Lol that is so spot-on I can’t believe the parallels never occurred to me. One exception though, I really had good burgers in such a place in Haarlem / NL.
run by four interchangeable lumbersexual white guys in their mid 20s who are having the time of their lives and one white chick in her late 20s who is just so over it.
There’s a bar here with that aesthetic. They do serve ok burgers at slightly reasonable prices, but the secret is to become friends with the cooks. Then tell them that you don’t care what the upcharge is, but you want them to make you the burger they’d want and to have fun with it.
Now I can go in and say “Tell them TexasDrunk wants whatever burger they want to send out” and 9 out of 10 times I get a burger that’s delicious (and sometimes insane). Usually they just charge me the regular burger price.
I don’t do it often, but I got good friends and good burgers out of it.
Hell yeah! When I worked as a server, I would ask the cooks to make me a burger of the day for my lunch break. There was no “burger of the day” they just went wild and often times they required multiple “load bearing straws”.
People who go into cooking generally enjoy getting to be creative. I love those insane creations that require load bearing anything (although I don’t think I’ve seen straws, usually it’s toothpicks, skewers, or pickle spears).
My absolute favorite wasn’t the tastiest but it was definitely the coolest. The guy made a pretty standard bacon jalapeno burger, added some house made barbecue sauce, cut it into pieces, skewered it, and served it as the garnish for a pitcher of micheladas.
Note: A michelada is kind of what you’d get if a bloody Mary went to Mexico on vacation and added beer and spices.
It’s so strange, around here there’s no real difference between a bloody Mary and a bloody Caesar. I know what the difference really is but no one seems to give a shit at brunch.
However, folks around here are super proud of their micheladas. Everyone does the clamato juice with vodka, beer, and Tajin. But they all try to outdo each other with the other spices and presentation.
Other than my friend’s pitcher that I loved, the place that does the best micheladas in my opinion is Captain Tom’s. It’s the most mediocre seafood joint that is amazing when you’re getting over being fucked up. If I hadn’t been to Taqueria Ruby tonight to fix myself I’d definitely be there tomorrow morning trying to feel normal.
I went to a place like this once. Had a bison burger (?) and it was avtually fucking delicious. The fries were just “fries” but they weren’t bad in any way. Above average in flavor and consistency.
I’m guessing most places like this are garbage and the one time I went, I got lucky.
I hate $20 prices for burgers as much as the next warm blooded American but they are usually great. It’s a burger after all. That said it’s all about that bun!
I live in northern VA and all the burger and bbq joints look like this, mostly.
Who are you who are so wise in the ways of culinary science…?
Everything else is just a really good sear and not overdoing the toppings too much. Don’t even need fancy beef, just 80/20 chuck can deliver top notch results.
Most of them are mediocre. Most burger places were mediocre, and then the American gastropub trend saw burgers being made nice as opposed to diner food or bar food. They could also charge more money because they were making nicer food.
Eventually a bunch of the mediocre places shifted to try to also be nice, but mostly just increased prices, changed decor, and started using the word aioli more than mayo. Oh, and pretzel buns on burgers that got taller without being bigger and are cumbersome to eat.
In the plus side, if you like a Swiss burger with a garlic aioli, a burger with a fried egg on it, or a burger with 2 pieces of bacon, a spicy BBQ sauce, and fried onion strings and you’re in the mood for some fries with bits of peel on them and a garlic Parmesan butter, then you know exactly what they’re going to put in from of you and exactly what it’ll taste like.
Mediocre. Not bad, but definitely not the best you’ve ever had.
So the city I live in has a few of these and they’re some of the best burgers in town, for fairly reasonable prices.
There’s a fucking war on here for the best burger and I’m so happy for it. We don’t fuck around with burgers.
They’re so good and reasonably priced that the first time I saw this meme I was a little confused. Like yeah the aesthetic is kinda lame but that doesn’t change the food. Maybe the stools aren’t comfortable but like, there are regular tables. Like what’s the problem??
Then I went to another city.
My friends, I am so, so, sorry. You don’t deserve this. Good burgers aren’t hard, they’re really not. Just stay home, invest in a griddle. Even if it’s just a small one for your stove top, you can make better burgers at home. Make friends with a local butcher, he won’t steer you wrong. I don’t know what caused that trend but I know the only way to stop it is to stop going.
My city has both, and they’re decorated the same. I just wonder whether a really good burger place did this first and then crappy ones showed up to copy the decor and forgot to make the food good.
Broke: We can offer you our truffle fucked nothingburger with garlic ass for $20 dollars with every single fry costing a dollar extra
Bespoke: falafel shawarma $3, yoghurt or hummus, boss?
And the opposite of this, if the menu is plain text and pictures of food that were taken with a digital camera from 2009 then its going to be fantastic
Because these places are passionate about food. The fancy ones are passionate about money and profit. I see it all over California, it’s absolutely true.
Best burger I ever had was in this weird, kinda yellowing, almost dirty place in New York. They didn’t have tables as much as seats with like a board that came across, like one of those school desks you see in movies.
If I’m ever in New York again I’m going to try and find it, though I’m fucked if I can remember where it was or what it was called.
I’ve tried a lot of these veggie burgers and tbh at least where I’m from most of the time they kinda suck. I’ve had a few really really good ones but mostly they tasted mid.
It’s the most hit or miss thing I can get as a vegan. It’s either a really great in-house, well seasoned patty. Or just a morning star frozen thing with grease as it’s only seasoning.
It can be hit and miss from my experience as well. We have a bar and grill place that has a black bean burger and the fucking patty is 1/2 lb and an inch thick. The burger tastes good but it’s way too much bean and it ends up being a chore to eat. We have a fast food place that has a black bean burger that is pretty thin but you get a lot of veggies on it and it is all pretty balanced. We have a local hipstery joint similar to the meme posted that has amazing food all around but they have a beyond burger and a black bean burger and it’s actually nice to have that option but they also always have like 3 other vegan options.
Worst place I ate brought the raw burger to you next to a boiling hot slab of rock. I was expected to cook my own burger the way I liked it. Well fuck you, I’m paying you to cook my meal. Plus it just seemed disgusting to have raw meat at the table anyway