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Nomad ,

I taught my kid to say “mom drinks beer for breakfast” as soon as she could talk. Wasn’t that popular with the family xD

Zoop ,

Lol! That reminds me of how (when AOL was thing and I was probably way too young to be on it but would use it to talk to family) my mom had me type out and send “I bought a bunch of cars and RECTUM!” via email or AIM out of nowhere to random family members with no context, even though I had no idea why that was funny, but she thought it was hilarious. Which is pretty damn funny looking back!

A_Very_Big_Fan ,

Reminds me of the people who taught their bird to say “mom beats me! oOoOoOoOo”

jlow ,

Juggling?

m__a__b ,

Pull my finger.

southsamurai ,
@southsamurai@sh.itjust.works avatar

Greasy, grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Dirty little birdy feet
Floatin in snake eyeballs

Too

Bad

I

Forgot

My

Spoon

But I got my straaaaaawwwwww. sluuuuurp

ettyblatant ,
@ettyblatant@lemmy.world avatar

Wow!!! This is fascinating-- I was raised with

Great big gobs of Greasy, Grimy, Gopher Guts Propagated Porcus Puts Sterilized Monkey Eyes, And me without a spoon! scoop Too Bad!

I think my mom was crazy on second thought

southsamurai ,
@southsamurai@sh.itjust.works avatar

A good mom is always a little crazy lol.

I’ve heard that version, and there was a version of the one I wrote out that started “great green gobs” too.

You wanna know what’s surprising though? We were taught the song in school, by the elementary music teacher. She’d come through the district one school at a time, once a week and we’d have music class. Basic rhythm instruments (like those ridged sticks you rub together that we canned rhythm sticks, maracas, cabasas, etc) and folk songs and such.

It was awesome. Mrs Gore was her name. Really tall blonde lady with an incredible voice that had infinite patience with kids that couldn’t sing worth a damn lol.

I’ve never been good at rote memorization, but I remember every damn song she taught us.

Michael row your boat ashore, Puff the magic dragon, she’ll be comin round the mountain, Mary Mack, John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith (usually pronounced Yon Yacob Yingleheimer), and a bunch more.

Oh man, and my entire class when I was in second grade took part in a school show, where each class did a song. We did Amazing Grace, and there were tears among the parents, and not just of boredom or because we sounded like a random group of kids trying to sing lol. We wore these blue vests and pants (I think the girls could choose to wear skirts, I remember that not all did, but not any discussion about it). It was so damn fun.

ssm ,
@ssm@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

skibidi toilet

sundray ,

“Guess what?”

“What?”

“CHICKEN BUTT!”

hitmyspot ,

Guess what.

What?

Youre a snot and I’m not.

Zoop ,

I love this type of thing! There’s also:

“Guess why?”/“Chicken thigh!”

“Guess who?”/“Chicken poo!”

As a kid I also came up with “Guess when?”/“Chicken shin!” “Guess where?”/“Chicken hair!” and “Guess how?”/“Chicken COW!!” but those may not be quite as good, hahaha.

falk1856 ,

That it’s pronounced heliclopter and not helicopter.

usualsuspect191 ,

Helico-pter

DirigibleProtein ,

My son came up with “epilopter” and that’s what we call them now.

EtherWhack ,
@EtherWhack@lemmy.world avatar

Teach her how she can insert “apparently” into every statement.

BananaPeal ,
@BananaPeal@sh.itjust.works avatar

My 8 year old starts almost every sentence with “By the way.”

the_crotch ,

In 80 years your kid could be president

neidu2 ,

And “allegedly”

DPRK_Chopra ,
@DPRK_Chopra@hexbear.net avatar

Make her chant for trump or biden depending on which will piss the elders off more.

shinigamiookamiryuu ,

How to disco.

NigelFrobisher ,

Gang signs.

riskable ,
@riskable@programming.dev avatar

How to tie her shoes the instant/quick way. She’ll be the coolest kid to all her peers and even amaze other parents who witness it…

youtu.be/Q5qZpQe_4EA?si=6fPhLyHs5BwJoaoA

(I have no affiliation with that channel it was just the first thing that came up when I searched)

kromem ,

On a vacation when I was a teenager I taught my younger sibling the “SYN/ACK” game.

They still remember the TCP stack handshake protocol including resets and acks years later.

0_0j ,
@0_0j@lemmy.world avatar

Lol, kid will sniff packets next

pineapplelover ,

What kind of game is this? Never heard of it

lemonSqueezy ,

Tell her a fun fact, in your best science teacher tone. It takes one billion microseconds to get to one second. Hopefully she can run with this and ask more questions.

aramus ,

I’m pretty sure that this is wrong? It should be one million. Am I too tired?

lemonSqueezy ,

My mistake, yes one million.

Hikermick ,

Impressions. Cartoon characters are best

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