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Man changes name to Literally Anybody Else and announces US presidential run

cross-posted from: feddit.uk/post/9649718

A Texas man has legally changed his name to Literally Anybody Else and announced he is running for US president in the 2024 election.

Formerly known as Dustin Ebey, the 35-year-old is a US army veteran and seventh-grade math teacher in the suburbs of Dallas, and now has a Texas driver’s license to prove his name change.

He said he wanted to change his name because he was unsatisfied with this year’s presidential candidates, Joe Biden and Donald Trump.

“Three hundred million people can do better,” he said in reference to the two frontrunners for the nation’s highest office. “There really should be some outlet for people like me who are just so fed up with this constant power grab between the two parties that just has no benefit to the common person.

bfg9k ,

Vote 1 Nobody

Nobody knows how to properly run the country.

Nobody is trustworthy and honest.

Nobody will work to fix issues in your local area.

Nobody cares.

69420 ,

I voted for him last time. 🤷

kaputt ,

Nobody noticed that.

samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

Biden is a hell of a lot better than a large number of people would be. Not so much Trump, though.

EatATaco ,

This is dangerously unclear because it could mean you think trump isn’t better than a large number of people, or Biden is better than a large number of people, but not better than trump. Lol

samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

I thought it was clear, but to be clearer, there are very few people who would be worse than Trump. Putin, maybe.

bartolomeo ,
@bartolomeo@suppo.fi avatar

Vermin Supreme is also (still) in the race.

AnUnusualRelic ,
@AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world avatar

The Wikipedia page for others like me who wouldn’t watch a video.

tacosplease ,

You should watch the video. Vermin Supreme appearances are a fun watch.

testeronious ,

what if we used 100% of our brains?

CosmicCleric ,
@CosmicCleric@lemmy.world avatar

what if we used 100% of our brains?

We would ascend to a higher state of being, and wouldn’t have to worry about voting.

Either that, or we would be able to levitate a voting booth with our mind.

cheesymoonshadow ,
@cheesymoonshadow@lemmings.world avatar

https://lemmings.world/pictrs/image/342783d7-a3d4-470c-9bdc-1e2cdfa0d553.png

I wonder if we’ll ever get out from under the boot of the two-party system. Yang’s Forward Party is trying and they’re supposedly making progress, but man I just feel so tired and jaded at this point.

DragonTypeWyvern ,

Lmao sure it is

cheesymoonshadow ,
@cheesymoonshadow@lemmings.world avatar

Why downvote? That’s exactly what I’m saying. I get news updates saying this person and that person have been elected at the local level, and the work is slow but supposedly they’re chipping away at the problem. I want to be hopeful but find myself wondering if it’s just propaganda.

EatATaco ,

You can’t get out of a 2 party system with having a fptp voting system. If you want change, it’s going to have to come from the bottom up. Work local politics to change the voting system. Only then do we have a hole of dismantling the two parties.

cheesymoonshadow ,
@cheesymoonshadow@lemmings.world avatar

That’s exactly what the Forward Party is doing, as I understand it. Local level, working their way up. And like I said to the other person, I want to be hopeful because I get updates about local candidates running and winning local elections, but it’s hard to know what’s truth and what’s propaganda.

Also from what I understand, what they were trying to implement is ranked choice voting, though it’s been years since I delved into it and don’t actually know if they’re still trying to do that.

maniacalmanicmania ,
@maniacalmanicmania@aussie.zone avatar

Vote Ficus.

3volver ,

If he actually wanted to change anything he’d be rallying against 2 senators per state. Instead he did some stupid bullshit that won’t change anyone’s mind at all.

restingboredface ,

It won’t do anything, but it’s funny.

However I do agree that there are way bigger fish to fry in govt right now. My personal beef is about the lack of term limits in congress. Those idiots should not be allowed to work 20+ years in an elected office simply because they are the familiar name.

CosmicCleric ,
@CosmicCleric@lemmy.world avatar

Personally I’d work on ranked-choice voting before term limits.

ShaggySnacks ,

Term limits need to be balanced. Make it too short and legislators don’t develop the expertise needed to do their job. If legislators don’t know how to do their job, well-paid and well-connected lobbyists will gladly help legislators.

Set the term length too long and you get entrenched legislators who’ve been in the job well past their expiration date.

Zier ,
@Zier@fedia.io avatar

Changing your name to something stupid is a clear indication that you are unqualified to be the president of the recycling committee in your neighborhood, let alone a superpower nation.

Humanius ,
@Humanius@lemmy.world avatar

It’s a form of protest. He’s clearly not actually aiming to get elected.

RealFknNito ,
@RealFknNito@lemmy.world avatar

These protests are getting sillier as time goes on. I’m waiting for one with a rubber duck. No specific application of the duck in mind, just has to be included.

Chr0nos1 ,

Here ya go! theguardian.com/…/giant-rubber-ducks-become-symbo…

RealFknNito ,
@RealFknNito@lemmy.world avatar

The prophecy has been fulfilled and so have I.

Thank you.

DragonTypeWyvern ,

That’s what you think, but this is actually a play to be officially remembered in the Library of Congress, like all candidates who receive a certain number of votes.

FiniteBanjo ,

Bro should have been collecting signatures months ago, good luck getting on the ballot.

corsicanguppy ,

Literall–

DOWNVOTE.

nonailsleft ,

Imagine having to explain this to everyone you meet 10 years from now

jaybone ,

I imagine you still introduce yourself with your regular name.

Though anything involving your ID probably results in a joke that gets old for you but is new and interesting to whoever you are talking with.

Astrealix ,
@Astrealix@lemmy.world avatar

Write-in campaign huh. Wonder if some people will accidentally vote for him and whether that would count

viking ,
@viking@infosec.pub avatar

That’s probably the idea, and yes, any valid vote counts.

LeroyJenkins , (edited )

literally not how it works. most places require voter intent. meaning only votes people meant to cast count. if a voting official notices that a person named Literally Anybody Else won by a write in, they’d go through all the ballots and make sure the ballots literally say Literally Anybody Else written out validly like a name. those in who they aren’t sure of would require another election official to track down the voter and ask for their intent.

source: worked in the ballot counting process of a country. they literally have teams trying to decide shit like if you filled all bubble on scantrons, but circled one of the bubbles, does that count as intent? does it count as intent if they circle all the bubbles but not fill any of the scantrons bubbles? and yes, they count the votes even if they don’t follow scantron directions but clearly demonstrate intent. i.e drawing arrows with a thing saying “this one!” next to all the bubbles you want may count as intent.

Viking_Hippie ,

most places require voter intent. meaning only votes people meant to cast count

Someone wasn’t paying attention in 2000…

The Republicans have been trying to trick people into unintentionally voting for Republicans or nobody for several decades now…

LeroyJenkins ,

most places have intent laws and it’s usually up to the county officials and secretary of states to enforce those laws. doesn’t mean it gets enforced fully or that parties won’t try their best to play things to their advantage on ballots by playing with rules or even ballot designs. however, I think any election official, politics aside, will investigate a person named Literally Anybody Else being elected by write in.

KittenBiscuits ,

I’m sorry, I’m hung up on you saying election officials would track down the voter to confirm their intent. And you mentioned you volunteered or worked in elections possibly in not-the-US. In the US (or at least in my state) ballots are anonymous. That was why such a fuss was made in 2000 over trying to determine what the voter intended if a ballot had a “hanging chad”. They couldn’t just track down the person to confirm, and the margins were close enough to call a recount but not for a do-over. It was election purgatory.

LeroyJenkins , (edited )

no, I worked in the US. they are only anonymous in the scanning and tally process. your counted vote cannot be tracked to you. many places, once the election worker opens your ballot and take the contents out, your vote is secured. others will make sure your ballot is valid and intent is made. there’s also a difference between tracking someone down because clear intent (i.e. not signing their ballot) vs completely fucking up and we just don’t count it. most cases we just don’t count it because there is no clear intent at all. laws and voting systems have also changed that made paper trails a bit more clear over the years because of that election.

edit: also, they generally don’t track anybody down unless there’s something like a recount or things are very close in the election where several votes make the difference. if we’re gonna be completely honest. write ins aren’t even counted /read at all unless there’s a close election where it can possibly make a difference mathematically. most just have a section “Write in” in their system but not what people wrote in.

jorp ,

This is why everyone leaves personally identifying information on the ballot and when you vote they take your vote, look over it, and put it in a box assigned to your name.

It takes a few days for all votes to appear on the public vote registry where everyone can see who you voted for, and sometimes the president will call you to thank you for your vote.

Source: I am the president

LeroyJenkins ,

your votes are anonymous but your ballot packet is not. if you drop your ballot packet on the floor on the way to the ballot box, it can be traced to you simply by going to the voter registry where your ballot was issued or any other identifying info on the ballot envelope. however, once contents are opened and the ballot is separated from the packet, it is anonymous and your casted vote is anonymous and can’t be traced to you. but election workers can open it and put it aside if they open it and a bunch of confetti falls out or noticed that it’s not signed or whatever.

bartolomeo ,
@bartolomeo@suppo.fi avatar

XD

quindraco ,

track down the voter

Any election where this is even possible is a waste of everyone’s time. I don’t know what country you worked in, but wherever you were, those were corrupt wastes of time, not elections.

LeroyJenkins ,

like I said in other posts, your casted vote is anonymous but not your ballot packet. when you cast a vote into the system, it can’t be traced to you. so nobody can say I want a list of all the people who voted for Biden. but if you drop your ballot packet outside the polling location, polling officials can look you up on the voter poll registration book and identify that packet belongs to you. most places only anonymize your data when they separate the ballot from the envelope it’s enclosed in. usually before that, there is an id matched to your ballot packet to your voter registration. some counties vet ballots prior to separating ballots from packets. this is mostly done for checking intent and that there aren’t weird shit in there (a lot of people stuff gifts and stuff into their envelopes) before being sent off for tallying.

Semi_Hemi_Demigod ,
@Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world avatar

If you’re going to do goofy stuff with your ballot you should know what the laws are so your funny joke nobody sees doesn’t spoil your ballot entirely and make none of your votes count.

DragonTypeWyvern ,

Jokes on you, I live in Tennessee and the Democrats gave up on my formerly purple county

subignition ,
@subignition@kbin.social avatar

20% chance this man goes viral and actually gets elected

KoboldCoterie ,
@KoboldCoterie@pawb.social avatar

35-year-old is a US army veteran and seventh-grade math teacher

Sounds like he’d be better than Trump by a mile.

sincle354 ,

Shit, I don't know jack shit about this person but I'd lock in this third candidate if it was ranked choice between the three. Seriously, I believe in humanity enough that Guy, Random is my presidential character select choice.

variants ,

I don’t know, I’m still leaning for Literally Anybody Else but Random Guy has some good points

Neato ,
@Neato@ttrpg.network avatar

Dude could die and be better than Trump.

KingJalopy ,

So could Trump

thefartographer ,

Holy shit. Call the burn ward

umbrella ,
@umbrella@lemmy.ml avatar

going by just this and the fact he isnt backed by billionaire donors, and isnt doing a genocide? this dude is better than both alternatives you have.

Sotuanduso ,

Let’s bump those numbers up.

radix ,
@radix@lemmy.world avatar

Following in the footsteps of Absolutely Nobody.

Viking_Hippie ,

He received almost seven percent of the vote for Lieutenant Governor of Washington in 1992

Nice! 😄

200ok ,

Peter principle: final boss edition

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