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doublejay1999 , in Excellent
@doublejay1999@lemmy.world avatar

I hope this was done on company time.

bstix ,

I hope they used conditional formatting.

Make the font the same colour as the fill and it would be a pretty fun way to type in or calculate “cell art”.

Passerby6497 ,

Paint by numbers for white collar workers.

surewhynotlem , in I still don't get why people spend money... there's tons of it for free

Buy local from small producers

r00ty Admin ,
r00ty avatar

Organic pr0n?

wildbus8979 ,

Free range mostly

Senseless ,

still often not fully organic

bruhduh ,
@bruhduh@lemmy.world avatar

Those bolt on tiddies

Arcity ,
@Arcity@feddit.nl avatar

There are 23 singles in your area

EdibleFriend ,
@EdibleFriend@lemmy.world avatar

THATS A LOT OF TITS

(Plz read that in the voice of the nuts guy in Kung Pow)

Speculater ,
@Speculater@lemmy.world avatar

Or make your own at home, it’s cheaper and sustainable.

Daft_ish ,

I know for a fact that’s what your mom does.

0x4E4F OP ,
@0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

Yep, mine does it as well. This post was actually a social experiment to try and get her more subscribers.

shani66 , in Mystical land pirates (with pizza)

Yeah i never looked into getting any kind of delivery job solely due to the idea I’d need to be able to find my way around the town I’ve lived in my entire life. I could get lost going to the grocery store and it hasn’t moved in, like, two decades.

gregorum ,

I grew up in a time when you had to remember things, like where things were. In fact, for decades, I managed to do that. Suddenly, in 2007, I suddenly forgot where everything on the entire planet was.

Crazy!

bobs_monkey ,

My wife likes to give me shit for not using GPS, instead commiting directions to memory and then going (with mixed results). But, I have a better handle on where a lot is, so, checkmate atheists.

gregorum ,

The only place of feel bad about getting lost is in Manhattan because the streets are numbered, or in my neighborhood in Brooklyn because of how long I’ve lived there. Everywhere else?

“Siri: give me transit directions to X,” then I pop in my AirPods and listen to a podcast while Siri tells me where to go!

force ,

me with my aphantasia

saltesc ,

I have a friend like this. Born and raised in his city. Put him on his feet in the CBD and turn him 180°, dude’s immediately lost.

ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling , in I'm deaf
@ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

I can also smell and taste this picture

ObviouslyNotBanana OP ,
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

Ball

IDontHavePantsOn ,

Is life

EnderMB ,

so hard

JoShmoe ,

You tried to put it in your mouth?

altima_neo ,
@altima_neo@lemmy.zip avatar

You’ve never put big red balls in your mouth?

ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling ,
@ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

You’ve never been knocked over like a bowling pin because some asshole decided to pitch overhand instead of bouncing it?

JoShmoe ,

No, but I’ve had plenty of these slam into my face.

UnderpantsWeevil , in Pathetic 🤷
@UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world avatar

Give me a $1.25T market cap and I promise I will deliver perfect continuous uptime forever.

You will be able to find embarrassing high school photos of ex-Presidents from the 2020s in the year 2400, climate apocalypse be damned. We will be violating spacetime and causality constraints to deliver continuous uptime, if I’ve got $1.25T worth of company to swing around. You will be able to check Facebook by tapping a rock while standing on the moon. You will look at baby pictures of the children of people who haven’t been born yet. The impossible will be made real.

Steamymoomilk ,

Best i can do is a buck fidy

dumpsterlid ,

But actually you are missing the whole point of the connection between money and magic. Money gets its value from creating a desperate scarcity of magic. If you use all that money to create all that magic it would destabilize the balance of nature and thus Kyle the Three Headed Hadal Zone Dragon would rise from the depths and eat you.

Everything is a zero sum game, even when there are no zeroes nor any sums. This is the way of god and the likeness of the market he created in his image.

trashgirlfriend ,

I am summoning Kyle the Three Headed Hadal Zone Dragon, allowing me to lose the game instantly

Son_of_dad , in Eeewww!

I’ll take dick shots over a 90 second shot of the dude’s face

Valmond ,

HAAAARGH!!! <= Guys red face

Valmond ,

HAAAARGH!!! <= Guys red face

Cowbee , in With the massacre of hundreds of Palestinians waiting for aid, we are forgetting the true victims.
@Cowbee@lemmy.ml avatar

Fuck fascism, fuck the monstrous IDF, fuck Netanyahu.

phreekno ,
@phreekno@lemmy.world avatar

Israeli Defense Offensive Forces

Quexotic ,

More like Israeli Genocide Forces

PhlubbaDubba , in There’s one in every friend group

Ah yes the marketing major quick fix excuse, “No sir I didn’t do a poor job selling your product! The customers are all just too stupid to buy it!”

UnderpantsWeevil ,
@UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world avatar

I think there’s a legit degree of lyrical quality to “quarter pounder” that doesn’t come off the same as “third pounder” or “half pounder”. Its just more fun to say.

PhlubbaDubba ,

I wonder what a fix on that specifically would look like, double-quarter-pounder? Dirty Poun…that already sounded better in my head and I didn’t even say it out loud lol.

UnderpantsWeevil ,
@UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world avatar

Dirty Poun…that already sounded better in my head

In-And-Out Burger not releasing a “Dirty Pounder” is a missed opportunity.

Sanctus , in LGBT with a twist
@Sanctus@lemmy.world avatar

Don’t forget the Q! Qanon

Grayox , in Da, is good shoe, comrade.
@Grayox@lemmy.ml avatar

Putin is not a Communist.

maynarkh ,

He’s big on USSR imperialism though, and coopting the hammer and sickle is a big part of that.

uis ,

He is plain imperialist. He doesn’t want everything else that came with USSR: pensions, education, healthcare

Clubbing4198 ,

I’m glad i didn’t have to say it. Like hes not even close

ivanafterall , in delicious
@ivanafterall@kbin.social avatar

No thanks, that stuff is going to be full of micrometals from that can.

KingJalopy ,

Don’t even get me started on all the preservatives that shit has in it to keep my micro-plastics “fresh”

No thanks, I’ll be getting my micro-plastics from the farmers markets, like any red blooded American should.

NegativeLookBehind ,
@NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world avatar

I prefer to get mine from the source. That way you get to see how they have been treated. Free range hormone free microplastics really are worth the extra money

KingJalopy ,

You’re not wrong. Unfortunately I live in the middle of nowhere where there’s just farms and shit. I have to drive all the way to the city to get anywhere near producers of free range plastics.

usualsuspect191 ,

You’re in luck! The can is lined in plastic

burgers , in Priorities

i was confused by the signs you sometimes see on escalators that are apparently warning you of their own existence for a good few years as a child

https://toast.ooo/pictrs/image/fdad99fe-d5b7-449f-a44d-8f6548ae3bdb.jpeg

Smc87 ,

This confuses me still

Vash63 ,

It’s warning that you could hit your head on something

holycrap ,

Hitting the brick wall right behind that sign would cause a much more serious injury than hitting the sign would. It’s the same idea as those signs by bridges that say “if you hit this sign you will hit that bridge!”

Better a minor bump on the head than a concussion. Not that an escalator moves fast enough to cause a concussion but you get the idea.

Everythingispenguins ,

It is warning you about radar head. Not sure what that is but be warned.

brbposting ,
FlyingSquid OP ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I’m not going to be the one to tell people how to do it, but perhaps the solution would have been to add text to the sign? Or just a text sign explaining the issue?

brbposting ,

(Really good) image/infographics signs avoid the need for translation to a million different languages. Not sure what would’ve fit best in the case of the escalator.

FlyingSquid OP ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I agree in a general use sense, but I think this is an instance where the information needed to be explained is a little too complex for a simple icon sign. It may not have alerted non-native speakers, but it probably would have helped more people than this.

burgers ,
FlyingSquid OP ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

See? Much better.

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot ,

You will be surprised by a headless upside-down cat.

crapwittyname , in Taylor Swift getting the airplane delivered that will fly her to her airplane on which she'll fly from one side to the other on an airplane, eating food delivered by airplane

It still makes me sad to look at the Antonov.
RIP AN-225, 1988-2022

THE_MASTERMIND ,

Who ?

Valmond ,

The plane.

THE_MASTERMIND ,

Thanks

HootinNHollerin ,

Largest plane in the world, got destroyed by Russia in Ukraine

THE_MASTERMIND ,

Ahh thanks

Gork , in Tipping culture npcs

It does annoy me slightly when POS systems have placeholder tip amounts but they’re like 18%, 20%, and 25%. Sorry, but I just do the standard 15% in most cases so now I gotta calculate it out in my head.

BruceTwarzen ,

I'm gonna go with the standard 0% or round up the number if i feel like it.

Fiivemacs ,

Right? Like why is people’s STANDARD giving money away.

Neato ,
@Neato@ttrpg.network avatar

Because that’s how our service industry is built.

Tipping isn’t mandatory. But the issue is if a lot of people stop tipping all at once, servers will quit those locations. Then those locations will almost certainly go out of business because they can’t afford to pay a living wage because the US’s commercial real estate is insanely expensive. Current restaurant models essentially are built on this dynamic and to change it would require a lot of moving pieces to change. But for those pieces to change, a LOT of businesses will need to go out of business all at once to tank the real estate market.

And you may think: if they can’t afford to pay a living wage, they should go out of business. That’s a reasonable stance but it ignores the result: megacorps will buy up real estate and only huge chain restaurants will likely survive these kinds of busts. All your local favorite places will go under and be replaced by Fridays or Applebees because their thousands of locations can close 25% to focus on profitability.

Darkmuch ,

I’ve been asked for tips when having carryout. And also getting a scoop of ice cream. Tipping is a relic of racist practices when southern people didn’t want to pay emancipated black workers a wage. It only still exists because restaurant owners lobby congress to keep it a thing. Stop bribing congress and pay your employees you fucks.

Neato ,
@Neato@ttrpg.network avatar

I’ve been asked for tips when having carryout.

You’re just complaining now. That has not been customary and it annoys me too. Don’t tip if service wasn’t rendered.

Tipping is a relic of racist practices when southern people didn’t want to pay emancipated black workers a wage.

Sad fact but entirely irrelevant to the issue today.

It only still exists because restaurant owners lobby congress to keep it a thing. Stop bribing congress and pay your employees you fucks.

In two sentences you have identified why you can’t just stop tipping AND how to fix it: legislation.

If you stop tipping but still go out, you are essentially doing what racists in the past did by not paying people you would appear to not like. You not tipping is classist bigotry.

Fight for server’s rights in a way that actually makes a difference: contact your congress people and elect people who care about this issue. Not tipping is just hurting people at the lowest rungs of society while still taking their labor. Gross.

Serinus ,

Fight for server’s rights

Yeah, this isn’t what you’d be doing. Survey servers and ask if they’d rather get tips or $15/hour and see what kind of responses you get.

UnderpantsWeevil ,
@UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world avatar

Normally, you’re paying a tip on service. So, the waiter hovering over your table and collecting your order / refilling your drink / dusting off the table between courses is part of the dining experience. Its fee for service.

But yeah, now the credit card reader asks if you want to pay a tip to the fucking vending machine. Its asinine.

hemko ,

Price of the product and service is the list price. Tipping is extra

UnderpantsWeevil ,
@UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world avatar

List price virtually never includes service fees and taxes, at least in the States. I swear, its like some of you people have never eaten out before.

hemko , (edited )

I’ve been eating in restaurants from street food to nice ones on multiple countries, and continents. Service fee (and taxes too BTW) are always included in the list price. That’s the default

What kind of shithole country you’re living in?

Edit: since servers in USA are paid hourly (even if shitty), the service fee must be in the list price. it’s just the fact that the servers are not paid enough, and the customers are being blackmailed to pay extra off the books

jballs ,
@jballs@sh.itjust.works avatar

There’s a self service store in the Newark airport that sells overpriced snacks for travelers stuck without any other options. It asks you for a tip while you check yourself out. As if paying $6 for a cup of juice wasn’t bad enough already.

m_f ,
@m_f@midwest.social avatar

I just had a POS machine recommend 20%, 25%, or 30% for percentages. It seems like it’s increasing

eek2121 ,

I had one do that (well, even higher, 25, 30, 35, Other) for a retailer recently. Like, it took them under 10 seconds to ring me up and they should automatically get 25%? I chose zero.

Imgonnatrythis ,

You chose wisely

ManosTheHandsOfFate ,
@ManosTheHandsOfFate@lemmy.world avatar

For POS they’d be much more likely to get a tip from me if the options were $0.50, $1.00, or $1.50.

SexualPolytope ,
@SexualPolytope@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

I just keep reading this as Piece of Shit machine, and I don’t think I’m too off the mark here.

Frozengyro ,

If you ever had to use one, you’d be right on the money.

frezik ,

Yes, very. The software on those things is terrible.

Serinus ,

The standard tip at a POS is 0. Generally the same for carry out.

If you’re not getting personal service by a human, you don’t need to tip.

They do it because they can get away with it and it makes money off of suckers.

gigachad ,

As a non-native speaker, I assume POS != Peace of shit?

Gork ,

Point of Sale.

But you’re correct in that most of these Point of Sale systems are also Pieces of Shit.

Blackmist ,

Can confirm.

Source: I make POS systems.

Ensign_Crab ,

Point of Sale.

B1naryB0t ,

Often it means that but in this case it means “Point Of Sale”

sananibar ,

Point of Service (?) aka the machine that handles the transaction

someguy3 ,

POS in normal talk means piece of shit. POS in business talk means point of sale.

Rentlar ,

If my tip is to be decided before I see my order in front of me, 5% tops if at all.

ColeSloth ,

Fun fact. When I was a kid, the “standard” was 10%. So food prices have shot up faster than inflation, but you’re still tipping 50% more than what the norm was when tipping was already well established.m, even if you ignore the expensive food you’re tipping for.

Seraph , in This may just not be the best packaging idea...
@Seraph@kbin.social avatar

Soylent Cola? How is it?

It varies from person to person.

TacoThrash3r ,
@TacoThrash3r@sh.itjust.works avatar

I came here for this!

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