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@llPK@mastodon.social cover
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

llPK

@[email protected]

🚴📷🎶🎧🎸📚🔧🧳🫀
Relate to me as me, not what you see on tv

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JeremyMallin , to actuallyautistic
@JeremyMallin@autistics.life avatar

I feel like I'm less impressed or intimidated by famous people than most other people. They're just people, right?

Is that an autistic thing? Like maybe not appreciating arbitrary hierarchy?


@actuallyautistic

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@JeremyMallin @actuallyautistic what about people who are important in a subject of interest? Not people who are famous for being famous, but people who have achieved a lot in a field you care about? Or, you know, Greta Thunberg 😄

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@JeremyMallin @actuallyautistic so you don’t feel or act special when you see them?

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@JeremyMallin @actuallyautistic but to belabor the point, and sorry about that, were they people of note in a field you care about, or just generic celebrities that people are expected to care about?

kkffoo , to actuallyautistic
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cl447njkdy6o I haven't seen this but it sounds interesting.

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@kkffoo @actuallyautistic “Another important aspect of the show is its representation of neurodiversity.
Smale wrote Geek Girl before she was diagnosed with autism and dyspraxia, but has retroactively described Harriet as having both conditions as well.” Interesting!

dave , to actuallyautistic
@dave@autisticnomad.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

Two fully-disconnected weeks off from work have given me a clarity of mind I haven't had in a long time.

I thought I had mostly tackled my burnout over the winter, but the clarity I have now tells me that I was still burned out.

How do I know?

I feel like I have skills now that I haven't had in a long time. Cognitive and information processing skills. I feel like my brain can process things more clearly than before my time off.

I never really understood what it meant when people say that burnout causes loss of skills, but it totally makes sense now.

That clarity has also helped me see some of my challenges at work in a new light. In particular, managing people as an Autistic person.

Several people outside of my department have complained about a member of my team. They, and I, have had conversations with this person about that feedback. I've personally seen improvement and I'm not unhappy with their work. But I'm still getting complaints about them.

This is incredibly challenging for me. Am I misreading the social situation? Am I being taken advantage of? Do others see something I don't? Am I giving this person the benefit of the doubt far beyond what's reasonable? Are my expectations of others too low?

I don't know the answers to these questions, but they're definitely something I need to work on.

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@dave @actuallyautistic I can relate: I also find it challenging to handle the conflicts of others people, especially when suspecting a power play, in which case new “problems” will arise but the real motivation for the conflict stays hidden from me. I can also relate to the positive effect of taking a step back from daily life 🙂

ashleyspencer , to actuallyautistic
@ashleyspencer@autistics.life avatar

Why do they do this.


@actuallyautistic

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@ashleyspencer @actuallyautistic “you mean all my life I’ve been unfair to a bunch of people for no good reason, and I am responsible for my bad behavior?”
No wonder people rarely change.

LehtoriTuomo , to actuallyautistic

Mentioned to a coworker that I'm getting some books, for example on autism, and as they showed interest in the topic, proceeded to lightly info dump. Did give some space so that it was a true conversation. However, it reminded me of a thing I've been pondering.

As I present male, I've always been overly cautious of not mansplaining -- or at least ever since I learned about the term. Now that I know I'm autistic, I understand it's entangled with having learned that NTs don't like infodumping.

Whatever the cause, I have a tendency to stay silent even if I know about the topic at hand but aren't 100% certain that it's appropriate to talk about it. Sometimes it makes me sad.

@actuallyautistic

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@Tooden @felyashono @actuallyautistic it seems to me that disclaimers showing benevolent intent make messages from strangers a bit more pleasant, a lot goes a little way

edross , to actuallyadhd
@edross@mas.to avatar

"Neurodiversity and the Myth of Normal" by Kyler Shumway, Daniel Wendler, The Great Courses on Audible. https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/B0CVBK3QVB?source_code=ASSOR150021921000R

Really nice introduction to Neurodiversity. Shame it is locked into Amazon/Audible as it would be great to share

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd too

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@edross @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd I’ve heard audible books can be extracted to mp3

Susan60 , to actuallyautistic
@Susan60@aus.social avatar

I can’t remover who recommended this lecture, but whoever you are, thank you! @actuallyautistic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnU01HBN6zg

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@Susan60 @actuallyautistic this person probably @Smoljaguar

JeremyMallin , to actuallyautistic
@JeremyMallin@autistics.life avatar

I'm curious—how do we feel about any/all of the following labels? Are we ok with them? Offended by them? Have attitudes changed at all recently? I've noticed we don't all use the same vocabulary here.

• on the spectrum
• ASD
• has autism
• with autism
• is autistic
• Autistic
• Autist


@actuallyautistic

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@JeremyMallin @actuallyautistic « with autism » feels so weird. It evokes an accessory, or a small animal.

seekingfreedom , to actuallyautistic
@seekingfreedom@retro.pizza avatar

I read the term “computer-aided socialization” yesterday, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.

Perfectly describes what I’ve done intuitively since I was old enough to find my way into a chatroom.

@actuallyautistic

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@seekingfreedom @actuallyautistic oh yes. Also typing instead of speaking or writing by hand (I’m old)!

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@seekingfreedom @actuallyautistic and Mastodon is one of my new favorites, but I’m sure there are many more online because online is our world.

Averixus , to actuallyautistic
@Averixus@toot.wales avatar

I've never related to the analogy of having no filter. It only works if communication is like a torrent of innermost thoughts that are constantly being stopped lest they spurt out.

I don't have to work to not communicate, I have to work to communicate. everything i ever say is painstakingly assembled and forced out, the idea of being able to do that so easily that I could actually say something by accident is completely alien.

Is it just me?

@actuallyautistic

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@IPmonger @Averixus @actuallyautistic very very true

Susan60 , to actuallyautistic
@Susan60@aus.social avatar

I forget who drew my attention to this, but thank you! It’s very long, so I suggest you stop at each break, (a chapter heading is displayed) & consider whether you want to come back to it later. I’d prefer it to be broken into several videos because it would be useful to share with allistic people, but I don’t expect them to watch a video thats over an hour long. @actuallyautistic

https://youtu.be/WA9B4_e6sS0?si=6djOdxA4lOru4XxR

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@Susan60 @actuallyautistic haven’t seen this particular video yet, but on the subject of long videos that are mostly talk, it’s possible to turn them into mp3s and then listen like a podcast.

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@Susan60 @actuallyautistic and by that I mean, is anyone expected to actually WATCH an entire Contrapoints video ? 😇🤣

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@alexisbushnell @Susan60 @actuallyautistic it takes time to create nuance, and to really add something to the discussion, and I really appreciate long form for that.

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@Susan60 @actuallyautistic I’ve finally seen the video, it is a must-watch. Very well-structured and carefully researched.

Aerliss , to actuallyautistic
@Aerliss@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic A common convo in autistic spaces is what fictional characters are and are they good rep? I was just reminded of Charles, played by Steve Martin, in

Anyone else see it?

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@Aerliss @actuallyautistic yes! There’s a podcast about this (apologies for the Substack link)

https://autisticculture.substack.com/p/autistic-podcast-only-murders-is-autistic

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@Aerliss @actuallyautistic oh yes, that was a fun episode! And Danny Elfman!

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@Aerliss @actuallyautistic have you heard Edgar Wright on Doug Benson’s trivia podcast (Doug Loves Movies)? His knowledge of cinema is scary 😄

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@Aerliss @actuallyautistic speaking of which, you might have seen this already. If not, it’s a treat:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0P-Is2EJpEA

MrBerard , to actuallyautistic
@MrBerard@pilote.me avatar

Hello, fellow @actuallyautistic !

I am looking for podcasts recommendations on Autism (and managing one's). DMs are open!

I've got my faves in the ADHD space ('Hacking your ADHD', the ADDitide mag one), but I realise I've never, this far, explored....

(Wait for it)

...the audible spectrum.

(I'm legit after reccys, this wasn't just a setup for this pun, though it was a factor...)

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@MrBerard @actuallyautistic Autistic at 40, Autistic Culture Podcast, The Autistic Experience, Neurodiversity Podcast, Two Sides of the Spectrum are all great.

ferngirl , to actuallyautistic
@ferngirl@det.social avatar

Dear fellow neurodivergent peeps / @actuallyautistic , I'd like to look deeper into - I'd love your input.

If you can recommend any books / art / music by Autistic people, I'd love to hear about it.

If there already is a resource for Autistic culture, I'd love to know about it. If there isn't one, I'll consolidate what I find here & elsewhere on my website / blog.

Please share, comment, link - I want to learn!

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@ferngirl @actuallyautistic the autistic culture podcast is dedicated to this very purpose. Used to be on YouTube, now unfortunately on Substack.

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@ferngirl @actuallyautistic I’d like (a bit facetiously) to submit that this video is part of autistic culture. A 10-minute monologue on whether it’s right to rate 10 out of 10 to a musical album if you skip any songs 😄

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EMDaGd3sgPI

pinkpenguin , to actuallyautistic
@pinkpenguin@sakurajima.moe avatar

@actuallyautistic

does anybody know a polite and societally acceptable way to phrase

"dear colleagues,
i would love to spend my lunch break with you, but if i do so my brain has to spend 30-50 minutes being a) completely overwhelmed by the amount of social context and b) severely depressed about its inability to participate in any form of group conversation.
if i am lucky this means a whole workday without a proper break, when unlucky this gets me an extra little mini meltdown in the afternoon which then renders me unable to work for several hours / the rest of the day.
love, pinkie"

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@pinkpenguin @actuallyautistic colleague of mine brings a book for this very purpose

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@pinkpenguin @actuallyautistic colleagues of mine eat quickly then bring a tabletop game (the games are discussed in advance so everyone can research rules etc). Some do that in the common lunch area, some others book a meeting room to remove distractions.

sebwhatever , to actuallyautistic
@sebwhatever@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

Where else online do you hang out with other folx?

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@sebwhatever @actuallyautistic I was about to answer that online in general is pretty autistic, forums, special interests, and so on, but after a bit of reflection I assume you mean “where do you you hang out without and proud autistic people”. And that narrows the scope tremendously.

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

What would my comrades like to info dump about today?

Share with us and make a new friend :)

@actuallyautistic

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@aspiedan @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic Miéville 😉

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Do my comrades feel that they have and receive enough support in life?

What could you use?

What resources can you share with others?

@actuallyautistic

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @aspiedan @actuallyautistic comment en dire trop (ou pas assez) 😄

snoopy_jay , to actuallyautistic
@snoopy_jay@mastodon.world avatar

@actuallyautistic
What's the deal with "keen sense of justice"? I am not sure what it's called in English, but I keep reading that it's an autism thing and I definitely have been accused of an "exaggerated" sense of justice or having too much of it. Why do we have that?

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@poloniousmonk @Vincarsi @FrightenedRat @punishmenthurts @snoopy_jay @HaelusNovak @actuallyautistic if autistics disagree, chances are one of them isn’t right. Why wouldn’t it be different with bigotry?

dave , to actuallyautistic
@dave@autisticnomad.social avatar

@actuallyautistic What are your thoughts on physical activity?

More specifically, do you find that it drains your energy more than most people? That you can't push yourself as hard as others? Or, put another way, that you need more rest and recovery time than most people?

Almost two years ago, I tried Couch to 5K. I made it to week five, then burned out and stopped because it so thoroughly drained every bit of energy I had.

I remember being so puzzled and confused about it. I remember thinking, what's wrong with me? I'm eating well. I'm eating enough. I'm getting enough sleep. I'm resting on my off days. I'm not extraordinarily out of shape and I was keeping up with the program well enough until the fifth week.

In retrospect, I'm wondering if it was an Autistic energy management problem, and I'm curious about others' experiences with C25K and other physical activity programs.

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@dave @actuallyautistic I’ve had a problem with moderation in sports, hurting myself because I went all out, or simply not being able to pace myself. I’ve been more interested in accidentally finding a pleasant/aesthetic way of doing something than winning or performing “well”. After washing out or getting tired of many sports, I’ve found that swimming is really great for me.

tine_schreibt , to actuallyautistic
@tine_schreibt@literatur.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

This explains so much o.o

Does anybody else here feel the same?

https://neuroclastic.com/the-identity-theory-of-autism-how-autistic-identity-is-experienced-differently/

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@tine_schreibt @actuallyautistic makes a lot of sense, although I’m a bit wary of the Barnum effect (and generally, of the marketing of identities that is omnipresent online). That said, Ihave often felt that my position within a group should be negotiated based on its values, and that “loyalty” is conditional. But I think even allistics have a role distance, to use Ervin Goffman’s term.

Autistrain , to actuallyautistic
@Autistrain@neurodifferent.me avatar

This morning I had a thought about autism. I like to do jokes based on words or what I call situations.

These jokes can be seen as manipulative by allists. I can point out something on the person's behavior or personal aspect.

I was thinking what's behind it. My intention isn't bad and against the person. The person is like a pretext. It's to show that I appreciate the person and can relate to this person or person's experience.

The autists have this particular relationship with what they see and live. The jokes as an example are to express what I already experience in life whatever how I experience it.

It's a completely different and valid way of communicating how we experience life.

@actuallyautistic

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@Autistrain @actuallyautistic I think it’s because allistics use pointing out as a power move.

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@Autistrain @actuallyautistic whereas we use it to build, share, maintain excitement toward and engagement with the world.

ScriptFanix , to actuallyautistic French
@ScriptFanix@maly.io avatar

I'm watching the French series "Astrid et Raphaëlle". One of the main characters is severely autistic. First time I saw it I thought the autistic character was too caricatural. But watching it from the beginning a second time changed my mind. For the first time, I can fully identify to a character.
@actuallyautistic

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@ScriptFanix @actuallyautistic I didn’t know about this show. Will definitely check it out. A bit wary of ableism though (it being French). Thanks!

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Do my comrades struggle with eating too fast and taking in too much air?

@actuallyautistic

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@TzipiDee @PurpleStephyr @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic same here!

Susan60 , to actuallyautistic
@Susan60@aus.social avatar

@bike @VoxofGod @admin @neuralex @PossiblyAutistic @Jobob @roryreckons @actuallyautistic That’s where Pilates is good, for core muscles. We do it with a physio, who tailors exercises to our specific needs.

llPK , (edited )
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@Fluse @VoxofGod @Susan60 @bike @admin @neuralex @PossiblyAutistic @Jobob @roryreckons @actuallyautistic I wanna know how oxygen makes it from the skin to the bloodstream, I’m fascinated, this is wild. I hope this singer who wrote a book got the details right.

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@VoxofGod @Fluse @Susan60 @bike @admin @neuralex @PossiblyAutistic @Jobob @roryreckons @actuallyautistic I wanna know how the book explains it.

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@VoxofGod @Fluse @Susan60 @bike @admin @neuralex @PossiblyAutistic @Jobob @roryreckons @actuallyautistic so, there’s no wild stuff about breathing through the skin then? I’m a bit disappointed. Thanks anyway!

PurpleStephyr , to actuallyautistic
@PurpleStephyr@chaosfem.tw avatar

Ok, I have the contract for the new job. Why am I stuck uncertain if I want to sign it or not? I'm miserable at my current job, but my brain just keeps telling me that change is bad/scary. Why am I like this?

@actuallyautistic

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@PurpleStephyr @actuallyautistic the knee-jerk answer would be "you’ll never know everything, you have to take the risk", or "if your current position is bad, and the other hasn’t proven bad yet, despite your experience and your research, then it might be better". But my answer would be to look inward a bit, and write down potential issues (big and small) about the new job. Then figure out who you can ask about them (inside the company or not). Or sleep first 🤔

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Good morning comrades

How are you practicing self-care this Sunday?

@actuallyautistic

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic I’m in a train station. Fresh air, everyone does their thing without noticing me (or anyone else). Someone is playing droning music on a public piano. It’s very relaxing.

llPK , (edited )
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@adamswbrown @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic it was! Not living in a big city, I had forgotten how much I liked train stations.

dyani , to actuallyautistic
@dyani@social.coop avatar

Neurokin, how do you feel about video meetings vs. in-person meetings?

I find them SO much easier and less draining!

This study says we get less neuro feedback from them and I think that's why I like them.

https://neurosciencenews.com/zoom-conversations-social-neuroscience-24996/

@actuallyautistic

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@dyani @actuallyautistic you can see yourself. That’s a relief: « I’m not making a weird face »

AutisticAdam , to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

The autistic urge to spend hours deciding which music to listen to for a particular event or situation, because any music you listen to must fit your mood, the vibe, the pace, the weather and the season.

@actuallyautistic

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic I miss Spotify for this, I had folders of playlists so that it didn’t take too much time to find something that fit my mood. I also had sort of random playlists.

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

What makes my comrades ABSOLUTELY SMILE?

@actuallyautistic

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@joshsusser @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic absolutely this. For me the song in question this week is from the Australian Eurovision finalists, it’s incredibly triumphant:
https://voyager.bandcamp.com/track/gren-fearless-in-love

EmOiva , (edited ) to actuallyautistic
@EmOiva@mastodon.world avatar

Does everyone have a running commentary in their head for whatever they are doing or experiencing, or is that a neurodivergent thing?




@actuallyautistic

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@EmOiva @actuallyautistic it’s music (not from headphones) if I’m doing one thing continuously, otherwise if I need to adapt to my environment I’m basically double processing by speaking to myself, to steer myself and not look like a robot. Don’t we all do that? 😅

samiam , to actuallyautistic
@samiam@lor.sh avatar

@actuallyautistic so many thanks to those who have made feel feel heard and welcome here in the past weeks. the story thus far: 41 years of "muddling thru" depression, anxiety, misc mysterious health problems, etc when one day a new friend (very rare!) shared with me that they are autistic, and respectfully asked me if i might be too.
this [re]kindled lots of thoughts and feels and sent me down a path of recognizing and uncovering some fairly autistic-seeming traits and behaviors that i had been ignoring or suppressing. i have lately been thinking of myself as "provisionally autistic" which is how i'm trying to walk this line between, one the one hand, not mentally framing Autism As One True The Explanation For Everything and stretching things to try to force them to fit; and, on the other hand, not giving in to Autistic Imposter Syndrome. i want "provisionally autistic" to be a comfortable in-between place where i can "let myself be as autistic as i am" without "trying to be autistic when i'm not" and just observe myself and see how it goes. if that makes any sense?

but (and this is a question mainly to all you late/recent adult [self/]dx folks out there, but of course also anyone else who wants to respond):
How do you KNOW?
i'm stuck in this place where lots of things seem relatable and plausible but there is no sense of AHA IT FITS. there's no THIS FINALLY EXPLAINS IT. i know it's early for me yet -- i've been taking this seriously for weeks not years -- and i probably have to be patient with myself . . . but ggghhhghg.
maybe i'm just venting? i don't know. i'm having a day.

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@Susan60 @sfwrtr @petrichor @itsmeholland @samiam @actuallyautistic "choose your mask"

llPK ,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@Susan60 @sfwrtr @petrichor @itsmeholland @samiam @actuallyautistic yes, agreed, thinking about it more, what I actually meant was a bit less catchy, more like: "choose between these 3 or 4 masks that we made, and rest assured, none will fit quite right".

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