
That does seem like a good option for my use case, interestingly they note that no matter what I switch to I should change the subdomain:
It’s not supported across the Fediverse to switch between implementations on the same domain. This means that if you run GoToSocial on example.org, you’ll run into federation issues if you try to switch to a different implementation like Pleroma/Akkoma, Misskey/Calckey etc.
That doesn’t look promising for moving the account without migrating because then I couldn’t maintain my username.
Well me, I’m a waitress. If my coworkers don’t wanna work I tell them to take the cut and go home, then I stay and make more money. And while they’re there, if they wanna hide in the back instead of monitoring the floor, well, I shark their tables. Gotta work to make money, honey.
You’ve identified a problem that you want to fix (willingness to do effort for yourself versus for others) but you haven’t identified the root cause. This is basically one of the situations that therapy is best equipped to help with. It sounds like maybe a self-worth issue but I’m not a therapist so that’s about as valuable as a lace umbrella.
Not sure - I don’t feel like I undervalue myself (although I guess that’s exactly what someone in my situation would say lmao). I just don’t find motivation in doing something solely for myself, and am instead invested in things that I think the community could benefit from. An example would be wanting to run a Public Searx/Invidious instance
a problem you have within yourself, that you’ve identified you want to change
a problem you don’t know how to change
You don’t need to have deep trauma or self-harming tendencies for therapy to be of value to you! But it does indeed sound like I’m off the mark on the self-worth thing. (That’s why I’m not a therapist).
Worst case scenario, you have a few sessions and don’t find anything to sink your teeth into and you’ve wasted a few hours Better case scenario, you find a root cause or at least a path to a better way of doing things.
But hey, I tell just about everyone to get therapy :P
If you don’t want to spend money you could try DIY it but if someone will show you how to use tools for introspective like journaling and emotional averness it will be much easier to start.
You wrote in other comment that:
I want to be busy.
Maybe you should do the opposite. Be bored and see what your mind will do with boredom. Try to do it for a decent about of time like an hour. Maybe you will discover something surprising about yourself.
Not a woman, but I think what it comes down to is: the other person needs to immediately know what you mean when you say it without you having to explain it, or else it will be a mix of confusing/unsettling/creepy.
If they use the word “cute” a lot to describe things they like or looks they are going for, then it could be taken well. If they never use it and you don’t either, then it will probably be percieved as unsettling. If they get hung up for any reason on what it means for you to call them “cute” (or any other adjective), then it’s not coming across how you want.
On the rare moments that my friends come to my house we play some couch coop, most of the time is brawlhalla, but sometimes we play other games like hot shot racing, horizon chase, trick towers, etc.
Beehaw was actually my first threadiverse instance. It didn’t become my main, because you all are way too over the top. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean that in a bad way, just that I needed a bit of chaos in my life and this instance is like cotton wool. When I left, it was so that I could partake in football discussions and life outside of this instance took a minute to adjust to. However there was one thing I took away from my experience, it’s that this instance was full of good, compassionate people. So it’s no wonder that despite my two major stints on other instances (shout-out to lemmy.tf and lazysoci.al), I always made sure I was active here. Even with this particular community. If something is super technical, I tend to take it to programming.dev, otherwise I come here because I want to have more humanist discussions about things and how they impact people and I love that. I’m glad to see that you’re all doubling down on that.
Off-topic, I think you’re doing the beehaw community a disservice by not updating the instance. I know you’re waiting on SubLinks, but who knows when that will be ready, in the meantime, Lemmy has added some very good and very useful things that improve the quality of life of users, admins and moderators.
Thank you for the kind words. Not updating is not a decision we have taken lightly. I can’t speak to the specifics because I’m not tech enough to fully understand them, but I believe a major part of the reason for not updating has to do with that migration off Lemmy - that it changes the way data is stored and organized and because of such the migration process (moving comments, threads, etc. to sublinks) would need to be entirely redesigned.
Don’t let your ping hold you back. I bought one of the COD games a few years ago and my PC would not run it no matter what I did with the settings (I think my processor was the problem). Usually it crashed before I even got into a game but I was actually able to join 2 of them and it was like playing a PowerPoint presentation of COD. The one game I actually able to finish I was still in the middle of the pack for k/d…
I used a non standard keyboard a long time ago and while it did deliver, the most important thing I learned is that non standard things tend to disappear and the time spent learning it was wasted.
I don’t do anything special. When I connect the device to my machine by USB, it is recognized and mounts itself. Once that happens, it becomes connectable via CLI and GUI. Very much like what happens in a windows or mac environment.
kbin.life
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