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@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org cover
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

DoctorDisco

@[email protected]

Just your average, run-of-the-mill, grey-haired Scottish Doct..er.. Mathematician. I neither possess a medical degree nor a twin record deck but I do remember disco when made its first appearance. #Steampunk #Gaming #Autism #AutisticOver50 #AutisticElder #Discworld #HHGTTG #HomeAssistant #RaspberryPi 🏳️‍🌈

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Cattz , to actuallyautistic Spanish
@Cattz@paquita.masto.host avatar

@actuallyautistic little help searching for a video, please 👏
I remember seen a video from a white male autistic who makes videos about autism but I can't remember his name. The video was an appointment (father and child) with a doctor about the autistic child (girl, I believe) and how the doctor talked as if the child was not there and the parent raising concerns.

DoctorDisco ,
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

@sinmisterios @Cattz @actuallyautistic Funnily enough (Ie. Not even remotely funny-haha at all!)
In my own diagnosis interview not only did I need to ask my MUM to fill in a childhood behavioural questionnaire (bear in mind I was 45 when I had my interview as a late-DXer) I also had to have my wife there so they could ask her and not just take my word for it.

I can't imagine a child going through that process. I found it hard as an adult and I felt devalued.

Still got my dx in the end though!

Tim_McTuffty , to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 312 , Wednesday 04/09/2024

A very disturbed nights sleep, despite equipping myself with earplugs to silence young Oliver I struggled to sleep, never getting much deeper than a light doze all night!

Up around 6:30 , made breakfast & cleared up then went back to bed & got another hour or so of broken sleep.

Mostly a quiet day, played some NMS with a certain Pixy of my acquaintance & then read for a while.

Even though sunny days usually lift my mood I found it hard going today.

Salad & quiche for tea, Mrs S praising the presentation - one of the reasons I cook is that she has a habit of literally slapping food on a plate - presentation being something others care about.

Watched the first episode of ‘Sister Boniface’ tonight which was ok , possibly a little twee for me but it may grow on me.

Final Thoughts.

I hope I get some proper sleep tonight - I really need it!
I must finish the ADHD questionnaire tomorrow & find the courage to ask my sister if she will do the Informant form.

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic

DoctorDisco ,
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

@TeflonTrout @Tim_McTuffty @PixysJourney @actuallyautistic I treat NMS as a base building game XD I always play solo (at least as solo as you can XD) and trying fun and unusual ways to crash the galactic economy by flooding the market with overpriced <<INSERT MINERALS OF CHOICE>> all while trying to get the coolest ship I can ;)

I've played the storyline through at least once so now I just mess around. :D

DoctorDisco , to actuallyautistic
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

So, I've been signed off work for the last week. I've been suffering and had a at work. I have been prescribed anti-anxiety medication and the GP wanted to sign me off but I know this would be counter productive as I'm spend the time at home worrying about work.

I've been trying to source counselling via work who provide a mental health service.

unfortunately all links end up with a phone number to call :(

I can't do calls!

@actuallyautistic

DoctorDisco , to actuallyautistic
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

So my community.

Prepare for an onslaught of under-educated, armchair-expert commentary over the next few days.

This poorly written (and even more poorly researched_ article has just hit the UK press.

(the link to the original story is paywalled. This MSN link should display)

Another so called

if Autism isn't progressive.. how can it be reversed?? It's cure sh*te under a different name.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/other/autism-can-be-reversed-scientists-discover/ar-BB1qkjlb?ocid=BingNewsSerp

@actuallyautistic

DoctorDisco OP ,
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

@dzwiedziu @actuallyautistic

here you go. Full text in Alt text of images two (had to dupe the 2nd pic to get all the alt text in)

usual twaddle and poor research/control.

Improvements unlikely to be undone The scientists do not use the term “cure”, but believe the improvements are unlikely to be undone over time. “Because autism is a developmental condition, one can safely say that once they have overcome the developmental aspects of autism and returned to a typical developmental trajectory, they are very unlikely to exhibit the common symptoms of autism again,” said Dr D’Adamo. “Symptoms that could return might be more along the lines of things like anxiety, gastrointestinal issues, sensory issues, but not necessarily the behavioural aspects of autism.” The twins underwent behavioural analysis, speech therapy and a strict gluten-free diet and nutrition programme as part of the trial to reduce inflammation. The diet was casein-free, a protein found in milk; low-sugar; had no artificial colours or dyes; zero ultra-processed foods; primarily organic; and locally sourced. The girls were also given daily supplements for omega-3 fatty acids, multivitamins, vitamin D, carnitine, and others. ‘No singular cure to reverse symptoms’ Writing in the study, published in the MDPI journal Sexes, the anonymous parents said they knew there would not be a “singular cure” to reverse the symptoms and instead the programme focused on alleviating the “total load” on the children.
“Despite sharing similar genes and identical conception, gestation, birth experience, and post-natal factors - as well as benefiting from consistent nurture, home environment and family dynamics - each daughter presented an ASD diagnosis entirely uniquely,” they write. “Conventional statistics have stacked the odds against the ability to recover a child from an ASD diagnosis. “Our approach was therefore focused on following a nonconventional, holistic understanding of each daughter’s individual needs, exploring root cause and designing customised support. “We committed to being highly involved in all the interventions we explored, educating ourselves and advocating for what we felt was best for our children. “Most importantly, our experience as parents has been the desire to create and maintain a profound and loving bond with each of our daughters - and to remain parents, not practitioners. “Through this approach, we have witnessed the radical recovery of one daughter - who presents today as a joyful, engaging, spirited, extremely bright four-year-old. “We remain steadfast in our support for our other daughter whose progress has also consistently amazed us and has reminded us that recovery is possible at each person’s individual pace.” The case study is published in the Journal of Personalized Medicine.

Richard_Littler , to actuallyadhd
@Richard_Littler@mastodon.social avatar

I've been trying to learn German for years but progress is glacially slow. Sometimes it's like trying to nail water to the wall; it just doesn't stick. Anyone else with an , or diagnosis have issues with second language acquisition? Is it a neurodivergent 'thing'?
Or is it simply that I'm not very good at picking up languages?

@actuallyautistic
@actuallyadhd

DoctorDisco ,
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

@Richard_Littler @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd My wife and I go to Europe a lot. However she has ZERO capacity for foreign languages. I however, am brilliant at cramming. So a month before the hols I'll cram French, German, Italian, Spanish etc whatever and be fairly fluent for a week, 10 days tops!.. but then slowly it fades. I can't retain it no matter how I try but my "short term" learning is fabulous. I can memorise heaps of data, facts etc quickly but retention is my main issue.

DoctorDisco ,
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

@alexisbushnell @Richard_Littler @actuallyautistic I definitely have a spiky something! As stated previously, I have great capacity for memorisation but poor long term retention.. FOR MOST things..

However, my memory for 1970's TV jingles and adverts, the first 216 digits of Pi, Quotes from movies spanning the last 5 decades, useless trivia and nearly every one line joke and pun I've ever heard seems somehow infinite and nigh on photographic XD

That and Math.. of course. (it's my bag)

DoctorDisco , to random
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

I know many autistic individuals (myself included) who (on the whole) are not assholes.

on the contrary I find the vast majority to be very concerned about "doing the right thing"

unfortunately all you need to be an asshole is a desire to be said asshole.

As such, echo the sentiments of others here and say ditch that person.

The "Oh I'm not an asshole/racist/sexist/etc ... I'm autistic!" argument didn't work for Musk and it won't work for others.

he can still be autistic AND an asshole.

DoctorDisco OP ,
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

I should add, for completeness sakes, I am not without my own periods of assholery.

I do constantly strive to avoid it.. but occasionally, it rears its ugly head(s).

However, I go on record to say I've never been a major asshole.. just a minor garden variety asshole.. espousing my strongly held opinons over trivial matters blown out of all proportion :) hehe

DoctorDisco OP ,
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

I don't know what I did wrong... I've had "a day" of stress and problems..

but that wasn't SUPPOSED to be a subtoot but this pair of toots were meant to be a reply to a question asked by @alexisbushnell

and copied to

@actuallyautistic

i should close masto before I set everything alight. Seems today everything I touch is breaking XD

AnAutieAtUni , to actuallyautistic
@AnAutieAtUni@beige.party avatar

When asking for advice about finding ND friendship groups, many people don’t realise they start with saying they asked their existing friendship group if they’d like to form a new interest-based group.

If this is you, please take a moment to realise how wonderful this sounds to someone like me who has literally never had this in my adult life. I’m not bitter / mad for people who say this - but I do hope you realise your friendship groups sound like literal, real life treasures to me. Most of the time I wonder if ND friendship groups are myths, but when you say this it reminds me they are real and exist… somewhere.

Ultimately, what I’m hearing is that we can do all the strategies possible to try to meet friends and form those groups, but many of you make it sound like you didn’t really have to try. It’s like you naturally found a group, maybe ‘right place, right time’, etc. And that really does make sense.

I’ve been leading a fake NT life, making choices that NTs would make (due to being later identified ND). I now wonder if I give off vibes that are not NT enough and not ND enough to truly mix with anyone. I would much rather be true to myself: fully ND. But unmasking after four decades of heavy masking… so much of it is unconscious. Until then, I just don’t seem to fit anywhere. (I won’t give up - this is simply a statement.)

Feeling a LOT of self blame for being so isolated. Maybe it’s a natural process for later identified ND?

@actuallyautistic

DoctorDisco ,
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

@AnAutieAtUni @actuallyautistic I know where you're coming from. I'm lucky in that I have social support from my wife. (I still don't know quite how I managed to get married despite my lack of social skills but that's a whole different long story XD) But apart from her I have ZERO friends.

Apologies to people on here who think of me as a friend. allow me to explain.

I'm "friendly" with a lot of people on here. But none of you I've ever met. I doubt I will ever meet the majority or any of you.

DoctorDisco ,
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

@AnAutieAtUni @actuallyautistic I am "Friendly" with people at work. But again I wouldn't call them friends per se. I'm "presenting a friendly exterior to grease the wheels of employment" I neither expect them to share social time outside of work, nor would I wish to spend time with them outside of work.

I am, what NT's would call, "Lonely" however I don't see it this way. I'm very comfortable in my singularity.

I think my NT wife worries about it more than I do truth be told.

DoctorDisco ,
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

@AnAutieAtUni @actuallyautistic however, that said. I don't function well without social contact. My wife and I have frequently had the "After I'm gone..." speech.

If I don't use my social skills regularly I tend to lose them.

My wife went away for a fortnight long spiritual retreat. When she came back I had difficulty speaking and would prefer being alone DESPITE missing her company terribly.

I lost my ability to "human" effectively.

DoctorDisco ,
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

@AnAutieAtUni @actuallyautistic I like my own company. All social contact outside of work is via my wife. I will go with her to stately homes, or gardens or the beach. I'll join her when she visits her friends. And I'll chat amiably to her friends and their partners and I'll even be the convivial host for any dinner parties my wife organises.

but they're not MY friends. if she goes before me I'll see them at the funeral and then, most likely, never again ! I will be 100% isolated and alone.

DoctorDisco ,
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

@AnAutieAtUni @actuallyautistic This worries her. Oddly it doesn't worry me quite so much. I'm hoping this isn't going to happen for quite some time. I'm approaching retirement anyway so post retirement I won't have any requirement to be "socially conscious" at work as I won't need to go to work.

I'll probably fill my days on whatever social media platform exists in 20 to 30 years time and potter around in my shed.

my only concern is a morbid technical one. what happens then if I die?

DoctorDisco ,
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

@AnAutieAtUni @actuallyautistic I mean it matters not a jot to me. I'm dead. I don't believe in the afterlife or spirits or anything like that.

I do, however, have an over developed sense of "not wanting to be a bother or cause issue"

I'd hate to be left alone in my house etc and not be found for "some time"

so as much as I would hate it... I'll probably sell up and check into an old folks home if I'm left behind. Not for the company.. just for the convenience of ... y'know. ;)

olena , to actuallyautistic
@olena@mementomori.social avatar

We got free lunches at work: on the weekend, they send the menu, people choose between three options for each of two meals for each workday, and the food is delivered every day fresh from a restaurant nearby(not a fancy one, typical “homemade” food). If you need, they provide options for vegans or food restricting diets.

I am the only person in the office not doing that. I cannot explain to my coworkers why.
No, I don’t think the food is bad. No, I am not dieting, I am not looking for ‘something healthy’, I am not counting calories.

I am eating at work my fruit and yogurt every day, not being restricted to the time when their food arrives, and I am happy.

I can’t explain to them that I can’t carry such a commitment as decide on a weekend what to eat each day, and have to follow that. What if I don’t feel like that food? What if it’s not what I pictured in my head when ordering? What if I am not hungry? What if I get hungry earlier? And I just can’t do a full meal in the middle of a day and work after that. The meal should be at home, with some rest after it, or in the restaurant, with a good walk before and after, and good conversation during it. And I don’t want to eat a salad if it wasn’t done this very second right here because of frivolous microbiology thoughts. And anyway I prefer to cook myself, when I know perfectly well what it is, how it is done, and I balance the tastes and flavors to my own liking(I like to go to gourmet places somewhere, but it’s not an everyday experience, I doubt I’d be able to eat out every day anyway)

So, I’ve been asked again and again why wouldn’t I order something for myself, and every time I have to say ‘no, thanks’ and can’t tell why.

Apparently I am a picky eater.



@actuallyautistic

DoctorDisco ,
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

@olena @actuallyautistic 100% reasonable.

My office has frequent "social bonding lunches" with free food, music and games. I never attend. "Oh but it's fun!" Not for me it isn't. It's noisy, crowded with limited food options.

I never eat in the canteen either, I always eat alone at my desk.

I don't go to team after work drinks and never attend Christmas parties.

Apparently I'm "Anti social" and "snobbish"

DoctorDisco ,
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

@olena @actuallyautistic "except of the obligatory ones from the big boss"

Oh I refuse those too. To her face, then casually direct her to the HR "adjustments passport" that her team rolled out to great applause and telling her it's on record I don't attend these things and it's been signed off by my director.. then thank her for rolling out such a beneficial system..

.. and watch as she realises she's been hoisted by her own petard. She can't say anything as that would undermine herself!

DoctorDisco ,
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

@olena @actuallyautistic no, I unfortunately started off in mathematics and engineering then ended up working for huge multinationals before getting absorbed by defence, MoD and, lately, the cabinet office.

I did work for F1 McLaren for a while. That was a toxic mess. XD

AnAutieAtUni , to actuallyadhd
@AnAutieAtUni@beige.party avatar

ADHD assessment done. Hi 👋 I’m officially AuDHD. What the flip.

No idea how I feel about this yet. May take a few days. Feel VERY sensitive about this right now so please be kind in the replies. Not sure whether to cry, be happy, relieved, or just overwhelmed… I’ll settle for a few silent expletives and going non-speaking for a while (days?).

(P.S. Self identifying is valid. I had just realised I may as well self identify regardless of the assessment outcome, but I’m someone who needed this second opinion by a qualified clinician. My self dx’s of autism and ADHD have both proved to be accurate.)

@actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic

DoctorDisco ,
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

@pathfinder @AnAutieAtUni @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic what Kevin said, 115.75% this ;)

I was diagnosed Autistic in my mid 40's.. I'm in my mid 50's now and STILL coming terms with it. The bulk of it I took.. oh maybe a year or two to fully process? The big/most obvious stuff about 2 to 3 months from diagnosis.. but as time went on I kept finding more to process.

It's nothing to worry about. It's quite cathartic but it's not an instant fix. You have a lifetimes experiences to reevaluate

olena , to actuallyautistic
@olena@mementomori.social avatar

I don’t operate the world putting everything into defined folders and boxes of clear tree-like structure (like I do on my laptop).
I operate the world by slapping infinite amount of tags on everything (which do not exist independently like in some tag cloud, but are rather interconnected in their own ways), and then tag-filtering or pulling the chain of tags when I need.
Sure, from outside that looks like a totally random chaotic pile, but it has its own structure, just the structure is different to what is usually pictured as a structure.

I know, autists are usually pictured as the ones requiring the boxes, but is it necessarily the boxes autists crave, or other forms of structure also work?





@actuallyautistic

DoctorDisco ,
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

@pathfinder @olena @actuallyautistic My office is a mess. It looks like Staples, PC world, The Ghost of Maplins and Pimoroni collaborated in building a dirty bomb and detonated it in situ.

My bookshelves, however are pristine.

My wife despairs at me when out shopping as, if we visit a big bookshop, I have a compulsion to sort the shelves.

My office desk, disorganized chaos.. my bookshelves "not quite dewey decimal classified but definitely haunted by a ghostly librarian!"

DoctorDisco ,
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

@pathfinder @olena @actuallyautistic I have a database for my DVD/BluRay collection. XD

I used to have 5000 VHS cassettes (imagine the space that took up!) but I got rid of those and ended up with around 4000 DVD's. I now have about 3000 assorted BluRays and DVD's (after i moved in with my now wife) and I need a database to track what I already own as I'm prone to purchasing dupes!

But they're alphabetical sorted in clip folders (sans cases) in punched pockets with 4 dvd's to a page.

partially sorted, filed dvd's with database printout
The process. Piles of Loose DVD's in alphabetical columns.. note this is an old picture. My collection is considerably larger than this now.

Richard_Littler , to actuallyautistic
@Richard_Littler@mastodon.social avatar

I don't bother going outside that much, so when I found myself in Bern main train station during rush hour this morning, my brain went from Mondrian to Pollock in about half a second. Talk about sensory overload.


@actuallyautistic

Pollock painting

DoctorDisco ,
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

@Richard_Littler @actuallyautistic yeah but you have to admit. Mondrian made better Cybermen... The Pollock Cybermen were all over the place :D

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/profiles/5jG8WYvpGkM5t7vD4DjSj54/mondasian-cybermen

pathfinder , to actuallyautistic
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@actuallyautistic

It's day.

Pride, is both a celebration and an affirmation of our existence. It is the latter for me that is all important. As someone who very late in life realised I was autistic, I had spent a lifetime knowing only that I was different, but not how. It was a hole in me that I couldn't fill, a sense of something missing, a lack that always felt more about how broken I was than anything. As a consequence it became something to hide, to mask and to be ashamed of. It was my dirty, dark secret and the core of my existence. The knowledge that no matter what, I was wrong and always would be.

Realising I was autistic, filled that hole. It taught me to see the difference as, if not always positive, at least natural and normal. I was never broken, I was just trying to function in the world in the way that was right for me. A world, that in so many ways, was hostile to that, unforgiving about difference and those who stood out too far. I had, in fact, been simply trying my best with the tools that I had, the tools that came naturally to me, even if no one else ever saw that.

Having a day to remember this. To remember the past and the pain and the blind struggle. To remember how far I've come and how much I've learnt and have yet to learn (because finally I can). To be able to stand out and say "yes, I am", is important not just for us, but others walking this path. For too long being autistic was a dark and terrible secret. For too long its truth has been hidden behind ignorance and misinformation. That is what days like this are for and why they are so important. To show the world that autism and being autistic, is nothing to hide and nothing to fear. Happy pride day everyone.


DoctorDisco ,
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

@pathfinder @actuallyautistic I missed the fact it was Autistic Pride Day.. I'm not proud about that! XD

DoctorDisco , to random
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

My wife and I had the "Friends" talk again today.

We're both getting on in years. She's older than me and she's worried that if she goes before me (not imminently.. 20 to 30 years at least I hope) I'll be on my own without friends.

I keep telling there's a difference between being lonely or being alone.

I don't really have a social life outside of my wife and her friends (and I consider them HER friends rather than mine) but that's fine for me

DoctorDisco OP ,
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

The whole conversation was triggered by me saying I had planned a cycle route up around our old stomping ground of Dulwich.. and my wife suggested I call in to visit a "friend of ours"

I told her I really wouldn't feel comfortable calling on them without her present as I considered them more her friend than mine and that I was only "friends by association" which triggered the whole "who do you consider friends?" Conversation which led to the "im worried about you being lonely" chat

DoctorDisco OP ,
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

Makes me wonder about other people deal with loneliness and isolation. Do you have a social support network? Have you thought about what you'd do post retirement? Do you have a partner? If so have you considered what you'd do if you outlive them? How do deal with being on your own?


@actuallyautistic

filmfreak75 , to actuallyautistic
@filmfreak75@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic looking for non-rabid fans for discussions of both the classic and revival series

and by non-rabid, i mean people not on the “it’s gone woke”, “Jodi Whittaker destroyed the series”, etc. bandwagon

DoctorDisco ,
@DoctorDisco@mendeddrum.org avatar

@lexx3000 @Susan60 @filmfreak75 @actuallyautistic I LOVED Jodie's spin on the Doctor. I just wish she had better stories. The one with the frog? That was, IMHO, a very low point. Some ok stories but nothing really grabbed me. Likewise I like Ncuti too but the jury's still out on the stories so far. A couple of good ones but a couple of stinkers too.

However I like what he brings to the role. We've had weird, angry, troubled, brooding.. now we're back to fun and energetic. Again all IMHO. :)

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