GinevraCat

pathfinder , 15 days ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic

Many things to do with being #neurodivergent and autistic are far more nuanced and individual than are sometimes given credit. Masking seems to me to be one of those.

Most of us learnt to mask at a very early age and not just for laughs and giggles. It was to protect ourselves from simply being different in a world that barely tolerated it. And let's face facts, children, bless their little cotton socks, are all too often the absolute worst at this. It was also a way of being seen and acknowledged, when just being ourselves never seemed to work. A way of learning how to communicate with those around us, in ways that they expected and could understand.

In fact, in many ways there has always been a deeply practical and functional element to masking. Like foreigners learning the language and customs of their new home, it allowed us to exist and in many ways flourish in this strange land we found ourselves in. For many of us, and perhaps especially those of us who are late diagnosed, the degree to which we could make the mask work for us, was often the key to how we managed to shape our lives and also perhaps how we could stay below the radar for so long.

It's why sometimes we resist when we hear the calls to unmask and how important it is to do this. The endless YouTube programmes and books dedicated to this. Because, for us, our mask was a functional necessity and perhaps still is. And for some us, perhaps because we've been doing it for so long and found a way of doing it that isn't that difficult, it's hard to see why masking is so wrong, or how we can really live without it.

But that is because it sometimes takes a while to see the damage it does. To our mental and physical health, through the stress and anxiety and sheer amount of energy it requires. But also to our sense of self. We are always behind the mirror we are showing the world. Never seen, never interacted with. It is not us who receives the praise, or respect, or even the love. Our confidence never grows, our worth is never nurtured and neither is our self-esteem.

This is the balance of masking. The good it can do, for some of us at least, against the harm it does. The practical over the necessary for growing and truly nurturing ourselves. And the answer to mask, or not mask, is rarely binary. It's often about finding the balance between the two in terms of our needs and duties, safety and comfort. And always it's a choice we have to make. A balance that can only work for us.

#Autism
#ActuallyAutistic

dramypsyd , 1 month ago to actuallyautistic

Have any of my #ActuallyAutistic people ever done an EEG? I'm reading about how those can be used for diagnostic purposes and though I'm already diagnosed, I'm intrigued and kind of want to see what it says about my brain.

@actuallyautistic

mariyadelano , 2 months ago to actuallyadhd

Question for fellow @actuallyautistic and @actuallyadhd neurodivergent folks:

How do you explain your ideas to neurotypicals?

I constantly struggle because my brain has made connections that are not obvious to others, and when I try to guide them through my thinking I confuse them with details or by skipping explanations that seem obvious to me but completely surprising to anyone else.

Frameworks, links, anything is appreciated!

samantha , 2 months ago to actuallyautistic

Since it comes up with some frequency on autistic social media, I wanted to share my experience with noise cancelling headphones as an noise sensitive autistic person with auditory processing issues. As always, this is just my experience.

I tried writing it for a Mastodon post, but it got way to long... so I ended up dumping it on my blog instead.

If you have any questions etc. do feel free to share.

https://hiiamsamantha.xyz/posts/2024/05/my-headphone-usage/

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

JeremyMallin , 4 months ago to actuallyautistic

Apparently, rewatching television shows and movies a million times is an autism thing.

That's me. 🙋‍♂️
#ActuallyAutistic
@actuallyautistic

Tim_McTuffty , 4 months ago to actuallyautistic

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 132 , Friday 08/03/2024

TL:DR Walking is on the way to becoming a daily thing. I realised today that folks I have told about being ASD are avoiding me !

Overslept this morning , managed to catch herself in passing as she left the house to go to the office.
Is it the sign of a healthy relationship that we see each other for about 3 hours a day, even when she’s working from home.

Went for a walk again today - got a new ‘short’ route to go fwd with. At 2.5km - about 4500 steps - it’s not dead long but there is a mix of terrain & some steep bits so it’s not a bad route at all. It should be fairly picturesque in the right conditions (so long as I look away from the new new housing estate! )

I have discovered something disconcerting, not upsetting per-se but defo disconcerting.
With the exception of the lovely Peeps on Mastodon, most of the older people I have told about my ASD have not been in touch since I told them.

I know a number of people on here are actively resisting assessment because of the fear of stigmatism but that has never been a problem for me (& still isn’t ). I am surprised at the fact that (in the case of my Uncle & Aunt & my Dad) folks that have known me literally all my life now want even less to do with me than they did before.

I’m a loner, always have been (with the exception of herself) , so never been that close to my family , certainly not since I moved away from my parents, but to not hear from any of the seniors (or indeed my friend across the road , who I told a few weeks ago) is, as I say, disconcerting.

Despite others reactions I am steadfast in my resolve to get a proper diagnostic assessment ,I NEED to know . Bollocks to what others think. If they think that I am suddenly different because I know why I am the way I am then that is on them!

Watched ‘The Godfather’ for the very first time (yes I know ! ) I can see why it is something of a cult movie.
Got Parts 2 & 3 on my movie radar.

Managed to squeeze in an hour or so of NMS in, wanted to finish Phase 2 of the rerun of Omega but got distracted , so I now have objectives in every phase complete , but only phase 1 completely finished.

Watching ‘Silent Witness’ with the help of a couple of pints of cider & a pizza.

Final Thoughts:

We like to think that 2024 western civilisation has reached the point where things like mental health stigmatisation are in the past. Sadly this is not the case.

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #TheMammutMoves

olena , 7 months ago to random

Which flavor of #neurodivergent is inability to feel belonging to any group? I think, I finally got why I don’t get that #gender thing. Basically, a gender is just another cohort, with some assumed properties. A group one feels belonging to. And I have never felt as a part of any group. I never fit in. Each cohort is supposed to have certain properties, and I just never have all. I just feel like impostor in any, including any gender/sexuality groups, including #agender #queer #nd #AuDHD

theautisticcoach , 8 months ago to actuallyautistic

Do you use the word "Neurodivergent"?

Why or why not?

Do you think it's ableist?

If you don't use it, what word do you use?

#ActuallyAutistic #AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic

AutisticAdam , 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

When people invite you to dinner/movie.. the chances are the activity is just an excuse to meet up and the real objective is to socialise. I find this endearing, for years I didn’t know this.

I used to automatically assume that the suggested activity was the main purpose of a meet-up. I thought an invitation to dinner meant that the predominant point of focus was the FOOD, or an invitation to watch a movie meant the MOVIE was the centrepiece of the night.

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic

AutisticAdam , 9 months ago (edited 8 months ago) to actuallyautistic

"You can’t be autistic - you can make eye contact!”

Being autistic doesn’t mean I can’t make eye contact, rather that eye contact can be painful and overstimulating for me. Yet, I make it because I have to. If I didn’t, many would be hurt/angry, and I’d face further ostracism. Thanks for your pointless comment anyway from someone that clearly doesn't know what you're talking about.

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic

joshsusser , 1 year ago to actuallyautistic

Random Public Service Announcement: The #ActuallyAutistic hashtag means the author of the post containing that hashtag is an actually autistic person, as opposed to a relative, caregiver, or practitioner who is not autistic. It came about because autism-adjacent folks kept speaking over us, and we needed a way to identify when an autistic person was speaking for themself. The hashtag says nothing about whether someone has an official diagnosis, only about whether they identify as autistic. It is not correct for an allistic (non-autistic) person to use the #ActuallyAutistic hashtag to describe an autistic person - #autistic is a perfectly cromulent hashtag for that.
@actuallyautistic