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@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot cover
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

FrightenedRat

@[email protected]

❤️: #Art #History #Literature #Philosophy #CognitiveScience #Theatre #TTRPG #Wikipedia

☠️ Worried about: #Climate & #Disinformation

🎧: #PhilipGlass #ContemporaryClassical #PostMinimalism #FilmMusic

🐙 Oddly drawn to: #Daleks & #Cthulhu

👻 #AmWriting a novel - or trying to 👁
#SpeculativeFiction #SciFi #Fantasy #Writing

🐀 #SerialEnthusiast & #ActuallyAutistic 🐜

👽 She/Her :flag_ace: 🤖

🍃 #SocialJustice #Green #MMT #ScottishIndependence #Internationalism #Scotland #ScotPol #RejoinEU

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nddev , to actuallyautistic
@nddev@c.im avatar

An explanation for your friends and loved ones of why people can't find things and what they can do to help us:

https://www.thearticulateautistic.com/why-your-autistic-loved-one-cant-find-objects-right-in-front-of-them/

@actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@nddev @actuallyautistic
I'm confused - I also don't register what's in front of me, but thought that meant I was hypo rather than hyper visual. But maybe the hypo visual presentation is a defence to limit overload.

They say: when they see a cluttered desk they don't see the individual items but The Amorphous Blob of One Thing. Can someone confirm that some humans DO see multiple items simultaneously? Seems unlikely - isn't focussed vision like a narrow torch beam sequentially switching locus?

alexisbushnell , to actuallyautistic
@alexisbushnell@toot.wales avatar

Fellow @actuallyautistic folks, what are your experiences with and feelings about smart watches?

I realise that's a very broad question but I don't want to skew the replies by sharing my experience and why I'm asking!

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@alexisbushnell @actuallyautistic
I ❤️ my cheapo Android watch as it lets me go on runs & walks without taking a phone or credit card. It has a GPS & I can put mp3s + audio books on it. Then use NFS/Google Wallet to pay for stuff at the shops on the way home.

For me knowing the distance & speed I was managing daily was motivating to do more.

I put QR codes for cinema/coach tickets etc on it - so I don't need to faff around digging my phone out of a backpack or even bring it at all.

Mux , to actuallyautistic
@Mux@swingset.social avatar

@actuallyautistic
I often hear about temperature dysregulation, but I don't think I experience that myself. Rather, I experience sensory sensitivity to heat.

I was wondering how this manifests in the community. Are you sensitive to cold? To heat? To dryness? Humidity? Or are you generally dysregulated? And what does that mean for you?

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@Mux @actuallyautistic

I have a TINY range for hot/cold comfort - I shiver in temperatures most people find comfortable, but when I stop feeling too cold I almost immediately transition into too darned hot.

Slightly too cold: PAIN & misery.

Slightly too hot: zombifying suffocation.

If my head gets too hot I faint.

FrightenedRat , to actuallyautistic
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

Any views on the cinema experience for people?

I'd quite like to see Dune II on a big screen, but I'm a bit scared of the overwhelm.

Usually it's only sound overwhelm that affects me & I'm okay with the visuals on regular screens showing 2D films (though I don't get on well with 3D). So I'm hopeful the extra screen space wouldn't have too much of an impact.

But than, also, is it worth the extra money?

@actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat OP ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@actuallyautistic

It turns out the Odeon iSense cinema experience is NOT something I can cope with - even with Loop Engage earplugs the noise was utterly overwhelming. Particularly the deep bass rumble vibrating right through my whole body & the cinema seat.

My face kept involuntarily twisting into extraordinarily exaggerated expressions of terror & distress that I had no idea I was capable of. But I only cried once & managed to stay seated.

Why is it legal to play sound as loud as that?

dave , to actuallyautistic
@dave@autisticnomad.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

What do the terms "hyperfixation" and "hyperfocus" mean to you?

I've seen these terms used interchangeably. I'm writing a blog post about hyperfixation coping strategies, and I want to make sure I'm clear on how I'm using these terms.

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@dave @actuallyautistic

I'd say hyper focus is where nothing can get in the way of what we want to pay attention to.

And hyperfixation is when we can't drag our attention away from something.

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@dave @actuallyautistic
I'm not sure the duration is relevant, it's more about intensity & choice.

Coding I can hyperfocus for weeks with the bare minimum of sleep/food/toilet breaks. But crucially, it's what I choose to be doing. I may feel bad about skipping things lower on the priority list, but, hey, at that moment, they are lower.

Hyper-fixation - I just can't get something out of my head. It may stop me doing my job. It may be negative priority: like a vampire counting spilt seeds.

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@dave @actuallyautistic

But I think there is also overlap - because sometimes there's something you've been doing as a seemingly voluntary high-priority project but you gradually feel yourself coming out of that mindset & starting to wonder why it all seemed so important & necessary, but even then, you may still have a need to complete it.

I don't believe there's a clear cut line between choices and compulsions. But the distinction does work sometimes.

vger , to actuallyautistic
@vger@social.daemonlair.org avatar

I think I'm done with watching real competitive team sports. I've always had problems with excitement when watching my favorite team play. I've watched yesterdays super bowl, my team being the 49ers. My heart was racing the whole game and it was impossible for me to control my temper in any way, I was stimming like crazy the whole time. Regardless of my team losing, I did not get anything positive out of that experience. I just felt miserable the whole game.

@actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@vger @actuallyautistic

Sorry it was a bad experience. You aren't alone:

My guy was a lifelong fan of an English football team - had all the merch, knew all the facts, agonized over games - then one day turned round & said it was all too stressful.

Now, in a characteristicly inflexible all-or-nothing response, not only does he NOT follow the team, he AVOIDS hearing anything at all about football.

I'm not suggesting you be as rigid as him, but I hope you feel free to do what's right for you.

sebwhatever , to actuallyautistic
@sebwhatever@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

What's the last good book you've read?

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@Aerliss @sebwhatever @actuallyautistic

The Overstory by Richard Powers - it begins with the roots of separate stories about humans & their connections to trees, then those stories grow together & intertwine into a novel.

It's a concept book with an ecological message & crammed with interesting facts & observations, but it's also strong on human psychology. For me it was a page turner too.

Plus lots of the characters are coded .

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Overstory

StrassenKatze , to actuallyautistic
@StrassenKatze@universeodon.com avatar

So, my office made attendance mandatory once a week, starting today. I've been here for 1,5 hrs and have already cried, bitten a hole into my stress relief chew toy, and stuffed my face with two bags of Haribo. I can't fucking do this, someone get me out of here please 😭 @actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@nddev @johne @StrassenKatze @actuallyautistic

Well done for resisting!

How do you go about getting your antibodies tested in the UK - is it a referral from your GP to the NHS?

eo , to actuallyautistic
@eo@dads.cool avatar

@actuallyautistic do you have a pair of headphones that you love?
Whether or not you consider yourself an audiophile.

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@Susan60 @Tiffany @eo @actuallyautistic

Anything in or on my ears hurts, but I needed plugs for an event. Tried Loops: XS size wasn't too horrific in Left ear, but had to buy XXS tips for Right. It's ok but for BRIEF periods only.

Worst part now is the outer ring: too big & sore. So maybe for in-ear buds my issue is size. Or maybe the pain of the outer distracts me from the inner.

Finding external phones that don't press my skull is a problem.

Don't know why I'm XL for a hat & XXS for ears!

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@Susan60 @Tiffany @eo @actuallyautistic

Yes - just realised that after posting - need XXS for something on the inside and XL for something on the outside - because basically I don't want anything touching me. Lol.

But no, I didn't contact them. Another design might work.

Also my friend gave me some Flare Calm Minis - I can wear them with just discomfort rather than pain, but can't work out if the acoustic benefits outweigh the nuisance factor. But wear them visiting a room with a fan heater.

essie_is_okay , to actuallyautistic
@essie_is_okay@aus.social avatar

How did you make a more robust sense of self? How do you know when your sense of self is strong or weak? Interested to hear people's lived experiences.

Years of dissociation and masking makes it hard to feel what is me.

@actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@Tooden @essie_is_okay @actuallyautistic

"Sense of self" can mean a few different things - I'm not convinced about the reality of a fixed or authentic inner self.

Some think I've a strong personality as I don't conform to typical expectations - but from the inside that doesn't FEEL like a self - it's too ad hoc/ reactive.

BUT, with age & understanding around being , I'm now less inclined to chase after whatever shiny looking archetype for existence has just caught my eye.

FrightenedRat , to actuallyautistic
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

Anyone else sometimes merge the concepts of 2 famous people into 1 - so that when you are confronted with the fact that these 2 people (with different names & histories) are indeed different, you are so shocked it's hard to take in?

Eg I merged Al Pacino & Dustin Hoffman into 1 idea accessed via 2 names. But they are different!!! 🤯

I do this a lot & with other types of entity too e.g. 2 supermarket chains with different names & logos got merged.

Bizarre.

@actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat OP ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@hauchvonstaub @actuallyautistic

Yes, I think that is it.

Initially I'll put named humans into their own concept/category, but then there's some kind of overlap & despite the unique names & incompatible biographical facts, the categories become so fused that I'm left reeling when I realise that they are distinct people irl.

I suppose with actors we SEE them with multiple screen names living incompatible screen lives, so amalgamating multiple actors into 1 is in some ways more of the same.

FrightenedRat OP ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@estellechauvelin @actuallyautistic
I need to know the final name now! (The one's you mention are actor's who work I enjoy.)

But if you can hold on to the fact that they are three different people, you are doing better than me. I somehow manage to forget that people are distinct.

CynAq , to actuallyautistic
@CynAq@neurodifferent.me avatar

I have a number of question for people who report :

Do you daydream at all, and if you do, how does that work without visuals?

How does your memory work in general? Assuming you remember seeing things, being in places, meeting people, how does that work?

When you need to describe the appearance of something, how do you go about doing that? Do you plan ahead and memorize lists of features while the thing is in front of you?

Thanks! I’m trying to wrap my brain around this phenomenon I can’t experience myself so if you take some time to educate me I’ll be forever grateful.

@actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@james @CynAq @actuallyautistic
Your first 2 paras sounds like me (I never knew daydreaming could go beyond thinking words).

I would never say I have strong visual learning (quite the opposite). However, I too like doing the diagram thing because it provides a spatial structure/boundaries within my conceptual network.

I can then think, in my mind, this new idea belongs with those things over there - and if feels like I'm physically pointing in a space, but there won't be visuals in my head.

sahat , to actuallyautistic
@sahat@c.im avatar

@actuallyautistic
the below quote has the most boosts and likes on masto right now. I am putting it here bc. some of us seem to feel is barrier between us and the NT world is insurmountable while IMO, we basically only experience , what many do, more pronounced and not being able to hide which makes our lives different.
The change we instill by our advocacy ripples throughout society.It will help all.That's why there is such weight on it.

"Admit it. You aren’t like them. You’re not even close. You may occasionally dress yourself up as one of them, watch the same mindless television shows as they do, maybe even eat the same fast food sometimes. But it seems that the more you try to fit in, the more you feel like an outsider, watching the “normal people” as they go about their automatic existences. For every time you say club passwords like “Have a nice day” and “Weather’s awful today, eh?”, you yearn inside to say forbidden things like “Tell me something that makes you cry” or “What do you think deja vu is for?”. Face it, you even want to talk to that girl in the elevator. But what if that girl in the elevator (and the balding man who walks past your cubicle at work) are thinking the same thing? Who knows what you might learn from taking a chance on conversation with a stranger? Everyone carries a piece of the puzzle. Nobody comes into your life by mere coincidence. Trust your instincts. Do the unexpected. Find the others." (commonly attributed but unsourced)@ruralgloom

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@sahat @actuallyautistic @ruralgloom

I can't decide whether I'm encouraged by the thought that a large number of people would like to break the social mould, or be horrified that so many people feel it as a burden but are still subjugated by an instinct / sense of needing to conform.

snoopy_jay , to actuallyautistic
@snoopy_jay@mastodon.world avatar

@actuallyautistic
What's the deal with "keen sense of justice"? I am not sure what it's called in English, but I keep reading that it's an autism thing and I definitely have been accused of an "exaggerated" sense of justice or having too much of it. Why do we have that?

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@punishmenthurts @Vincarsi @snoopy_jay @HaelusNovak @actuallyautistic

I've been told in some cultures nepotism isn't unjust, it's expected, because you'd have to be cruel & selfish to not help your kin.

I learned justice rules as absolutes, but others learn rules as guidelines that should obviously be departed from if it's to the advantage of one's in crowd. And while they don't like it, they're less outraged by the same from other groups, because they might well do the same.

FrightenedRat , to actuallyautistic
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@actuallyautistic

Hi, can anyone supply an example of a life hack where:

An autistic person might find the standard NT-easy way of doing a task hard, but can manage it via a non-standard approach that works well for them, but which NTs would class as hard/weird/way too much effort?

Bonus points if the example isn't about our best known differences like social communication or sensory issues (as at this point I'm trying not to flag that I'm talking about autism).

❤️ Thx ❤️

FrightenedRat OP ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@marytzu @actuallyautistic

Thanks - yes that could count! (I wouldn't expect any example to be universally applicable, so personal experiences are fine.)

karawynn , to random
@karawynn@wandering.shop avatar

Really excellent dual-author piece in the Nation on why separating 'types' of autism into different diagnoses is harmful to all autistic people.

https://www.thenation.com/article/society/autism-division/

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@marytzu @natalie_romana @ratcatcher @karawynn @actuallyautistic

IF autism is a kind of neurology that creates a spiky cognitive profile where each human trait is more prone to being stronger or weaker than the norm, then that could include some of us being outliers for a variety of intellectual abilities.

Many of us have dyslexia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia etc but others might struggle with logic, memory, abstraction, learning - with enough ducks in a row that could = Intellectual Disability.

Sci_Fi_FanGirl , to actuallyautistic German
@Sci_Fi_FanGirl@hessen.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

Can an teacher be a good teacher to NT students?

I have the feeling (certainly subjective and maybe wrong) that neurodiverse students like my teaching style and many students (ND+NT) tell me they like how I structure and explain things.

Yet, I often don't get what's happening and I struggle designing lessons NT-friendly. That's why it's often difficult and I don't know how to deal with some students.

Any thoughts?

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@onisillos @Sci_Fi_FanGirl @actuallyautistic

Some ND teachers DO jump to conclusions though - eg a logical & philosophically minded lecturer who taught v technical stuff he found simple.

When students asked questions it didn't occur to him that they weren't understanding the - oh so simple & surely self evident - basics. Thus he'd interpret the question as asking something deep about the underlying nature of the system, & excitedly launch into a tangent about metalogic/metaphysics.

💔 😬 🤦‍♀️

dave , to actuallyautistic
@dave@autisticnomad.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

Late-dxed/IDed friends:

Once you realized you were autistic, did you encounter overwhelming and overloading situations that you remembered "dealing" with much better before you learned you were autistic? Like learning you were autistic somehow changed how you processed these kinds of situations?

I'd love to (and frankly, need to) hear your stories. Please share if you're comfortable 💚🙏

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@nddev @Caddi @dave @actuallyautistic

"One of the first things I learnt about autists is that we're faithful to our spouses!"

I'd not heard that, but it's made me think. We need a poll! Except folks don't like to parade infidelities in public.

We can't all value monogamy or manage to stick to chosen forms of fidelity. But my slanderous & uninformed guess is that change averse Au folks may tend to be more faithful than AuDHD impulsive novelty seekers??

But RSD & PDA must also upset things. 🧐

ashleyspencer , to actuallyautistic
@ashleyspencer@autistics.life avatar

Can I get your opinion?

I’m hesitant to offer discounts for reviews with Autistic Bookshop because authors would lose 10% profit. I could do 5% for a review, but that results in a different author losing 5% profit for a review on someone else’s book.

Giving 10% off just my stuff doesn’t seem enough. Could give nothing, but I don’t think honesty and good will are motivating enough. Reviews help the autistic authors make more money.

What would you think as the customer?

@actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@ashleyspencer @actuallyautistic

I agree book ratings are subjective, but descriptions of why people liked/disliked a book are still informative.

I've been put off books by positive reviews that cite aspects I rarely enjoy; & (much more frequently) bought books because of bad reviews eg "too much philosophising, weird characters, no plot." ✅

I wouldn't buy a book online without reading a range of reviews first, so I'd class them as an essential part of marketing.

Sample pages help too.

EmOiva , (edited ) to actuallyautistic
@EmOiva@mastodon.world avatar

Does everyone have a running commentary in their head for whatever they are doing or experiencing, or is that a neurodivergent thing?




@actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@EmOiva @actuallyautistic

I'd describe my inner stream as continually thinking/planning & trying to find the right words to convey ideas (continuous editing); plus thinking about how I think & what I think - so meta cognition.

If I suspect emotional activity may be occurring I'll think about & try to describe to myself what state I might be in.

I relate less to inner narrators describing action & perception.

Is that different for you?

FrightenedRat , to actuallyautistic German
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@ahrimans_erbe @Zumbador @yourautisticlife @actuallyautistic

💯 Agree - I think the media portrayal of love is extremely damaging.

So. Limerance. Huh.

Definitely don't do that.

But as I said in another branch of this thread, I always wanted a life partner & I used to fantasise about being happy in a loving relationship - doesn't that make me romantic rather than aro?

[ I know my labels are up to me, etc, but I'm trying to understand how the terms are used. ]

Jobob , to actuallyautistic
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

@actuallyautistic so is this what a shutdown feels like? I'm exhausted after work, always previously said I was "tired". But importantly, I am feeling disconnected with myself, my inner monologue has all but stopped and I need to do the language equivalent of changing down two gears to make words. I can do the task in front of me but can't prioritise, engage higher brain function, or compare two tasks.
It occurs to me that this may not be how NTs experience "tired after a long day/week".

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@Jobob @actuallyautistic

I expect you are right & I hope you get a chance to recharge fully.

I don't know for sure but I strongly suspect that an NT person would be confused that you can

  1. be exhausted to the point of dysfunction but simultaneously

  2. be carefully engaging in meta-cognitive observation and analysis to understand and catalogue your state of mind.

[But I don't find this odd at all.]

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@Jobob @actuallyautistic

Yep. The meta thinking doesn't stop for me unless I'm ultra caught up in something e.g. occasionally while watching a play.

But whenever I talk about meta stuff to the NT guy I know he seems to think I'm being "too deep" & that thinking those kinds of thoughts must be exhausting & maybe I'd better stop.

Which makes me wonder, if other people aren't constantly having those kinds of thoughts, then what the hell is happening in their heads?

CynAq , to actuallyautistic
@CynAq@neurodifferent.me avatar

@ferrous @actuallyautistic

I'm 27 minutes into this video you recommended me on my other account: https://fb.watch/nsxiaiBcBF/

and I must say, it's brilliant.

I'm not just talking about its usefulness in clearing up theory quite a bit but also giving me something I can absolutely relate to personally.

I felt a need to stop and make this post because of the comment about demand avoidance.

Just a couple days ago when I was trying to assess my mental states through the lens of monotropism, the first thing I thought about was my demand avoidance, and a general reluctance to start attention-demanding or stressful tasks because of my fear of potentially being interrupted or distracted by environmental factors.

The mechanism I proposed for this was the countless times I was pulled out of my flow states (or simply the good and enjoyable times I've had, engaging with something that meant a lot to me) by some external, parental or societal demand, and how this recurring trauma (because it indeed is traumatic) taught me to avoid all kinds of behaviors which would decrease my alertness to the outside world.

Hearing the same thing on your discussion helped a lot for putting things into perspective. Thanks for the recommendation.

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@GreenRoc @CynAq @ferrous @actuallyautistic
Me too - I hadn't thought of it in terms of trauma, but I've noticed that knowing I have an appointment or unavoidable task later in the day makes it really really hard to settle. As if the whole day were spoiled.

While if there's nothing planned I get a feeling of bliss. (Though sadly that's no guarantee that I won't fritter my time away all the same. :face_melting: )

manon , to actuallyautistic
@manon@metalhead.club avatar

So, once again I spent literally hours thinking about that and how I should tell my occupational therapist next time how much the surgery scar hurts.
Until finally, after hours, it occurred to me that taking a painkiller might actually help. Because that’s why they had prescribed them in the first place. In case it hurts. Because that’s what surgery scars can do.

I don’t know whether to laugh about myself or to cry. Will I ever learn? 🙄

@actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@manon @actuallyautistic

I rarely take pain killers. With small pains I prefer not to stop the signal which I regard as info.

  • there's a silly element of quasi religious/cultural "suffering=good for the soul" learned from my dad.

But when pain gets BAD it just never occurs to me!! I forget it's an option. (Which is how I came to give birth with zero pain management but wishing someone would knock me unconscious. 🤣 I'd said to the midwife not to keep asking as I'd say if I needed anything.)

AutisticAdam , to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

Many autistic people have so much anxiety because, from a young age, we’re taught that our natural differences, as well as innocent things we do for ourselves (and things we can’t do), can anger other people and result in them punishing us, even when they’re not affected by them.

@actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat , (edited )
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@ReimanSaara

I doubt anyone can 100% know if anxiety is inherent to autism.

I agree the world doesn't need to be so hostile to autistic kids (& adults). Thus much anxiety is added by circumstance.

But, just like our sensory, motor control, language & emotional processing circuitry, our anxiety system may be wired to produce heightened or unusual responses that predispose us to anxiety.

Perhaps the truth will turn out to lie somewhere in between?

@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@aaronesilvers

I'm not so sure I relate to that definition - maybe we each mean something different by "anxiety"?

For me it's mostly an autonomic response. It gets triggered by sound & light & motion just as much as by higher level cognitive stuff eg social interaction or worries about a problem.

Strong physiological responses could inherently arise from our neurology. But as you say, that could also multiply our reactivity to life experiences.

@ReimanSaara @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@ar_collins

My perception is: the infrequent "attacks" are the daily stuff writ large.

So, would you call it "panic" when it's not an attack & nowhere remotely close to panic but just living your life with your body on high alert + full of unarticulated apprehension & unsourced dread? Seems no closer to panic than anxiety.

GAD has a long list of physical symptoms & Panic Disorder is sometimes classed as extreme anxiety. Muddy.☑️

@aaronesilvers @ReimanSaara @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@ar_collins
I don't think Stress covers it.

I check most of these GAD symptoms on the NHS site: https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/mental-health/anxiety#symptoms

At the end it says "if you have GAD, it may not always be clear what you are feeling anxious about." So maybe the physical turmoil side can get a bit detached from the mental Worrying over X side.

Constantly over analysing (worrying over?) everything + having alexithymia might detach the mental/physical aspects?

@aaronesilvers @ReimanSaara @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat , to actuallyautistic
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@337guanacos @kkffoo @actuallyautistic

That indeed was a terrible crime.

Though for me the even worse part was the move away from E H Shepard's sublime illustrative style.

DivergentDumpsterPhoenix , to audhd
@DivergentDumpsterPhoenix@disabled.social avatar

One of the nuances that "responsible drinking" campaigns often miss is the reason why Autistic and otherwise neurodivergent people drink.

Autistic people don't necessarily drink with the goal of inebriation. Often, we drink to cope with the social environment. It acts as a social lubricant that makes it easier to talk and cope with the sensory bombardment that often happens in spaces where drinking is happening.

@actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy @audhd

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@DivergentDumpsterPhoenix @actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy @audhd
I thought pretty much everyone drinks to cope with the social environment? Is that not the case?

I've seen a trope that some drink excessively to blot out/dull consciousness, but I assume that's uncommon in the population as a whole.

I'm not sure I understand what it means to get drunk just to get drunk. If it's not accidental then wouldn't they have some reason for ingesting toxins?

Oh - they just like it, full stop???

obrerx , to actuallyautistic
@obrerx@neurodifferent.me avatar

In light of recent events here, it's clear Mastodon is a wild social world for me.

It's not as toxic as twitter, nor as hierarchical, nor as profit driven.

But it can be toxic here. It can be confusing. It can be triggering. It is in some ways like other social media including twitter.

It IS amazingly easy to be misunderstood here. To be misread.

And I've been misread my entire life. I've experienced trauma as an autistic child. PTSD. c-PTSD. I don't deal with toxicity well.

Too much conflict is confusing to me. Too many different personalities all chiming in at once confuses me.

[Note to self: it's not a crime to explain the history of a hashtag.]


(this tag includes self-assessed autistics, and is meant to create spaces for autistic discussion)



@actuallyautistic
@allautistics

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@dave @obrerx @actuallyautistic @allautistics

Warm and appreciative thoughts from me too. I have a great deal of respect for what you have to say, and I'm not alone in this.

Probably a lot of us here get the same intense (disproportionate?) anxieties after posting here as we do after a real life conversation - was I misunderstood, did I offend/say something ill judged? Might it be better to hide under a rock in shame for eternity?

It's not always easy to keep going; I'm so glad you do.

anomalon , to random
@anomalon@neurodifferent.me avatar

Pattern brain:
Why the rush to a new hashtag when has been in use for ten years and is understood across every platform in use now?

Rude brain:
Why did all the cool kids get up and decide to sit at a new lunch table when the poor weird kid who was raised in a cult sat down with them?

Pattern brain: Shut up

Rude brain: I'm doing your job now.

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@CynAq @anomalon @autistic[email protected]

It wasn't a rush to a new tag.

When I 1st came here I assumed was gatekeeping & didn't interact until I saw the tag explained. Most weeks since I've seen posts assuming the same.

But like many of us I'm fond of the AA tag, plus change is... unappealing.

Then I saw a couple of posts under & got quite anxious we'd go through the pain of change but end up with another problematic tag.

So I thought I'd better say something.

ratcatcher , to random
@ratcatcher@neurodifferent.me avatar

For anyone having issues with the hashtag, there is also and @allautistics (the latter being a recently created group that you can follow and post to).

They are intended for anyone who is (or thinks they might be) autistic (formally or self-diagnosed).

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@ratcatcher @allautistics @actuallyautistic

The tag is problematic as we CONSTANTLY have to explain that it's not intended as gatekeeping.

So I'm up for us all rallying around a clearer tag.

However, people posting their experiences tagged with are going to get others jumping in to say: You don't speak for ALL autistics!!

I fear it's a case of repeating the same ambiguity mistake twice.

Which is ironic when our bag is supposed to be a love of specificity!

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@ratcatcher @Gtmlosangeles @allautistics @actuallyautistic

It's not about who invented a tag but finding a shared tag that doesn't need exposition.

I don't want to be a jerk but the meaning isn't "clear enough" as there's a viable 2nd interpretation.

AllAutistics seems clear juxtaposed against AcutallyAutistic, but if you take away that context & put it in a random post:

Withering inside when someone laughs loudly. [
]

It could EASILY look like over-generalising.

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@flowerpot @Gtmlosangeles @ratcatcher @allautistics @actuallyautistic

I was liking @dave 's
I ?
&
@hauchvonstaub 's

but now I think

would work perfectly!

What do other folk think?

Is change possible?

[I wasn't trying to be controlling & suggest that there must be one and only one hashtag that everyone used, but I do think we need one tag with enough of a critical mass to let new members quickly locate a wide and diverse community.]

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@Gtmlosangeles @hauchvonstaub @ratcatcher @allautistics @actuallyautistic

Is that your own poem or a quote?

Either way it's fabulous. 👏

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@100mountains @flowerpot @Gtmlosangeles @ratcatcher @allautistics @actuallyautistic @dave @hauchvonstaub

If you are after regional groups then maybe use or to follow the pattern.

Once the local tags were in use then starting to type should bring up the localised versions as well, so doing it that way round would help with visibility.

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@26pglt @hosford42 @yourautisticlife @Aerliss @marytzu @dpnash @CynAq @actuallyautistic

I think the quickly correcting comment was in relation to self dx/questioning people with impostor worries who feel excluded, rather than about gatekeepers.

It only takes a post to set them straight IF WE KNOW WHO THEY ARE - but my worry is that some may never get as far as engaging.

I don't wish to change tags but to me it feels the logical & kind solution as even 1 person lost like that is a tragedy.

hosford42 , to actuallyautistic
@hosford42@techhub.social avatar

I'm . The sound of the train blowing its horn as it passes my house makes me cover my ears in pain. But the throbbing bass of the engine that causes a deep pressure in my chest from the vibration makes me feel happy.

When I was a kid, I used to crank up the bass of my parents' stereo and sit directly against the woofer to feel that pressure. They would always yell at me to turn it down. I've always loved that feeling.


@actuallyautistic
@neurodiversity

FrightenedRat ,
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

@estellechauvelin @ScottSoCal @johnettesnuggs @hosford42 @Tooden @actuallyautistic @neurodiversity

Ooh - it's interesting that you have difficulty with graphic novels/comics - I can't manage them either!

When I say this I get accused of snobbery, but the effort I need to put into extracting info from them makes me stressed & exhausted. I simply don't know where to look - especially if the speech bubbles jump about.

& in video games I'm awful at tracking both the mini-map + the main content.

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