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ianhclark510 ,
@ianhclark510@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

JD Vance is too much of a coward to release the couch sex tape

dogsnest ,
@dogsnest@lemmy.world avatar

It’s on Hunter’s laptop.

thefartographer ,

Two males? Are they buttery?

Viking_Hippie ,

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/77d39530-28de-4966-9deb-de53f0fa23f4.jpeg

Nobody ,

Why are they not releasing the couch sex tape? What are they hiding? Was there a loveseat involved?

disguy_ovahea ,

It was a…convertible sofa.😱

Track_Shovel ,

Hide-a-bred

flicker ,

This got a visceral negative reaction out of me. Well done.

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Are you saying the couch… was transsectional?

ThePantser ,
@ThePantser@lemmy.world avatar

Because the couch was underage.https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/65b159ed-955b-4db9-ae57-32c3e7209620.jpeg

Deceptichum ,
@Deceptichum@quokk.au avatar

Gaetz was inquiring last I heard

MermaidsGarden ,
@MermaidsGarden@lemmy.world avatar

I’ve had it up to here with people saying JD Vance had sex with a couch. How many times do I have to say there’s no evidence JD Vance had sex with a couch before people stop saying JD Vance had sex with a couch? Liberals must be pretty desperate to make up that JD Vance had sex with a couch. The story that on March 17, 2011 JD Vance was banned from a Cleveland area IKEA after so thoroughly deflowering a KIVIK Sofa Chaise that it had to be removed as a biohazard due to the various fluids in and around it, causing the night manager to not only quit but need intensive therapy is beyond the pale. Who would believe this? There is sworn. court. testimony. that JD Vance has not made bare skin contact with a couch within the past 5 years. That’s a fact. Look it up. The idea that this is because JD Vance cannot contain his overwhelming sexual urges in the presence of soft furniture is reckless conjecture. Calling JD Vance a couchfucker is slander and you need to take it back.

The Left™ will do anything to avoid talking about the real issues in this campaign, like the fact that Kamala Harris laughs sometimes.

iamjackflack ,

It’s funny you say that. However it’s a Fox News person that’s asking for this.

cogman ,

Harris also has the skull shape of a Marxist! And the fact that she’s a girl will make all the other manly nations call us Sissies!

frickineh ,

Finally, a use case for AI that I can really get behind!

Kidding, please god no one deepfake that weirdo going to town on a totally innocent sofa. Fuckin nightmare fuel.

ThePantser ,
@ThePantser@lemmy.world avatar

Rule 34, it’s already a thing.

pearsaltchocolatebar ,

Or rule 35

schnurrito ,

You know, until recently I thought that the golden days of Internet activism were over and we were mostly living in times where it was ridiculously easy to get things censored on the Internet.

Then something as stupid as this gets this amount of attention because of Internet users having way too much time and energy to spread it. WTF

androogee ,

Oh fuck yeah spread it

schnurrito ,

Are there no actually serious issues in the world that it is worth spreading information about? I think there are.

cheddar ,
@cheddar@programming.dev avatar

There is no problem with the lack of information though. It’s the opposite, the internet is oversaturated.

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

More serious issues than a fascist trying to take over one of the world’s most powerful nations? Not really. If saying his VP candidate fucks couches is bothering them this much, please keep spreading that information.

androogee ,

Shit I forgot that we’re only allowed to talk about one thing at a time, and if someone makes a joke then all the other information dies.

ours ,

Spread it like JD Vance’s couch cushions.

cheddar ,
@cheddar@programming.dev avatar

I think that only proves your thoughts. This thing blew up uncontrollably. Now try repeating this with some truly important point.

jordanlund ,
@jordanlund@lemmy.world avatar

The AP was correct to pull the article. Nobody can definitively say “J.D. Vance did not have sex with a couch” just that “J.D. Vance did not write about having sex with a couch in his memoir, ‘Hillbilly Elegy’.”

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

We don’t even know he didn’t write about it. All we can definitively say is that the story about J.D. Vance fucking a couch did not appear in the published edition of Hillbilly Elegy.

Did he fuck a couch? Did he write about fucking a couch? Only Vance can tell us for sure and he’s probably too busy fucking a couch.

ChihuahuaOfDoom ,

For research guys, it’s for research.

sarcasticsunrise ,
@sarcasticsunrise@lemmy.world avatar

No wonder JD wants to make porn illegal. I’m almost with him if it means me not getting Rickrolled with a gif of him fucking a loveseat

jeffw OP ,
@jeffw@lemmy.world avatar

“It’s not a loveseat, okay?! It’s a couch! I don’t fuck loveseats!” - Vance, probably?

sarcasticsunrise ,
@sarcasticsunrise@lemmy.world avatar

“It’s called making love when it’s a loveseat! It’s in the name!!! Also, ban porn NOW!”

– From The book “Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir Of a Family and Culture in Crisis” by author JD Vance

Coach ,

Purely for “research,” right Fox?

Viking_Hippie ,

What is it with conservative hosts demanding porn?

First there was Rush Limbaugh pretending not to know what birth control is and now this.

Probably plenty of other examples in the meantime, but that’s the especially heinous one that immediately came to mind.

Gradually_Adjusting ,
@Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world avatar

They want to see the couch’s outfit for themselves, of course. Perhaps it was asking for it.

MediaBiasFactChecker Bot ,

LGBTQ Nation Media Bias Fact Check Credibility: [Medium] (Click to view Full Report)### LGBTQ Nation is rated with Medium Creditability by Media Bias Fact Check. > Bias: Left
> Factual Reporting: Mostly Factual
> Country: United States of America
> Full Report: mediabiasfactcheck.com/lgbtq-nation/
Check the bias and credibility of this article on Ground.News

Thanks to Media Bias Fact Check for their access to the API.
Please consider supporting them by donating.

Footer> Media Bias Fact Check is a fact-checking website that rates the bias and credibility of news sources. They are known for their comprehensive and detailed reports. Beep boop. This action was performed automatically. If you dont like me then please block me.💔
If you have any questions or comments about me, you can make a post to LW Support lemmy community.

Warl0k3 ,

I like the idea of this bot but could you make the text a bit smaller? It’s pretty obnoxious ATM.

Lemminary ,

This is what I see:

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/38c55975-9832-45c7-b56b-7fce19cf62dc.png

Maybe the summary tags aren’t working on your app? But I guess the “Thanks to…” section could be moved to the footer, too.

tyler ,

Mlem shows the full thing with giant header text. https://programming.dev/pictrs/image/8f13b167-5af9-4236-9ab1-875577b7de71.png

GregorGizeh ,

Does mlem show other formatting like strikethrough or ^superscript^ ?

catloaf ,

Most app clients don’t fully support formatting yet. I’m on Boost and neither spoilers nor superscript work.

I don’t know the numbers on each app vs web clients, but I suspect apps are a significant portion. Ignoring their limitations is ignoring a good portion of your users.

e1219 , (edited )

It is particularly obnoxious on Sync for Lemmy…

https://lemm.ee/api/v3/image_proxy?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FHlKeE0u.jpeg

edit:fixing image link

paraphrand ,

It looks pretty well considered in Voyager.

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/085b576e-c0a6-499f-97a5-dfeaa942cbc3.jpeg

cheddar ,
@cheddar@programming.dev avatar

It seems to be you should contact the app’s developer since the problem is with the app.

Etterra ,

That sure is a weird-ass thing to ask for.

Schmuppes ,

Those people are weird.

dohpaz42 ,
@dohpaz42@lemmy.world avatar

Hi!👋 me again, don’t forget to:

Print photos of different couches or dolphins and mail them to any or all of these locations:

www.vance.senate.gov/office-locations/

Don’t forget to add little love notes. e.g., “Thinking of you 💋”

And, remember kids, drink your Ovaltine!

Cadeillac ,
@Cadeillac@lemmy.world avatar

Hey, I like you. Keep up the good work!

itsgroundhogdayagain ,

“JD Vance’s couch tape” to the tune of “Hunter Biden’s laptop”

Hobbes_Dent ,

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/feb4cd32-2630-48d0-83d3-39ca7ec57e47.jpeg

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/133fa15a-80c9-4aec-8887-45a81e3c954a.jpeg

Brkdncr ,

Finally we’ve found a use for AI.

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