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uphillbothways , in Knowledge is... power?
@uphillbothways@kbin.social avatar

When I was a teenager, an older friend told me how he learned in college history how the first Emperor of China wrote the language, made all these scientific discoveries, etc, etc. And I, knowing fuck all about Chinese history, was like 'you mean he killed all the historians and advisors, then burned all the libraries, so he could take credit, right?' My friend is like 'uhhh.....'

Yeah, so turns out that's pretty much how more recent readings of it say it went down.

DragonTypeWyvern ,

If by that you mean “He was about as real as King Arthur,” sure.

HawlSera ,

Wasn’t he based on some truth or something?

DragonTypeWyvern ,

They’re both cultural stories that were probably based on several actual historical figures at some point that were combined and mythologized over centuries.

Take Arthur. You could maybe find the origin of the character in some Celtic leader fighting the Romans, then as people retell stories he gets merged with a different guy, and then when the Anglo-Saxons invade new stories get added and repurposed etc etc and now the French hear about it and decide it needs a love triangle where the English king gets cucked by a French Chad Knight, boom, now you’ve got a medieval courtly love story from someone once talking about the time Athor’lescs’op once stole some Roman sheep.

The Yellow Emperor is the same thing. There probably was a Chinese warlord who paid for some irrigation ditches and wasn’t too big of an asshole to the peasants, and another one later who built some libraries, so they’re “based on a historical figure” but mostly the stories are just cultural myths that make good entertainment and maybe work as a morality play.

Chickenstalker ,

Qin Shi Huang was as real as Julius Caesar.

DragonTypeWyvern , (edited )

He’s also not the person OP referenced.

The actual “first emperor of a unified China” being a different person than the mythological “First Emperor, tamer of rivers, maker of paper, big brained inventor of everything.”

thorbot , in They were lucky Aladdin was such a cool dude

First wish: all humans turn blue for 24 hours after masturbating

Second wish: reverse all human digestive tracts so food goes into anus and excretion comes out of mouth, trump style

Third wish: reproductive organs are all non functional for reproduction specifically and humans mate by doing The Polka for 6 consecutive hours.

Love, Satan

w00tabaga ,

Third kind of makes the first one pointless. Unless that is, you consider doing the Polka by yourself masturbation.

djsoren19 ,

You still feel horny urges, but baby can only be created via intense accordion action. It’d be a real blessing, the most effective form of contraceptive available.

Aqarius ,

“Blessing”. Weird Al would have his hands full pretty quickly.

thorbot ,

Notice how I said reproduction specifically. You could still pleasure yourself. and yes solo polka would also count as masturbation

oolio ,

Do you masturbate to reproduce?

Seventhlevin ,

Shit damn. I can’t masturbate OR polka without turning blue? That really is diabolical.

Shush ,

Funnily enough, the third wish is actually one of the most positive things that can happen here.

Now people will fuck each other all day without having to worry about getting pregnant. No pills, no implants, no hormone. It’s just good ol’ pleasure now.

azvasKvklenko ,

I’m blue, da ba dee da ba di

Delphia , in Lemmy feels so much more welcoming than R*ddit... And it's weird

Go onto Lemmygrad and try talking about your investment property.

ATQ ,

OP on the first of the month: Good morning, renters!

ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling ,
@ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Have fun getting to Lemmygrad. Your instance is one of the only ones that still federate with it

TonyTonyChopper ,
@TonyTonyChopper@mander.xyz avatar

mine does too

Ubermeisters ,

Go on hexbear and literally say anything at all

s_s ,

literally

Only worthless capitalists read!

Ubermeisters ,

Lmao thanks. You get it

Cabrio ,

Unironically true looking at literacy rates in poor under supported communities.

outer_spec , in nobody knows how it feels
@outer_spec@lemmy.studio avatar

Can’t believe that people are spreading the left-handed agenda on this apolitical shitposting sub. A hundred years ago, everyone was right-handed. But these days, the sinister left-handeds are forcing their unnatural left-handed ideology onto our children! Disgusting!

sent from my samsung smart fridge

thanks_shakey_snake ,

sinister left-handeds

I see what you did there

Nerorero , in nobody knows how it feels
@Nerorero@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Opressiin is not a competition

humanlyhuman429 ,

I think you forgot this is shitposting

julianh ,

Me when I post blatant racism and insult women (it’s fine I’m just shitposting)

Repossess6855 ,

Chill its just a meme it is not a serious take on either topic

SkyeStarfall ,

Ideas very much are disseminated through memes and jokes. That’s one of the main social purposes.of comedy.

Why is including feminists funny to people in a meme? What is the implication?

neutralbipolar2 OP ,
@neutralbipolar2@lemmy.world avatar

deleted_by_author

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  • SkyeStarfall , (edited )

    They have an implication whether it is intended or not.

    Clent ,

    Being left handed is racist?

    humanlyhuman429 ,

    how is this racist and how does this insult women?

    moosetwin ,
    @moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

    nothing exists in a vacuum :(

    Spaghetti_Hitchens ,

    Neutrinos do. They exist everywhere

    julianh ,

    Not a true vacuum if there are neutrinos in it.

    Napain ,

    no one ever normalized serious hate politics through shitposting, right???

    humanlyhuman429 ,

    this is not meant to be serious shitposts aren’t serious like i have to point that out

    irmoz ,

    Their point stands, though

    Hazdaz ,

    It is these days.

    peetabix , in My favourite piece of Internet history
    @peetabix@lemmy.world avatar

    I think Bobson Dugnutt is my favourite.

    ArrrborDAY ,

    It is an awesome name

    dbx12 , in gender selection

    I’m going to hell for laughing at the bad circumcision option

    halvar ,

    Shouldn’t because it happened in real life. Look up David Reimer.

    Kotsi3P0 ,

    I looked it up, his life story is terrible but informative and hopefully discouraging many people doing the same to their children/patients.

    AnActualFossil ,
    @AnActualFossil@kbin.social avatar

    I read that as "children / parents" and was about to search for this amazing revenge story, but then I read the post again and now I'm disappointed.

    Hogger85b ,

    Happened (not quite to that extent) but to a friend of mine. He is still male with penis, but erections cause him discomfort to pain and he is unable use his penis for sex. Deeply affected his psyche and relationships.

    Kayel ,

    Its more common than people think

    www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3253617/

    WtfEvenIsExistence , in It’s going good so far 🤞🤞

    Congratulations, you’ve been defederated. Please do not resist.

    TheGoldenGod OP ,
    @TheGoldenGod@lemmy.world avatar

    I really hope it works out as smoothly as this, it feels like advertising sneaks it’s way in somehow though. 😣

    Cruxifux ,

    I haven’t seen any ads thus far on lemmy and it’s pretty great.

    TheGoldenGod OP , (edited )
    @TheGoldenGod@lemmy.world avatar

    I’m more worried about the advertisers sneaking in through “bragging” about products, like Reddit saw. 😣

    Cruxifux ,

    Bragging? I’m not familiar with this. What does that mean in terms of advertising?

    Kolanaki ,
    @Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

    It’s a form of guerrilla advertising where they play on FOMO and try to make people jealous of someone who is “loving” the product. It’s one of the harder forms of shilling to detect because it can sound just like a regular person who actually does enjoy a specific product.

    TheGoldenGod OP ,
    @TheGoldenGod@lemmy.world avatar

    Exactly this. It’s made me a pessimist online, and offline.

    TheGoldenGod OP ,
    @TheGoldenGod@lemmy.world avatar

    I’ll admiit, bragging wasn’t the right word, but I meant all the PR teams the enshittify social media like fleas, by pretending to be a run of the mill user, attempting to build hype.

    Cruxifux ,

    Oh I get what you mean.

    Yeah I tried to google what a good free VPN was and all the Reddit posts were OBVIOUS plants by VPNs that wanted you to pay for them.

    I found a free one eventually but Reddit was no help.

    TheGoldenGod OP ,
    @TheGoldenGod@lemmy.world avatar

    Exactly, with SEO it’s like wading through a septic tank these days.

    Cruxifux ,

    Not to sound like an idiot but I don’t know what SEO is either.

    TheGoldenGod OP ,
    @TheGoldenGod@lemmy.world avatar

    Sorry, Search Engine Optimization. en.m.wikipedia.org/…/Search_engine_optimization

    Ruined Google search results, now it’s mostly spam.

    Cruxifux ,

    Oh yeah. It’s annoying as fuck. Every service we used to take for granted is just becoming a big add.

    LouNeko ,

    So all the Sync posts aren’t ads in disguise?

    Kolanaki ,
    @Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

    Yeah that’s what I was thinking. I haven’t seen a pop up or a banner ad; but I’ve seen plenty of ads in the form of a creator trying to sell their creation and other shill stuff. Not nearly as often as on Reddit, but it’s not something you can escape from on social media.

    Cruxifux ,

    I’m fine with that. I just don’t want to be reminded that hellofresh exists every five minutes.

    Cruxifux ,

    I don’t know what a sync post is either man haha

    towerful ,

    My man, have you met our lord and saviour hypnotoad?

    0nXYZ ,

    ⚡️😵‍💫⚡️

    callyral ,
    @callyral@kbin.social avatar

    It's not and I'm Lovin' It. The Fediverse I mean. Want to defederate from corporate ads? Just Do It. Have It Your Way and Make Every Second Count.

    Really, you just need to Think Different.

    Strayce ,

    Where is c/angryupvote

    LetKCater2U ,

    This is the most beautifully crafted comment I’ve read all day. Bravo!

    NewWorldOverHere , in funny because true

    I’m the same way with my mail.

    I’m a millennial - I don’t check my mailbox for 6+ weeks at a time.

    If I order something, then I know about it and expect it at my door (because it’s fedex, amazon, or ups).

    Otherwise, it will have to wait until I happen to remember I have a mailbox.

    For example, with bills - I expect you to have my email address and use it, because I supplied it whenever I established xyz account.

    Exceptions:

    1. Around the holidays when people send out holiday cards!
    2. For a local property tax exemption, my county refuses to email it. Their requirement for receiving the exemption is that you live here locally, and part of their way for verifying that, is by sending the request form to your local physical address.
    GCostanzaStepOnMe ,

    I don’t check my mailbox for 6+ weeks at a time.

    That seems dangerously negligent.

    Fuck_u_spez_ ,

    Welfare checks have been conducted over less.

    Nepenthe ,
    @Nepenthe@kbin.social avatar

    When it's too cold out to wanna walk all the way up there, I've gone for 3-4 months at a stretch. All I ever get is garbage anyway, so it's only ever mattered twice, and one of those was an expected package.

    No one's ever called me a welfare check :(

    NewWorldOverHere ,

    I’m in the military lol. The government definitely knows I’m alive by 0600 sharp every morning.

    grue ,

    I’ve had a P.O. box for years because I don’t want to disclose my home address when I register domains. Maybe I should check it one of these days…

    almar_quigley ,

    Ok boomer

    Djeikup ,

    Arthur Dent kinda stuff is going to happen to him. Yellow…

    Veraxus ,
    @Veraxus@kbin.social avatar

    I'm like this with email. I do a quick visual scan about once per week... or fortnight... because it's almost all SPAM, and no matter how many blocks and filters I create, it does little to hold back the tide of trash.

    Everyone who matters knows the only way to reach me reliably is via text message.

    frustratedphagocytosis ,
    @frustratedphagocytosis@kbin.social avatar

    I nearly missed a jury duty notice because of this habit. I only check if I know money or a specific bill is coming.

    bob_wiley ,
    @bob_wiley@lemmy.world avatar

    I get it, I check mine maybe once a week, but if I go longer than that it’s completely stuffed full. At some point it’s just not nice to the mail carrier that has to try and jam shit in there.

    If junk mail didn’t exist wouldn’t be an issue, but there is a lot of verbose junk sent in the mail.

    NewWorldOverHere ,

    I am almost to the point where I don’t mind normal junk mail. That’s easy to quickly scan, identify as junk, and toss.

    What really grinds my gears are when my companies contact me and write something like “Important” on it. This happened recently with my credit card company. I thought maybe I had gone overdue, or had overpaid and this was letting me know my bill the following month would be less (it has happened before).

    No - it was letting me know I had good credit and could get a good % on a loan through them if I wanted. Now, that made me mad. Junk mail, from my very own credit card company. B.S.

    bob_wiley ,
    @bob_wiley@lemmy.world avatar

    My bank called me and told me I needed to come it due to something with my account. I asked what it was and they weren’t clear. I asked if they were just going to try and sell me a credit card and they said no. During the week I work banking hours, so they agreed to have me come in on Saturday. So on Saturday, instead of doing what I want, I get dressed and go to the bank. They tried to sell me a credit card and a savings account. Since that happened I found a new bank and have been migrating over. I plan to close the account completely in the coming months. I was a customer for 22 years without any issues, but fuck them for lying to me and disrupting my weekend for a sales pitch.

    Gork ,

    In the stamp postmark area, if you see “Prepaid Sorted Standard”, most of the time it’s junk mail like what you describe. Regardless of how “important” it says it is.

    NewWorldOverHere ,

    That’s a good tip, thank you!

    Awe ,
    @Awe@lemmy.ml avatar

    If you live in the US, you can get your mail sent to your email inbox every day you are getting something that is directly addressed to you (i.e., not spam). It’s called USPS Informed Delivery.

    It doesn’t always work if they get your address slightly off (say they put STE instead of APT), but it’s a lot better than nothing.

    NewWorldOverHere ,

    Just signed up for this, thank you. It’s fantastic!

    Now I can check my mail from the comfort of my bed. USPS email comes daily at 0400.

    AccurstDemon , in PLEAAASSEE PLEASE COME BACK TO THE OFFICE PLS
    @AccurstDemon@sopuli.xyz avatar

    It’s both decreasing productivity AND saving the economy!!!

    fortune.com/…/remote-work-preventing-economy-from…

    Such an incredible paradox 🤯

    GladiusB ,
    @GladiusB@lemmy.world avatar

    That’s a pay site

    DreamySweet ,
    @DreamySweet@lemmy.sdf.org avatar
    misterundercoat ,

    Reminds me of the headlines trend a few years ago when Millenials were killing everything.

    betheydocrime , (edited ) in looking forward to the comments

    Hard G and soft G are both acceptable pronunciations, the only way to be wrong in the situation is to insist that your preferred way to pronounce it is the only correct way to pronounce it

    Oh, except silent G. Silent G is wrong.

    cinnamorollyy ,
    @cinnamorollyy@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

    deleted_by_author

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  • betheydocrime ,

    How do I delete someone else’s comment

    FlickeringScreens ,
    Eccitaze ,
    @Eccitaze@yiffit.net avatar

    nah fuck that i’mma be unapologetically weird and scruffy

    life’s too short to give a fuck

    flickertail OP ,
    @flickertail@lemmy.world avatar

    In that case, yodspeed my dude

    TeoTwawki ,
    @TeoTwawki@lemmy.world avatar

    Gif you say so

    Iapar ,

    Hard R would also be wrong.

    evatronic ,

    I will never not smile when this comes up. Not because of the word, but because of Linus.

    youtu.be/MFDiuBomSuY

    Iapar ,

    The innocent “what?! No!” :D

    Jtn670 ,

    No Gifs or Gbuts

    damnson ,

    Based and true

    LillyPip ,

    Gigh, as the Scots pronounce it. That’s the only way.

    CobaltLion , in Chill out man

    Is there a way I can un-see this?

    Exatron ,

    No, but there are things that will make this seem pleasant by comparison.

    0x4E4F ,
    @0x4E4F@lemmy.rollenspiel.monster avatar

    Like scat posts?

    hglman ,

    Depends who you ask.

    rcmaehl ,
    @rcmaehl@lemmy.world avatar
    0x4E4F ,
    @0x4E4F@lemmy.rollenspiel.monster avatar

    Yeah… more or less… less…

    Ddubz ,
    @Ddubz@lemmy.world avatar

    Honestly, you should check out Nelly’s Nest. Some of the simultaneously most disturbing and inspiring comics on the internet.

    0x4E4F ,
    @0x4E4F@lemmy.rollenspiel.monster avatar

    Jesus, they really are exactly like that, lol 😂. Good thing he has reddit, that’s about the only thing I have left from mainstream social media 😂.

    bruhduh , in I'll have a Number 9, a Number 9 large, a Number 6 with extra dip, two Number 45's, one with cheese, and a large soda.
    @bruhduh@lemmy.world avatar
    TachyonTele , in children

    Took me awhile, but I finally decoded “bire”.
    It’s diary.

    eager_eagle ,
    @eager_eagle@lemmy.world avatar

    so there’s no bear named bire

    Zwiebel ,

    They wrote dire not bire

    TachyonTele ,

    …and?

    MrJameGumb , in Mouth feel
    @MrJameGumb@lemmy.world avatar
    flicker ,

    That one’s a bit creepy, but he liked it!

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