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Kolanaki

@[email protected]

I’m just a weird, furry, pan guy (cis he/him). I also have a big, blue username.

If I was a character in Danganronpa, my talent would be The Ultimate Loser and I’d be the first character killed in the murder game.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Kolanaki ,
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takes first base.

Melts.

Kolanaki ,
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I recently tried a new feature they added that would add recommended stuff into my already made playlists. I didn’t like it and turned it off in the settings, but it still persists in basically advertising music that is completely unrelated to what I have. Like I shouldn’t be hearing fucking TikTok by Kesha in my 90’s grunge mix. It’s all the more infuriating that it continues to act as if it is on when I turned it the fuck off.

Kolanaki ,
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I imagine being a cow in Zootopia is quite lucrative. Not only do you produce a product people want to buy, you can also satisfy more carnal urges by allowing customers to be the ones milking you.

Kolanaki ,
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The very first thing you see in the scene is an elephant scooping ice cream with his trunk.

youtu.be/cIfICkJw8dA

Kolanaki ,
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Humans don’t usually sell their own milk to others or turn it into processed foods; it’s reserved for nursing their own babies. There are no lower animals in Zootopia, they are all anthropomorphic and behave like humans. So them having ice cream is akin to human women selling their milk for the masses to consume. It’s a little strange.

Kolanaki ,
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I have nipples. Milk me.

Kolanaki ,
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Baldur’s Gate 3. And when I’m finally through it, I’m going to start Wrath of the Righteous. My sister’s had it for a while and I only recently saw what it was about and I have to play it.

Kolanaki ,
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Damn right you shouldn’t have had access to the Quake 2 remaster in 1997. Time travel violates the laws of established physics.

Kolanaki ,
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Carry ons should be put in the overhead bin or tuck under your seat.

If you carry your baby onto the plane, be kind to your fellow passengers and put it in the bin.

Kolanaki ,
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looks up what a Zeekr X is

How does that look insect like and horrifying? Do car enthusiasts just see the world differently?

I trapped a raccoon in my chimney. So... what now?

This raccoon has been destroying my roof and scaring my dogs at night for months and I finally had enough. I crawled out my window in my underwear with a flashlight and a Microtech Halo in my teeth (admittedly idk what my plan was here, just enjoy the imagery) and tried to scare it off the roof but it crawled down my chimney...

Kolanaki ,
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Light a fire? 🤷🏻‍♂️

Kolanaki ,
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Every new piece of info I see about this game just tells me exactly what I was expecting. Skyrim/Fallout but with a new coat of paint. The only thing actually new and has me excited beyond knowing they generally make fun games is the space combat shit. And frankly, I’m more inclined to think it’s going to be the jankiest, most broken part of the game considering it’s still on the creation engine and vehicles have never been very good on it. But I would love to be wrong.

Kolanaki ,
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Bethesda’s been going all in on surprisingly expensive microtransactions for really tiny amounts of content, like in Fallout 4 and 76, and it wouldn’t be shocking for them to continue in that direction.

This isn’t even new. Bethesda literally set the standard for overpriced MTX with the god damn horse armor in Oblivion for $7.50. That was the first time in history the microtransaction was used and it garnered much the same response as they do now.

Kolanaki ,
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I don’t have faith in the modding scene to fix it properly (since they never did it for me for FO4 or skyrim)

Sounds like you need to learn how to make your own. The toolset isn’t very difficult to learn and can do practically everything you’d want to do mechanically to the game. Most of the mods I use are self made, because stuff I can download generally isn’t perfect. They do too much or not enough and it’s very rare that I find something that is perfectly what I want. So I make it myself.

Kolanaki ,
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Fair points but I do have issue with the combat stuff; I can’t remember the name of it, but the last time I was playing I had found a mod that made combat exactly like Dark Souls. It was a serious game changer.

That's my YouTube initial page now (lemm.ee)

EDIT: I have my YouTube history off for years. However, I still had the home feature but based only in subscriptions, likes and dislikes. It was a crap, and was crap in the time I had history on too. Recently, YouTube removed the home feature for me and made that....

Kolanaki ,
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I keep hearing about it recommending right wing media, but I have not had this experience. It recommends me stuff that is almost exactly the same as things I watch regularly which is super weird and creepy to a degree in and of itself because of how exact it is. Like, not just the topics are similar, but the film style and even the voices and looks of those on camera are extremely similar to the point where I’ve wondered if they actually are people I know but posting to different channels at times.

Kolanaki ,
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I wonder if using the same account since 2003 makes it work better? I’ve been on YT since its inception, and have never completely cleared my history; only removed certain items to prevent it using that data because I didn’t like the content.

Kolanaki ,
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Man, I am white, live in a predominantly white country, and notice even white people looking the same and confusing them for other people. I’m not so sure it’s such a big deal. Humans look pretty close together and is why we constantly bicker about small differences like skin color and eye size; cuz there ain’t much else that’s different. 🙁

Kolanaki ,
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And they are all correct.

Kolanaki ,
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Gas pockets in your turd would also make it float. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Kolanaki ,
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Just go in the shower and waffle stomp it down the drain!

Kolanaki , (edited )
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Mentally, yes. But some of those children are in the bodies of middle aged men.

Honestly, I think it really depends on the spaces. Meme communities and video game communities? Full of kids. Politics and news? Maybe a few teens be trolling, but it’s mostly just dumb ass adults. Super crazy niche hobbies, especially those that take years of work like building your own electronics? If there are kids there, they are geniuses and you’d probably never know they’re a child.

I’m 38. I guarantee I probably sound like a kid when I’m gushing about a game or something I like, since everything I am into is generally thought of as for kids. Video games, comic books, Lego, etc. And I constantly equate other more serious things to these things I am more familiar with when I see parallels.

Not to mention autistic people are both extremely present online and in technical fields, but also can be perceived as child-like.

Kolanaki ,
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Why does the sofa on the right seem like it’s superimposed in, but not the dog that I know had to be? 🤔

Kolanaki ,
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I once opened a portapotty at a local sporting event to see a literal mountain of shit rising from the cistern/tank it all goes into that came to a peak about 2 or 3 inches above the seat. I am, to this day, confounded as to how and more importantly why the last few poopers actually managed to get the shit that high without sitting directly on the mound.

Kolanaki ,
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So it’s finally actually happening? I’ve been hearing whispers and rumors about Skull and Bones for a few years now.

Kolanaki ,
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When first I heard about it, they were saying it was going to be like Sea of Thieves but better, after SoT had some disappointments.

Kolanaki ,
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Every day since I was in junior high about. Knowing that I have nothing to really look forward to except working a job I don’t really want to afford to barely keep myself alive right up until the day I die, alone and forgotten.

Kolanaki ,
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The more it stretches, the more sauce can be applied. 🤤

Kolanaki ,
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This has only ever fucked me up with a recent game because they use the colors of a PlayStation controller (which I am using) but the buttons are for Xbox. So when it said I needed to press X to finalize my character at creation, I kept pressing X and nothing was happening.

Kolanaki ,
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If Nintendo 64 had a Dickbutton, it would be at the tip of the middle handle, and the Z button would be balls.

Kolanaki ,
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half the length of an original NES controller

God damn. If you haven’t held an original NES controller since back in the day when you were a kid, lemme tell you: They are already fucking small. This thing would definitely suck to use unless you are under the age of 10 or have dwarfism (or possibly Donald Trump).

Kolanaki ,
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https://yiffit.net/pictrs/image/3572fd90-68e9-403a-800c-b1b9767e0d5e.jpeg

Kolanaki ,
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It would totally depend on my enthusiasm. More often, though, it means worse.

Worse: “Yeah, it’s pretty good. But…” <- Talking about a game or a movie

Better: “Whoa! This is pretty good!” <- Food!

Kolanaki ,
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All I’ve ever seen are those little tiny straws they call swizzle sticks. I would use them like straws when I was a kid. Super small, super hard to suck through straws.

Kolanaki ,
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Me: “I don’t believe in souls.”

The woman: “I do. I can see yours right now.”

Kolanaki , (edited )
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Why is everyone so damn hot?

I can’t say for anyone else, but Karlach is hot because of that infernal engine she has for a heart. :P

Why can’t I sort or filter items during trading or in the party view?

You can on a controller. Press in the left stick. The fact the UI between a controller and the M&KB is so completely different and you get dumb differences like this is another amateur hour move. I’ve played entirely on controller, but from talking to other people and seeing my sister play on her laptop, the M&KB interface is garbage and offers for fewer options far some damn reason.

AI bots are so good at mimicking the human brain and vision that CAPTCHAs are useless - The bots’ accuracy is up to 15% higher than that of humans (qz.com)

AI bots are so good at mimicking the human brain and vision that CAPTCHAs are useless - The bots’ accuracy is up to 15% higher than that of humans::The bots’ accuracy is up to 15% higher than that of humans

Kolanaki ,
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So the AI is able to tell when that 1 pixel in the corner is actually part of a motorcycle?

Kolanaki ,
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Yo! Pick up the phone!

Wassssuuuuuuuuppppp?!

Kolanaki ,
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Is this an AI generated response?

Kolanaki ,
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Sham-wow didn’t come out until 2006.

Kolanaki ,
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It was first used in '86 with Gradius, but wasn’t popularized until the 90’s. Most notably with Contra on the NES, which released only a year after Gradius.

Kolanaki ,
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Billy Mays was around in the marketing industry for quite some time, though I don’t think he got popularized outside of the industry itself as a commercial star until Oxy Clean or Flex Seal came around. IIRC, he had something to do with the “As Seen On TV” stuff that you’d constantly see throughout the 90’s, but he wasn’t the on camera spokesperson then, that I remember. But then again, I was 5 in 1990, so my memories are probably not solid. lol

Kolanaki ,
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Also, to be fair here, even if you recognize stuff from the 80’s, and you’re still around now, then you definitely lived through the 90’s. lol

Kolanaki ,
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I am both of those things.

Kolanaki ,
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To be fair, there is a new Lion King.

But I’d rather have the old one and understand if you forgot it on purpose.

Kolanaki ,
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You couldn’t predict it, but you can kind of coax where it will strike with lightning rods. If you could send the power to a battery of some kind to be discharged when needed, that’d be handy. Never hurts to have extra energy lying around in storage.

Kolanaki ,
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Every time I hear the phrase “spread the load” I keep remembering a scene from a movie where some kid jerks off in his pants and then wipes his jizz on a bunch of books in the library. Can’t remember the name of the film, but I remember it had Jeff Daniels in it as the kid’s dad and that one scene.

What is internet funeral?

!internetfuneral is a fan made magazine of the original subreddit /r/internet_funeral. The point of this magazine is for posting surreal and obscure art (or images that could be interpreted as art) that has text in them. This does NOT include memes, so don’t post those here. (While there will be some exemptions for this, most...

Kolanaki ,
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This is the longest funeral I’ve ever attended.

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