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@arcadetoken@autistics.life cover
@arcadetoken@autistics.life avatar

arcadetoken

@[email protected]

Hello fellow Mastodon user! :) I am an AuDHDer from the United States, a parent and husband to an amazing family, and a tech enthusiast who likes to tinker, explore and solve problems. I like to talk about my life and experiences and hear those of others, and help support others and spread kindness and live a free and happy life.

My asks:
Be kind to people, including yourself.
Avoid stress if it's not important.
You and other people matter.
Grow to be the best version of yourself.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

dramypsyd , to actuallyautistic
@dramypsyd@ohai.social avatar

Dating while autistic problems 🤣

@actuallyautistic

arcadetoken ,
@arcadetoken@autistics.life avatar

@dramypsyd @actuallyautistic I never even knew what this meant until years after I'd heard it

chevalier26 , to actuallyautistic
@chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Any tips on how to deal with imposter syndrome? 😅 It's really been affecting me lately, and I'm not sure why.

I feel like I can never quite be certain that the things I KNOW are true about myself are actually true, like my brain is willingly playing tricks on itself.

arcadetoken ,
@arcadetoken@autistics.life avatar

@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic personally, it tends to come and go for me, and it tends to come on strong when I have a disconnect between my identity and who I feel I might be. Usually reconnecting with that identity in some fashion has helped me, for instance with my autism, I would watch more videos about autistic life and behavior and experiences, and that would usually help. I see myself in the content, and that helps to remind me as to who I am.

chevalier26 , to actuallyautistic
@chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Has anyone ever told you that you were “too vague”? Earlier I was talking with my mom about our plan to leave our cabin and I said “the only reason I’d need to come back after we eat lunch would be to shower” and she said “well you can do that at home” (I had already mentioned earlier how I wanted to shower at home). So I said “that’s my whole point” which started an argument about how I’m not clear in mt communication. 1/2

arcadetoken ,
@arcadetoken@autistics.life avatar

@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic My daughter and I are both Autistic and we have this issue on occasion. I've come to believe that, at least for myself, I have a very long contextual reason behind the thought in my head and it's not always easy or intuitive to get the whole thing out there. Maybe her too.

Of course for neurotypicals this isn't a huge deal, but either I'm asking her for more context or she's getting upset because how she interpreted the lack of details was unpleasant/scary to her

darrellpf , to actuallyautistic
@darrellpf@mas.to avatar

Question for @actuallyautistic adults. What do you think of programs such as the Sunflower program that helps make autism visible when travelling?

As someone who has masked for a very long time, the last thing I want is to be seen. Even something as subtle as a lapel pin might lead to unwanted attention or assumptions.

It also strikes me that this is another instance where autism in children is increasingly being recognized but adult autism is not.

arcadetoken ,
@arcadetoken@autistics.life avatar

@darrellpf @actuallyautistic It's nice to see the option to do that. I've mused on sporting one but I agree on not wanting visibility - better to just accommodate myself where possible. I do feel that I am privileged to be able to do do, as others may not be able to

LehtoriTuomo , to actuallyautistic

Someone asked whether I ever played Doom. No, not really. I told that I've never liked first person shooters and then it hit me. I never liked them as there's too much going on. In fact, I've never been a big fan of any types of shooters, the only exception being Cannon Fodder. Now, with the new-found autistic perspective, it makes perfect sense. Sensory overdrive all the time equals no fun. How about my fellow autistics, any fans of shooters?

@actuallyautistic

arcadetoken ,
@arcadetoken@autistics.life avatar

@LehtoriTuomo @actuallyautistic Weirdly, Team Fortress 2, but maybe because it's so unserious that I could play lousy and not get shamed for it much?

theaardvark , to actuallyadhd
@theaardvark@mastodon.me.uk avatar


How does everyone know how, when and how much they're masking?
As a late-diagnosed , I struggle to differentiate between "me but masking" and "me but in a diff situation".
Now that I know I'm autistic, I even miss the person I used to be in some situations before I knew.
I used to call myself a "social chameleon" - I just changed automatically to suit the circumstances.
But who actually am I and what is just a mask?
@actuallyautistic
@actuallyadhd

arcadetoken ,
@arcadetoken@autistics.life avatar

@theaardvark @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd In simple terms I started to get to know my unmasked self by spending a lot of time alone, and began to take notice when I stopped being that, notably during social situations. Masked me and unmasked me are very different.

eo , to actuallyautistic
@eo@dads.cool avatar

"high functioning autism" is basically bulimia for executive functioning.
What do you think about this analogy, @actuallyautistic?

arcadetoken ,
@arcadetoken@autistics.life avatar

@eo Kind of an odd take, not understanding the correlation?

JeremyMallin , to actuallyautistic
@JeremyMallin@autistics.life avatar

If you know, you know.

@actuallyautistic

arcadetoken ,
@arcadetoken@autistics.life avatar

@dyani @JeremyMallin @actuallyautistic dyani you are a sanity saver, I never knew this, thank you!

Uair , to actuallyautistic
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@actuallyautistic

Question for people in the developed world

How many eggs do you fry for yourself?

I live in america on half the poverty line. I'm pretty poor by any measure. When i fry eggs for myself, i usually fry four. I know that's an absurd luxury by the standards of most people in history, but financially it's silly for me to ration eggs.

It's just something i noticed.

arcadetoken ,
@arcadetoken@autistics.life avatar

@Uair @actuallyautistic I use around the equivalent of 1 egg+yolk in egg whites, with a slice of cheese and a turkey sausage patty on toast, daily breakfast during the workweek.

olena , to actuallyautistic
@olena@mementomori.social avatar

On one hand, it’s nice to see that we can have noice-canceling headphones, selective earplugs and other kinds of solutions to help and other folks to reduce sensory overload in public places, but I can’t help but think that we should address the problem from the other side: to not create that overload to begin with.
Ok, I get the need for bright light in a shop: you really want to see what you’re buying, you want to choose a fruit/veggie without signs of spoiling, be able to read the label clearly etc.
But all that loud music? Is there really any value in it for the stores? Why do they keep playing it? Were there some actual real studies that have shown that putting on music increases sales?
Like, I have seen many times(and was myself) people leaving store sooner, even without the things they went for, because they couldn’t stand that loud music anymore, but I haven’t seen anyone actually staying in a shopping mall longer because they liked music or something.
So, is there any actual profit for stores in it, or are they just doing that because everyone is used to it?
Does also anyone know if there have been any studies/works on the sensory overload modern cities put on people and ways to reduce it without making things harder for other members of society?
@actuallyautistic

arcadetoken ,
@arcadetoken@autistics.life avatar

@olena @actuallyautistic I want to say that it does boil down to profitability studies done in a business setting without respect to neuro differences. Businesses aim to make a profit, they won't care about the human/psychological cost unless made to. Even if there are good folks in leadership, responsibility to shareholders will often trump the desire to "do good".

arcadetoken ,
@arcadetoken@autistics.life avatar

@olena @actuallyautistic In general, yes, I did a quick spot check and there were a lot of results for music in supermarkets in particular and the effect on sales. Modern studies or for malls, not so sure. I wasn't able to find anything on the effect on neurodivergent shoppers.

Uair , to actuallyautistic
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@actuallyautistic

64 bytes of RAM:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microvision

arcadetoken ,
@arcadetoken@autistics.life avatar

@Uair @actuallyautistic

"Instead, each game included its own processor contained within the removable cartridge.[9][10][11] This meant that the console itself effectively consisted of the controls, LCD panel and LCD controller."

That sounds expensive per-game and inefficient, I'm glad we moved past that!

alexisbushnell , to actuallyautistic
@alexisbushnell@toot.wales avatar

Fellow @actuallyautistic folks, what are your experiences with and feelings about smart watches?

I realise that's a very broad question but I don't want to skew the replies by sharing my experience and why I'm asking!

arcadetoken ,
@arcadetoken@autistics.life avatar

@alexisbushnell @actuallyautistic
I miss my Pebble. LCD displays, gaudy watch faces, silicone wristbands, they all suck. I have 3 smart watches and they all require different applications. Notifications, hackability and health conveniences like step count, heart rate monitoring and O2 saturation are all nice. Most of the time I just throw on a Casio F-91W or something instead.

autism101 , to actuallyautistic
@autism101@mstdn.social avatar

Have you ever been told you are too quiet and you should talk more?

@actuallyautistic

image: unknown

arcadetoken ,
@arcadetoken@autistics.life avatar

@autism101 @actuallyautistic Yes, I relate with this entire post

JeremyMallin , to actuallyautistic
@JeremyMallin@autistics.life avatar

Does ambiguous wording really not bother neurotypical people??


@actuallyautistic

arcadetoken ,
@arcadetoken@autistics.life avatar

@JeremyMallin
I like to think they're so used to just making things up (and not being bothered by that fact) that they just make up the context there too, but I wonder that too
@actuallyautistic

autism101 , to actuallyautistic
@autism101@mstdn.social avatar

Let’s talk tags on clothing. I hate them and they annoy me to no end. And even if I cut them off, the tiny bit remaining always manages to touch me and I hate it. 😩

Do tags bother you?

@actuallyautistic

image: unknown

arcadetoken ,
@arcadetoken@autistics.life avatar

@autism101
It's 2024, tags touching anywhere near the neckline or using non-soft materials shouldn't even be a thing anymore, yet here we are
@actuallyautistic

arcadetoken , to random
@arcadetoken@autistics.life avatar

It's hard learning you're living with a disability and didn't even know. And you don't know anyone else IRL that has the disability. So there's always this nagging impostor syndrome of "maybe I'm not really disabled", or this uneasy feeling like you have no feedback if you're living disabled life "right" or something.

autism101 , to actuallyautistic
@autism101@mstdn.social avatar

Did you get labeled as a “picky eater” when you were growing up?

@actuallyautistic

arcadetoken ,
@arcadetoken@autistics.life avatar

@autism101 @actuallyautistic Yep. I do still hate vinegar-based products and some dairy products like yogurt, soft cheese, cream cheese, etc. This is lifelong but I'd be leery of stuff having anything to do with it, for example I'd avoid butter and salads (even just the salad base without dressing, which I have no problem with now.)

poloniousmonk , to actuallyautistic
@poloniousmonk@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

Question:

Does anybody else skeeve over modern soap?

I hate the fact that it doesn't rinse off. I need second-soap to wash off the residue of first-soap. I don't want a bottle of detergent instead. I just want soap that doesn't leave me slimy.

Outside of north america, i've found bars of laundry soap that are awesome, but i'd have to make my own on the US and i imagine i'm too red-flagged to be allowed to buy lye.

arcadetoken ,
@arcadetoken@autistics.life avatar

@poloniousmonk @actuallyautistic Yeah I can't use shower gels or some bar soaps for that reason, they don't penetrate oils as much as they need to, they're fragrant and they leave residue. I need a soap to get in, bind to the grime and get out.

EVDHmn , to actuallyautistic
@EVDHmn@ecoevo.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

Hey everyone,

Who has antiglare glasses/tinted glasses/uab/uvb ? Which brand or company does everyone use?
Also if you can/

Which noise canceling was buds everyone likes, which do you like best and why?

My local doctor quoted me. 650
Pls and thanks

arcadetoken ,
@arcadetoken@autistics.life avatar

@EVDHmn @actuallyautistic I don't have recommendations on earbuds but I do use Loop earplugs which are nice for partial noise blocking. I use the Loop Engage. Relatively cheap.

I can vouch for Zenni's glasses if you're in a country they sell to, you still have to have your prescription ready but their glasses are good and have nice features for a good price. When measuring your pupillary distance, make sure to relax your eyes/don't stare at something

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Do my comrades have a carb addiction?

If so, you’re not alone.

Do you find that carbs regulate you? Or dysregulate?

@actuallyautistic

arcadetoken ,
@arcadetoken@autistics.life avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic I need to generally avoid them where possible outside of daily need, the highs/lows mess me up both mentally and physically

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

What’s the most important thing you’ve learnt this year about being ?

@actuallyautistic

arcadetoken ,
@arcadetoken@autistics.life avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic Everything, this was the year I discovered it in myself. I look forward to more and possible assessment.

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Do my comrades play with their tongue in their mouths constantly?

Licking the teeth etc.

@actuallyautistic

arcadetoken ,
@arcadetoken@autistics.life avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic No but I had a stim of chewing the inside of my lip when trying to focus

AutisticAdam , to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

Autistic people often feel tremendous guilt or fear even when they have done nothing wrong. This may be a trauma response to years of being made to feel like a bad person for being how they are or behaving what some people would say..differently.

Don't forget being blamed for things that aren’t their fault in the mix aswell.

@actuallyautistic

arcadetoken ,
@arcadetoken@autistics.life avatar

@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic I feel this. Minor things like going out to places on my own for fun, or expressing myself are very hard due to inhibitions and overthinking and toxic shame. Really does diminish your QoL.

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