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Norgur , in squeak!
@Norgur@fedia.io avatar

I like my jokes as I like two men walking into a bar: without any logical coherence whatsoever

ObviouslyNotBanana OP ,
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

This is a shitpost, not a joke, but I agree. Squeak!

tourist , in shitpost
@tourist@lemmy.world avatar

Back when lead poisoning wasn’t invented yet and the water supply tasted like I should violently murder a stranger

ObviouslyNotBanana OP ,
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

Lead posting

Thcdenton , in I should be banned from using microwaves
Raiderkev ,

Reminds me of all those idiots that microwaved their iPhones in like 2010

dev_null ,

Is there any documented case of someone actually doing that, not as a stunt / meme?

EmoDuck ,

I don’t think there’s much evidence besides people asking for help on forums after doing it, but those could also be fake.

Also keep in mind that everything on the internet is a lie ment to infuriate you

TheWordBotcher ,

Tetsuo, is that you?

bquintb , in AROOOOO!
@bquintb@midwest.social avatar

THERES NO AGEISM IN HOG CRANKING. AROOOOOOOO

ObviouslyNotBanana OP ,
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

AIN’T THAT THE TRUTH, BROTHER!!

kewwwi , in squeak!

🧀

ObviouslyNotBanana OP ,
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

🐁

GluWu ,

🪤

ObviouslyNotBanana OP ,
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

💥

KISSmyOS , in shitpost

Age is just a number. I may just be 27 on paper, but I identify as a boomer and deserve my drive-in theater, $20k family home and land barge with couch seats.

altima_neo ,
@altima_neo@lemmy.zip avatar

Don’t forget the pension

ObviouslyNotBanana OP ,
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

Forget the pension, buy gold !!

_stranger_ ,

Those land yachts were terrifying. It felt like driving a boat, and by that I mean you never felt in control, like the road was the sea and you were at its mercy. Turning the wheel was a suggestion to the car. Breaking felt like a quiet request to a busy waiter in a loud restaurant. The whole experience was akin to a janky “I’m in danger” carnival ride.

This was my experience as a pre teen in my grandpa’s ~1970 Lincoln Continental with a power/weight ratio of 13.5lbs/hp I can’t imagine something with vastly more power feeling better.

(Holy hell that car weighed as much as a tri motor plaid model S)

Ibaudia , in I should be banned from using microwaves
@Ibaudia@lemmy.world avatar

I got one of those fancy new microwaves that does 1 minute when you hit 1, 2 minutes when you hit 2, etc. I believe it has saved me about seven octillion eons of cumulative time I would have otherwise spent typing in numbers.

altima_neo ,
@altima_neo@lemmy.zip avatar

My parents have a microwave like that. It drives me nuts because it’s basically a better model of my old microwave. Controls look the same, but function completely differently.

hakase ,

I have one of those and it’s cost me who knows how much time and effort. The only times I ever really use are 15 seconds (for melting butter), 50 seconds (for water for baking bread; 1 minute is too hot), and 1:45 for coffee (again, 2 minutes is too hot). I can count the number of times I’ve actually used the “push 1 for 1 minute” feature on one hand, and instead I have to press an additional “timer” button for absolutely no reason Every. Single. Time. I want to microwave something.

Gustephan ,

Mine does that but only the 1-6 buttons. And like… if I’m being honest microwaving something for longer than 6 minutes is probably less than 1% of my total microwave usage, but it feels like the greatest injustice ever experienced by anybody when I have to press cook time then 8 0 0 to get my microwave to run for 8 minutes

Know_not_Scotty_does , in I should be banned from using microwaves

55 seconds is life

wander1236 , in Black Beauty - The Autobiography of a Horse
@wander1236@sh.itjust.works avatar

Blogspot spam is back, huh?

Decoy321 ,

Not for long.

jeena , in Black Beauty - The Autobiography of a Horse
@jeena@piefed.jeena.net avatar

The title sounds interesting, if I had time I'd listen to it. Perhaps I'll just bookmark it for now.

Tylerdurdon ,

It’s a lot of hoof clops and whinnying. I’m not sure what that horse was trying to get at, but I bet it made for some fine glue.

Catoblepas , in I should be banned from using microwaves

Everyone else doesn’t just smash the +30 sec button until it gives you a time that’s close enough?

everett ,

This is the way.

Wilzax ,

Doesn’t work with “power level”, need to press “cook time” next :/

Catoblepas ,

Normal person: guess I have to enter the correct cook time

Me: enter cook time as 5 and start and then you can still smash +30 sec

SkyezOpen ,

Look at this nerd setting the power level. Just cook it on full blast like everyone else. Just let whatever it is sit and the lava parts will warm up the frozen parts eventually.

antisuck ,

Mine doesn’t have that button, but I exercise a similar strategy.

Need 1 minute? Too many buttons. 111 will be fine.

5 minutes? No. 444. Close enough.

10 minutes is 999 of course.

Etc.

Threeme2189 ,

10 minutes is 999 of course.

8:88 is closer to 10 minutes than 9:99

groet ,

Are those seconds? As in is 100 = one minute or 100 seconds? Because 111sec ~= 2min 444sec ~= 7 1/2 min 999sec ~= 16 1/2 min

maccentric ,

There’s a range in there where lower numbers can be longer times than higher ones. For instance, 111 is less time than 99, since it gets interpreted as 1:11, or 71.

Buddahriffic ,

It’s as entered on a microwave. Any one with digital time entry I’ve seen have 2 digits as seconds and then the most significant ones beyond 2 become minutes.

maccentric ,

66 is better for 1 minute

Threeme2189 ,

55 is a second closer than 66

maccentric ,

True, but on my underpowered 600w oven, 66 is perfect

Dozzi92 ,
@Dozzi92@lemmy.world avatar

Glad to find a like-minded individual here. I generally do either 33 for that half minute heat, 55 for when it doesn’t quite need a minute, and 88, because after a buck thirty I should be stirring (if applicable).

We had an old microwave that had the button. It failed. I went and brought a new one home, and much to my wife’s chagrin, as is in my nature, I failed to notice the lack of 30s button.

altima_neo ,
@altima_neo@lemmy.zip avatar

My complicated AF microwave has a dial. I just turn it to the right time.

errer ,

My pet peeve recently is that some microwaves don’t also automatically start when you push +30, forcing me to push an extra button…

yonder ,

Interesting. My microwave does exactly that and I use it all the time. It also has “more” and “less” buttons to fine adjust the time by increments of 10 seconds, meaning I never have to enter a number or hit “start” most of the time.

TheReturnOfPEB ,

I would do like “2:22” then START

Hikermick ,

That’s my thing. Why push lot buttons when one do trick?

Hazmatastic ,

See, that’s the thing. I still can’t tell if you’re talking about several buttons, or if you’re talking about buttons located in parking lots. You’re saving a miniscule amount of time at best.

GluWu , in I should be banned from using microwaves

I can really vibe at 2.45ghz

Tylerdurdon , in I should be banned from using microwaves

You can’t put the same time every time! Are you nuts?

It needs to be a completely random number you think of right when you’re pushing the buttons or they’ll figure it out and the device will go off. Don’t let them do it!

Lemminary , in I should be banned from using microwaves

My 99 sec gang where you at.

LaunchesKayaks , in Growing Old
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

Me remembering I turn 27 in 13 days. 💀

recklessengagement ,

Welcome to the 27 club

cheddar ,
@cheddar@programming.dev avatar

Don’t you have to die to join the club?

recklessengagement ,

Not sure, I just assumed it had to do with being 27

Obi ,
@Obi@sopuli.xyz avatar

Yes, being 27 and dieing, preferably of an overdose or some other sudden causes. The club includes such illustrious members such as Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison and Amy Winehouse.

decivex ,

Turn back now!

LaunchesKayaks ,
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

Bro how? This ride is out of control.

TheReturnOfPEB ,

Now you are that much closer to 50 than birth!

LaunchesKayaks ,
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

When I turned 25, my mom told me I’m a quarter of a century old and that hit me so hard

ianovic69 , (edited )
@ianovic69@feddit.uk avatar

Now realise that when you reach 75, on average, you will have been asleep for 25 years.

I have tried to reduce that average but it takes it’s toll.

LaunchesKayaks ,
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

Up until recently, I slept absurd amounts of time. Untreated auto-immune disease and a severe vitamin D deficiency will make a gal sleepy lol.

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