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programmer_humor

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Winged_Hussar , in I'll just be a quick 3h
@Winged_Hussar@lemmy.world avatar

And the data they want is the entire FY, is 3,000,000 records and they need every single data attribute making the file like 250 MBs. Then you put it in their SharePoint and they get mad they can’t just view it in the browser despite the giant “This file is too large to view online, download it” message.

db2 ,

“Just email it to me!”

perviouslyiner ,

Newspaper: Hackers are announcing a trove of personal data leaked from [company] after a forwarded spreadsheet inadvertently contained more data than the sender realised.

ILikeBoobies , in Bill is a pro grammer

Bill is not replaceable

Static_Rocket ,
@Static_Rocket@lemmy.world avatar

I strive to replace bill. I only work on undocumented code from 3rd parties.

Sweetpeaches69 ,

I salute you.

thtroyer ,

Bill is a liability.

javi ,

hello

docAvid ,

But an irreplaceable liability.

docAvid ,

But an irreplaceable liability.

Fermiverse , in There once was a programmer

…who wrote code without stack overflow

spudwart ,

…who wrote in-line assembly.

metaStatic ,

6502 or 68000?

Fermiverse ,

I know and wrote for both of them.

Jeez I am old.

wizardbeard ,

I’ve got no issues with people using stackoverflow or chatGPT as a reference. The problem has always been when anyone just skims what they found and just paste it in without understanding it. Without looking at the rest of the comments, further discussion, or looking at any other search results for further insight and context.

I think chatGPT makes this sort of “carelessness” (as opposed to carefulness) even easier to do, as it appears to be responding with an answer to your exact question and not just something the search algorithm thinks is related.

Maultasche , in Spooktober meme time!

The real scary part is how many of them are using Java 8 and older.

DudeDudenson ,

I work for one of the unicorns of my country. 3/4 of the apps I maintain only work on java 8.

Legacy code op

spudwart ,

“Legacy code” Aka the fear of getting sued by Oracle for literal nonsense.

DudeDudenson ,

More like “We don’t know what it does or why it’s there but it seems important so don’t touch it”

intelati , in User with this age already exists
21Cabbage ,

Well I just got a great idea for next time I need to change a password.

Johanno , in Every Single Freaking Time

Use ctrl +shift +c to copy in terminal

Lmaydev ,

Just have to be different don’t they.

kaba0 ,

Or change copy to command+c… I’m gonna be honest, OSX is right here. And quite strangely it is very hard to customize your linux to imitate that.

kaba0 ,

Or change copy to command+c… I’m gonna be honest, OSX is right here. And quite strangely it is very hard to customize your linux to imitate that.

errer ,

Use ctrl +shift +c to copy in terminal

Ah yes the classic dangerous command made safe by a modifier key. Put the gun to your head and pull the trigger, just make sure you’re holding down the shift key and it’s all good!

Jakeroxs ,

It’s all good bro the shafty is on

Mr_Dr_Oink ,

This is how my secure crt is set up when im accessing switches. If i use ctrl+c it cancels what im doing and drops back to priv mode and its so frustrating.

TheWoozy ,

Or just left click to highlight & middle click to paste.

Albbi ,

Ctrl+insert to copy and shift+insert also works! It was the DOS way of doing it.

SuperIce ,

Or just highlight the text and use middle click to paste

ephemerality , in Good Old Windows

I wrote some open source software and looked into how to make that not happen. It’s not easy on Microsoft, and on Apple it costs more than a $100/year!

Beanie ,

you have to pay to have your stuff put on the app store??

ephemerality ,

Yes, on both platforms.

Mic_Check_One_Two ,

Not only that; You have to pay for updates too. Supposedly it’s because Apple takes time to verify that the app is legit and not going to do nefarious things. So they don’t want a bad actor to get a legit app on the store, then later push an update that infects everyone with a virus.

But apparently a company did a study and realized that app testing rarely made it past the main page, with testers spending ~15-20 seconds per app. They’d basically open it and if it looked like it did what it said, they didn’t bother digging any deeper.

Whirlybird ,

You have to pay for a license to be able to publish apps to the store, yes. This isn’t a bad thing, mainly just for the fact that it stops a lot of trash from being put on there.

SpaceNoodle ,

Why do you think they set those up? To not make money?

nomadjoanne ,

Yes. It’s actually rather tragic I strive to run my business NOT using big tech. But we need an app for our users. On Apple this means you simply MUST pay apple. 100/year is not a lot. I just don’t want to give them my business.

ryannathans ,

Yeah we are an open source org and simply don’t sign the executables because of this bullshit

buddascrayon , in No common rube

As someone who’s an IT person I can tell you the vibe is actually, “Well shit, I guess I’m going to actually have to diagnose something.”

littlecolt , (edited )

As an IT person, I assure you, I do not believe that you actually restarted it.

positiveWHAT ,

I do believe you restarted the PC, but the program that has frozen is on the cloud, so we’ll have to restart the cloud.

PieMePlenty ,

Yup. User probably put the pc to sleep and woke it up.

TheFogan ,

Or turned off the monitor and turned it back on.

Pazuzu ,

Or they shutdown and turn it back on, which doesn’t count in windows as restarting unless you disable fast-startup. So you get annoyed tech support thinking the user is a liar and an annoyed end user that knows they turned it off and on again.

thermal_shock ,

I usually just explain why we have to do a restart again, which is what you described cause I run into that a lot

nucleative ,

The amount of time I reset it myself and the problem went away is too damn high.

Usually the end user kinda smirks and says huh, weird, I tried that! You must be magic!

Ironfacebuster ,

With a lot of solar equipment, the tech support has access to a lot of settings us installers don’t, so we’ve had times where we tell the tech that we’ve done everything we can, including restarting it (and with my experience with Generac inverters, restarting them can and will break something!), and sometimes it really feels like they do click a magic button, say “how about now?”, then it works

MrShankles ,

As someone who has been asked to restart the computer, even though I already did that before calling IT support… I internally sigh, but begrudgingly do it again just to appease their process. Because I assume plenty of people don’t do it and make y’alls life a tiny bit harder, when a restart would’ve fixed it

Also, how many are solved by making sure the power cable is not just plugged into the wall, but seated into the back of the computer as well?

thermal_shock ,

well shutdown isn’t a full restart anymore, it literally saves your issues and reloads it when it turns on. so we have to doublecheck that too. it should count as restart, but doesn’t.

MrShankles ,

Honestly, I would try the restart first (cause it was easier/more automated), and then a full shutdown and power-up. It’s been many years since I called any IT support though, but that was mu process. Cause I hated having to call for help lol

thermal_shock ,

but a shutdown is NOT a restart anymore and doesn’t quit and restart processes

youtu.be/OBGxt8zhbRk?si=BE17RFGEzen5WM8n

MrShankles ,

I hear ya, and appreciate the info because I didn’t know that. I was saying that I would do both before calling, and then again when they asked me

But this was back in like 2004-ish, so I’m not sure what was best practice back then. I would just try it all before calling lol… going so far as to shut down and unplug for a few seconds or more

Localhorst86 ,

As someone working as on-site IT support for over 15 years, I can’t tell you how often I have asked people to restart their computer over the phone and they swore they did (“multiple times even”), only for me to eventually come around to their desk and having them actually reboot the device in my presence and for the problem to actually fix itself.

One Lady I asked to restart their computer said “all right, hold on.” only to respond not even 10 seconds (!) later "I did, its still not working„ and after the third time I went to her desk and asked her to show me what she did. She leaned forward, turned off the monitor, then turned it back on. “I did this 10 times already, and its still not working”.

Some people just lie about rebooting, some simply don’t actually know how to reboot properly. After a few months, you get to know who’s lying, who’s doesn’t know better and who’s actually telling you the truth, you get to know your coworkers.

MrShankles ,

She leaned forward, turned off the monitor, then turned it back on. “I did this 10 times already, and its still not working”.

And this is why I couldn’t work in IT support; I just don’t have the patience for certain things. I always love teaching people new things, but most people don’t care when it comes to computers; they just want it to work effortlessly even when they’re the one screwing it up.

And especially working on-site! Oh my life, I bet there’s that same few people… just constantly failing to even try lmao

Sylvartas ,

I swear I could hear the call center employee (probably not really an IT guy at this stage) sweating when I called them after a thunderstorm fried my router’s entry port and I read them the list of troubleshooting I already went through before calling them.

sc2pirate , in No common rube

Show me how you reboot the PC.

*User turns off monitor

SLVRDRGN ,

Honestly most unsavvy people don’t even realize they can turn their monitors off. Especially if the buttons are behind or under the screen, they wouldn’t even know the buttons were there.

Zink ,

I just had to search to find my work monitors’ controls yesterday! All the way on the back.

I get credit for knowing they were turnoffable though.

Ziglin ,

There’s some older ones where there are actual buttons on the bottom of the screen. Beats me how the people who press them to turn it off manage to press the power button for the PC to turn it on.

Dicska ,

I remember some old movie that was on TV ~30 years ago. A terrorist group broke into some computer room to destroy the data. They shot the monitors to smithereens and ran away.

(AFAIR they weren’t Macs)

LANIK2000 ,

Considering our IT department replaces computers without moving over our files (like come on, just swap the drives!), I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if that’s how they’d treat it.

manicdave , in TCP vs UDP

I know a joke about UDP.

I know a joke about TCP too.

Did you get it?

Sonotsugipaa ,
@Sonotsugipaa@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

I didn’t get the first half, could you send it again?

camr_on ,
@camr_on@lemmy.world avatar

ACK

neidu2 ,

I only tell jokes about UDP. I don’t care if you get it.

xmunk , in STOP DOING DEPENDENCY INJECTION

We’re struggling to deal with climate change and these selfish developers can think of nothing except building more factories. This is a global issue, we need a global solution: eschew factories and services for defining everything globally.

pixxelkick , (edited ) in Has this ever happened to you?

Nowadays it’s less of an issue with docker and whatnot.

Just set the image to refresh every night at midnight and if they tried to make manual changes it’ll just revert back to its original state at midnight.

Customers don’t really get direct access to deployed cpde now, it’s buried under like 4 layers of abstraction on most CDNs now.

Simply deploying to azure already smears multiple layers of access control and RBAC overtop that it’s hard enough for me, the dev, to answer the question if “what is actually deployed atm?”, let alone for the customer to get in their and meddle.

princess , in Wait... it's all backdoors ? Always has been bro...

at least all those state actors will have to fight it out to control my system

and i have an excuse for poor application performance

slazer2au ,

It’s not my fault it takes ages to compile. It’s the government non mandated backdoors binaries causing it to take 3 hours instead of 2:59:59.5

marcos ,

What’s the real mind-blower: if some guy’s computer was slow, the entire world would get a backdoor.

sik0fewl ,

Can’t we dynamically link them?

armchair_progamer ,
sukhmel , in Functional bros be like
SlopppyEngineer , in Good luck speed cameras
PatFussy ,

God that’s such a good idea. Would it work the same if I did #N/A?

InEnduringGrowStrong ,
@InEnduringGrowStrong@sh.itjust.works avatar

Only if your DMV does everything in Excel, so… maybe?

14th_cylon ,

according to Tartaro, he says he received a notice that the California DMV would not let him renew his registration unless he actually paid some of those fines.

that sounds so illegal. but i am not an american, so what do i know.

Patches , (edited )

deleted_by_author

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  • ThoranTW ,

    Did you read the article? All those fines were from other people, erroneously applied to him when the police officer didn’t fill in the information on the citation.

    Patches , (edited )

    deleted_by_author

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  • DrDeadCrash ,

    So then he’s innocent, case closed.

    InEnduringGrowStrong ,
    @InEnduringGrowStrong@sh.itjust.works avatar

    I doubt the guy had several different car makes on hand to commit some sort of nationwide parking violation spree with the same plate but different cars in places where it’s impossible to even drive between the two places in the time between both timestamps.

    KairuByte ,
    @KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

    “There’s no way to know if he used the plate on dozens of vehicles in dozens of states, some at the same time.”

    hemko ,

    The standard is to assume innocence, not assume guilt

    ShepherdPie ,

    “There’s no way to prove him guilty so he should have to pay!”

    bdonvr ,

    Huh? They’re not his fines. The software is just shit so it puts all fines with no license plate as matching his.

    Anticorp ,

    California will do a lot more than deny a renewal over unpaid fines. First they’ll double the fine the first day that you are late, and then they’ll add more fees every day until it is paid. Eventually, I think it’s after six months or a year, they’ll suspend your driver’s license, and after that they’ll issue a bench warrant for your arrest. So it’s entirely possible for your whole life to be ruined over a traffic ticket in California, culminating with you being thrown into prison.

    14th_cylon ,

    ok, but while that is wild in itself, i assume that is under the assumption of them actually being your tickets. here we talk about situation where they demand the hero pays someone else’s tickets just because of the fault of their system.

    Anticorp ,

    That aligns perfectly from what I’ve seen from the California DMV. They do not give a fuck. They will do whatever their stupid little antiquated computer program tells them to do.

    JackGreenEarth ,

    Paywalled

    a_wild_mimic_appears ,
    Trollception ,

    How the heck does a system interpret a string value null as a literal null? That seems insane to me that there really is software out there written like this. “null” != null… Or so I thought, maybe there are languages out there that this can happen in easily? Or someone is storing the string value of null in a non nullable database column?

    Wirlocke ,

    May I introduce you to our lord and savior JavaScript?

    https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/pictrs/image/fd33ba38-baa4-4915-b446-518c76bca200.jpeg

    Leate_Wonceslace ,
    @Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

    Javas Christ.

    Trollception ,

    But even in JavaScript a string representation of null is not equal to a null literal. ‘null’ or “null” are not the same as null

    Syrc ,

    “He had it coming,” says Christopher Null, a journalist who has written previously for WIRED about the challenges his last name presents.

    This is peak nottheonion material

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