There have been multiple accounts created with the sole purpose of posting advertisement posts or replies containing unsolicited advertising.

Accounts which solely post advertisements, or persistently post them may be terminated.

lemmyshitpost

This magazine is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Thcdenton , in Ive bought two

Paninis will never be the same

ZeDoTelhado , in Perfect posture

That’s how i want my canisters: with good posture

Steamymoomilk ,

That gas can is the apex of fitness

BonesOfTheMoon , in *doing my best google impression* Did you mean: turn it up?

My spouse was admitted to hospital for two weeks and had several geriatric roommates. The nurse asked one of them if she knew where she was, and she yelled “IN SATAN’S ASSHOLE”.

Noodle07 ,

Oh so Texas?

chiliedogg ,

That actually isn’t even much of a stretch for Texas names. I live near the Devil’s Backbone.

Slovene ,

You live near an awesome horror movie? m.imdb.com/title/tt0256009/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_1_tt_…

chiliedogg ,

I’ll have to check it out!

I’m actually involved in the filming of a local horror movie that’s going to be truly awful.

It’s about mermaid monsters. I help coordinate some of the water work and act as the !production photographer and backup safety diver for the underwater scenes.

It’s going to be really, really bad. But it’s still fun!

(lemmy.world/…/6785e9f4-ba82-470d-879a-0f69588ede2…)

kuberoot ,

A beautiful B movie?

chiliedogg ,

More like a D

jubilationtcornpone ,

So you live just north of Satan’s asshole. Got it.

Cornelius_Wangenheim ,

More specifically, Houston.

InternetCitizen2 ,

Satan’s asshole in Texas is called Dan Patrick.

MrShankles ,

Nurse here: we ask ‘orientation’ questions as part of our assessment

I had a younger patient going through the straights with hallucinations (newly diagnosed schizophrenia)… and I had been asking the same questions (as we do) a lot

So I asked them once again, “Do you know why you’re in the hospital?”. Their response: “Deez nuts!”

I always appreciate a good “Deez nuts” joke, but that one has been my favorite so far. The volition on their face and the shitty smirk; they’re completely tied down with a guard because they would occasionally be violent… but hot damn, that was a zinger.

I counted their response as oriented— they know what they did lol

BonesOfTheMoon ,

I like that so much! Deez nuts lol.

Feredir , in Ive bought two

Reminds me of the reployer from Prey. Every office has one of these machines but seemingly no one knows what they actually do - not even engineers.

solsangraal ,

such a great underrated game. the true successor to system shock 2 that bioshock attempted

PenisWenisGenius ,

wtf. My last office job had 2 of these, I never thought about it before. I don’t recall ever seeing anyone use them but some corporate maintenence guy would come inspect them twice a year.

solsangraal , in Ive bought two

this is fucking hilarious. it’s exactly as functional as the gigantic kitchenaid mixer that my housemate INSISTS that it stay on the kitchen counter even though it hasn’t been used in 5+ years. apparently for some people it’s absolutely imperative that anyone who happens to come to the house MUST be made aware that we have a fucking kitchenaid mixer

dejected_warp_core ,

Could be worse. You can get a cozy for these things which makes it even more pointless.

solsangraal ,

LOL no way… there really is a sucker born every minute

ZeffSyde ,

No shit. My mom got a kitchen aid from my aunt and it has day unused under a hideous floral pattern dust cover because it was white and not pink like she wanted.

Next to the unused bread machine which is next to the George Foreman grill which is next to the panini press…

MiDaBa , (edited )

I had an ex who insisted on this setup. Apparently Kitchenaid has somehow been able to convince people this is an decorative status symbol. As an appliance I’ve never seen one in action and I’ve seen many of them.

solsangraal ,

it does the same thing you would normally do with your hands, except it takes 50 times longer

AlotOfReading ,

Have you tried plugging it in first? Machine kneading is usually faster than hand kneading.

dual_sport_dork ,
@dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world avatar

decorative status symbol

Of course it is. That’s why it comes in so many color options. Including “limited edition” ones which I find equal parts hilarious and infuriating.

Anyway, Smeg probably holds the crown for that sort of thing currently. Check this out. Notice that they won’t even show you the price at first. That’s because it’s got a UMRP of $2000.

HootinNHollerin ,

Must assert dumbinance

Aasikki ,

My 50 year old Kenwood mixer stays on the counter for one reason only and that’s because it’s too goddamn heavy to be lifting back and forth. Also I sometimes get inspired to bake just from seeing it on the counter, which is a nice plus.

aphlamingphoenix , in *doing my best google impression* Did you mean: turn it up?

Coldplay is the John Krasinski of music.

imPastaSyndrome , in Ive bought two

The exact dimensions of an 80-pound stainless steel block would depend on its specific shape. However, we can estimate its size based on the density of stainless steel, which is around 490 lbs per cubic foot (lb/ft³). To find the volume of the block, we can divide its weight (80 lbs) by its density (490 lb/ft³):

Volume = Weight / Density. Volume = 80 lbs / 490 lb/ft³. Volume ≈ 0.16 cubic feet (ft³).

Since we don’t have a specific shape for the block, let’s assume it’s a cube for simplicity. To calculate the side length of a cube with a volume of 0.16 ft³, we can take the cube root of the volume:

Side length = ³√Volume.
Side length = ³√0.16 ft³.
Side length ≈ 0.54 ft (or about 6.5 inches).

Therefore, an 80-pound stainless steel block shaped like a cube would have sides measuring around 6.5 inches each.

Corkyskog ,

I just assumed it was hollow

imPastaSyndrome , (edited )

Well fuck you.

Edit: Sorry. That makes sense, I just was thinking about that tiny heavy cube you can buy that’s like the densest cube of metal and I wanted to get the math done because it was ENTIRELY too big in the photo in my estimation, and why would it be hollow? To take up more space sure but it would dent and be so much harder to produce but I GUESS I get it. UGH

Didn’t feel like doing the math for a hollow one myself so I asked bing to do it for me assuming it was about 10 inches in diameter (that’s what I guessed from the photo because it looked to be approximately as wide as one burner(?) it’d be 72% hollow

meliaesc ,

Why are you not the only person who did the math? Also, it’s not solid.

Klear ,

What’s wrong with the math? Looks pretty solid to me.

GluWu , in Whatever you do, don't translate 'with' in Latin.

Inside u there r 2 batman, they r kissing

bruhduh , in I'm generous like that
@bruhduh@lemmy.world avatar

Too late, sugar <3

Fridgeratr , in *doing my best google impression* Did you mean: turn it up?

Hahah dae Coldplay bad

RustyNova , in Have fun with this one

Can someone explain the joke to me?

1rre ,

“Lucky cucumber” is as close as I can get but needs some mispronouncing of cucumber

MacNCheezus OP ,
@MacNCheezus@lemmy.today avatar

It’s a type of meme that asks you to complete song lyrics with the thing in the picture. The song in this case is “Living on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi. Here are some other examples (with solution):

https://lemmy.today/pictrs/image/8246e8c1-537c-471c-a201-8453052ca927.jpeg

https://lemmy.today/pictrs/image/bdbae7cd-125f-4cc3-9cfb-1f898c2350b1.jpeg

Unfortunately I didn’t find a satisfying solution where I found this meme, so I can only assume that this is some sort of an anti-joke, i.e. the joke is that there is no joke, but you waste a bunch of time trying to find one anyways.

USSMojave ,
@USSMojave@startrek.website avatar

Could be “lucky charm spear” -> “living on a prayer”

Peppycito ,

If you live in a world where spear rhymes with prayer.

USSMojave ,
@USSMojave@startrek.website avatar

Shrug, blame OP who themselves doesn’t know how this post fits this meme

Peppycito ,

Don’t fret, I do.

bruhduh , in poni
@bruhduh@lemmy.world avatar

Huak tuah

Kedly ,

More like Huak BLUAH

Tamkish , in poni

Bojack after cotton candy

Kedly ,

Was looking for the Bojack comment!

Akasazh , (edited ) in *doing my best google impression* Did you mean: turn it up?
@Akasazh@feddit.nl avatar

For a short moment I thought she was referring to the life support.

Doesn’t make the joke funnier per se, but a lot darker

blackn1ght ,

turns off life support

“HAMMOND YOU BLITHERING IDIOT!”

HootinNHollerin , in poni

That uranium yellow cake will do that to a maf’k

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • [email protected]
  • random
  • lifeLocal
  • goranko
  • All magazines