FrightenedRat

nddev , 3 months ago to actuallyautistic

An explanation for your friends and loved ones of why #ActuallyAutistic people can't find things and what they can do to help us:

https://www.thearticulateautistic.com/why-your-autistic-loved-one-cant-find-objects-right-in-front-of-them/

@actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat , 3 months ago

@nddev @actuallyautistic
I'm confused - I also don't register what's in front of me, but thought that meant I was hypo rather than hyper visual. But maybe the hypo visual presentation is a defence to limit overload.

They say: when they see a cluttered desk they don't see the individual items but The Amorphous Blob of One Thing. Can someone confirm that some humans DO see multiple items simultaneously? Seems unlikely - isn't focussed vision like a narrow torch beam sequentially switching locus?

alexisbushnell , 3 months ago to actuallyautistic

Fellow @actuallyautistic folks, what are your experiences with and feelings about smart watches?

I realise that's a very broad question but I don't want to skew the replies by sharing my experience and why I'm asking!

FrightenedRat , 3 months ago

@alexisbushnell @actuallyautistic
I ❤️ my cheapo Android watch as it lets me go on runs & walks without taking a phone or credit card. It has a GPS & I can put mp3s + audio books on it. Then use NFS/Google Wallet to pay for stuff at the shops on the way home.

For me knowing the distance & speed I was managing daily was motivating to do more.

I put QR codes for cinema/coach tickets etc on it - so I don't need to faff around digging my phone out of a backpack or even bring it at all.

FrightenedRat , 3 months ago to actuallyautistic

Any views on the #iSense cinema experience for #ActuallyAutistic people?

I'd quite like to see Dune II on a big screen, but I'm a bit scared of the overwhelm.

Usually it's only sound overwhelm that affects me & I'm okay with the visuals on regular screens showing 2D films (though I don't get on well with 3D). So I'm hopeful the extra screen space wouldn't have too much of an impact.

But than, also, is it worth the extra money?

@actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat OP , 3 months ago

@actuallyautistic

It turns out the Odeon iSense cinema experience is NOT something I can cope with - even with Loop Engage earplugs the noise was utterly overwhelming. Particularly the deep bass rumble vibrating right through my whole body & the cinema seat.

My face kept involuntarily twisting into extraordinarily exaggerated expressions of terror & distress that I had no idea I was capable of. But I only cried once & managed to stay seated.

Why is it legal to play sound as loud as that?

Mux , 3 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic
I often hear about temperature dysregulation, but I don't think I experience that myself. Rather, I experience sensory sensitivity to heat.

I was wondering how this manifests in the community. Are you sensitive to cold? To heat? To dryness? Humidity? Or are you generally dysregulated? And what does that mean for you?

FrightenedRat , 3 months ago

@Mux @actuallyautistic

I have a TINY range for hot/cold comfort - I shiver in temperatures most people find comfortable, but when I stop feeling too cold I almost immediately transition into too darned hot.

Slightly too cold: PAIN & misery.

Slightly too hot: zombifying suffocation.

If my head gets too hot I faint.

dave , 4 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic

What do the terms "hyperfixation" and "hyperfocus" mean to you?

I've seen these terms used interchangeably. I'm writing a blog post about hyperfixation coping strategies, and I want to make sure I'm clear on how I'm using these terms.

#AskingAutistics #ActuallyAutistic

FrightenedRat , 4 months ago

@dave @actuallyautistic

I'd say hyper focus is where nothing can get in the way of what we want to pay attention to.

And hyperfixation is when we can't drag our attention away from something.

FrightenedRat , 4 months ago

@dave @actuallyautistic
I'm not sure the duration is relevant, it's more about intensity & choice.

Coding I can hyperfocus for weeks with the bare minimum of sleep/food/toilet breaks. But crucially, it's what I choose to be doing. I may feel bad about skipping things lower on the priority list, but, hey, at that moment, they are lower.

Hyper-fixation - I just can't get something out of my head. It may stop me doing my job. It may be negative priority: like a vampire counting spilt seeds.

FrightenedRat , 4 months ago

@dave @actuallyautistic

But I think there is also overlap - because sometimes there's something you've been doing as a seemingly voluntary high-priority project but you gradually feel yourself coming out of that mindset & starting to wonder why it all seemed so important & necessary, but even then, you may still have a need to complete it.

I don't believe there's a clear cut line between choices and compulsions. But the distinction does work sometimes.

vger , 4 months ago to actuallyautistic

I think I'm done with watching real competitive team sports. I've always had problems with excitement when watching my favorite team play. I've watched yesterdays super bowl, my team being the 49ers. My heart was racing the whole game and it was impossible for me to control my temper in any way, I was stimming like crazy the whole time. Regardless of my team losing, I did not get anything positive out of that experience. I just felt miserable the whole game.

@actuallyautistic
#actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat , 4 months ago

@vger @actuallyautistic

Sorry it was a bad experience. You aren't alone:

My guy was a lifelong fan of an English football team - had all the merch, knew all the facts, agonized over games - then one day turned round & said it was all too stressful.

Now, in a characteristicly inflexible all-or-nothing response, not only does he NOT follow the team, he AVOIDS hearing anything at all about football.

I'm not suggesting you be as rigid as him, but I hope you feel free to do what's right for you.

sebwhatever , 4 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic #askingautistics

What's the last good book you've read?

FrightenedRat , 4 months ago

@Aerliss @sebwhatever @actuallyautistic

The Overstory by Richard Powers - it begins with the roots of separate stories about humans & their connections to trees, then those stories grow together & intertwine into a novel.

It's a concept book with an ecological message & crammed with interesting facts & observations, but it's also strong on human psychology. For me it was a page turner too.

Plus lots of the characters are coded #ActuallyAutistic .

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Overstory

StrassenKatze , 4 months ago to actuallyautistic

So, my office made attendance mandatory once a week, starting today. I've been here for 1,5 hrs and have already cried, bitten a hole into my stress relief chew toy, and stuffed my face with two bags of Haribo. I can't fucking do this, someone get me out of here please 😭 @actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat , 4 months ago

@nddev @johne @StrassenKatze @actuallyautistic

Well done for resisting!

How do you go about getting your antibodies tested in the UK - is it a referral from your GP to the NHS?

eo , 5 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic do you have a pair of headphones that you love?
Whether or not you consider yourself an audiophile.

FrightenedRat , 5 months ago

@Susan60 @Tiffany @eo @actuallyautistic

Anything in or on my ears hurts, but I needed plugs for an event. Tried Loops: XS size wasn't too horrific in Left ear, but had to buy XXS tips for Right. It's ok but for BRIEF periods only.

Worst part now is the outer ring: too big & sore. So maybe for in-ear buds my issue is size. Or maybe the pain of the outer distracts me from the inner.

Finding external phones that don't press my skull is a problem.

Don't know why I'm XL for a hat & XXS for ears!

FrightenedRat , 5 months ago

@Susan60 @Tiffany @eo @actuallyautistic

Yes - just realised that after posting - need XXS for something on the inside and XL for something on the outside - because basically I don't want anything touching me. Lol.

But no, I didn't contact them. Another design might work.

Also my friend gave me some Flare Calm Minis - I can wear them with just discomfort rather than pain, but can't work out if the acoustic benefits outweigh the nuisance factor. But wear them visiting a room with a fan heater.

essie_is_okay , 5 months ago to actuallyautistic

How did you make a more robust sense of self? How do you know when your sense of self is strong or weak? Interested to hear people's lived experiences.

Years of dissociation and masking makes it hard to feel what is me.

#Neurodivergent #ActuallyAutistic #Disability #mentalhealth #queer #trans #NonBinary #neurodiversity @actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat , 5 months ago

@Tooden @essie_is_okay @actuallyautistic

"Sense of self" can mean a few different things - I'm not convinced about the reality of a fixed or authentic inner self.

Some think I've a strong personality as I don't conform to typical expectations - but from the inside that doesn't FEEL like a self - it's too ad hoc/ reactive.

BUT, with age & understanding around being #ActuallyAutistic, I'm now less inclined to chase after whatever shiny looking archetype for existence has just caught my eye.

FrightenedRat , 5 months ago to actuallyautistic

Anyone else sometimes merge the concepts of 2 famous people into 1 - so that when you are confronted with the fact that these 2 people (with different names & histories) are indeed different, you are so shocked it's hard to take in?

Eg I merged Al Pacino & Dustin Hoffman into 1 idea accessed via 2 names. But they are different!!! 🤯

I do this a lot & with other types of entity too e.g. 2 supermarket chains with different names & logos got merged.

Bizarre.

@actuallyautistic
#ActuallyAutistic

FrightenedRat OP , 5 months ago

@hauchvonstaub @actuallyautistic

Yes, I think that is it.

Initially I'll put named humans into their own concept/category, but then there's some kind of overlap & despite the unique names & incompatible biographical facts, the categories become so fused that I'm left reeling when I realise that they are distinct people irl.

I suppose with actors we SEE them with multiple screen names living incompatible screen lives, so amalgamating multiple actors into 1 is in some ways more of the same.

FrightenedRat OP , 5 months ago

@estellechauvelin @actuallyautistic
I need to know the final name now! (The one's you mention are actor's who work I enjoy.)

But if you can hold on to the fact that they are three different people, you are doing better than me. I somehow manage to forget that people are distinct.