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programmer_humor

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PhlubbaDubba , in Brainfuck is the sixth circle

The Base3 arithmetic alone makes me deeply upset

Base36 is where it’s at! Super divisibility, 0-Z keyspace, and “10” is a Square that’s also the product of two squares.

Plus you can count to “40” (144) on your hands!

Pogogunner ,

How do you count in base36 on your hands? I seem to only have 10 (decimal notation) fingers

ShaunaTheDead ,

You can count up to 1023 in base 2 using your fingers to represent 0s and 1s.

Pogogunner ,

I understand this, but I didn’t know how one would count up to 36 the first time around. PhlubbaDubba is using joints in their fingers to get additional objects to increment on. If we only used our fingers, we could only get to 10

PhlubbaDubba ,

In theory yes, in practice…fingers don’t like cooperating with the combinations of bent and up that you can get by doing that

magikmw ,

Yeah, fingers have a strong union.

mnemonicmonkeys ,

Speak for yourself

Hypermobility ftw

LazerFX ,

I do it regularly… I particularly like 4.

In all seriousness, I use it when I need to time something - 32 on one hand means one minute (approximately) with two rotations. I started when trying to determine if my daughter was asleep, waiting for a minute after she’d last moved or talked, and I didn’t want a screen or light or noise to wake her (she’s always been hard to get to sleep).

So - yeah it’s a tiny bit tricky to do some combos, but no more than touch typing.

PhlubbaDubba ,

Using your thumbs as pointers, count the joints in your fingers on one hand, that gets you to 12, use the other hand’s finger joints to count the thirds within 36, with 4 fingers on the other hand, that’s “40”

xigoi ,
@xigoi@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

Each hand is one base-6 digit.

www.seximal.net/finger-counting (SFW)

Hazzia ,

seximal

(SFW)

:(

sirico , in Someone needs to be reminded that anticompetitive practices are illegal
@sirico@feddit.uk avatar

I give it about 10 years before the EU is invaded by the US after corporate lobbying

scroll_responsibly ,
@scroll_responsibly@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

Or a couple of months if the EPP win the next EU elections.

uis ,

I need context

Zacryon ,

Europeans People Party, large political party within the EU which is largely full of conservative right-wing folks with the german Ursula Gertrud von der Leyen at it’s top. She is also currently president of the European Commission and has been known to be involved in corruption and to favour company interests, as well as the rest of the fuckers in the EPP.

So I guess the context is: If EPP stays in power, that’s good for top-business-people, but bad for everyone else. Thereby detrimental for such competitive-practise-laws.

uis ,

Thanks. It seems EU needs Navalny too. Fucking Putin.

TCB13 ,
@TCB13@lemmy.world avatar

Europeans People Party, large political party within the EU which is largely full of conservative right-wing folks

First the EPP is center-right, not conservative right-wing.

So I guess the context is: If EPP stays in power, that’s good for top-business-people, but bad for everyone else.

Second there’s too much leftists’ bullshit already in EU member states and all that power vacuum created by key keep such as Angela Merkel leaving governments created all the right conditions for the US, Ukraine and Russia to start a war at the EU border that only benefits the USA and has a large economical impact on the EU.

uis ,

First the EPP is center-right, not conservative right-wing.

Are they soc-dems?

TCB13 ,
@TCB13@lemmy.world avatar

They do include a LOT of people from doc-dem parties in EU member states. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/European_People's_Party

Not sure if you know how the EU “parties” work but the members aren’t directly elected like in other places. They simply have a bunch of chairs that get filled with people from member state parties that applied to be part of that EU level organization. We most likely shouldn’t even call them political parties.

uis ,

Political bloc then

Zacryon ,

First the EPP is center-right, not conservative right-wing.

As far as I can see it, they are conservative-right wing. It’s even clear from the first sentence of the Wikipedia article you posted further down:

with Christian-democratic,[4] liberal-conservative,[4] and conservative[5][6] member parties

Second there’s too much leftists’ bullshit already in EU member states

You mean like those competiveness laws discussed in this post?

that only benefits the USA

Sounds like a conspiracy myth to me. Feel free to elaborate.

TCB13 ,
@TCB13@lemmy.world avatar

As far as I can see it, they are conservative-right wing.

I’m sorry, that’s not what they identify with…

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/517a7b68-4dbc-42a5-ba3f-88681bcdbd03.png

SomeAmateur ,

A guarantee of deploying to europe would be great for military retention! Everyone is tired of fighting forever wars in the desert

unionagainstdhmo ,
@unionagainstdhmo@aussie.zone avatar

Yeah take me back to the early 20th century, that was when you could get some good warring in

optissima ,
TCB13 ,
@TCB13@lemmy.world avatar

I give it about 10 years before the EU is invaded by the US after corporate lobbying

No need. The US most likely pushed Ukraine and Russia into a war that essentially is a way to put so much pressure in the EU economy that things will fail one way or the other.

AngryCommieKender ,

The US promptly forgot that Ukraine existed once they gave Russia their nukes back, and didn’t bother to think about them again until Russia invaded. The major exception being Hunter Biden, and he has never been in politics so he doesn’t count.

Viper_NZ ,

Russia (and Putin) are so weak the USA forced them to invade their neighbour?

Cope.

TCB13 ,
@TCB13@lemmy.world avatar

Russia (and Putin) are so weak the USA forced them to invade their neighbour?

I’m not saying that is or that isn’t the case. What I know is that in this war, right after Ukraine, the EU is the most affected party. The US is the one that has most to gain from destabilizing the EU economy and weakening the Euro.

Viper_NZ ,

Politically sure, but economically the USA is hurt by this war. You may as well make the case that it’s in China’s interest, or Indias.

But that wouldn’t align with Kremlin disinformation that you’re spreading. Wilfully or not.

theluddite , in White House weighing in on the big issues
@theluddite@lemmy.ml avatar

We need to set aside our petty differences and fight the true enemy: bloated IDEs.

wise_pancake ,

ed is the standard editor.

notabot ,

Bah, a magnetised needle and a steady hand is the one true way to edit code on your prod system.

nephs ,

I used to have my local environment synced to prod. Saving meant deployed.

Everything was feature flagged by default, we never broke production in years. That was early 2010s.

wise_pancake ,

That’s non standard though.

ThePinkUnicorn , (edited )

Excuse me, but real programmers use butterflies.

theneverfox ,
@theneverfox@pawb.social avatar

Hah, still relying on butterflies? Real programmers simply use the starting conditions of the universe to understand where their program will spontaneously compile

BananaOnionJuice ,
@BananaOnionJuice@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

You shouldn’t let your Visual ideas be Eclipsed, by something Sublime…

abbadon420 ,

Such an IntelliJent comment.

funnystuff97 ,

return to your roots: use notepad

iknowitwheniseeit ,

Emacs was the first bloated IDE!

XTL , in STOP USING GITHUB
SidewaysHighways ,

Will things like setting up a “stack” in portainer on docker be able to use the github alternatives like codeberg? or will those kinds of things need to be rebuilt?

gnutrino ,

They should™ work with any git repo hosted by any method right down to running git-http-backend as a CGI script I would have thought.

SidewaysHighways ,

Noice, noice!

Thanks for your response, cousin!

peak_dunning_krueger ,

Anyone got a commmand line tool change all my stuff? Because if I have to do change all the remotes all the time, for dozens of projects I’m going to lose my mind.

Also the migration on gitlab/codeberg looked like an amount of effort that doesn’t round down to zero.

Aatube ,
@Aatube@kbin.social avatar

(note, the GitLab Enterprise Edition, which is provided to the public on gitlab.com, is (like GitHub) trade-secret, proprietary, vendor-lock-in software)

Isn't EE source-available but proprietary? Plus if you just use the free tier you're not using any enterprise features

MonkderZweite , in Bill is a pro grammer

Bill does not work with other people.

MystikIncarnate ,

More like, other people won’t work with Bill.

Smoogs ,

“Nobody wants to work anymore” -bad manager mating call.

Transporter_Room_3 , in Alcohol is my way to turn myself on and off again
@Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website avatar

I have a friend who works for a local, but widespread bank, and got to head up their digital security and IT stuff. Not sure what all it encompasses, but he quickly found out that it was a lot, and the previous guy quit because he had had enough bullshit.

Long story shorter, after a particularly bad week, he decided to just… Stop doing his job.

Kept all their legal stuff and sensitive info under lock and key, but the smaller stuff, he just let it go. Went on vacation, turned everything off, didn’t do everything for a temporary replacement (which isn’t even his job, it’s hr’s) and spent a week playing video games and spending time with his wife and baby.

Several employees just in his building basically ended up doing nothing by the end of the first day because they had locked themselves out of the system.

By day 3 there were several lines that couldn’t be used by the tellers in every branch, older employees were bricking their systems so fast, construction workers started taking notes.

By the end of the week they had people showing up at his door to try and contact him since nobody could get ahold of him. Some legit thought he was dead.

His first words when he got into the office on Monday, we’re “THAT is why you pay me.”

And after that, he was given 3 people to help out (he had been asking for 4) and they had a company come in and redo a lot of the computer systems that year.

Still works for the bank, still has a team although I think they’re bigger now since they’ve opened a few more branches, and still tells that story at every gathering after his one single beer gets him tipsy.

Is it just me, or do programmers only come in “lightweight” and “Rivals Þor in trying to drink the oceans dry” varieties?

joby ,

Is it just me, or do programmers only come in “lightweight” and “Rivals Þor in trying to drink the oceans dry” varieties?

Somehow I manage to be both. My alcohol tolerance is very high (which is great… I like a little buzz but never want to be actually drunk), but for me, one toke is over the line.

Zoop ,

One toke is over the line? Sweet Jesus!

SoleInvictus ,

I’m the same way. I take like a quarter hit and I’m alright. The whole puff? Gone for hours.

bleistift2 ,

Somehow I can tell that this story didn’t go down in the US.

Transporter_Room_3 ,
@Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website avatar

Surprisingly, in the Midwest.

firelizzard ,
@firelizzard@programming.dev avatar

Two cocktails will get me tipsy, two beers if they’re strong, but I can drink an entire bottle of vodka (over the course of 2-3 hours) without blacking out. Or at least I could in college, I’m not looking to try again.

renzev , in How big is your desk?
Aceticon ,

An this was back in the 80s where there were only 8 programming languages…

Classy ,

Rocking those classic 990s

uid0gid0 , in Any Volunteers

It’s got some real scientifically based dragons vibes.

Speculater ,
@Speculater@lemmy.world avatar

DNA based mating system for an MMO battle RPG? Sign me up.

jjjalljs , in Review Please

There was a guy I worked with that tended to want to unilaterally make sweeping changes.

Like, “we need the user to be able to enter their location” -> “cool. Done. I also switched the dependency manager from pip to poetry”.

Only a little bit of exaggeration

remotelove ,
@remotelove@lemmy.ca avatar

Some people, like me, are not built to be developers. I can sculpt code in any language I need for whatever problem I need to solve, but maintaining code over a long period of time, with others, is not my thing.

The drive to do additional changes is just too high and the tendency for typos or obvious logic errors is too common. (There is one little improvement. It’s right there. One line up. Just change it now while you are in there…)

I am not stupid and regard myself as a decent engineer but my brain is just wired in a more chaotic way. For some things that is ok. For developing code on a team, not so much.

Security is the field I am most comfortable with because it allows for creative chaos. Rule breaking is encouraged. “Scripting” is much more applicable and temporary.

coloredgrayscale ,

Make those changes in an own commit, or keep it to files you already have to touch.

Klear ,

Now that’s just crazy talk.

Faresh ,

When using git and are working on a feature, and suddenly want to work on something else, you can use git stash so git remembers your changes and is able to restore them when you are done. There is also git add -p this allows you to stage only certain lines of a file, this allows you to keep commits to a single feature if you already did another change that you didn’t commit (this is kind of error prone, since you have to make sure that the commit includes exactly the things that you want it to include, so this solution should be avoided). But the easiest way is when you get the feeling that you have completed a certain task towards your goal and that you can move on to another task, to commit. But if you fail you can also change the history in git, so if you haven’t pushed yet, you can move the commits around or, if you really need to, edit past commits and break them into multiple.

howrar ,

Instructions unclear. Stash is 35 tall and I’m scared to look at what’s been fermenting at the bottom.

magic_lobster_party ,

Only 35? That’s rookie numbers.

avidamoeba ,
@avidamoeba@lemmy.ca avatar

I tell my young developers - the primary goal in software engineering is maintainability. Code reuse, encapsulation, abstraction, and myriad other concepts all contribute to ease of maintaining source code over the long term. Maintainability allows for easier, predictable feature addition and removal, with newer changes, and by different people. You’re also a different person than the one you were months or years ago when it comes to software.

jjjalljs ,

Did I already post in here about how he wrote a custom DSL instead of using the standard widely used ORM we use everywhere? Maintainability nightmare.

He doesn’t work here anymore and now I have to either figure it out or rip it out. So far it looks like “rip it out” because it took less than an hour to swap in the orm, and now there’s just a lot less code needed.

UckyBon ,

Do you have ADHD?

remotelove ,
@remotelove@lemmy.ca avatar

I do.

UckyBon ,

Thank you so much for your reply. Your comment was so recognizable to me, and I’m in the process of being diagnosed with ADHD.

remotelove ,
@remotelove@lemmy.ca avatar

No worries! I am generally very open about it. (Your comment was recognizable to me, actually. There is a geryy specific non-malicious bluntness that comes with the condition, actually.

But yeah, you have been practicing dealing with it your entire life. Treatment just helps a ton.

nutt_goblin ,

I’m the same way. Chasing code changes through the codebase then fighting with an edit rebase stack trying to explode them into less-interlocked changes.

It doesn’t always work, sometimes I am just committing a giant blob of changes at work on my project I near-solo maintain 💀

howrar ,

Very relatable. Especially when it’s less effort to make the change than it is to try and ignore it. But it’s understandably harder for those who are reviewing your work.

remotelove , (edited )
@remotelove@lemmy.ca avatar

It’s even more cyclical. I usually can’t remember the reasons why I made the change to begin with.

jelloeater85 ,
@jelloeater85@lemmy.world avatar

I mean, Poetry is a lot better then Pip. The only issue I see is that they broke some CICD stuffs farther up the chain.

jjjalljs ,

It could be!

But part of working as a professional on a team is communicating and achieving consensus. Just trying to make a change like that out of the blue is poor form.

Also consider the opportunity cost: we had planned on getting XYZ done this week, and instead he spent a few hours on this and dragged a few people into a “do we want to change to poetry right now?” conversation

jjjalljs ,

Which one of you loose cannons down voted this?

BrianTheeBiscuiteer ,

That wasn’t me, but that also used to be me. I learned to pick my battles, especially with complex code bases, and tried to keep scope creep in the name of improvement to like a dozen lines (provided it was fully tested).

jjjalljs ,

I think it’s definitely a thing most people grow out of when they gain experience.

My boss told me about how when he was new he rewrote a whole chunk of the front end. His boss gave him a talking to about how you can’t just go and do that when you’re working with a team.

At an old job I just opened a PR to apply a code formatter to an internal project I wasn’t even a routine contributor to. PR was rejected and I learned a valuable lesson about talking and getting buy-in before making sweeping changes.

ceiphas , in Uh...oh...

The bigger problem is, when the code works, but you think it shouldn’t

BanjoShepard ,

Yeah this is the scariest point in all of my projects.

kamenlady ,
@kamenlady@lemmy.world avatar

The true horror begins, when the customer calls for support, because some things are awkward, and you know instantly the cause, also that you will have to fix this now, 5 years later.

xpinchx ,

I love that realization when I throw some hacky shit together and it somehow works first try.

When I try to be organized and meticulous nothing works and I eventually give up.

firelizzard ,
@firelizzard@programming.dev avatar

That sounds like a great way to set yourself up for spectacular failures down the road

PhAzE , in Exam Answer

The answer is 6. It’s 6 characters long.

potustheplant ,

Not really, no. That would be the answer if x= len(day). The code in the image would just throw an error.

force , (edited )

no it wouldn’t, because this is OCR reference language

run this

Ephera ,

What the heck, did someone invent a programming language, so students wouldn’t have to learn any real ones?

mounderfod ,
@mounderfod@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

Having done OCR GCSE computing:
It’s just a pseudocode style language that they use in exam questions so that you can understand the question regardless of which language your school had you study (in my case it was VB6 💀). In questions where you are asked to write code, you can use the reference language but realistically you just use the one you learned (although I did it all in python instead)

56_ ,
@56_@lemmy.ml avatar

Huh interesting. In Scotland we had another one: en.wikipedia.org/…/Haggis_(programming_language)

PhAzE ,

Yea, it’s pseudo code.

flumph ,
@flumph@programming.dev avatar

“Monday”.length is working JavaScript and does equal 6. No print command afaik though.

AnAngryAlpaca ,

deleted_by_author

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  • kia ,

    You don’t need terminating semicolons in JavaScript. They’re added in if missing. It can actually cause a few bugs around returns.

    dvlsg ,
    @dvlsg@lemmy.world avatar

    There technically is!

    developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Web/API/…/print

    Well. In browsers, anyways.

    Scrollone ,

    Yes, but it prints the page, so in this case it wouldn’t print anything

    PrettyFlyForAFatGuy , (edited )
    
    <span style="color:#323232;">function print(str) {
    </span><span style="color:#323232;">  console.log(str)
    </span><span style="color:#323232;">}
    </span>
    

    FTFY

    fidodo ,

    How do you know what language this is?

    db2 , in Bartender Qualifications

    SELECT * FROM Customers WHERE glass=‘empty’;

    astraeus ,
    @astraeus@programming.dev avatar

    glass_content === 0

    kautau ,

    Invalid type assertion to “Number.” Expects one of “Customer” Traits: CUSTOMER_IS_WASTED, CUSTOMER_NEEDS_MORE_BOOZE, CUSTOMER_IS_BIG_TIPPER, CUSTOMER_IS_STARTING_A_FIGHT, CUSTOMER_IS_KEANU_REEVES

    hakunawazo ,

    …AND behavior = ‘nice’?

    For reference:
    img.ifunny.co/…/84367d463ab592ae1781d52ac110aca72…

    psud ,

    For that to work, one must pronounce SQL as an acronym, not an initialism

    Some people will be constitutionally unable to make that tune work

    datelmd5sum ,

    I would not fill my glass with string.

    theneverfox ,
    @theneverfox@pawb.social avatar

    You forgot to order by perceived_wealth and attractiveness desc

    myster0n , in Every goddamn time

    THIS ACTION IS NOT ALLOWED > OVERRIDE ACCESS GRANTED

    rtxn ,

    No, no, first you need to reroute, to be able to patch it through, and THEN you can override the command sequence in order to exploit parallelisms at the core root interface.

    MonkderZweite ,
    Anticorp ,

    IDE, Sata, NVMe HDD, with an adequate PSU for the GPU. Stat!

    moody ,
    Ashyr , in “It’s not that hard”

    Musk’s greatest innovative genius is finding new ways to be annoying.

    tetris11 , in The classic font size exploit
    @tetris11@lemmy.ml avatar

    It very well might be a real exploit. Lemmy was briefly taken down by an XS attack using the emoji library… so who knows, maybe a 3000% smiley face is all that is needed

    Fogle ,

    I think there a lot of phone scammers that use font size to hide all the shit they’re doing. Like they make shit so small so that the old people can’t see anything

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