StrassenKatze

StrassenKatze OP , 7 months ago

They're all behaving like fucking animals, everyone is talking super loudly across the room instead of getting the fuck up, people keep fucking tapping my shoulder if they want something, it's a fucking nightmare @actuallyautistic

StrassenKatze OP , 7 months ago

And my manager, who is the loudest motherfucker ever, and has no business even sitting in my corner, keeps complaining that my keyboard is too loud, oh FUCK OFF @actuallyautistic

StrassenKatze OP , 7 months ago

@callunavulgaris @actuallyautistic that asshole opened a ticket with It on my behalf, asking them to give me another keyboard, the audacity!!! Thankfully, the IT guy is my friend and told him they would have to order one first, lol

StrassenKatze OP , 7 months ago

Almost everyone of my coworkers here is really cool, but that guy is toxic work environment personified @actuallyautistic

StrassenKatze OP , 7 months ago

@callunavulgaris @actuallyautistic haha, nice! He's a good friend of my boyfriend, and I got him the job here 😁

StrassenKatze OP , 7 months ago

@peterainbow @johne @actuallyautistic yo, wtf?! That's just vile!

StrassenKatze OP , 7 months ago

@tausierra @actuallyautistic our main office is in the UK, but I'm based in Germany. I'm engaged in our "enablement team", and it has also already been brought up there that mandatory attendance can be really problematic, some of the people from London said they wanted to bring this up to HR, but I haven't heard anything back yet.
I also had a talk with my manager (the nice one, not the loud one), and we'll work something out (starting with seating the loud guy THE FUCK AWAY from me).
Let's see how it goes, for now I'm dreading next Tuesday :/

StrassenKatze OP , 7 months ago

I usually have no problem working from the office a few days a week - most of the time there's just a handful of people there, but having everyone there at once is a fucking nightmare. How do neurotypicals do it?! @actuallyautistic

StrassenKatze OP , 7 months ago

@johne @actuallyautistic in the before times I still worked shifts, so there were always only a handful of people there. Nowadays we have so many new teams, and they all work 9-5 :/ at least they were reasonable enough to not expect the shift workers to come in, too!

StrassenKatze OP , 7 months ago

@peterainbow @johne @actuallyautistic I'm so sorry to hear that, you don't deserve this :(

StrassenKatze OP , 7 months ago

@tausierra @actuallyautistic thank you 💜🌻

StrassenKatze OP , 7 months ago

@actuallyautistic and sure, I could probably get away with just taking my stuff and sitting anywhere else in the office, but then I'll be stressed out by having to adjust to a new space for the next few hours, and won't get anything done 🙃

Heck, I can't even sit on the other side of my own kitchen table without feeling uncomfortable!

Besides, that is my desk, specifically chosen because there's no overhead lighting and because it's in a usually quiet corner.

StrassenKatze OP , 7 months ago

@actuallyautistic maybe I should just make my keyboard even louder. Which switches were the loudest ones again?

StrassenKatze , 9 months ago

@Dr_Obvious @actuallyautistic same here! I recently read an article about how genetics determine if you're even able taste salmiac/liquorice with it's full flavour. For people without this gene it supposedly just tastes sharp and bitter (probably like the cilantro tasting of soap thing)

StrassenKatze OP , 9 months ago

@actuallyautistic I really hope this catches on in my city as well, and I also hope that shops like fashion- or hardware stores will follow suit!
I don't know about you, but I tend to get pretty overwhelmed in big fashion retail stores like H&M. I'm already anxious about clothes shopping, but the bright, loud environment kicks my anxiety up to 11.

StrassenKatze OP , 9 months ago

@actuallyautistic and those damned mirrors and lights and shit everywhere can make me quite disoriented, too. I've stopped counting how often I've walked straight into a mirror because I was so distracted I didn't even realise that the person I saw moving in my direction was actually my own reflection. So weird. Someone please tell me I'm not the only one this happens to 😂

StrassenKatze OP , 9 months ago

@THOMSOTRON @actuallyautistic I've both cussed at, and apologised to my reflection before 🙃 at least the only ones who probably saw it were the store detectives that, for some reason I can't explain*, start following me around as soon as I step foot into any "fancy" store.

*just kidding, the reason is I have strange hair and probably look very sus with how I tend to meander around when I'm overwhelmed, lol.

StrassenKatze OP , 10 months ago

@aproposnix @actuallyautistic yep, had my ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend gang up on, and in the end, drop me because of this. It made me seriously question myself and my capability for empathy, until I started hanging out with more ND people, who intuitively understand my intentions and don't get offended.

StrassenKatze OP , 9 months ago

@VeeRat @actuallyautistic I know and love these back and forth story sharing times! NT people probably think it's a one-upping pissing contest 😂

StrassenKatze , 9 months ago

@Susan60 @26pglt @GuyDudeman @actuallyautistics >>And I struggle to imagine any allistic person pretending to be autistic in the hope of getting extra sympathy & support for their anxiety. From what I can gather, most self diagnosed people have been on a very long & arduous journey of self discovery & haven’t self diagnosed on a whim.<<

You hit the nail on the head!
All my life I've felt like I was from a different species entirely, I've been bullied relentlessly, abused in all kinds of ways, and I was so, so lonely. In my twenties I still thought that I might have BPD, but once I left my toxic relationships behind and overall mellowed out in my thirties, autism started more and more sense. I've been "out" with my self-dx for around 2 years now. It helped me finally make sense of me and my world. But you know what? Despite the peace I've found in this, sometimes I still wish I could instead just be "normal". I did certainly not self-dx because it seemed like a fun thing to do!

StrassenKatze , 9 months ago

@GuyDudeman @Susan60 @26pglt @actuallyautistics nope. And I won't be getting one anytime soon.
It might be years until the wait list of one of the very few clinics that are qualified to diagnose autism in adults is opened again, and then it might be some more years until I get seen, and then it might take some more years until a diagnosis is made.
There are sites like embrace-autism.com that offer remote evaluations and even diagnostics by qualified professionals, but the process is very expensive, and sadly, I don't have that kind of money to spend.
I might end up doing at least the professional evaluation tho, if enough is left of my annual bonus next year.

StrassenKatze , 9 months ago

@GuyDudeman @Susan60 @26pglt @actuallyautistics if I go to a doctor or clinic in Germany that is covered by my insurance, yes. Not all doctors accept "Kassenpatienten", some are private insurance only.
But my Krankenkasse won't pay for a doctor in Canada or anywhere else in the world. Most likely not even if I were critically sick and had to have life saving treatment done overseas.

StrassenKatze , 9 months ago

@GuyDudeman @Susan60 @26pglt @actuallyautistics I can. I could go to a regular therapist to deal with stuff in the mean time. I could even get them to pay for homeopathics, lol. And they will of course also cover the cost of getting professionally diagnosed.
But read what I wrote before again, there are currently no free spots on the wait lists, let alone open wait lists. There are currently no professionals available locally.

StrassenKatze , 9 months ago

@pa thank you 💜
@Susan60 @26pglt @actuallyautistics @GuyDudeman

StrassenKatze , 9 months ago

@GuyDudeman @Susan60 @26pglt @actuallyautistics yeah good idea, I'll call them first day Monday morning and tell them to put up a wait list wait list, and if that gets full they can simply open a wait list wait list wait list. Brilliant mate, cheers

StrassenKatze , 9 months ago

@GuyDudeman and to be honest, I really don't like the way you're questioning me, you don't even seem genuinely interested, to me it feels more like you're trying to prove some point, and I don't want to be part of that, so please be so kind and back off. @Susan60 @26pglt @actuallyautistics

StrassenKatze , 9 months ago

@Susan60 thank you for the encouragement, I really appreciate it. Overall, I have been met with so much support and understanding here, I'm very happy to have found this group @26pglt @GuyDudeman @actuallyautistics

StrassenKatze , 9 months ago

@Susan60 @GuyDudeman @farah @26pglt @actuallyautistics >>
So when people get defensive or irritable, this is why. I’m probably running on ADHD sourced energy right now, but will probably slump soon, because I will feel drained. Dealing with the scepticism & suspicion of others is draining.<<

Once again, hit the nail on the head. Thank you for putting this into words

StrassenKatze , 10 months ago

@eo @actuallyautistic that I am being disrespectful/cocky or insubordinate when I ask for the explanation or reason of a task assigned to me.

The truth is that I have anxiety on top of being ND, so if I don't understand why something needs to be done, I might end up shutting down and not being able to do it at all, or I make mistakes that I could have easily avoided if I'd just gotten some more information to really understand what's being asked of me.

StrassenKatze OP , 11 months ago

@tazedhippo @actuallyautistic oh, I love (/s) this flavor of idiot.
They're the same people that call women "females" and then turn around and tell you that you're different, because you're not like these other hussies 🤢

StrassenKatze , 11 months ago

@Kellyshenanigans @samiam @actuallyautistic regarding the poker face, I only recently really noticed that I don't have much mimic/facial expressions; of course I do smile and frown and stuff, but apart from that my face is pretty much blank all the time. Sadly, this gives me what I like to call "resting idiot face" 🙃 but on the bright side, my face is smooth as a peach, with not a single tiny little wrinkle in sight, so that's nice lol