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RBWells

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RBWells ,

Kids for me. They have improved my life more than anything else. Having the first two pushed me to go back to school and get a real job. I got more when my ex & I split and I married a guy with kids; we have a staggering number between us, most were teens or older when we got together and they are all close now, so they have a network of family to help and socialize with. The youngest is almost done with high school so we are in the final stretch of having them at home. The Thanksgiving feast here is insane, so many people, chaotic and fun.

Now - having said all that, I always knew I wanted kids, not necessarily to birth them but to raise them. Babies are adorable , little kids blistering cute, teenagers so much fun and occasionally helpful, and then they grow up and are actual people. It is work I find fulfilling and it helps the world to have educated, sensible, open-minded people. Most of my kids don’t want kids themselves and that’s fine! Everyone has their own life to live.

So for me, kids. For you, whatever you want, I don’t think it’s essential to become an adult and don’t think it’s the only way to get a family either.

RBWells ,

My mom said once that if everyone waited until their life was perfect to have a kid, that was the end of humanity. There is never a perfect time.

RBWells ,

Oh my God I would never want to BE a kid again, it was a nightmare. But my kids say they enjoyed it ok, and weren’t as uncomfortable as I was. Maybe it skips a generation.

RBWells ,

I don’t remember my mom being motherly, and asked her about it once. She said “I don’t like kids.” I said"but you have so many kids!" And her reply?

“Well, I like you all now, I knew you would grow up, kids don’t stay kids, they grow into people.”

Good on you, live your life on your terms!

RBWells ,

I had two terrible toddlers, but once they were kids they were cool. Two who I guess will get a midlife crisis, because they never caused trouble as kids or teens. The rest I got when they were teens or older and while not all of them (bio or other) were academic superstars or high performing athletes or anything, they were all reasonable and interesting and diverse people by teenage years.

RBWells ,

Water with electrolytes? I got unflavored electrolyte drops for times I fast, and for my kid who has to do band camp in the summer here. You can get flavored ones too, I don’t like them. Dilute them more than the bottle says to, sometimes a splash of lemon.

Topo Chico and orange juice is great, if you are just looking for something that tastes good.

Ask your doctor if it’s safe for you to take creatine, that certainly helps muscles retain water.

RBWells ,

This hasn’t happened for me in the last 35 years, but if I am, say, on vacation? I like to read books, exercise, eat at restaurants.

If you are feeling isolated, it’s really good to go get coffee at the same place everyday. We tend to discount the value of weak social connections, but they are the glue that holds humanity together.

RBWells ,

I miss the non-porn nudes threads, Normalnudes and NakedProgress, the ones with an “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything” policy where people of all body types could show their shape and/or their fitness progress.

RBWells ,

I hate ketchup as a sauce or spread, don’t mind it as an ingredient but it’s way too fucking sweet to put on anything.

Mayonnaise for sandwiches, with mustard or horseradish.

Hot sauce for eggs, beans or French fries (chips) . The salsa yucateca if I want hot without sour, Tabasco if I want sour; hot chili garlic paste if I want flavor bomb.

RBWells ,

I don’t think it needs one, and no idea if you mean existence of everything, or a single human life. But for my single human life my goal is to enjoy being physically embodied while I am, experience things using this body and its built-in equipment. All the things that will be impossible to do once dead, all the stuff you couldn’t do before you were born. See things, move, dance, read, fuck, eat, hurt, feel everything. Think about things. Now while I am alive in a body that can do all that stuff.

RBWells ,

Glad to meet you, Mr. Morningstar and I guess you’d be an authority on this. I agree, consciousness is the universe experiencing itself. And no, I don’t need a favor, thanks!

RBWells ,

And lot size in football fields, a 1500 square foot 3 bed 2 bath on 1/4 of a football field.

How many people actually want fully on-site IT jobs?

I’ve been looking for a new job as a software developer. The huge majority of job listings I see in my area are hybrid or remote. I just had an introductory phone call with Vizio (which didn’t specify the location type in the job listing). The recruiter told me that the job was fully on-site, which I told her was a deal...

RBWells ,

I think I may be the only person on the face of the earth with no preference on this. My commute is immaterial, the office about 2k away, working from home is kind of a drag but I don’t have to get dressed and can keep the household going (which is part of why it’s a drag) online meetings suck even more than in person meetings, otherwise fine to work remotely. So when we were working from home, I was fine with it, then hybrid I thought would be the worst of all, no, it was fine. Now they say come in at least 3 days, I am going to put away the home workstation and just work at the office, reclaim the space at home, that’s fine too. It’s pretty much the same job either way.

What mundane things of our era could be seen as beautiful or admirable in the future?

For example, buildings and houses more than a hundred years old keep getting more and more rare, and often have an aesthetic that stands out, more ornate or with a particular style that most people can’t afford today or that is not financially convenient etc. But back in the day, that’s how things were built and most people...

RBWells ,

I think probably yes; there are lovely housewares and glassware being made now, bottles for wines and liquors are not standard and some are really pretty, also a lot of the kitchen appliances currently have pretty nice design.

RBWells ,

I lift weights at home (husband accumulated a set of bars and plates and dumbbells before we got together), it’s not my main workout but deadlifts are the only lift I actually honest to God enjoy. And it helps a lot with yoga.

RBWells ,

I scale the weight up as I do other things, start with unloaded 30lb bar, adding 10lb for sets of 10 until I can do only 5 reps then stop. Most stuff (curls, etc) I cannot do much weight so each exercise I drop off as I cannot do, towards the end it’s literally just deadlifts, add weight, more deadlifts.

RBWells ,

30 is too old to date a girl, yes. Not too old to date a woman though.

RBWells ,

Wouldn’t you know that, then?

RBWells ,

I am an accountant and cannot even begin to count the number of people who asked me to do their taxes. I do not do tax accounting, never have, it’s a whole separate department where I work, and at every job I’ve worked. I’m not sure the tax people even think of themselves as accountants.

RBWells ,

I am in sports now, we are international but employ consultants for international tax stuff. It’s way too complicated. Our internal tax department does do some of the financial planning, yes, tax minimizing schemes as you say, working with the legal department. They also do some general reconciling of the tax liability accounts, sales tax and VAT on merch, that part is accounting but the planning stuff is more like legal work than finance.

RBWells ,

I do call my small basket of individual stocks gambling (it is a couple hundred bucks, loses value overall, just like gambling) and the 401k I call “investing”.

I do think investing in general is speculative though, so yeah I consider it gambling. Not bonds, but stocks yes.

RBWells ,

Tylenol (paracetamol).

Literally never does anything but make me feel slightly poisoned, and there is still no clear explanation of how it “works”.

RBWells ,

I called my standing desk a dancing desk. Didn’t just stand there. I don’t have one now we are back in the office though, some people do but they are all short - I’m taller and it seems too odd to be looking into everyone’s workspace.

RBWells ,

medicine.tufts.edu/…/how-does-acetaminophen-work

Has there been progress since 2022 on figuring out its pain killing mechanism? If it just didn’t work for headaches I would understand, mine are migraine and no painkillers work for those, but it has not worked on anything I tried it for, I gave up years ago. It’s not even that safe, I don’t understand why it’s still around.

Is someone safe if they report income from illegal means to the IRS?

I have seen multiple times on Lemmy that the IRS wants people to report income from illegal means and that they don’t care to bust someone for it. For example, an illicit drug dealer is expected by the IRS to report their drug sale revenue without having to worry about being caught for drug dealing....

RBWells ,

It’s more like if you get caught making money illegally and haven’t paid taxes on it, you are also in trouble for tax fraud on top of your other trouble.

RBWells ,

I think there should be pedestrian, bike routes separate from cars, like storefronts should face both ways, and the intersections with signals, but where practical should have bridges for the walkers, so they don’t have to deal with the cars.

I also really want replicator tech, want to be able to use any input to get basically any output, at least in terms of materials. Throw in the trash, it is sorted into its component elements (safely) and then those can be combined to make clean water, salt water, building materials, whatever.

I want also a floor and walls that eat the dirt, and clothing fabric that can cool even in humidity.

RBWells ,

I do love Chris Evans as Captain America though. His expression of slight disapproval throughout the films is fantastic.

RBWells ,

The Storm X-Men one was pretty bad. And so disappointing because I love the character.

Best ones I think are the second X-Men, Logan, and Into the Spiderverse.

RBWells ,

Large body dominance is different from fine motor handedness, write with right hand but stronger left side, cartwheel left hand first. Or vice versa. It is interesting as heck.

RBWells ,

Twelve is such a great number. So divisible.

RBWells ,

You must not have dry hands. That step #3 should be:

Stand there rubbing on the bag with nothing happening, hand bag to husband or go over to the lettuce section and touch the ice then open the bag.

Most stuff I just toss in the cart with no plastic bag, but like to have a few for the refrigerator, they are useful.

RBWells ,

You are showing them backwards - the NEW formulation is the one that says vegan. Did you buy the second one at Big Lots or something?

RBWells ,

The long arm of the paw!

RBWells ,

Garden, fuck, go to the beach, read, dance, cook and ferment, hang out with people. Probably still work some for money if I needed it to buy stuff like drinks or an e-bike, or to travel, I’m sure we’d still have a money economy of some sort. Same stuff I’d do if I could afford to retire. If I was a few years younger, would foster a kid or two.

Oh, and I’m sure I could live a full and healthy life without paid employment, myself.

RBWells ,

I agree with this. It takes me weeks, if not months, to really unwind.

RBWells ,

Other people seem to think so, but I am not any nicer on the outside than on the inside, not unfailingly polite and certainly get defensive sometimes.

So I am going to say yes because what’s on the outside is what I feel in the inside, and people think I am nice.

RBWells ,

And when you get to the end, start looking for the opening and merge, don’t slow down or gun it and try to get ahead of five more cars.

RBWells ,

Hmm. I am not convinced I can be much happier for $15 but a coffee for me, split a breakfast sandwich with my husband in the little Cuban cafe near me. Or buy gas and a diet coke and go by myself, alone, to the beach, that is such a relaxing activity.

RBWells ,

Personal computer? Windows 3, I believe, but worked on computer earlier than that by a couple of years - I’m not sure what OS, it was maintained by this old guy named, no kidding, Mr. Fox. Had a rudimentary spreadsheet program.

RBWells ,

Ramsay Midwood

J Roddy Walton and the Business

RBWells ,

My kids taught me to look at subscriber counts on a streaming service to measure popularity, I go to a lot of live shows and kept getting surprised at which bands were popular or unknown, don’t have a good handle on it. So that’s generally what I do now.

RBWells ,

My mom kept up with her friends from high school and college until she or they died, I cannot.

My dad was ridiculously smart, like could learn anything, keep a lot of knowledge in his head, could look at any idea and really consider it without believing or reacting to it, if that makes sense. I don’t have the same fearlessness.

RBWells ,

Not damage but the most entertaining, terrifying, and educational event - I made a mango soda, fermented it with some ginger beer and it was lazy getting fizzy so I bottled, refrigerated and promptly forgot about it. Found it a few weeks later and figured since it wasn’t fizzy ok to open.

Mango soda on the floor, walls, ceiling of three adjacent rooms. It exploded up but did not break the glass bottle. The second one I opened outside facing away from me and got to taste the small amount that remained in the bottle - probably the best drink I have ever made, all lost due to my negligence.

Who would win: every human in the world vs. every animal in the world?

I’m thinking the animals would easily defeat us, since trying to get all 8 billion+ humans to agree on a plan of attack would be a near-impossible task. By the time we’d be done trying to coordinate a plan, I figure the lions and cheetahs would have already devoured us, not to mention the larger animals like the elephants....

RBWells ,

Killing all the animals would kill us, so we die either way; I don’t think killing all the humans would have a negative effect on animal life.

So I am thinking the animals probably win. Certainly if they can strategize. But either way we lose.

Summer is the worst season of the year, isn't?

The sun sucks, being forced to shower like every 4 hours just to not feeling sweaty, the fucking mosquitoes, the fact you can’t wear anything that you want anymore due the heat, the people outside… The fucking beach. I try to avoid it… The fucking sand, not a fan of it. Is scratchy, harsh, annoying and it infiltrates in...

RBWells , (edited )

It doesn’t work that way for me. I have been so cold that clothing didn’t make me not cold. Even here where it rarely ever gets to freezing. Hot weather, I can slow down, sitting still in the shade with a breeze I can be comfortable from 90F to about 100F. Don’t know about hotter, we haven’t reached it yet.

I don’t try to do work outside when it’s that hot. If daytime event in the sun - hat or visor, long sleeved loose linen shirt and pants, and oddly enough, Merino wool thong and socks are often more comfortable than anything else.

Hot yoga is 90-103 so I guess I can also move in the heat without freaking out but they manage the humidity, it’s different from outside. And I sweat a lot in those classes.

Any of these I prefer to being cold, cannot get warm. Maybe I need to talk to Wim Hof, but it seems better to be tolerant of heat, than cold.

RBWells ,

Yeah you have to manage your expectations and also close the shades. But if you are coming in from the heat, the house will feel cool even if it’s not cold. Usually with a heat pump (and older not so insulated house) we can comfortably get up to about 20f lower than outside, set it at 78 in summer and it works ok, still seems to manage the humidity inside too.

When did you know a career was either the perfect or the worst match for your personality?

I’m trying to give someone advice on choosing a career that will suit them better than the one they’re in and hate. I wanted to get together a list of good questions for them to ask themselves so they can use the answers to compare options like “do you prefer to work sitting or moving around,” “do you want to not work...

RBWells ,

Well certainly not the career aptitude testing in high school, which put me in ministry (the religious kind), philosophy, or military.

I was a cashier at a bunch of places and kept ending up working in the back office, then developing ways to do the bookkeeping on the computer (this was so long ago they were using paper ledgers). I did accounting systems for years, but doing accounting now, with coworkers I like.

I would not call it a passion but an aptitude. And as my former boss says - so much better to have a job you don’t love with great coworkers, than a job you enjoy with people you don’t.

RBWells ,

Have you seen a neurologist or headache specialist or only a GP? If there is a cause maybe it can be treated and you can find relief. I do get migraines, but not every day, not even every week. My other guess is allergies, but in any event, keep a good record of what you are doing and feeling, and bring the information to a doctor! I don’t think it’s wrong at all to post and ask though, you get more ideas and that will help.

Running doesn’t help me as much as a vigorous yoga class, the “flow” kind that is more athletic and movement based, then moves to static poses at the end. Or dancing, that works too. The cycling sounds like enough, honestly, anything that is regular and kind of exhausting, will relax your mind.

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