We're both getting on in years. She's older than me and she's worried that if she goes before me (not imminently.. 20 to 30 years at least I hope) I'll be on my own without friends.
I keep telling there's a difference between being lonely or being alone.
I don't really have a social life outside of my wife and her friends (and I consider them HER friends rather than mine) but that's fine for me #autistic#ActuallyAutistic
The whole conversation was triggered by me saying I had planned a cycle route up around our old stomping ground of Dulwich.. and my wife suggested I call in to visit a "friend of ours"
I told her I really wouldn't feel comfortable calling on them without her present as I considered them more her friend than mine and that I was only "friends by association" which triggered the whole "who do you consider friends?" Conversation which led to the "im worried about you being lonely" chat #Autistic
Makes me wonder about other #ActuallyAutistic people deal with loneliness and isolation. Do you have a social support network? Have you thought about what you'd do post retirement? Do you have a partner? If so have you considered what you'd do if you outlive them? How do deal with being on your own?
@DoctorDisco@actuallyautistic
That’s a very important question. I‘m divorced, my also autistic children have left the house but aren’t fully independent yet. So I have to stay healthy enough to work enough to support them.
I do have a social network, but it mainly consists of ND folx who are struggling themselves.
I plan to sublet to a close friend to lower our fixed costs and to be present in case of emergency. After retirement - no plans yet.
@DoctorDisco@actuallyautistic I'm gonna be the kooky widow that lives in a cute cottage. I'm exceedingly good at being alone, but I can make friends easily. I have friends dotted around the city. Some we met when moved here, some I've known longer than I've known him. We dragged a small chunk of our uni friend circle here with us.
We joke that he'll be found lying in a ditch a few months after I'm gone. He has a huge circle of friends but they're almost all as chaotic as he is...
I love my alone time, and I would feel very much like you are if someone kept emphasizing to me that I need to go make friends.
I don't know how I would feel being alone for an extended period. I've been alone for 2-3 weeks and not felt particularly lonely within that time period - but I also knew my wife was coming back.
My very small social network (2-3 close friends) is almost exclusively online. When I don't talk to those people regularly, I feel lonely. That makes me think that socializing online is enough to fend off the loneliness, but I'm not entirely sure.
Honestly - you know yourself better than anyone else. If you've given it some thought and concluded that it's not important to you, and you don't feel like you're missing anything, that's perfectly okay and valid.
@DoctorDisco@actuallyautistic
I am by nature very solitary. Always lived alone and very happily. The lockdowns for me were a dream and heaven
However, as I get older and with only a couple of nieces left to call my family and virtually no support network I am conscious I may have to change my ways somewhat and begin to work on that a little.
Just not entirely sure how yet.