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Sanctus ,
@Sanctus@lemmy.world avatar

It’d be hilarious if you taught her how to code Fortran.

cm0002 ,

He said harmless

tiefling ,

Hey this might make her millions in the future

snausagesinablanket ,
@snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world avatar

You sick bastard! Have her do a print loop in BASIC.

ICastFist ,
@ICastFist@programming.dev avatar

I don’t think his niece is named Fortran, tho

SidewaysHighways ,

Flicking your cheek just right to make the water drop noise

BippinThatBop ,

💯

rockSlayer ,

OP, do this one

DessertStorms ,
@DessertStorms@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

This is evil

donkey makes popping noise

(not exactly the same noise but can be used to the same effect)

tiefling ,

Or making the mouth pop effect with your thumb

kromem ,

On a vacation when I was a teenager I taught my younger sibling the “SYN/ACK” game.

They still remember the TCP stack handshake protocol including resets and acks years later.

0_0j ,
@0_0j@lemmy.world avatar

Lol, kid will sniff packets next

pineapplelover ,

What kind of game is this? Never heard of it

Iamsqueegee ,

My niece and nephew loved the “this guy” gag. What’s got two thumbs and thinks you’re the coolest? THIS GUY! and point to yourself with your thumbs.

Hugh_Jeggs ,

Nah here it’s Good guy/Wank

Teach her that, it’s an important life lesson

zakobjoa ,
@zakobjoa@lemmy.world avatar

I’ve thought my niece that policemen go “oink oink” and that pigs go “You have the right to remain silent!”

notfromhere ,

I’ve thought that too.

UnderpantsWeevil ,
@UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world avatar

Teach her to order something off a foreign-language menu, invite the family out to dinner, and see if she can place her order fluently.

Doing the “Five year old white girl shocks waitress by ordering Orange Chicken in perfect Mandarian” bit IRL would be pretty funny and adorable.

knightly , (edited )
@knightly@pawb.social avatar

Lockpicking

Using Linux

Media piracy

Feeding the homeless

Wheatpasting / graffiti

Political theory

Shoplifting from corporate chains

First Aid

Legal observation

Black bloc tactics

Guerilla gardening

Spotting plainclothes cops / informants

Dialectical Materialism

Alexstarfire ,

You have a weird sense of humor.

knightly ,
@knightly@pawb.social avatar

I’m a weird sort of person. 😺

Clydesdalecrusher ,

She could configure linux from scratch

OsaErisXero ,

Idk about some of these given the age bracket, but Spot the Fed is fun for the whole family.

Contramuffin ,

Seconding lockpocking. Easy to learn, tactile feedback (very kid friendly!), can absolutely annoy parents. But be careful to teach children not to do anything that’ll seriously get them into trouble

TootSweet ,
  • Beatboxing. “Boots and cats and boots and cats”-style.
  • The pulling your thumb off trick.
  • The Macarena.
  • “The Game”. (“You just lost The Game.”)
  • Chopsticks on the piano/keyboard/toy xylophone/etc.
  • “The Name Game.”
WatDabney ,

The Song That Doesn’t End

GammaGames ,

You are evil

SzethFriendOfNimi ,
@SzethFriendOfNimi@lemmy.world avatar

That is utterly evil

ininewcrow ,
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

Then once they got it just right, let them sing it all week.

Once the week goes by … teach them 99 bottles of pop on the wall

kitnaht ,

A buddy of mine taught his 5 yr old daughter to tell people “One time, at band camp…I stuck a flute in my…” long pause “nose”.

And he gets joy remembering all of the people go wide-eyed waiting for that next word out of her mouth.

DarkDarkHouse ,
@DarkDarkHouse@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

Just hope he’s prepared for when she finds out the quote’s origin

sundray ,

“Guess what?”

“What?”

“CHICKEN BUTT!”

hitmyspot ,

Guess what.

What?

Youre a snot and I’m not.

Zoop ,

I love this type of thing! There’s also:

“Guess why?”/“Chicken thigh!”

“Guess who?”/“Chicken poo!”

As a kid I also came up with “Guess when?”/“Chicken shin!” “Guess where?”/“Chicken hair!” and “Guess how?”/“Chicken COW!!” but those may not be quite as good, hahaha.

EtherWhack ,
@EtherWhack@lemmy.world avatar

Teach her how she can insert “apparently” into every statement.

BananaPeal ,
@BananaPeal@sh.itjust.works avatar

My 8 year old starts almost every sentence with “By the way.”

the_crotch ,

In 80 years your kid could be president

neidu2 ,

And “allegedly”

Nomad ,

I taught my kid to say “mom drinks beer for breakfast” as soon as she could talk. Wasn’t that popular with the family xD

Zoop ,

Lol! That reminds me of how (when AOL was thing and I was probably way too young to be on it but would use it to talk to family) my mom had me type out and send “I bought a bunch of cars and RECTUM!” via email or AIM out of nowhere to random family members with no context, even though I had no idea why that was funny, but she thought it was hilarious. Which is pretty damn funny looking back!

A_Very_Big_Fan ,

Reminds me of the people who taught their bird to say “mom beats me! oOoOoOoOo”

InputZero ,

If she’s the right age, Teach her The Game. It’s a brain virus game.

Rule number 1 of The Game, you can not think about The Game. When you think about The Game you lose.

Rule number 2, when you think of The Game you have to say that you’ve lost The Game. Ideally loudly and publicly.

Rule number 3, after losing the game you get 30 minutes grace period to stop thinking about it before The Game starts again.

Rule number 4, once you have learned about the game you may either play the game or cheat.

grue ,

https://xkcd.com/391/

Captainvaqina ,

Dangit. It’s been years. You flipping flipper.

NotMyOldRedditName ,

You beat me to it.

Start em young.

Also I lost the game.

WorstCase ,
@WorstCase@lemmy.world avatar

It’s been a while. But now I lost the game again…

UpperBroccoli ,

I taught my niece to say “I can’t work like this!”. That was fun!

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