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VoxofGod

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nddev , to actuallyautistic
@nddev@c.im avatar

An explanation for your friends and loved ones of why people can't find things and what they can do to help us:

https://www.thearticulateautistic.com/why-your-autistic-loved-one-cant-find-objects-right-in-front-of-them/

@actuallyautistic

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@Aerliss @nddev @actuallyautistic

This isn't The same thing by a long shot but it's similar

In my sixth grade class we all took a portion of the number 6 as a puzzle piece ~ Yes, ironic ~ and then put it all together on our door.

When they got to my number - was 20- I was in another world for a long time

They kept on asking who 20 was and I kept on thinking who is 20? Would they please answer why don't we get this going?

Then I realized I was 20

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@Aerliss @nddev @actuallyautistic

Whoever is number 20 is an absolute loser why won't they give Mrs Mac their piece!?

Someone like that, I tell you.

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@Aerliss @nddev @actuallyautistic

I know that I tune out and I'm aware of everything around me but I'm very disassociated quite often it's having been born in a family with an image to maintain with early onset diverticulosis making me learn all of the facets on a memorable show, Just sadly the ones that are remembered because you're the butt of the joke

I flip that around these days

But two roommates have said that I check out and then come back and don't remember

ImmedicableME , to actuallyautistic
@ImmedicableME@mastodon.online avatar

Does anyone else find that vagus nerve stimulation activities/exercises (chanting, humming, meditation, soothing music, cold water, etc.) is counterproductive and can dysregulate your nervous system? @actuallyautistic

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@ImmedicableME @actuallyautistic

When theres something else going on sure, but especially for me my Vagus nerve exercise But I mostly use is focusing on a long off point and then a close point back and forth back and forth

JeremyMallin , to actuallyautistic
@JeremyMallin@autistics.life avatar

Apparently, rewatching television shows and movies a million times is an autism thing.

That's me. 🙋‍♂️

@actuallyautistic

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@Frances_Larina @JeremyMallin @actuallyautistic

I had a notebook that is gone at this point sadly with all of the verbatim speeches in 'the pallisers'

knew a thing or two about a turn of phrase

Glencora has the gift of laughter which is belittled by simple minds and loved by the gods

Or something like that It's always so much more succinct than I remember which is why I have to write them down to get them really right

But I study old text as a facet of my awesome job

elonjet , to random
@elonjet@mastodon.social avatar

Landed near Teterboro, New Jersey, United States. Apx. flt. time 6 h 21 min.

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@elonjet go home!

GTFO of my town, u pos

elmyra , to random
@elmyra@wandering.shop avatar

folks, can you point me at some reading on power dynamics in care/caring relationships please?
@mecfs

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@ahimsa_pdx @elmyra @disability

What service does your dog provide?!?!?

Well, it calms me enough that I don't want to pour Drano down that fucking throat of yours

aevole , to actuallyautistic
@aevole@piaille.fr avatar

I feel the need to be fully autistic. I just don't know what to do to really be myself 😅🤷🏻‍♀️
If you have any tips, please share 🥰
@actuallyautistic

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@aevole @actuallyautistic

Well You are autistic, so you are fully autistic! 🙂

But if you mean adopt behaviors that are less masky and more in tune with your own power and peace, That is I think an issue of self-awareness and it's a journey of examination and modification all to increase your sense of power peace and joy

Do the things you love to do Don't worry about people and their reactions

But creative queer autistic put a really nice list together that I have bookmarked, as well :-)

Sci_Fi_FanGirl , to actuallyautistic German
@Sci_Fi_FanGirl@hessen.social avatar

Need some sympathy from my fellow @actuallyautistic

In one of the most stressful weeks this year so far, after weeks of immense work load, my husband went on a vacation with friends.

Had been planned for a long time and I didn't want to ruin his time off. But I'm really struggling and close to shutdown. Sleep is bad atm.

He just called to say he's ill. He will be isolating at home, but I was really counting on him "taking over" when he's back.

Don't know how to pull through 😢

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar
VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar
aaronesilvers , to actuallyautistic
@aaronesilvers@jawns.club avatar
VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@aaronesilvers @masukomi @actuallyautistic

General rule in the opera community is you have to give yourself 3 years between The event and return to the same city

sebwhatever , to actuallyautistic
@sebwhatever@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

I'm feeling a little low today. What are some things that you folx do to help yourselves out of a funk?

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@sebwhatever @actuallyautistic

I have a list of things I do in order to maintain myself in contentment

Sunlight, singing, artificially putting a spring in my step, lots of sleep

Those are a few things... I should do a list

As an opportunity that is slightly depressed, I have a bag of mitigations for less than content moods, because you can't sing if you're not happy

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@sebwhatever @actuallyautistic another thing to consider is the smile

A frown is mostly just a ratcheting of resting bitch face

I know I've told this at least once But an old teacher of mine long gone who was a fifth avenue trust fund Maven had great stories

Someone called him because wanted to go to the Opera.

To get in the cab sits back her face goes slack and she says Tell me when we're 5 minutes away

Does so, and her face brightens up she has a smile on it ready..

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@sebwhatever @actuallyautistic They get into the show, sit in their box the lights go down shoot relaxes her face and says Tell me when it's 5 minutes from the end of the act

He does so

She brightens up and puts on a performance for the whole intermission

And so on

Gravity pulls our face down

Just to get to smile requires reaction to gravity & a paralyzed face, two reasons our smiles can be forced.

when it's in our best interest to be happy but we are being thwarted, it's permission..

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@sebwhatever @actuallyautistic In my opinion it's permission to defensively mask

And what I mean is also prophylactic defense

If you're all the way down into RBF, or actual frowning which is a ratcheting of RBF You have all of these different nuts to untie

So being mindful enough to keep them untied is what to do when the happiness isn't there

So you don't have to work through them

The opening of the mouth should easily be above the bottom of upper teeth

Nostrils maximum flare, jaw open..

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@sebwhatever @actuallyautistic If you look at yourself in the mirror with your teeth together, it's a very tense look

Lightly open is the way

A slight o with the lips everything relaxed so that gravity fills that area up with water instead of tension making it harsh lines that take time to undo

It's pure logistics for me because if I don't and I get cramped in an angry face, I can't sing sometimes for months

olena , to actuallyautistic
@olena@genomic.social avatar

I’ve heard today that people don’t form habits, they create routines.
I thought of my ‘useful habits’ - and yeah, right, they are routines.
But then I thought: well, what’s the difference then? What is a habit if NOT a routine?
Can anyone help me with examples of what may be a habit, but not a routine?

@actuallyautistic

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar
VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@olena @actuallyautistic Well smoking can be a routine as well, but it certainly becomes a habit.

I might be wrong about this but I think addiction can form as a result of habit combined with some other things

I feel like addiction is habit to the extreme?

You can be addicted to crack as a child, But never having done it, because your mom did it while you were in the womb

So, I think we have some overlap in all directions here but I don't know

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@olena @actuallyautistic

Maybe habits and routines form as a result of addiction, or how to manage it?

alexisbushnell , to actuallyautistic
@alexisbushnell@toot.wales avatar

I feel like the current internalised ableism and trauma I'm working through is accepting I have higher support needs than I'd previously accepted.

My mother has always held both these attitudes towards me:

  1. You'll never be independent, "you're a lifer."

  2. Everyone else can do this stuff, you can do it you're just lazy/don't want to/selfish/etc,

Recognising and accepting my support needs is an ongoing challenge at the moment.

@actuallyautistic

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@alexisbushnell @actuallyautistic I really have needed daily care my whole life.

But when the family has to keep up appearances, and certainly all the money my grandfather was sending to the family wasn't enough to keep my mom in clothes, My Care went by the wayside

Anytime I tried to take care of myself, I was gas-lit and or humiliated into behaving more normally

At the same time being told that I would never be normal or likable because I was so weird very catch 22

ScruffyDux , to actuallyautistic
@ScruffyDux@fosstodon.org avatar

@actuallyautistic A huge deal for me since diagnosis has been the progressive realisation that so many things I thought were psychological were actually physiological the entire time.

It's been one thing after another after another, to the point where I now understand psychology has always been a very minor component of the issues I deal with.

Anyone relate?

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@ScruffyDux @actuallyautistic

I've had diverticulosis since I was a boy

Everyone just always rolling their eyes when I was around and avoiding me and saying I was so difficult behind my back

All my family

Certainly no friends

Even had to fight with the doctors who didn't want to give me the colo that confirmed

It has made me so violently against gaslighting and manipulation that it tends to run my life

vger , to actuallyautistic
@vger@social.daemonlair.org avatar

I think I'm done with watching real competitive team sports. I've always had problems with excitement when watching my favorite team play. I've watched yesterdays super bowl, my team being the 49ers. My heart was racing the whole game and it was impossible for me to control my temper in any way, I was stimming like crazy the whole time. Regardless of my team losing, I did not get anything positive out of that experience. I just felt miserable the whole game.

@actuallyautistic

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@vger @actuallyautistic I think that I can surf the wave of vibes and fun and camaraderie that happen in professional sports and that can be fun on occasion but it's pretty vacuous.

This level of competitive sports was developed by the British as of bread and circus

US turns it into a lifelong zombie making machine

But it can be fun to step into the demographic circle jerk on occasion

I've never found it real though

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@vger @actuallyautistic The thing is, in the same way that cis heterosexual men get so much and are given so much because that hyper focused passionate joy is infectious and very attractive, that crowd build up of emotion is thrilling and never leaves you.

I think that's what the Bible is referring to when they say mankind have no greater thing under the Sun than to eat drink and be merry.

To be able to live like that is great

The only thing greater is to multiply the people who are able to

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@vger @actuallyautistic and the autistic person's life is for the most part totally different than that there's a hyper focus and that's almost never popular, and problem with noises and crowds make it less fun, and on the flip side we feel left out because we're not too easily going to fit in that group

autism101 , to actuallyautistic
@autism101@mstdn.social avatar

Watching the same show over-and-over again is one way I regulate the autistic side of my brain. But the ADHD side sure gets bored sometimes.

Do you watch any shows on repeat?

@actuallyautistic

image: @NoNonsenseND

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@autism101 @actuallyautistic

Being a big fan of Teresa of Avila my evening white noise is to play Teresa de Jesus mini-series starring concha velasco on in the background while I sleep

I get to practice my Spanish a little bit get to learn about Teresa of Avila because it's a dense 8 hours

Another one is pride and prejudice

I've been watching the recruit as well, recently three times now, social dynamic shows help me understand social issues and reactions more effectively

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@autism101 @actuallyautistic

But being very noise sensitive in New York City next to a subway that comes out of ground in an apartment building, it's a challenge unless I mitigate all the time so I tend to have television on all the time

I'm getting better at this though

It's an excellent white noise especially if I know what TV I am watching

Whatever noise is happening outside my rooms can be ignored because a softer noise happens inside and my brain can latch on and ignore the rest

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@autism101 @actuallyautistic This technique has scared away five roommates each of them were worse than the last

autism101 , to actuallyautistic
@autism101@mstdn.social avatar

It’s ridiculous that SSI in the U.S. isn’t enough to even cover basic housing anywhere.

@actuallyautistic

https://www.disabilityscoop.com/2024/02/05/ssi-recipients-cant-afford-housing-anywhere-in-the-us/30731/

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@BeamsAndBows @autism101 @actuallyautistic @mybarkingdogs

It's a lot less secure, but in other ways it is more secure and yes I'm talking about putting it under your mattress 🙂
Finding a way to hide cash so that you don't get burned

Heard a rumor that they were talking about removing it but that would not make sense This is there to make it more difficult to be sick by the means testing Nazis in government

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@Shkshkshk @actuallyautistic

Yeah this put animals rights back 20 years

So ableist

So milk is to blame for the scourge that is autism It's like a double fuckyou

ajsadauskas , (edited ) to technology
@ajsadauskas@aus.social avatar

My real worry with Google's voyage into enshittification (thanks to Cory Doctorow @pluralistic the term) is YouTube.

Through YT, for the past 15 years, the world has basically entrusted Google to be the custodian of pretty much our entire global video archive.

There's countless hours of archived footage — news reports, political speeches, historical events, documentaries, indie films, academic lectures, conference presentations, rare recordings, concert footage, obscure music — where the best or only copy is now held by Google through YouTube.

So what happens if maintaining that archival footage becomes unprofitable?

@technology

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@ajsadauskas @pluralistic @technology

Curious if you are aware of anyway of downloading one's content off YouTube for this all but inevitable moment?

autism101 , to actuallyautistic
@autism101@mstdn.social avatar

Do you ever find yourself oversharing with complete strangers in social settings?

@actuallyautistic

image:unknown

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@autism101 @actuallyautistic

Yup

All the time

I use it as a way of deciding who I will spend energy getting to know... Seeing the reaction

I also have an off button when need be

PossiblyAutistic , to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic How much of a thing is "friendzoning" with neurodivergents?

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic

I think that as more people start to identify as neurodivergent something similar might start happening, but overcommunication often seems to be the issue with autistic people in the first place will probably manifest differently

I'm very used to hearing guys tease me about how women come on to me and I'm blind to it

When your mom hates you with a smile on her face, it's hard to see any affection is real

Women are almost always friendzoned for me and

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic It's mostly because I don't know how to communicate realities in my life without either over sharing or annoying or disgusting someone, lol

I think that a lot of times with autistic people it's either only friend zone or easy bonding and sex because when the possibility presents itself quite obviously, it's rare enough that people will jump at the shot 🙂

Also, autistics can be quite experimental and spicy in bed

eo , to actuallyautistic
@eo@dads.cool avatar

@actuallyautistic I have always struggled with anhedonia. Since I learned about "Autistic joy" and have seen what a pure experience of joy an autistic child can have, I'm wondering what is wrong with me again. Too many experiences seem essentially ruined, and I feel like I should be able to tell you why and how, but I can't. I am beginning to read "The Neuroscience of Happiness and Pleasure" (NIHMS257673) … does anyone relate?

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@eo @actuallyautistic

Feels like happiness was stolen out of my life by my family

Because I was expected to look happy and not make waves even though I was in physical pain with diverticulosis

To this day it has never resolved and while I can manufacture happiness through techniques or with my dog, and it helps bring about real contentment there's always an asterix next to any description I have contentment

essie_is_okay , to actuallyautistic
@essie_is_okay@aus.social avatar

How did you make a more robust sense of self? How do you know when your sense of self is strong or weak? Interested to hear people's lived experiences.

Years of dissociation and masking makes it hard to feel what is me.

@actuallyautistic

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@essie_is_okay @actuallyautistic

Being gas lit by my family even now about some really basic stuff, I'm 53, a sense of self has been hard for me my whole life ignoring pain ignoring fear ignoring hate from my family etc

Getting away from them helped

For me, Faith is very important. And my art and my dog

But recently as my voice has recuperated and developed, it has given me confidence to ignore my family's voices in my head

To sing, you got to be happy so it was a Fiat I had no choice

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@essie_is_okay @actuallyautistic

So, being happy as a singer is an essential so I have learned how to cultivate that regardless of many things

But another thing happened, Raymond had been traveling with me my RV to visit some family and it was comically horrible

I just slogged on through because that's what I've learned

But Ray reacted to my anxiety

Vet told me he was anxious

And that was like a mandate for me to stop being afraid because Ray was afraid because I was afraid

elonjet , to random
@elonjet@mastodon.social avatar

Landed in Austin, Texas, United States. Apx. flt. time 14 min.

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@elonjet fuk this guy

samid , to actuallyautistic
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

"nine out of ten autistic women victims of sexual violence."
I do run into autistic men sometimes, that feel victimized. And there are many reasons for that, that we don't need to discuss. Just sometimes they start crying about girls having it easier. I know. you laugh, but it still happens. And there's also those neurodivergent men who suffer from not being able to be trad. men. Living up to toxic standards. And they get all bamboozled and start believing, women have an easier time. You laugh. But again. It happens. That's why I'm linking this paper, again. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35558435/
Some neurodivergent white males have never thought about intersectionality. I raised my kid in a poor neighborhood. The amount of misogyny that rains down on a female baby that acts out, screams, causes trouble, displays aggression, is ridiculous. There is a reason for female autistic masking. Which, together with gender data gap ( misogyny ) creates the four in one ratio in diagnoses of autism. The reason for masking is survival. And survival gets more difficult with each intersection you have in your life. I don't want to explain this time and again. Please, autistic males, get your colleagues up to speed.That's why I'm posting this.

@actuallyautistic

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@samid @actuallyautistic

Greetings from an autistic man that was sexually assaulted at age 12, for their first sexual experience

Then had their mother gaslight them about it to protect her gravy train...

Only now four decades later am I able to envision what life is like for people who don't have the truth daily conditioned out of them

JeremyMallin , to actuallyautistic
@JeremyMallin@autistics.life avatar

Are there any Autistics who do not have internalized about themselves? 🙋‍♂️

How do you overcome a lifetime of that?

@actuallyautistic

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@JeremyMallin @actuallyautistic personally I go on two tracks, I have my overarching identity which is riddled with pathology but I'm doing worthwhile stuff for my own self so I take the pathology for what it is

But on a more micro level from thing to thing and on a day-to-day basis I keep track of how self abusive I am being and the weirdness that is happening to me socially and how it's different or not I am more exacting about my social and mental health always trying to improve on the arc

tomkindlon , to disability
@tomkindlon@disabled.social avatar
VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@tomkindlon @chronicillness @spoonies @disability @mecfs @longcovid

This is happening more and more recently people are starting to decide people are not disabled, at least in my experience I've had people comment on the fact that I can't be disabled because I take the stairs

My reaction is FUCKYOU

I mean first off I push myself through pain in order to make sure that I can do it again

Cuz if I dont the voice goes away waiting to get better

Being a singer takes more than just taking stairs

autism101 , to actuallyautistic
@autism101@mstdn.social avatar

Did you get labeled as a “picky eater” when you were growing up?

@actuallyautistic

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@autism101 @actuallyautistic I have diverticulosis and had it as a boy

So...

Yes

Was one of the things that made my mom give up on me

elonjet , to random
@elonjet@mastodon.social avatar

Landed near San Juan, (unassigned), PR. Apx. flt. time 3 h 22 min.

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@elonjet looks like they're stealing enough land down in Puerto Rico to make private unnamed air strips now?

independentpen , to actuallyautistic
@independentpen@mas.to avatar

@actuallyautistic A lot of people on here talk about meltdowns as a regular, visible thing. I know we're all different, but this is so far from my experience I started feeling a little impostery. I have had melts before, ie I've completely lost control and either: fled to save myself and others from me, or sort of left my body like a blackout (while still walking/talking) ... 1/

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@independentpen @actuallyautistic think that depending on how early meltdown start happening for you they become second nature

If you are able to put off meltdowns for a long time when it comes it's a biggie

MarjoleinRotsteeg , to poetry Dutch
@MarjoleinRotsteeg@mastodon.nl avatar
VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@MarjoleinRotsteeg @stevencudahy @poetry

Has it occurred to you that you could sing this with the same tune as Carly Simon's anticipation?

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar
sebwhatever , to actuallyautistic
@sebwhatever@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

I'm raging internally. Texting with one of my brothers and while i'm practically pleading for him to see the pain i've shouldered for ten years. He keeps making excuses and empty platitudes and victim-blaming.

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@sebwhatever @actuallyautistic

Yeah it does not get better

I tried for decades with my youngest brother

Who my family props up so much I'm calling him polished turd

That is so standoffish with me that literally no one I tell the story to isn't shocked

Sorry about this

Be gentle with yourself and bounce back as quickly as possible

Without suppressing anything

🙏

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@sebwhatever @actuallyautistic relax your abdominals, let your sternum rise

With each exhale don't let the sternum fall just let the exhale come from the gut so that it collapses while the sternum stays high

Also doing the cow/cat breathing exercise is good

On your hands and knees looking up with a flat back

Inhaling and letting the gut be heavy

Exhaling making a cat back and pushing the gut against the spine

It's just a process of letting the muscles de-knit from cockroach crouch survival

Uair , to actuallyautistic
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@actuallyautistic @AtheismActually

Did anyone notice that a lot of people seem to have broken their understanding of causality? I mean that people don't comprehend that people's actions cause future effects; they see the world as a chaotic montage rather than the plotted story it mostly is.

I know it's a defense mechanism against serious abuse as a kid, but it seems to be everywhere these days. Is the end of the world just too much for too many to handle?

VoxofGod ,
@VoxofGod@mastodon.social avatar

@Uair @actuallyautistic @AtheismActually

There were remarks written about/during the years leading up to the crisis of world war II, and how an hysteria enters the public

@AnarchoNinaWrites mentioned it several iterations ago on the bird site drawing the comparison to what is happening today... That was years ago, it's so much more so now.

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