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ininewcrow , (edited )
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

Teach her to say “I was born on a pirate ship”

Once she’s able to say it properly, tell her to open her mouth with a finger at each corner and say the phrase again. Get her to shout it out

Then tell her to show her new trick to mom and dad.

gac11 ,

I have had pretty good luck with doing

High five Up high Down low Too slow

My nephew would just let me do it forever, always trying to beat me on the too slow bit.

ace_garp ,
@ace_garp@lemmy.world avatar

The drums.

Or a less chaotic-evil suggestion, that water-drop sound made by flicking your cheek.

Brickhead92 ,

I think the water drop sound with your mouth is more chaotic evil than drums.

falk1856 ,

That it’s pronounced heliclopter and not helicopter.

usualsuspect191 ,

Helico-pter

DirigibleProtein ,

My son came up with “epilopter” and that’s what we call them now.

sundray ,

“Guess what?”

“What?”

“CHICKEN BUTT!”

hitmyspot ,

Guess what.

What?

Youre a snot and I’m not.

Zoop ,

I love this type of thing! There’s also:

“Guess why?”/“Chicken thigh!”

“Guess who?”/“Chicken poo!”

As a kid I also came up with “Guess when?”/“Chicken shin!” “Guess where?”/“Chicken hair!” and “Guess how?”/“Chicken COW!!” but those may not be quite as good, hahaha.

wuphysics87 ,

I taught my 18 month year old niece the sound a dinosaur makes. ROOOOOOOAAAR

southsamurai ,
@southsamurai@sh.itjust.works avatar

Greasy, grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Dirty little birdy feet
Floatin in snake eyeballs

Too

Bad

I

Forgot

My

Spoon

But I got my straaaaaawwwwww. sluuuuurp

ettyblatant ,
@ettyblatant@lemmy.world avatar

Wow!!! This is fascinating-- I was raised with

Great big gobs of Greasy, Grimy, Gopher Guts Propagated Porcus Puts Sterilized Monkey Eyes, And me without a spoon! scoop Too Bad!

I think my mom was crazy on second thought

southsamurai ,
@southsamurai@sh.itjust.works avatar

A good mom is always a little crazy lol.

I’ve heard that version, and there was a version of the one I wrote out that started “great green gobs” too.

You wanna know what’s surprising though? We were taught the song in school, by the elementary music teacher. She’d come through the district one school at a time, once a week and we’d have music class. Basic rhythm instruments (like those ridged sticks you rub together that we canned rhythm sticks, maracas, cabasas, etc) and folk songs and such.

It was awesome. Mrs Gore was her name. Really tall blonde lady with an incredible voice that had infinite patience with kids that couldn’t sing worth a damn lol.

I’ve never been good at rote memorization, but I remember every damn song she taught us.

Michael row your boat ashore, Puff the magic dragon, she’ll be comin round the mountain, Mary Mack, John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith (usually pronounced Yon Yacob Yingleheimer), and a bunch more.

Oh man, and my entire class when I was in second grade took part in a school show, where each class did a song. We did Amazing Grace, and there were tears among the parents, and not just of boredom or because we sounded like a random group of kids trying to sing lol. We wore these blue vests and pants (I think the girls could choose to wear skirts, I remember that not all did, but not any discussion about it). It was so damn fun.

Subnet64 ,

Arm pit farts

DessertStorms ,
@DessertStorms@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Alternatively - hand farts for the times it’s too hot to want to stick a hand in your armpit lol

MelodiousFunk ,

Seconding hand farts. I’ve never seen anyone wash their hands after doing armpit farts.

ColeSloth ,

Being too hot just makes a better bravado.

BodePlotHole ,

www.youtube.com/shorts/G81LihKHXD0?feature=share

kromem ,

On a vacation when I was a teenager I taught my younger sibling the “SYN/ACK” game.

They still remember the TCP stack handshake protocol including resets and acks years later.

0_0j ,
@0_0j@lemmy.world avatar

Lol, kid will sniff packets next

pineapplelover ,

What kind of game is this? Never heard of it

knightly , (edited )
@knightly@pawb.social avatar

Lockpicking

Using Linux

Media piracy

Feeding the homeless

Wheatpasting / graffiti

Political theory

Shoplifting from corporate chains

First Aid

Legal observation

Black bloc tactics

Guerilla gardening

Spotting plainclothes cops / informants

Dialectical Materialism

Alexstarfire ,

You have a weird sense of humor.

knightly ,
@knightly@pawb.social avatar

I’m a weird sort of person. 😺

Clydesdalecrusher ,

She could configure linux from scratch

OsaErisXero ,

Idk about some of these given the age bracket, but Spot the Fed is fun for the whole family.

Contramuffin ,

Seconding lockpocking. Easy to learn, tactile feedback (very kid friendly!), can absolutely annoy parents. But be careful to teach children not to do anything that’ll seriously get them into trouble

zakobjoa ,
@zakobjoa@lemmy.world avatar

I’ve thought my niece that policemen go “oink oink” and that pigs go “You have the right to remain silent!”

notfromhere ,

I’ve thought that too.

kitnaht ,

A buddy of mine taught his 5 yr old daughter to tell people “One time, at band camp…I stuck a flute in my…” long pause “nose”.

And he gets joy remembering all of the people go wide-eyed waiting for that next word out of her mouth.

DarkDarkHouse ,
@DarkDarkHouse@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

Just hope he’s prepared for when she finds out the quote’s origin

pelletbucket OP ,

i decided to let her watch Smackdown with me. we’ll see what she picks up as a surprise for mom & dad

Hugh_Jeggs ,

Oh great, show the niece thinly-veiled gay porn, aye

Iamsqueegee ,

My niece and nephew loved the “this guy” gag. What’s got two thumbs and thinks you’re the coolest? THIS GUY! and point to yourself with your thumbs.

Hugh_Jeggs ,

Nah here it’s Good guy/Wank

Teach her that, it’s an important life lesson

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