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@kkffoo@mastodon.social cover
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

kkffoo

@[email protected]

Currently mucking about in;

simcity 4
sims 3
sims 2
open sim
secondlife

Also doing a bit of writing (comedy)

#neurodiverse
Most likely #autistic with #adhd

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kkffoo , to actuallyautistic
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cl447njkdy6o I haven't seen this but it sounds interesting.

kkffoo , to actuallyautistic
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

I found this way of looking at autistic and allistic communication preferences quite clear and interesting. https://youtu.be/H6Wf8Q3e6lg?si=acKu3fQaGPyEy9bf
@actuallyautistic

kkffoo , to actuallyautistic
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

https://youtu.be/TbcEXnNrvIA?si=4OUS2p0vQMYYVn7o
Chimerism in developing fetuses. How we can be an amalgam of differing genes.
I have always wondered about this, feeling the pull of two opposing sets of needs and recently put it down to the adhd / autism balancing act, but who knows?
@actuallyautistic

kkffoo , to actuallyautistic
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic I have managed to get involved in a community for a particular game and not been asked to be a moderator in the social space, this is quite an achievement for my developing unmasked genuine grumpiness :)

CultureDesk , to random
@CultureDesk@flipboard.social avatar

Many children with autism thrive on routine and predictability, which can make vacations challenging for them. Here's a story from USA Today with tips on how to plan a trip, choose an airline that provides accommodations for autistic children, and details on what to expect from an autism-certified resort.

https://flip.it/IAzUn1

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@CultureDesk I wonder why the author chose that puzzle piece heart as one of the images? Maybe she doesn't know how offensive this is to some autistic people? @actuallyautistic

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@CultureDesk @actuallyautistic That's a great response, thank you!

dorgaldir , to actuallyautistic Dutch
@dorgaldir@mastodon-belgium.be avatar

I feel this so hard. Why can't people just be clear about what they want?
@actuallyautistic

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@dorgaldir @actuallyautistic ..and the students have a middle school teacher who can't frame a clear question.

kkffoo , to actuallyautistic
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

https://youtu.be/YnU01HBN6zg?si=D605asnA5zpocr88 @actuallyautistic
I found this very interesting and well balanced, a lecture about 'the changing concept of autism'.

kkffoo , to actuallyautistic
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

https://www.facebook.com/groups/thedullclub/permalink/2443494482522323/
The ultimate weighted blanket make! @actuallyautistic

kkffoo , to actuallyautistic
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic A car park that we visit regularly has a one way system marked out with painted white arrows on the road. This week I realised that I felt uncomfortable walking 'the wrong way' over the white arrow after leaving our vehicle. Has that feeling always been there and I didn't realise, or was it just a 'that day' thing? I don't know.

kkffoo , to actuallyautistic
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

For some reason I thought my @actuallyautistic co-groupies might enjoy this;
https://www.facebook.com/groups/dullmensclub/permalink/1415641495759054/

kkffoo OP ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@haui @actuallyautistic I can't keep up with too many sites unfortunately!

kkffoo , to actuallyautistic
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic do any of my autistic co-groupies have any tips for not losing weight over December / Christmas? The extra stress makes it harder to eat good portions for regular meals and my usual snack routine gets a knock too. I did manage to grab a small bowl of full fat ice-cream last night, which is not my usual supper, but seemed a reasonable compromise. Any other ideas?

StrassenKatze , to actuallyautistic
@StrassenKatze@universeodon.com avatar

I am feeling called out by the top half of this @actuallyautistic

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@gamambel @StrassenKatze @actuallyautistic It is lovely that you are enthusiastic about your new learning, but it feels like you are still processing it all, and seeing everything through that lens.

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@gamambel @StrassenKatze @actuallyautistic Ok, fair enough, I am a little lost now so I will leave it there for now.

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

what part of autism is crying when you kill a spider?

@actuallyautistic

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic Kill a spider, nooo! I could give a pass for poisonous ones, but our house spiders have names, and little homes. I was really sad when I found the husk of 'under the washing machine spider'.

kkffoo , to actuallyautistic
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic
Baking can be really good for me in terms of re-regulating myself, so long as I have enough energy. Mince pies I made this morning, photographed by my lovely daughter.

kkffoo OP ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@Susan60 @Frances_Larina @actuallyautistic Thank you!

kkffoo , to actuallyautistic
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Has anyone else experienced voice loss due to a virus, and the first stages of the voice returning speaking a monotone? (when you don't usually). This is really making me wonder if my everyday voice is masked.

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

What’s been the most important thing you’ve learned about yourself during your journey?

@actuallyautistic

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic That there are other people who, as a collective, think like me.

Susan60 , to actuallyautistic
@Susan60@aus.social avatar

Question. Some dogs can tell if a person has cancer, presumably by their smell. Does anyone think that some autistic people might be more sensitive to such changes in body chemistry? Not as much as a dog, but more than most other people? @actuallyautistic

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@Susan60 @actuallyautistic I can smell when something is cooked, like the moment cookies are just right (without opening the oven door).

MatthewKay , to actuallyautistic
@MatthewKay@musician.social avatar

@actuallyautistic I’ve only been here a day or so. Damn, what a lot of fucking drama I’m seeing. Is it always like this?

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@MatthewKay @actuallyautistic Not usually!

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

I won’t soon forget my frequent warnings about antisemitism in the community.

I won’t soon forget how many here devolved at the first chance you could to indulge in that age old vice, antisemitism.

I won’t soon forget the violent and hateful messages and dog piles I’ve been subjected to by people who used and continue to use me for my support.

Antisemitism is a cancer. It isn’t OK. It isn’t OK to be a whatabouter. It isn’t OK to deny it exists.

This isn’t hard.

@actuallyautistic

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic
It is more than ok to point out anti-semitism expressed within the autism community here is unacceptable (as it would be for someone else to point out the same about racism / misogyny or any other kind of hate speech or dismissiveness that these things exist).
I also understand people feeling triggered by conflict.
This is all about what it means to create a safe space.

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic I am so sorry that you and others have experienced this.

kkffoo , to actuallyautistic
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

Is the opposite of wholesome partsome?
My literal thinking taking over after reading that word too many times!
@actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics @neurodiversity

halfbit_ , to actuallyautistic
@halfbit_@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic When NTs completely misunderstand me, they do this by finding an alternate meaning for sentence 5, that would break sentences 2 & 4.

This never made sense to me.

When I try to understand what someone said, I iterate until finding an internally interpretation, where the complete message makes sense. Or I give up and discard the whole thing.

Theory: NTs don't do that.

1/2

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@halfbit_ @actuallyautistic I have a feeling it must be simpler than this, because NTs (like NDs) include the population subset of people who don't have the mental capacity for complexity and they still misunderstand things.

strypey , to actuallyautistic
@strypey@mastodon.nzoss.nz avatar

@I_Like_Books
> What works for me is to close the bedroom off to all or nearly all light

Same. Modern devices with LEDs that can't be turned off without turning off (or sometimes completely unplugging) the device are my kryptonite. Especially over the summer, when I stay with friends and occasionally in backpackers dorms.

I used to have a phone that would start flashing its LED once changed. Oh how I hated that flashing.

@f1337 @actuallyautistic @allautistics

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@strypey @I_Like_Books @f1337 @actuallyautistic @allautistics Those little lights, aaargh, especially if they are flashing. I resort to elastic bands round the device and shoving them behind something. Of course you can't do this with other people's stuff!!

AutisticAdam , to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

Many autistic people struggle with “multiple choice” and “select the right answer” exam questions. A key reason for this is that the options available can feel - to our brains - like such vague simplifications or awkwardly worded answers that they all feel somewhat incorrect. 1/2

@actuallyautistic

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@Susan60 @wilbr @ckent @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic The safety valve in this is that even going full out helicopter parent can't protect your children from everything. Life happens.

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@Susan60 @wilbr @ckent @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic I think you have to factor in the different timelines of development of ND vs. NT kids though. The support needs to be child appropriate, not some arbitary standard based on general population.

Private
kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@CynAq @thequirkybraincoach @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd I am glad this post generated a discussion as it gives me more context. I read your (CynAq) reply this morning and it didn't sit well with me because of the sarcasm (or at least I perceived sarcasm) which read as anger directed towards the OP.

Dr_Obvious , to actuallyautistic German
@Dr_Obvious@chaos.social avatar

@actuallyautistic
I've read autists don't understand proverbs and take them to literally. I wonder if this is actually an accurate description.
Some days ago I read somebody here stating something like the one eyed under the blind would've been put in an asylum. Brilliant!
In germany we have the proverb, everybody is the smith of their own luck. I like to answer, but not everybody got an anvil.

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@Dr_Obvious @actuallyautistic It is as if they are not in my native language, so I understand them, and use them sometimes, but there is a small delay for 'translation'.

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@Dr_Obvious @actuallyautistic Yes like that! Sometimes, when my mental energy is good the translation time is very short and I won't notice it as much, the opposite case is of course geting completely stuck. Most cases are in the middle of these two extremes.

26pglt , (edited ) to actuallyadhd
@26pglt@mastodon.au avatar

What would a checklist assessment for autism look like if it was based on how autistic people experience ourselves? This research team did a study to find out.

Interesting reading for all my & pals. @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/full/10.1089/aut.2021.0099?utm_campaign=AUT+FP+October+17%2C+2023&utm_content=Article3-OA&utm_term=&utm_medium=email&utm_source=Adestra

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@26pglt @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd
This is so needed!

kkffoo , to actuallyautistic
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Does anyone know of a (non-ableist) resource which collates the potential developmental paths of a ND infant? I know this is going to vary from child to child, but the stuff I am finding is all about comparing kids to 'normal' NT children, and very much from the perspective of a NT adult observing children.

kkffoo OP ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@ShinyAmygdala @actuallyautistic Yes!

ScruffyDux , to actuallyautistic
@ScruffyDux@fosstodon.org avatar

@actuallyautistic I often feel my proximity to meltdown is proportionate to my junk food craving.

Anyone else have the same thing?

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@ScruffyDux @actuallyautistic I do the opposite, can't eat, but it is a really interesting insight into someone else i know, thank you!

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

How do my comrades slow down their thoughts?

@actuallyautistic

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic Cooking, chopping up vegetables and so on.

eo , to actuallyautistic
@eo@dads.cool avatar

I wonder if there is any research on children of autistic parents, both autistic and not. It would be a touchy subject to pry open, from several perspectives on ethics. But I am both an autistic father and a son of an autistic father, so… I've been wondering.
@actuallyautistic

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@eo @actuallyautistic This seems so strange to me, as an autistic mother, grandmother, and daughter of a feisty, most likely autistic great-grandmother. This environment is my life!
Plus I see posts all the time in various groups I belong to about the challenges of autistic parenting. It is as if the researchers are going around with paper bags on their heads not noticing things.

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

As many of you here, and as all of you who have met or worked with me, know, I am an Israeli.

I’m also a life long peace activist for Israel-Palestine.

Unfortunately, MANY of you have taken the last few days to attack me, call me a murderer, lecture me about the world I grew up and lived in for 35+ years of my life, dare to speak down to me and over me, erase my history and lifelong dedication for Palestinian rights, and even wished me to die.

Others of you have taken the opportunity to call me an antisemite, a race traitor, a horrible person, a hypocrite, a terrorist, and erase my history and lifelong dedication to Jewish life and making Israel a better place to live.

Yet, VERY FEW of you have asked how I am. How is my family? How are my friends? How are YOU?

Well, no. I have my family & friends in deep crisis. Many have lost their own other family and friends, parents, siblings, kids and lovers - some by bullets, others by fire, others by kidnapping. A comrade of mine lost his parents. An other had their 16 year old son taken into Gaza. Too many people I know or am connected to have been murdered or taken. And I use the word murder, not killed, because sleeping civilians in their home or at a party are not military combattants. Babies aren’t targets.

I also have Palestinian friends who have lost families in Gaza from the bombs currently falling from IDF planes. My heart aches for them too as theirs does for me.

But many of you only care about death when one side fits your own narrative and unformed and ignorant beliefs.

So no, I’m not OK. I’m not OK at all.

Keep reading in the next post

@actuallyautistic @mazeldon

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic @mazeldon I am so sorry that you have suffered the double injury of a war and bigotry.

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

How long does it take my comrades to do a full laundry cycle? From putting to hamper to washer to dryer/to drying rack to folding to cupboard.

@actuallyautistic

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@Aerliss @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic This sounds efficient to me! We have more people in the house including a part-time baby, so drying washing is an endless cycle!

kkffoo , to actuallyautistic
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Is this what it is like to be neurotypical? Finishing the game early and wondering what to do next. https://www.reddit.com/r/Britain/comments/1736t9b/what_even_is_there_in_life_once_its_all/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

AutisticAdam , to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

I'm autistic, so I guess it's natural that I will never, ever be able to understand exactly when is the correct time to add my point to a group conversation.

Watching the conversation move onto a totally different topic, while a really good point is left unsaid, is a very specific autistic sadness.

@actuallyautistic

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@silverhuang @sentient_water @markusl @Susan60 @jyrgenn @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic Good thinking!

raantuva , to actuallyautistic
@raantuva@turtleisland.social avatar

How to make and keep neurotypical friends as an Autist? Any ideas? I feel the lack of neurotypicals in my life is doing me harm. @actuallyautistic

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@raantuva @actuallyautistic I feel that this could make an excellent book. "How to care for your neurotypical friends" with a quick reference index and troubleshooting section. I picture it with a cartoon image on the cover of an NT in a flower pot and a worried ND sprinkling the friend with a watering can and thought bubble that says "too much, not enough how can I tell?"

kkffoo , (edited ) to actuallyautistic
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Holding long term, and sometimes irrational grudges which are hard to shift. Is this more likely for autistic folks?
Example: I have never forgiven Disney for turning a well loved, quirky, gentle, humerous and very english 'Winnie-the-Pooh' into some alien, creepy old man character in their early movies. Today I refuse to buy Disney themed items for my granddaughter because of that childhood upset. I still feel upset thinking about it today! It was as if they had murdered him.

StevenSaus , to actuallyautistic

@autisticadvocacy
@actuallyautistic

Accommodation Or Abuse: The False Choice Managers Have With Employees

Do you want to be a leader or manager who actually works with your neurodivergent employees, or do you want to create a hostile, toxic, and inefficient work environment because of the fragility of your ego?

https://ideatrash.net/2023/09/accommodation-or-abuse-the-false-choice-managers-have-with-neurospicy-employees.html

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@StevenSaus @autisticadvocacy @actuallyautistic
..because running an efficeint business for the collective good comes in second place to wedging oneself into the structure and not being shown up for any perceived deficiencies.

obrerx , to actuallyautistic
@obrerx@neurodifferent.me avatar

In light of recent events here, it's clear Mastodon is a wild social world for me.

It's not as toxic as twitter, nor as hierarchical, nor as profit driven.

But it can be toxic here. It can be confusing. It can be triggering. It is in some ways like other social media including twitter.

It IS amazingly easy to be misunderstood here. To be misread.

And I've been misread my entire life. I've experienced trauma as an autistic child. PTSD. c-PTSD. I don't deal with toxicity well.

Too much conflict is confusing to me. Too many different personalities all chiming in at once confuses me.

[Note to self: it's not a crime to explain the history of a hashtag.]


(this tag includes self-assessed autistics, and is meant to create spaces for autistic discussion)



@actuallyautistic
@allautistics

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@obrerx @actuallyautistic @allautistics I'm sorry that happened for you. There is so much of value here it is a shame to miss out. Any merit in taking a break and coming back?

AutisticAdam , to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

Autistic people are often criticised for “reading too much into things” and “assuming” the worst, but usually what we deduce is highly accurate, thanks to our pattern-spotting and dot-connecting abilities. I think the real issue is we typically unearth truths others want to remain hidden.

@actuallyautistic

kkffoo ,
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

@Vincarsi @hollybrigstocke @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic That was such a gentle response, I can't make it sound rude no matter how I look at it!

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